“We don’t give narcotics in the field if there is any chance of a head injury as a rule. Do you want to see your husband?”
Adam shook his head.
The older man nodded. “We’ll be keeping your husband for a 24-hour observation, unfortunately he’s fighting us on that. You may want to talk to him. CT scan showed a small occipital subdural bleed on the left side. Even if he doesn’t have any neurological changes during the night, we’ll need to rescan him in the morning to make sure it’s not getting bigger. Luckily, no skull fracture.” Again, he paused, typing in a final note. “Well, if you want to go home, you can. Do you have someone who can drive you home?”
In that instant, Adam realized there was only one person he felt he could call. Much of his life had always revolved around Eagle, Eagle’s family and his ex-wives that he never bothered to make ties with anyone else.
In that moment, reality gave him the answer to the question he’d asked himself when Claire passed away. ‘Who would be there to hold his hand when he died?’ After Eagle, his family and Michelle found out about his HIV status, he was sure they would walk away. It’s what he deserved after all the years of lying. Now the answer to that question was clear. No one.
Adam’s breath caught in his chest. His eyes began tearing up. He reached up with his bandaged hand, pinching the bridge of his nose to keep the tears at bay. He realized the ER physician was waiting patiently.
“Uh…, right, uh, my sister Michelle Coulter, I guess. My cell phone was destroyed in the crash.” He gave the other man her number and asked if one of the nurses could call her.
****
Thirty minutes later, Michelle appeared. “What the hell happened, Adam?”
He explained briefly before a nurse arrived with his discharge papers and a wheelchair. A few minutes later, he was being wheeled through the hallway toward the exit. They stopped for a moment. Adam looked over and saw Eagle sitting up on the side of the gurney. From the look on the nurse’s face, Eagle was threatening to sign himself out.
They moved on through the din of noise commonplace in an ER, he faintly heard Eagle’s voice calling his name. He didn’t look back, but Michelle did.
“Eagle’s coming this way.”
Adam shook his head. “I don’t care. Just get me home, okay, Chelle?”
He saw her pause, but he motioned for the nurse to take him to the waiting car. Michelle caught up with him. “Adam, listen, he just wants to talk to you. What’s this about Claire?”
Adam closed his eyes. His left wrist had begun to throb. “Claire passed away Wednesday morning. I was there.”
“What? What happened?”
Adam stood then opened the passenger side door, climbing into the convertible. He took a deep breath. He knew where this was going to end. The air smelled of ozone and rare rain. Lightning flashed in the distance. Oh yes, there was definitely a storm coming.
“Let’s just go, I’ll explain later.”
“Adam.” Eagle leaned down, resting his hands on the car door. “Please.”
Adam looked up. The sadness in Eagle’s eyes matched his own. “You’re supposed to be resting here overnight. Do what the doctors say.”
“I have to talk to you.” He pleaded. Suddenly, he shut his eyes against the pounding in his head and the harsh glare of the lights. For a second, he thought he would pass out again.
Michelle looked at her brother, then pocketed her keys making it very clear that Adam was going exactly nowhere.
“Alright, but let me speak first.”
Eagle nodded.
“All these years I’ve lied to you, Tonto. Lie after lie after lie. So many now I can’t keep track. Even on our wedding night I couldn’t tell you the truth. You thought you were my first man, but as you’ve already found out, you weren’t.” Adam laughed, but there was no humor in it. “My love, you weren’t my first or my fifth or my….” He buried his face in his hands as the tears began to flow. “There have been so many men and women. I’ve lost count. I shared needles, for God’s sake, Eagle. You’re right to think I’m a fucking bastard because I am. I’ve totally screwed up my life and now because I wanted you so bad, I had unprotected sex with you. I fucked you and you fucked me over and over again.” He moaned in pain as his chest tightened to the point he could barely breath, but he had to go on. “Now I’ve messed up your life, too. You are the man I love more than anything else in this world.”
Eagle reached out, touching Adam’s arm. “No. Kemo, I don’t care about the others. I care about you. Please, Adam. Give me another chance.”
Adam shook his head, then he looked up into his husband’s eyes. His voice was soft, pleading. “Eagle, Claire died of AIDS related pneumonia at five am Wednesday. Do you understand? She died of AIDS. My blood covered your hand, you tore your knuckles when you hit me the other night. That’s why I tried to stop you. Why I begged you to quit hitting me, otherwise I would’ve let you beat me to death. It’s what I deserved after everything I’ve done to you. I’m so, so sorry, Tonto, but you need to get tested.”
Eagle stood there, stunned, until Adam’s warm hand covered his hand. Adam looked over at his sister. The look in her eyes told him she’d overheard his confession. Her face fell and she started to cry.
Pulling away from Adam, Eagle took a few steps back. He stopped when his back hit the concrete wall of the building. The lights around him began to blur and swirl just as Eagle Woodard passed out.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Three days had passed since he’d informed Eagle of his probable HIV status. He waited for the inevitable explosion. Any hopes or dreams he’d harbored of reconciliation with the man he loved were dashed under the glaring fluorescent lights of Presbyterian Hospital’s ER pick up and drop off area. He was ready, but days passed and there was nothing. No angry calls in the middle of the night. No furious pounding on his apartment door. No facing shouted, much deserved recriminations and he knew he’d stand there, eyes cast down, mute…, dead, allowing the storm of Eagle’s rage to flatten him into the ground. Arms hanging limply at his sides as his lover spewed epithets. He’d stand there. Repudiate nothing because he deserved every ounce of his condemnation and more.
He’d been the one to talk Eagle into bareback sex the night they were married. Over and over, Eagle submitted to him because he loved him and later because his lover felt guilty for the part he’d played in the assault. He’d taken advantage of that guilt to get exactly what he wanted from Eagle. He’d used every trick in the book.
Adam looked at himself in the mirror. The man he saw resembled little more than a skeleton dressed up in a fancy suit and tie. Expensive cufflinks so heavy they weighted down the newly starched cuffs. They dangled each time he moved his wrists or arms. His eyes began to glisten and suddenly one tear cascaded over the lower lid, followed by another, then another. He allowed a single sharp ragged inhalation before he angrily wiped the tears away with the heels of his hands. Self-pity was an indulgence reserved for the innocent.
Adam pulled his shoulders back, standing straight. Running his hands through his now short cut hair, he had to admit he wasn’t missing the longer tresses. Eyes bloodshot, he pushed his sleeves up on his forearms. A quick twist of the cold water tap and a cupping of hands made it easy to splash his face with the shock of icy water. He felt himself calm and pushed down the emotions which bubbled too near the surface, but the weight in the pit of his stomach was still there.
He glanced at his watch. The only reason it didn’t twirl around his wrist was the cheap leather band had an extra hole in it, cinching it in place. He knew he had to get going. After settling Claire’s estate with Dills, Sr., Adam was meeting a real estate agent in twenty minutes concerning the sale of the home he’d shared with ex-wife number four.
Adam reminded himself that he was doing this for Eagle. He was being responsible and tying up loose ends before…, he shook his head. His past had finally caught up with him in a big way.
“Come on, Adam.
Be an adult. You can’t run anymore.” He attempted to give himself a pep talk. “Put the house on the market, then lunch with Michelle and Angela.” He wasn’t looking forward to either thing, but he couldn’t run anymore. Facing his past was part of his recovery. The talk with Michelle and Angela was going to be difficult and probably tear filled. Adam’s stomach gurgled as he glanced at the refrigerator, he remembered he hadn’t eaten breakfast yet. He knew he had time to stop for coffee and a donut if he left now.
Picking up his keys from the kitchen counter, he headed for the door. Absently, he checked his pockets for his wallet and phone, then yanked his front door open promptly running into a tall, solid human wall. Startled and wide-eyed, Adam took several steps back before he recognized his caller.
“Eagle?”
“We have to talk.” The larger man pushed past his lover.
“Okay.” Adam sighed. He turned and stood straight, ready to face whatever Eagle had to say. “Let me have it. Just don’t hit me again. I don’t want to have to change my suit. It’s actually the only one I have that halfway fits me now. I’m meeting my real estate agent about selling Claire’s house. I’m supposed to be there in fifteen minutes, so let’s get this over with.”
Eagle turned then took a step toward Adam, staring into his husband’s eyes. Adam noted how fast Eagle was breathing and how flushed his skin. Then it happened. Eagle grabbed Adam’s face, cupping it between his hands. His bruised jaw protested, but Adam didn’t try to remove Eagle’s hands. Eagle leaned in and kissed Adam deeply, passionately. Throwing every ounce of love he had for this man into that one, single kiss. He took Adam’s breath away.
It took a moment or two for Adam to realize what was happening. His own hands flew up and he enthusiastically joined in. They pressed their bodies together as Eagle walked him backwards to the bedroom. When the back of his knees hit the edge of the bed, it brought Adam back to his senses.
“Eagle!” Adam pushed back. “Eagle!” But his husband persisted, casting kisses down his neck as he tried to push Adam’s coat from his shoulders. “Eagle! Stop!”
Eagle’s busy fingers persisted.
“Eagle, stop!” Adam grabbed the other man’s wrists, halting his progress. “Tonto, I’m probably HIV positive.”
“I don’t care.” Eagle growled as he worked to unbutton Adam’s shirt.
“But, Tonto….” Adam broke away from his lover.
“I don’t care.” Eagle’s hands returned to the buttons as he started again.
“No! No! Stop!” Adam pushed Eagle back. “What’s gotten into you?”
“You, on our wedding night and what, six or seven times after that? Kemo, if you’re poz then so am I. If the sex wasn’t enough to turn me, the blood was. I love you, Kemo. I love you and I don’t care. I just want to be with you now. Right now. Please.”
Eagle had Adam out of his trousers in seconds and his own clothes followed. One pull of his strong hands and the remaining buttons on Adam’s lavender shirt were history. Only the tie still knotted at Adam’s neck remained. It was an impediment, but Eagle smiled and decided to use it to his advantage.
Tightening the knot, he let it drape to the side. Groin to groin, they aligned their bodies. Without words or effort, they fell on the bed and into a familiar rhythm, then Adam’s cellphone rang. They both looked at the suit jacket lying on the far side of the bed.
“It’s probably the real estate agent.”
Eagle nodded. He got up and grabbed the phone. “Hello…, yes, this is Dr. Coulter’s phone. Who am I speaking to…? Mr. Kramer, this is Detective Eagle Woodard of the APD. I’m sorry….” Eagle smiled at Adam. “But Dr. Coulter is assisting us on a case. My fault. Could he meet you in an hour?” There was a pause as Eagle listened. “Of course, I’ll let him know.” Eagle ended the call and tossed the phone on Adam’s bedside table. “He can’t meet you in an hour, but he can in two, if that’s not okay, you just need to call him back.”
Adam stretched getting more comfortable on the bed. “So we have two hours.”
Eagle nodded. He picked up Adam’s suit coat and hung it on the back of a chair. “Yes, a whole two hours.” Eagle stood at the end of the bed, looking down at his nearly naked lover. “God, I love you, Kemo.” He spread Adam’s legs apart, then slowly crawled up his lover’s body. “I wanted to hate you for leaving me. For running away, but then I realized, it was the only thing you knew how to do. It’s what you’ve always done.” Adam’s husband leaned down, running his tongue up the underside of Adam’s erect cock. “Where’s your lube, Kemo?”
Adam frowned, “I put it back under the sink in the bathroom.”
Eagle nodded. He got up and in a few seconds he returned. Coating his dick with the slick fluid, he laid atop his lover, aligning their cocks and starting again.
Adam kissed his lover with each stroke. He groaned a warning, but much to his displeasure Eagle backed off. “What?”
Eagle removed the tie from around Adam’s neck. With a gentle smile, he gathered his lover’s wrists in his hands. Looping the silk around Adam’s wrists, Adam pulled back.
“Careful.” He hissed. “I hurt the left one when I rescued you.”
Eagle laughed. “You didn’t rescue me.”
“You got hit on the head so I’ll excuse your faulty memory, Tonto.”
Catching Adam’s wrists again, he brought the silk wrap around and tied his lover to the headboard.
“What are you doing?” Adam tugged at his restraints.
Eagle reached down between them and started stroking Adam’s cock. “I love you, Kemo. Have since we were kids. I’m never letting you run out on me again. If you leave, I will follow you this time.” He whispered into Adam’s ear before licking and sucking his lover’s soft earlobe into his mouth, caressing the soft skin with his tongue. Adam moaned, his hips rising up with each stroke of his lover’s tongue, then suddenly Eagle stopped. Squeezing more lube into his hand, he reached between them and then farther back.
“Eagle? What…?”
Eagle rose up. Taking Adam’s hard cock in his fist, he held it in place as he straddled it then slowly lowered himself onto it. Grimacing, he hissed. “Been too long. Fuck! Hurts.”
“Eagle! No! Stop! Please, stop.” Adam tried to struggle. He tried to pull away but Eagle had him pinned. “Tonto, please. If by some miracle….”
Eagle shook his head. “It’s alright, Adam. I already know I’m positive.”
Adam’s eyes widened, “What? How? When did you find out?”
Eagle just shook his head and started to move in earnest. “Hush. Enjoy.”
Adam could feel the tight pressure building in his groin as it called to him to let go. It had been so long since his cock had been in another man’s body. This feeling was too good, too perfect and he didn’t want to hold back. He could feel the warmth spreading through him and there was nothing more he could do to stop the inevitable as he cried out. “Eagle! Oh, God. Eagle!” His balls drew tight to his body as he poured his hot seed into his lover’s ass. He felt Eagle’s rectal muscles as they milked the last drop of cum from his body. An instant later, Adam felt the hot, wet evidence of his lover’s orgasm as he jerked himself off. It was too much to take in as his body arched up to meet his lover’s.
A moment later, Eagle collapsed on his lover's sweaty body. He rested there. Nodding off into oblivion until Adam jerked at the silk tie restraints around his wrists. “Let me go, Eagle! Now!”
It took a moment for Eagle to float back up to reality. He debated on whether or not to untie his lover so soon, but he thought it best not to piss Adam off any more than he already had so he tugged at the slipknot. As the silk fell away, Adam lowered his arms and wrapped them around his husband.
“Oh, God, Eagle.” Adam whispered softly as he began to cry. A warm hand reached around and tenderly cradled Adam’s head. Leaning down, Eagle kissed his lover’s lips with a passion that made both men breathless. They stayed that way until Eagle rolled over. He reached out
and held Adam tight. Great sobs started again as Adam cried, overwhelmed by everything he was feeling.
“It’s okay, babe. Don’t cry. Honestly, Adam, please. I…, I….” He stroked his lover’s sweat soaked hair, running his fingers through the shorter strands. “You cut your hair, Kemo. I like it. I always preferred you with short hair.” He buried his nose in his lover’s hair, breathing in his familiar scent. “I miss my long hair. I regretted cutting it the instant I did it.”
Adam sniffed, “I hated mine long, but just for a little while I wanted to be someone else. I finally decided to cut it. This is me, not some slacker version of an Adam Coulter that never existed. Besides, this is easier. I had no idea how much work it was to take care of long hair.” He laughed halfheartedly.
Eagle ran his fingers through the shortened strands, “I like it short.”
“When did you find out you were, you know, positive?”
Eagle grimaced. “I’m not sure I want to talk about it right now. I just had a wonderful round of sex with my husband and I don’t want to ruin it.”
“Please, Eagle, tell me.”
He shook his head, but he knew Adam would never let this go. “After you left, I went a bit crazy. I started drinking heavily, did drugs…, mostly Ecstasy. I hit the clubs hard. Had a lot of unprotected sex. To say I wasn’t coping well was an understatement. I guess, like you, I did have a death wish. I still drink too much, but I quit clubbing.” He pulled Adam close to his chest, pressing his lover’s head against his shoulder. “There’s no way I could be negative, Kemo.” He could feel Adam’s body tense up. “No, like you, I haven’t been tested in years, but you know the feeling. Like something’s wrong, but your body doesn’t know how to tell you. That’s how I feel.”
“You lied to me, Tonto.”
“No, I’m as sure as you are. You haven’t been tested, either, have you, Kemo?”
Adam pushed his lover away and sat up on the side of the bed. Eagle almost cried as he truly looked at Adam’s body for the first time since he’d come back from Los Angeles. His lover was painfully thin, ribs and back bones stood out in high contrast. His scapular wings crisscrossed were by healed scars. The word adulterer was clearly visible.
Mountainway Chant Page 18