by Maren Moore
"Yes, you should have. We're in this together. That's the best thing about being here with you: even if neither of us has a clue what we're doing, we can learn and navigate it together." She stops talking and puts her hand on her stomach, smiling, "And she's kicking up a storm right now. I'd like to think that's her telling you to stop worrying and enjoy this moment. Here, feel."
She grabs my hand and puts it next to hers. A few seconds later, I feel the steady tap against her stomach, and it puts a smile on my face.
Fuck, I'm a goner for the both of them.
"Now, how about dinner and a movie. The goriest, scariest movie you can find." Her eyes light up.
Oh, did I mention, that's a new...symptom of Sophia's pregnancy? She's a born-again horror buff. Call me a pussy if you want, but after Saw VI, my stomach can't take anymore fucking contraptions. Just thinking of that shit causes my stomach to roll.
"Dinner and something…not so gory?" I say, hopefully.
Her eyes roll, "Fine. You know for a big, macho hockey player, you sure are a baby."
"Hey, don't wound me like that, woman. I'm the biggest, most macho hockey player you know."
"That's only because I haven't met the rest of the team yet."
I know she's teasing, but a pang of jealousy hits in my gut. Shit, I never thought about what would happen if Sophia ever decides to date.
God, this shit is complicated. If she ever decides to date, I’m just going to have to beat everyone the fuck up. Then word will spread, and they'll just stop coming around.
Right?
I groan inwardly. Add it to my list of "fake fiancé baby mama problems."
"My feet are killing me." Sophia groans as she flops down on the couch, the cushions swallowing her into their plush fabric.
"C'mere," I command, grabbing her by the ankle and pulling her towards me, placing both of her feet in my lap.
She protests, but I ignore her and start rubbing my fingers along the soft skin of her arches, applying more pressure as I go.
"Oh God," she moans, as her eyes roll back in her head. Holy fuck, this took a turn.
"Good, huh?" I grin.
"Don't ruin this for me. Ah, that feels amazing."
"That's generally what they say."
I couldn't pass it up She set herself up for it.
A pillow comes sailing through the air and smacks me directly in the face.
"Ouch. Fuck, St. James. When did your aim get so good?"
"Watch it," she warns.
When I put my hands up in surrender, she all but growls that I'm no longer rubbing her feet. I can't help but laugh. So demanding.
She looks like the best version of Heaven I'll ever see laid out next me. Her cheeks are flushed, and a small smile rests on her lips from my teasing. She looks happy. Her hand is on her now noticeable bump, and it's something I could spend forever looking at.
I was never the guy who imagined that I'd settle down, start a family, and marry the girl of my dreams. That stuff seemed too far out of reach and not in the cards for me, yet every single second I spend in Sophia's presence, I yearn for it. Suddenly, all I want is Sophia and our child. Together, in my house.
I want to lose myself inside of her every night until one of us had to get up and check on the baby—and then once more when she’s back in my arms.
But my dreams—all this shit that I can’t stop obsessing over—are never coming true.
Sophia made that clear from the start, and it looks like she has no desire to change her mind. She's hyper focused on Rook and everything that we need to do to prepare for her arrival. Not that I blamed her. Hell, I'm so excited I can hardly stand it, and I’m enjoying every minute of being by Sophia's side for this pregnancy.
But I want more.
I want all of it to be real. I need it to be real. Every single part of it.
"So, my mom called today..." I say.
Her eyes snap to mine, and she eyes me warily, "Okayyyyy. And what did she say?"
Well, I won’t be repeating exactly what Mama said, since she chewed my ass for over an hour, and there was a lot of screaming. I absolutely would not be sharing any of that with her.
"She says she wants to meet you soon. I told her I'd discuss it with you and see if we could go home for the weekend next week."
I can feel her tense beneath my touch. It's not something we've discussed, not with all of the other stuff we've been faced with.
How will she act in front of our families? Our best friends?
Will she carry on with our carefully constructed facade, or will she let the truth out?
The latter scared the fuck out of me. It’s another reason I hate all of this—the lies, the fake bullshit we were pretending. At least, she was still pretending every day.
"If you're uncomfortable, I can put her off, Sophia." I tell her.
She immediately shakes her head, "No, no. That's not it. I'm just...I'm just nervous. That’s all. What if they hate me?" She sucks her bottom lip into her mouth, chewing on it nervously.
"That's the last thing you need to worry about. My mom is going to love you."
"Does she know…about the baby?" she asks.
"No. I didn't want to tell her over the phone. I already had to tell her over the phone that I’m engaged to a woman she's never met, and let's just say she hasn't quite gotten over it yet." I laugh.
"Understandably. I'm fine with it. It'll give me a chance to spend some time with Holly too."
"Yeah, Scott's been telling me to come up for poker night, but things have been busy. Cool, I'll tell her we'll come. Thanks, St. James. But listen...." I pause, my fingers digging into the arch of her foot, "You'll have to keep your hands to yourself. I wouldn't want people to think you actually like me or something."
"Ha-Ha." She rolls her eyes, but the small smile never leaves her lips. "Wonder what would give that away. The fact that we're getting ‘married,’" she air quotes, "or the fact that I'm wobbling around with your baby."
"Mmm, I love when you say that. Say it again." Instead of rubbing, my fingers tickle the bottom of her foot, which she promptly yanks from my grasp.
I prowl towards her as she scrambles backwards on the couch to escape.
"Sorry, St. James, not happening." I grab her by her ankle and pull her towards me until I'm hovering over her small frame, my head bowed only inches above hers. I can feel her pressed against me, we're so close. I press my fingers into her side gently, tickling her until she's squealing and thrashing beneath me.
"Stop, stop. Hayes, oh my god."
There's laughter in her voice, so I press my luck.
"Can't do it. Only when you say, "Hayes is the best baby daddy on the planet, and I would choose him over Toaster Strudel."
"You're going to make me pee!" she cries.
"Don't care. Lemme hear it."
I stop my assault in order to give her a chance to breathe and speak, but she seals her lips, folding them over in a zipped lip motion.
Oh, so she's feeling feisty tonight.
"Don't make me hide the Toaster Strudel."
"You wouldn't!" she gasps.
"You bet your sweet ass I would."
"Fine. Fine. Stop. Oh god."
I’m enjoying this way more than I should. I’m particularly enjoying how she’s wiggling beneath me, conveniently rubbing against my cock, which is now straining against the fabric of my gym shorts. Everything about her turns me on, and I couldn't rein him in if I tried.
Yes, I'm referring to my cock in third person.
"You're the best baby daddy." She huffs. There’s a look of annoyance on her face—the little space between her brows that’s pinched together goes with the small scowl on her lips. The same scowl that keeps slipping, so the smile she’s desperately trying to tamp down is bursting through.
"Annnnnnd."
This time she punches me in the chest. "Ugh, and I would choose you over Toaster Strudel. You're impossible, Hayes Davis."
"Thank you, D
r. Martin."
Sophia's holding the envelope with our baby's gender in her hand, and it's killing me not to know what's inside. We agreed that we'll open it together in front of our family and friends once we make it home. She said that the people we love are already missing so much of her pregnancy, so she wants to do this surrounded by everyone.
At the time, I couldn't have agreed more. But now I’m seriously second guessing our decision to wait. We have to drive over three hours with it sitting between us, begging to be opened to reveal to us if Rookie is actually a girl like Sophia thinks, or if he was going to be my mini-me.
I'm happy either way, but the wait might do me in before I even find out.
"My pleasure. Congratulations to the both of you." Dr. Martin shakes my hand with a warm smile and pats me on the back. He turns to Sophia and gives her a hug before pulling back, "Now, if you have any more morning sickness, make sure to take the medicine and try and take a few bites of crackers with a few sips of ginger ale. And, of course, call me if you need anything."
"I will. Thank you again." Sophia smiles and gives a small wave as he walks out the exam room door.
"Wow. So here it is."
She holds up the plain white sealed envelope.
"There it is."
"I want to open it so badly. I mean, we're not. Because we promised ourselves that we would do it with our families, but the anticipation is going to eat me alive. I am so excited!" she exclaims. Her eyes are so bright and happy. They shine with an excitement that matches my own.
"I know, I was just thinking about how I can't possibly wait another second. It feels like we've waited forever."
She nods then hops down from the exam table, grabbing her purse before turning back to face me, "Exactly, and as much as it kills me to wait, we have to. We came this far. Imagine everyone's faces. Holly said she could get this cannon that has blue or pink for us to pop in front of everyone...but we would need to give her the envelope so she can buy it. What do you think?"
"I think it would be awesome. Let's do it."
As we exit the room, Dr. Martin's nurse pops by to congratulate us and tell us goodbye, and then we're walking out of the clinic, back to the truck. Before we left the house, Sophia packed enough shit for us for six months for our three-day trip back home. The plan was to come to her appointment and, since it’s early enough, hit the road and make it back to our hometown before dark.
"Great." Sophia mutters when I slide into the seat next to her and start the truck.
"What?"
"I have to pee."
"Already? It's been five minutes." I laugh.
She looks offended that I threw the “already” in there, but...we haven't even pulled onto the highway.
"And? I've got a baby dancing on my bladder. We can happily trade places, you know."
"Only teasing, St. James. Don't get your panties in a twist."
"Not wearing any."
I look over at her, my gaze immediately going to the pair of skinny jeans she's got on that are stuck to her body like a glove. Fuck, even in jeans and a pair of Chucks, she outshines any model I've ever seen.
Simply beautiful. She doesn’t have to put an ounce of effort into her appearance, and she's still the most beautiful woman in the room. And the craziest part? She doesn't even realize it. She truly has no idea the effect she has on the opposite sex. It's part of what makes her so appealing.
"You wanna go there?" I ask her, waiting for a genuine answer. Because if she says it, I'll pull this truck over and yank her into my lap right here.
"Mmm, don't know what you mean, Hayes."
"You're lucky my mom is expecting us for supper, or I'd show you exactly what I'm thinking right now."
She looks up at me through hooded eyes, "Good thing then."
The moment is broken when a car honks behind me. I curse, then back up and pull out of the parking spot and onto the highway. Finding the nearest gas station for Sophia to pee, we make a quick stop then are on the road home.
Our entire ride, Sophia turns the station a hundred times until she finds something that I have no idea what it even remotely is, and sings along. Then we stop to pee, again. After she comes out with pickles and a Sprite, we're back on the road again. An hour later, we stop to pee…again.
It's a miracle we make it to my parents’ house before midnight. Only slightly behind schedule and with a pregnant, grumpy woman in my front seat, I couldn't wait to find the nearest bed and sleep.
"That was...." She yawns, stretching her arms over her head as we stand in my parents’ driveway. The sun has just set, and the moon is high in the sky, casting a shadow of moonlight on her face. Her cheeks are pink, her eyes tired but bright, and fuck…those lips… bruised from the amount of time she’s spent nervously chewing them. After that ride, I’m not waiting another second to have her.
I’d heard enough of her throaty, breathy moans the entire ride, watched the way her chest rose and fell with each tense breath she took in. I knew she felt it too—I just needed to show her. Some things can’t be spoken; they have to be felt.
I step forward and pull her into my arms, capturing her lips in a kiss filled with every bit of pent-up frustration and tension that we've been dancing around for weeks. She moans against me, melting into me. The sound is so sweet to my ears, it takes everything I have not to pick her up and carry her inside.
The thing I can't help but notice? She doesn’t protest once. Maybe, just fucking maybe, she’s feeling the exact same thing that I have been for weeks.
Pulling back, I look into her eyes, my hands cupping her face, “Now that that’s out the way. Ready?”
She doesn’t speak, momentarily stunned that I kissed her like it was my right to do it. Her glassy eyes hold mine before she whispers, still clutching onto my hands holding her. “No, but something tells me, I’m going to have to be.”
Seventeen
Sophia
That kiss changes everything. It's the first time that Hayes has kissed me or touched me that wasn't in the heat of a moment. He moved purposefully and with intent, taking me by complete surprise. I didn't have time to think or protest. All I could comprehend was the feel of his lips against mine. He kissed me like I was water in a drought—like he had wanted to for so long but had held back until finally, like the opening of a dam, he collided into me with unbridled force.
Now, sitting here at his mother's dinner table, surrounded by his father, brother, and sister, all I can think about is the tingle on my lips from where he kissed me breathless.
“Here you go, baby.” Hayes smiles and hands me the plate. He’s being his normal overprotective self, making sure to take off the broccoli, because he knew I’d be halfway to the bathroom the second I saw it on my plate.
"So, Sophia, Hayes tells me that you two are getting married. Have you decided on a venue yet?" Adrian, his sister, asks from the other side of the table. With her long, dark hair and thick brows, she looks so much like Hayes it's almost comical.
"Uh, no not yet. We're taking it slowly." I smile. She nods, and I go back to pushing around a piece of food on my plate.
"Sophia, could I talk with you for a moment? Alone?" Hayes' mother Darlene, interrupts.
My stomach immediately turns to knots. It means more to me than anyone knows that Hayes' family accepts me. I know we’re about to shock everyone with our news, and I know that his mom was already upset about our secret engagement. I hate the fact that we are lying to everyone, but protecting the career he's worked so hard for is important. I know that he wants to tell his parents, at least, the truth, but he doesn’t want to hurt them in any way. It would kill him to do so.
"Of course."
I push my chair back and put my napkin on my plate. I'm through for the night anyway. My stomach is full of too many nerves to actually enjoy anything.
I follow behind her as she leads me down the hall into a study, but not before Hayes catches my eye and winks. Inside the study, she shuts the door be
hind us and gestures to the couch along the wall. We sit, and she takes the spot next to me, surprising me by pulling my hands into hers.
"How far along are you?" Her tone is soft and not at all condescending. To say I'm shocked is an understatement.
"How did you know?"
"A mama knows everything, sweetheart. Hayes didn't tell me, if that's what you're worried about. He's very...protective of you. Even telling us about you," she says, "But, some things you just... know. And one thing that I know is my son is crazy about you."
My heart skips a beat, an entire thump in my chest gone with her words. Little does she know, her son and I are fooling everyone.
"I'm eighteen weeks. We found out the sex today and planned to tell everyone after dinner. We don't know the sex yet, but we have an envelope with it written inside. I'm sorry...we haven't told anyone. I wore this baggy sweater hoping that it wouldn’t be noticeable until we were ready to announce the news."
The wrinkles near her eyes deepen as she smiles, a wide genuine smile that lessens my nerves and unknots some of the tangles inside of my stomach. "Darling girl, don't apologize. I'm just happy to see Hayes find someone that makes him as happy as you do. I can tell how much he loves you, just by the way that he looks at you."
What? Does Hayes...have feelings for me?
"He's wonderful. So much more than I expected. He has made this pregnancy a breeze. He's kind, attentive, and does anything and everything he can to make sure I'm comfortable and happy. I couldn't have done this without him."
She nods, "Marriage is hard work. Throw in a newborn, and it gets even harder. I remember whenever Hayes was a baby. I was a first-time mother, newly married, and had no clue about being a mother or a wife. I was learning as I went. It won't be easy, Sophia, but I have no doubt that you two will figure it out together."
Her advice is kind, and it soothes my worries. I ask myself daily if I’ll be a good mother. Will I do things right? Having a child that looks up to you for everything is the biggest responsibility in the world, and I’m determined to do it the right way. I mean, I never expected this, but I’m thankful that I’m not alone and Hayes is here with me.