by Cindi Madsen
His temper flared. “Oh, that’s all I am. A man? Yet you let that city slicker you hardly know help you.”
“He’s not giving me a handout, you ass. He offered me a job and is allowing me to make the decision, not declaring he knows best and telling me what I should do, like Pops does with my mother, and you know how much that bugs me.”
This situation was getting out of control. Brady sucked in a deep breath so he wouldn’t say anything he couldn’t take back. “Tanya, we’ve been best friends forever. I’m not telling you what to do.” His heart beat a savage rhythm, one that screamed it didn’t know how to beat without the woman across from him. “I’m telling you that I’d do anything for you, just like I’d do anything for my family. I love you.”
It’d burst out of him, but it was the truth.
“I’m in love with you.” Those feelings had expanded so quickly once they’d taken things a step further. Maybe it was fast, but in a lot of ways, they’d been building to this for their entire lives. They were supposed to work.
They had to.
He didn’t take it as a good sign that instead of saying it back, Tanya started crying.
* * *
Tanya was as embarrassed as she was upset. She’d always prided herself on her control over her emotions, and she loathed crying in front of people. Even Brady.
Lately, she seemed to tear up at the drop of a hat. Yet that wasn’t being fair to herself, because there’d been a lot of huge upsets this past month. Pops not listening or budging, confessing her feelings for her best friend, and struggling to find a way to balance it all. When she was a little girl, Pops used to tell her that if she was going to cry, he’d give her something real to cry about. But choosing between her dream job and her dream guy seemed pretty freaking real, with a side of unfair. It was also a decision that could affect the entire course of her life.
Brady swore, his expression on the helpless side as he looked at her with the same level of alarm one might give a ticking time bomb. “I’m sorry. I pushed too hard.”
“I promise I did try to find a way to stay.” She sniffed. “I did my homework, wrote up an entire business plan, and presented it to my parents. It just fell on deaf ears.” While she loved the way she’d grown up, she was sick of feeling like she wasn’t progressing and never would. “I can’t live like this anymore. And while I haven’t given Eric a firm answer, mostly because I needed to talk to you first, how can I say no to a huge opportunity? As you and I well know, those don’t come around every day. Especially not here.”
Her best friend stared at her, not moving or even breathing it seemed, worry and adoration in every line of his face.
“You could come with me,” she whispered, already so sure of the answer she didn’t dare up the volume of her plea. A few times during high school—predominantly whenever she was grounded for this, that, or the other—she’d asked Brady to run away with her. While it was mostly a joke, he’d always gone and brought logic into it. He’d tick off questions, like how would they get money, what would they eat, and where would they live? Then he’d add that Silver Springs and his family’s ranch was home, and he’d live and die here. Still, she had to ask. “Your past concerns would be solved. As equal owner, I could offer you a job. We could rescue and rehabilitate horses together. None of the townsfolk would even know us well enough to meddle, so bonus.”
Brady let out a long exhale full of despair and regret. “I can’t, Yaya. Every time my ma mentions Nash, I can see how much it breaks her heart that he left behind the home she worked so hard to give him. She already feels like she’s lost one son, and with Wade and Jess getting ready to have a baby, they’re going to need all hands on deck.”
“I know. This place is in your blood.” Knowing and being happy about it were two different things. Shallow, rapid breaths sawed in and out of her mouth, and tears stung her eyes once again. “Living and dying for your land is the cowboy way, and you’re the very definition of a cowboy.”
“You’re a helluva cowgirl, too,” he said, his voice as rough as gravel. He glanced at Phoenix and the Appaloosa gelding, back to her, and then he ran a hand over the lower half of his face. “I know I’m not gonna win this argument, same way Nash and I couldn’t convince you to leave that bird on the side of the road without a proper burial.”
She opened her mouth to respond, but he placed a gentle finger to her lips. “Truth is, we could use more people out there like you, stepping in when something ain’t right. I’m sure you’re going to do amazing things, no matter what path you take, Tanya Clayton.”
“I appreciate that.” His features blurred as more tears flooded her eyes. She wound her arms around his waist. “And just so you know, I’m in love with you, too.”
He cleared his throat over and over, as if he were struggling with the same giant lump she was. “Shit,” he croaked out.
“Shit,” she echoed. “I realize this situation is far from ideal, and not what either of us planned or hoped for. We barely just scratched the surface on the romantic side of our relationship, and now…”
How did she even finish? She was trying so hard to convey her feelings while walking the right line that would leave their relationship—whether friendship or more—intact. A big part of her wanted to ask if there was any way they could still make things work. But long distance would make everything more difficult, and maybe they’d only end up damaging everything they’d had. “Now I’m feeling conflicted and confused and questioning myself all over again.”
Brady grazed her cheekbone with his knuckles. “That’s why you need to take me out of the equation.”
“How on earth do I do that?” she asked. “You’ve been part of me for so long I don’t know if that’s something I can even do.”
“You can. I don’t ever want to hold you back.”
She shook her head. “You’ve never ever held me back.”
“I’m sure I have. Your parents have, too, although they likely thought they were protecting you, same as me. If it weren’t for us, you would’ve graduated from college, found your passion sooner, and would likely already have a rescue horse ranch up and running.”
“Maybe. But I wouldn’t change the way things happened for the world.”
“Me neither. I’m glad we had this last little while, even if it wasn’t nearly long enough. Take all the time you need to figure things out.” After giving her a sad smile and chucking her on the chin, he turned to leave.
“Wait,” Tanya said, snagging his hand. “Where are you going?”
“Home. Not much else to do.” The world skidded to a stop as he cupped her chin, much the same way he had the first night he’d kissed her. He used that iron thumb to tip her face to his, and then his lips brushed hers, a light peck she couldn’t quite latch on to before he began to withdraw.
But then he dove in again, as if he couldn’t help himself. Tanya looped her arms around his neck and kissed him with everything she had in her, doing her best to show him how much she cared.
The kiss turned urgent, and Brady drew it out, as if he were taking his time memorizing the taste of her.
When they broke apart, a horrible truth slammed into her and robbed her of her breath. That hadn’t seemed like a to-be-continued kiss.
It felt like goodbye.
Chapter 25
Oh, holy crap.
Harlow pulled up to the rodeo grounds on Saturday, her heart doing a thump, pump, splat thing that suggested it’d forgotten how to be a heart. This morning’s breakfast threatened to make a reappearance, and suddenly she wanted to turn around, slam the gas pedal to the floor, and hightail it out of here.
But Turn Around Ranch was depending on her, even though she’d been MIA since Monday. Also known as the last day she’d seen or talked to Maddox. Did he think she was mad? Or worse, that she’d given up on him? Had he decided she wasn’t worth the trouble?<
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Life had been rough since Mama received the call from Brady, along with the news he’d caught her and Maddox kissing. While Harlow had known Mama would be upset, she’d had no idea. She’d overheard Mama yelling at Brady about how she’d trusted him, an obvious mistake since he clearly couldn’t keep her daughter safe.
As if she were ever in any danger. She’d even attempted to argue that point before her punishment had been delivered. No more training at Turn Around Ranch. No more parties, no phone for a week, and no Chloe and Aiden.
Worst of all, no Maddox.
What there had been more than enough of this past week were tears. Harlow cried over the story Maddox had told her about his little brother and the family who’d left him behind. Regardless of whether or not they meant to, they’d solidified his belief no one would ever truly want him. She cried because she missed him more than she thought it was possible to miss a human. Before this past week, she’d thought that type of longing was reserved for the hours she had to be without Maximus, who’d always been her best friend, sad or not.
Somewhere along the way, Harlow had formed friendships with Chloe, Aiden, and—the most unlikely candidate in the group—Maddox. Hopefully that last dude considered them more than friends, the same way she still did. It’d taken a whole lot of bargaining and a lengthy list of regulations, but she’d managed to persuade Mama to let her finish her job of assisting during the amateur preshow and to allow her to rope with Maddox for the official team roping event. It was the only way she’d still have a chance at the All-Around Cowgirl title, and luckily, Mama understood how much that meant to Harlow.
Her biggest fear was that the second the rodeo ended, Mama would drag her away and ban her from the ranch until Maddox was long gone. Then he’d leave and continue thinking no one cared, and the thought of that didn’t just tug on her heartstrings, it snapped them clean in half.
As if all that angsty crapola wasn’t bad enough, over the past few days, she’d had to train in the same arena as Bianca. Oh, but it couldn’t just end at that level of suckage. Bianca’s mother had heard from a friend of a friend about how good girl Harlow Griffith had been caught making out with one of those troubled teens, and in addition to spreading that around, she suggested everyone watch their precious children! As if the teens at the ranch were deviants set on destroying the purity of the teenagers in town. Spoiler alert: They did a good job on their own.
“Now it makes sense a guy that hot went for you,” Bianca had said with a snide smile as she’d passed by Harlow and Maximus yesterday morning. “He didn’t have a whole lot of options.”
Maximus had stomped a hoof as if he wanted to make Bianca pay for it, but Harlow held her ground. Maybe she was as sweet as Maddox claimed—although he might’ve changed his mind after the mess they’d landed in—but she’d grown stronger as well. So she’d smiled and said, “You’re not gonna have a whole lot of options once we beat you and whatever minion you’re ropin’ with. What’s gonna happen when you run out of people who can actually stand you?”
That’d been the sassier and more confident version of Harlow. Currently, she was wishing she could return to her past self and break off a chunk of that confidence. The annoying thing was that Bianca’s words had replayed through Harlow’s head enough to leave her wondering if she had overestimated Maddox’s affection for her. That she’d simply been there.
No. Bianca doesn’t get to diminish my connection with Maddox because she’s jealous.
Harlow’s hand trembled as she reached for the door handle. She didn’t recall ever being this nervous for a rodeo, and she should be a pro by now.
She was a pro at this.
Which was why she sucked in a breath and climbed out of her truck.
The black, embroidered rockabilly shirt had been a slightly frivolous purchase, but it fit her perfectly, the red roses standing out and the skulls adding that hard-core touch she aspired to.
Harlow ran a hand down her hair and snagged her black felt cowgirl hat from off the bench seat. She slammed the door and placed the Stetson on her head. Another deep breath and she was ready to go find everyone.
And by everyone, she mostly meant Maddox.
Excitement and nausea were a weird combination, one that reminded her of the time she’d eaten too much cotton candy at the state fair, ridden every crazy ride there was, and ended up barfing blue.
Real cheery thought. Why don’t you tell Maddox about that first thing so he can run screaming? If he doesn’t already want to run away from me.
The familiar Dodge Rams that were ordinarily lined up beside the main cabin at Turn Around Ranch caught Harlow’s eye. She walked over to where the staff was putting horses into different gated-off sections.
“Hey,” Harlow said as she approached Chloe.
Chloe immediately embraced her in a tight hug. “Girl, you look amazing! I’d be terrified if I was competing against you. Honestly, I’m a bit terrified anyway. I’m afraid I’m going to fall on my face or my ass, and I couldn’t even sleep last night, I was so nervecited. How do you do this all the time?”
It took Harlow a moment to sort through the stream of words and realize Chloe had combined nervous and excited, which was the perfect definition for how Harlow was also feeling. “I guess it’s become the norm for me, but I’m still nervecited. Especially today.”
“Because Maddox will be here?” Chloe punctuated the question with an eyebrow waggle.
“Maybe. Is he, uh, here already?”
“I came in the first wave with the rest of the girls, but the boys are pulling up now.” Chloe clamped onto Harlow’s hand and charged toward the giant van Mrs. Dawson was parking next to the trucks. “By the way, sorry you guys got busted kissing. The same thing happened to me and Aiden, and it totally blew. I’m sure it’ll get better, though.”
Harlow certainly hoped so. Please, please don’t let Maddox think I’m more trouble than I’m worth.
Speaking of Aiden, he was helping Mrs. Dawson out of the van now. The older woman reluctantly accepted his hand, and then the back door slid open. Three guys and Maddox stepped out. The only boy she had eyes for was wearing his usual white shirt, ripped jeans, and… Well, at least his biker boots didn’t need to be laced.
A full-body swoon swirled into her tornado of emotions. If she attempted to squish them all together, the way Chloe had done, it’d be more of a mouthful than supercalifragilistic-whatever-adocious from Mary Poppins.
Her lungs stopped taking in oxygen as Maddox approached, and they ceased working altogether when he reached up and smoothed the spot between her eyebrows with his thumb. “What’s got you thinking so hard?”
“Mary Poppins.”
Maddox laughed, the sound so loud and full that it buoyed her, too. “I can’t believe I ever suggested you weren’t tough.”
“Yeah, only tough people think about Mary Poppins. That chick packed some serious heat in her bag.”
He laughed again, and then Harlow was in his arms, being hugged so blessedly tight. “God, I missed you.”
She fought tears as she returned his embrace. “Right back at you. Are you okay?”
“I am now,” he said, and with his arms around her, everything inside her calmed and soared at the same time. Maddox glanced at the group of adults with a sigh and dropped his arms. Then he gave her a bone-melting smile. “Ready to kick…butt?”
One of her hands drifted to his biceps, and she couldn’t help copping a quick feel because dang, he was even more ripped than she remembered. “Actually, I’m ready to kick as”—Maddox’s eyebrows shot up, and she finished with—“inine people’s butts.”
Maddox chuckled. “I was about to say, ‘Whoa there, Sugar.’ Five days without me, and you go and turn into a rebel.”
“I didn’t mean to leave you alone.” She glided her fingertips down his arm and grabbed his hand because she wasn’t sur
e how many more times she’d get the chance.
“I know,” he whispered as he laced his fingers with hers, plugging the hole that’d formed in her heart and renewing her confidence.
“Okay, everyone,” Brady said, pausing to scowl at her and Maddox’s linked hands. Right. Mama had yelled at him and most likely updated him on the list of restrictions: no holding hands, no kissing, and above all, no sneaking off with “that boy.”
Reluctantly, they let go of each other and, at Brady’s continued glare, put a foot or so of space between them.
They read through the program so they’d be aware of the order and pinned their numbers on their shirts. Halfway through Brady’s instructional spiel, Harlow scrunched up her forehead and studied him. Something seemed off. His words were sharper than usual, his temper shorter. Perhaps he was nervous, but then again, he didn’t strike her as the type to be easily shaken.
Cautiously, she approached him. “We trained and practiced a lot. Don’t worry. We’re good to go.”
Brady’s gaze had drifted toward the other side of the entry area, where Tanya and her group were preparing. He slowly peeled his eyes off them and blinked at Harlow. “Uh, yeah. Thanks again for all your help, and for being part of our team. Sorry about the mess with your ma. I didn’t want to tell her, but because it could put the ranch and the program at risk, I didn’t have much of a choice.”
“It’s okay. We all made our choices, and while I’d make them again no matter how much trouble it’s landed me in, I get it.”
A hint of a smile curved Brady’s lips. Then his attention drifted back to Tanya, and every ounce of happiness drained from his face. Harlow suspected something had happened between the two of them, but it wasn’t like she could just chat up Brady about it. They weren’t close like that, and it would be awkward to discuss relationship stuff with an adult anyway.
Except maybe Jessica or Liza. Harlow wouldn’t mind giving or receiving advice from them—possibly because they were women and that made it easier.