by Alexa Land
Alastair wrapped his legs around me and touched my hair, my face, my neck as the rain ran down both of us. After a few moments, he whispered in my ear, “Are you really here? I’m so afraid I’ve fallen asleep at my desk and this is just a dream.”
“I am, Allie. I just had to see you.”
He clung to me as his body trembled in my arms. “Thank God you followed me. I’ve been lost without you, Sawyer.”
“I’ve been lost without you, too. Utterly, completely lost. Please don’t send me away.”
“I would never do that.”
“Your family never has to find out,” I said as I held him and buried my face in his wet hair. “Whenever you can get away, I’ll be here for you. I know you were worried about treating me the same way Tracy did, but this isn’t the same thing. Not at all. This is my choice. I need to be close to you. I know you won’t have much time, but even if it’s just a stolen moment here and there, at least it’ll be something.”
He whispered. “I wish I could give you more.”
“I know, but it’ll get better. Eventually, you won’t be working such long hours, and we’ll have a little more time. I know that’ll probably be months from now, but you’re absolutely worth waiting for.”
He leaned back and studied my face in the glow of a streetlamp. The rain ran down his cheeks and dripped from his hair and from the ends of his long lashes. “We’ll figure this out,” he said as he ran his fingertips along my jaw.
When I felt him tremble again, I put him down, then took off my jacket and draped it over his shoulders. The rain immediately soaked into my black T-shirt. When he took my hand and began to lead me to the main entrance of his office building, I said, “I know it’s late, but what if this gets back to your family?”
“It won’t. It’s just me and the guard at the front desk, and Kenneth won’t say anything.”
“How can you be sure?”
“Because he’s a good man.” He glanced and me and said, somewhat embarrassedly, “I also sign his paychecks now, so he’s going to do as I ask.”
He didn’t hold my hand as we crossed the ornate, marble lobby. Alastair paused at the dark wood front desk and told the security guard, “Kenneth, this is my friend Sawyer. He’ll be visiting me occasionally when I’m working late. This should go without saying, but my friends are none of my family’s business.”
Kenneth was a man of about sixty, with a shaved head and a stern demeanor. It was a pleasant surprise when he smiled and said, with a thick cockney accent, “Mum’s the word, Mr. Penelegion.”
“Thank you, Kenneth, though I know I’ve asked you to call me Alastair on more than one occasion.”
“You’ve asked me four times, Mr. Penelegion. As I’ve explained each time, a man in your position deserves respect, and that’s what I’m gonna give ya.”
“It’s not disrespectful to call me Alastair.”
“That’s not how I was brought up, Mr. Penelegion.”
Alastair grinned and said, “Be prepared to have this discussion again.”
“I look forward to it, sir. Oh, and thanks again for supper tonight. That place does a right proper curry.”
“You’re welcome. I think I’m going to order from there tomorrow night, too. Will you be working?”
The man shook his head. “Mondays and Tuesdays are me nights off. If you’re of a mind to order curry on Wednesday, I’d be inclined to tell the missus to skip the sack lunch. She’s the only woman alive who can cock up a cheese sarnie, bless ‘er ‘art.”
Alastair smiled at him and said, “It’s a date,” before heading to the elevator and punching the call button. The door slid open immediately, and as we rode to the top floor, he took my hand and told me, “I’m going to get him to call me Alastair if it kills me.”
“It’s nice that you bought him dinner.”
“It’s usually around midnight by the time I realize I haven’t eaten, and he and I are the only ones here. It’s only right to order something for him as well. He was a bit thrown off when I did it the first time, especially because I then proceeded to sit behind the desk with him while we ate, but I figured we could both use the company. I think he’s gradually learning to accept the fact that I intend to run this company very differently than my father. Step one: getting to know all my employees on a first-name basis, beginning with the ones in this building. After that, I’ll start learning the names of everyone at the department store and go from there.”
“I’m surprised you have time for that.”
“Oh, I don’t, but I’m doing it anyway. Penelegion Enterprises is more than just columns of numbers, despite what my uncle’s been trying to drill into my head all week. It’s about people, many of whom have dedicated their lives to this company. Take Kenneth, for example. He’s been working here forty-two years. I asked why he was still on the night shift after all that time, and he says he prefers it, because it’s quiet. He admitted to me yesterday that he uses the downtime to write. Isn’t that fabulous? He’s been working on this epic, Tolkienian tome for more than a decade. He even let me read a bit of it.”
“How was it?”
Alastair smiled at me as we arrived on the fourth floor and said, “Completely filthy! Imagine The Hobbit, but with everyone shagging for maybe seventy percent of it. To his credit though, it’s fairly well-written.”
I chuckled at that as we entered his office and said, “I’m sorry to say I am, in fact, imagining that.” He closed and locked the door behind us, and I asked, “Are you sure I should be in here? What if your uncle or another of your relatives decides to come in late?”
“No chance. My father was the only one who ever burned the midnight oil.”
“Was this his office?” The large room was decorated with dark wood paneling, stiff-looking leather-upholstered furniture, and a lot of framed photos of people and buildings that seemed to span the last century.
“It was. I think my mother gave it to me to further discourage my father from trying to return to work.”
“They’re all so concerned about his well-being,” I said as he led me through to a large bathroom, “but at the same time, they don’t seem to have any qualms about piling the same crushing workload on your shoulders.” I looked around as he handed me a towel and said, “I assume this bathroom has a shower because whoever has this office is expected to spend most of his life here.”
He handed me a towel and said, “I’m not going to let this job wreck my health the way my father did. Right now, I have a steep learning curve to get up to speed. That means long hours, but I won’t keep working twenty-hour days forever. They’ve already delegated most of my father’s workload to other executives. Not like they’re dumb enough to trust me with anything important at this point. It’s just a question of learning the ropes.”
“I don’t think anyone can handle twenty-hour days! It’s not like people your age are immune to the effects of long-term sleep deprivation.”
“I don’t have a choice. Not right now. It was stupid and selfish of me to go away to university. I should have begun interning here right after secondary school, so I’d have a better handle on the way this business operates. Since I chose to run off and do as I pleased, I’m now paying the price. As I said though, it’s just for a few months, while I learn the business.”
My voice rose, despite myself. “And then what? You’ll drop back to nice, relaxing eighteen-hour days?”
“I don’t know. If that’s what it takes, then—”
“Shit!”
He crossed his arms over his chest and asked, “Why are you angry?”
“Why? Because I care about you, Alastair!”
“I know, but—”
“But nothing! How did you feel all those years, watching your dad work himself to death? Because that’s how I feel, watching you do the same thing. And I can see the writing on the wall! After you finish this training period, you’re not going to drop back to a normal workweek. Your father never did, so why would you?
I know what this company means to you. I remember you telling me what it represents to your entire family and to the tens of thousands of people who rely on it for their income. But this job almost killed your dad. Are you going to let it do the same to you?”
“What would you have me do? Say, ‘sorry everyone, but I’m more important than the lot of you,’ and walk away? That is not an option, Sawyer!”
“You don’t have to walk away, but you do have to figure this shit out! There has to be a way to do this job without letting it destroy you!”
“Don’t you think I’d love to figure out how to do this job differently? My goal isn’t to be a martyr and sacrifice my life for this company, or even for my family! That said, it’s hardly destroying me!”
“You look like you’re down at least ten pounds, Alastair, ten pounds in a matter of days, and you didn’t have it to lose in the first place. On top of that, you’re physically and mentally exhausted! Am I supposed to just sit back and watch while you try to find your breaking point?”
He stared at me for a long moment, and then he asked, “Did you come all this way just to lecture me?”
“Of course not!” I forced myself to lower my voice, and said, “I’m here because I care about you, Alastair, and I didn’t mean to lecture. It’s a terrible time to try to have this conversation, because we’re both exhausted. But I’m worried about you, and I hate feeling useless and unable to do anything to help. This is just making it worse though, and putting even more pressure on you, and I’m so damn sorry.”
He closed the distance between us and took my hand as he looked into my eyes. “You help me so much more than you realize. Being able to call and hear your voice is what got me through this last week. And now you’re here! I’m so grateful that you came all this way for me.”
“One of the first things you ever said to me was, ‘If you want me, you have to come and get me.’ I want you, Alastair. More than anything.” I drew him into my arms and kissed his hair. He was cool to the touch, and shaking a little. “Shit, you’re freezing. Do you have something you can change into?” He nodded and I said, “Get in the shower, and I’ll bring you some dry clothes.”
“Join me.”
We got undressed and held each other as we stood under the steady stream of hot water. When he relaxed in my arms, it felt like a personal accomplishment. After the shower, Alastair turned up the heater, and instead of getting dressed, we curled up together in a nest of blankets on the couch in his office. I pulled a thick duvet up to his ears and kissed his forehead as he snuggled against me. “I’m so glad you’re here,” he said. “This is the best I’ve felt all week.”
I held him close and whispered, “Me, too.”
Chapter Fourteen
“Ello, Bonny.”
I started a little, then put aside my newspaper and squinted at Roger over the top of my sunglasses. He dropped into the seat across from mine and scanned the headlines of the sports section as I said, “Hey. How’d you know I’d be here?”
“Simple matter of deduction. Gromit told me your address, and also that you’d left his office at about five this morning. I figured you’d sleep for a few hours, then immediately gravitate to the nearest pretentious coffee shop for a fancy cappuccino.”
“You’re almost right. I ran an errand first, and it’s actually a latte,” I said, raising my cup. “You should have called me. I would have met you wherever you wanted and saved you a trip to Southwark.” When he chuckled, I asked, “What?”
He mimicked my American accent and repeated, “South-wark. That’s hilarious.”
“Isn’t that how you say it?” He shook his head, still looking highly amused. “How else would you pronounce that?” Roger slurred something so quickly that I muttered, “Huh?” He repeated himself more slowly, exaggerating the pronunciation. It sounded a bit like ‘Suv-urk’, but even more fucked up. I exclaimed, “Oh, come on! How could you possibly get that out of South w-a-r-k?”
Roger shrugged and said, “That’s just the way it is.”
“I wonder what else I’ve been mispronouncing.”
“Pretty much every word that comes out of your mouth.”
Roger grinned at me, and I asked, “So, are you here as my cultural liaison? Because that’s going to be a full-time job. And speaking of jobs, what are you doing with yourself now that Alastair has stopped doing things like going outside, or ever actually leaving his desk?”
“For starters, Gromit made me the head of security for Penelegion Enterprises’ executive offices, so I’m auditing the existing alarm system and doing background checks on all personnel.”
“Out of curiosity, did you do a background check on me when he and I started going out?”
“Of course.”
I raised an eyebrow at that. “Seriously?”
“It’s my job to look out for Alastair. Do you think I’d let someone get close to him without thoroughly investigating them?”
“How thoroughly?”
“Well, let’s see. Your middle name is Eugene, you’re allergic to penicillin, and you had a dog when you were seven, but you were told he ran away after six months, and you never saw him again.”
“Jesus, that’s creepy. Wait, what do you mean, ‘I was told?’ Are you saying my dog didn’t run away?”
“Your step-mum at the time didn’t like the mutt, so she took him to the pound and told you he ran off.”
“And you know that how?”
“Public records.”
“Why would animal shelter records be public?”
“They’re not, but news stories are.”
“My dog was in the news?”
“He was adopted by another family and went on to save a child from drowning. Your step-mum tried to get him back after that, possibly because the dog’s owners were given a sizeable reward. That’s what made it into the local paper. She was a piece of work, that one. Incidentally, her real name was Martha, not May like she told you and your dad.”
“Oh, come on.” I stared at Roger for a few moments, trying to decide if he was pulling my leg. “What else are you going to tell me, that there’s no Easter Bunny? Because Willie Garmin beat you to that one in the second grade.”
“There’s no tooth fairy, either.”
“There’s no way that story about the dog is true. He was an idiot who used to bark at his own tail.”
“Turns out, he also barked at drowning kids, so loud that it drew a neighbor’s attention. She hopped the fence and saved the unbuoyant moppet, right in the nick of time.”
“Did you track me down just to tell me some tall tales about a moronic dog I owned when I was seven?”
“Nah. That was just a bonus.” Roger leaned back in his chair and grinned at me. A moment later, a barista came out of the shop, looked around the patio, and brought Roger a coffee and a scone in a white paper bag. My companion smiled at him and said, “Cheers mate, thanks a lot.”
The guy called, “No worries, Roger,” as he went back inside .
“Wait, they know you here? You just called this place pretentious.”
“I was having you on. Me mum lives just down the road, and I pop in here whenever I visit her. She’s a love, but her idea of a decent cuppa is four heaping spoonfuls of Sanka and a splash from the kettle. You practically have to chew it, and you don’t even get a jolt of caffeine for your trouble.”
“Is it my imagination, or has your accent actually gotten thicker since you’ve been back in the UK?”
“Has it?”
“Pretty much. So, back to what we were saying. Why’d you track me down? Is it to warn me to be discreet around Alastair’s family? Because I actually know that. It’s why I snuck out of the office this morning at the ass-crack of dawn. And no, I’m not going to make a habit of playing dodge-the-relatives at Penelegion central. Until Alastair gets his own apartment, he’s going to visit me whenever he can here in…Suffolk? It’s way off his family’s radar.”
“Suvurk.”
“How is what I’m saying different from what you’re saying?”
“You’re going to do fantastic here in London, mate.”
I swung my hand in a rotating motion and said, “So, the actual reason you’re here, besides dog tales, discretion warnings and mocking my accent, is….”
“Two reasons. First, I’m checking to make sure all’s well with you. Gromit has enough to worry about these days without also needing to look after you.”
“I’m actually perfectly capable of looking after myself, but thanks for making me sound like a—”
“Lost puppy?”
He grinned again before taking a sip of coffee, and I asked, “What’s the second reason?”
Roger returned his cup to the tabletop and studied me for a few moments before saying, “I debated whether or not to tell you this. Finally, I decided I should just make the information available, and you can do with it as you see fit.”
“Um, okay. What is it?”
“While researching you, I also dug up information on your ex-boyfriend.”
I knit my brows and asked, “Why would you bother?”
“I needed to know if there was unfinished business between the two of you, which could affect Alastair.”
“You’re very thorough.”
“Alastair’s more than just a job,” he said. “I care about him.”
“I know, and I’m glad he has you to look out for him.”
He took another sip of coffee before saying, “In that case, maybe you won’t mind telling me if there’s any hostility between you and Garcia. Any grudges? Did you leave it on bad terms? Might he be jealous if he got wind of your relationship with Alastair?”
“No, none of that. Why are you asking?”
“Because he’s stationed less than four miles from here.”
“He’s…wait, what?”
“He got promoted to a liaison position here in London. At least, I think it’s a promotion. His job basically involves arse-kissing and playing nice with the higher-ups. Sounds a bit crap if you ask me.”