by Dawn, Maira
A few days after the trial, she fell asleep in the early morning hours and managed to stay that way despite the stirring of the rest of the household.
Around noon, Skye jerked awake in the thick of wild imaginings. The sudden movement caused her still unhealed bruises to ache, and she groaned.
Looking around, she jumped again when she found Kelsey curled up in a chair across from her, a book in hand. “Kelsey?"
"Oh, hi," Kelsey said, her tone as soft as usual. “I didn't know— No one said not to come."
Skye tilted her head. "Is it your appointment time already? I'm sorry, I lost track.”
Kelsey scrabbled up off the chair. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come. You still don't feel well."
"No, no.” Skye waved her back. “I’m doing better. Maybe, since your here, you could help me out. Sue Ellen is always anywhere but here, and it looks like the guys have all deserted me. I'm tired of just laying here. Would you like to help me make some muffins?"
Kelsey brightened. "Sure."
Skye carefully maneuvered herself off the couch and into the kitchen, Kelsey trailing along behind her.
"You’re having nightmares," Kelsey said.
"Yes, I am." There was no sense hiding in it from the girl, she'd had her own share of them. "Dealing with those three men still has me on edge, even though it's over. They were just so evil."
Kelsey pressed her lips together and nodded.
“It’s not like evil people are a surprise. Even before, helping people the way I do, I know. Some who do bad things are confused or sick or in a bad situation. But there are others with a thin mask of humanity hiding their true thoughts. With the way the world has changed, it's as if that mask has been ripped away, and they have permission to act as they wish. We have to be so careful now.”
“I know,” Kelsey said, her voice so low Skye barely heard her.
Skye reached for the girl, pulling her close for a hug. “I hope it won’t stay that way. That Tom’s right and there is still some kind of government struggling to make it through this. But I don’t know.”
They stood there for a moment, soaking in the comfort of one another. Then, before Skye could stop the words, she murmured, "I feel guilty."
"Me too."
Both whispered. As if neither could say aloud the feelings that haunted them.
Skye pulled back and looked at Kelsey, her hands still on the girl’s shoulders. "Why do you feel guilty?"
Tears filled Kelsey's eyes. She opened her mouth twice before she could speak. When she did, her voice broke on the words. "Because I think I brought the sickness into my family's house. I wanted to go out with my friends so bad, and I didn’t think about what could happen. It's my fault they died.” Her body quaked with sorrow.
Skye pulled Kelsey back into her arms. "Oh, honey! The sickness was going to do whatever it was going to do. The same with the bad man who killed your father. You had no control over any of it."
In soothing Kelsey, Skye comforted herself. Yes, Calvin, Tony, and Pete had been left alive that day, but what they did after that was of their own making. She couldn't assume all the guilt for their actions. She closed her eyes and let the guilt roll away from her.
Kelsey looked at Skye. "Do you think so?"
Skye nodded and smoothed the girl's hair back as she smiled at her. "I do. I guess it will just take some time for us to get over it."
By the time Wade, Dylan, and Jesse tromped back into the house, Skye and Kelsey were curled up on the living room furniture enjoying muffins and smiling.
The three stopped and took in a deep breath. “Smells mighty good in here,” Wade said. “I’m gonna want you to come over every day, little girl, if this is what happens when you’re here.”
Kelsey giggled.
Jesse made his way over to where Kelsey sat. "Hey," he said, shifting his feet.
"You want a muffin? I'll get you one."
"Yeah," Jesse said, following Kelsey into the kitchen.
Kelsey chose a muffin, plated it, and handed it to the boy. He took a huge bite off the top. “It’s delicious! You sure do know your way around the kitchen.”
Kelsey rolled her eyes and laughed. The two pulled out chairs and sat at the table, soon in deep conversation.
"Told ya the boy was sweet on her,” Dylan murmured.
"That's my boy!" Wade said, causing them all to stifle their laughter.
“A little crush is fine, but they’re too young for anything else,” Skye insisted.
When Kelsey stood to leave, she said cheerily said goodbye to Jesse and Wade, then gave Skye a hug. She dragged her feet as she passed by Dylan, looking up at him with huge brown eyes. She mumbled a quick “Goodbye” and sped out the door.
Once the door shut behind her, Dylan asked, "Why is it that girl looks like a scared little rabbit whenever she's near me? Am I lookin' that much worse than him?" He pointed at Wade.
"Say more'n two words to the girl, and she might warm up to ya," Wade said. "Course I do have a charming personality, much better than the sour one you got."
"Oh now, Wade," Skye said. "Some of us like sour personalities. I, for one, love them." She pulled Dylan toward her and kissed him several times on the cheek.
"Stop it, woman! Dang, if I would've known I was gonna start this." Dylan rubbed a hand across his stubbled chin and his dark, shaggy hair. "I guess I could clean up a bit."
"Don't you dare!" Skye said, waving her hand over him. "This keeps the bad guys away. Don't change it one bit. She'll get used to it, I did."
"I took some gettin' used to, did I?" Dylan laughed. "Okay, no cleaning up then.” He propped his feet on the coffee table.
"A shower, mountain man of my dreams, from time to time wouldn't be a bad thing."
"I'll have you know, I take a shower at least once a month."
"Ugh! If that were true, I wouldn't let you anywhere near me!"
"Or is it once a week, or once a day?”
"Well, that reminds me of what I gotta do," Wade said as he headed toward the bathroom. "It's been about a week for me."
"Please tell me that isn't true," Skye said with a roll of her eyes.
When Wade just flashed them a big grin, they all yelled, "Wade!"
20
Barbarton
Dylan looked over the morning’s catch as he, Wade, and Jesse walked through the woods back to the cabin. They had a decent haul. The traps had been over half-full, and they’d downed a couple of turkeys on the way. They’d have enough for themselves and to share.
Jesse’s stomach gave a loud growl. Dylan chuckled. The boy ate nonstop. He’d come to them skinny, almost delicate-looking, and was now sturdy and healthy. It gave Dylan a lot of satisfaction that he’d had a hand in that.
Jesse looked up at him and laughed. “I’m hungry!”
“Yeah, I’m feelin’ it too.” Dylan rubbed his stomach over his thick, blue flannel shirt. “I need me some eggs, sausage, biscuits, and gravy.”
“You two are killin’ me! Will you just stop?” Wade said, before he gave in and added pancakes to the list.
After settling their haul in the shed, they tumbled through the cabin door along with a cold blast of air.
Skye sat on the couch, wrapped in an afghan and nursing a steaming cup of coffee.
“Get up, woman!” Wade said, initiating their morning routine of playful banter. “You have three starvin’ men on your hands.”
Skye rolled her eyes as she laughed. “Good thing you all know how to cook!”
Nevertheless, Skye got up and started pulling ingredients out of the refrigerator.
Dylan gave her a wink and quickly washed up. Then he walked to the cupboards, getting a few things from them.
Wade disappeared into the bathroom for a few minutes before pulling the pans out and slapping some sausage on the skillet. “Sure glad the Wilson clan shared that pig with us. They sure do know how to put some sausage together.”
Dylan pulled in a whiff. “Gotta agree th
ere.”
“Where’s the girl?” Wade asked, and Skye tipped her head toward her room.
Dylan frowned. Sue Ellen may live here, but you wouldn’t know it by how often they saw her. Skye said she’d settle in. But he couldn’t see any sign of it.
“Sue Ellen!” Wade’s voice, which was rarely quiet, now boomed through the house. “Get your hinny out here!”
A faint groan came from her room. The girl slept later and later every day.
“Don’t make me drag you out here!”
A pronounced groan, then some stirring. Finally, Sue Ellen stumbled to the door of her room and leaned on the doorjamb. She rubbed her eye with one curled hand while shoving a tumbled mass of curls out of her face with the other. “You’re mean,” she mumbled. Her standard morning greeting to anyone who woke her up.
“Yep, I sure am. Mean enough to want you to get your share of breakfast. Now do what you need to do to get in here.”
Dylan eyed the girl as she pouted and scuffed her feet to the bathroom. She wasn’t even trying to be part of the family. It was like she was pushing all boundaries with them.
Just yesterday, he’d had to put an end to her lip with a few stern words. She argued with Skye over every little thing and scowled at him. Jesse, who was always happy to see her, seemed like an afterthought for her. She got along best with Wade. For now, it seemed fine. His brother’s stern side allowed no slacking or no serious mouthing off, and his playful side seemed to be able to coax her even in her worst moods.
Once the morning meal was over, Wade headed out the shed to take care of a few things. And Jesse and Sue Ellen headed over to the Doc’s for some more medical lessons with the other kids from the community.
Skye poured herself another cup of coffee and caught Dylan’s hand. She gave it a slight tug as she moved to the couch. Settling in, she leaned against him as he wrapped his arm around her. Dylan felt the warm light glow that he always felt around her deepen.
He loved this woman, her strengths and weaknesses. One of his favorite times of the day was when she rested against him as if absorbing some of his physical strength to help her through the day. If that were possible, he would have gladly given it to her. He would give her anything.
Dylan tipped her head back and lightly kissed her lips. Then he gently traced the bluish skin below her eyes with his calloused thumb. “You’re still tired.”
Skye shrugged and smiled. “As you know, morning and I have never really gotten along, even on a good day. Sue Ellen and I do have that in common.”
“You didn’t sleep well again.”
Skye wiggled her chin off his hand and kissed it before snuggling her head on his shoulder. “I know it’s not my fault, but my mind keeps going back to them.”
Dylan knew exactly who she meant. The people of Barbarton. He could tell it weighed on her.
It weighed on him. If he’d just ignored her and taken care of those three, his own family and the townsfolk of Barbarton would’ve been better off.
But he hadn’t.
And he couldn’t take that on himself any more than… Dylan pushed the old guilt away as he had done so many other times. He had enough that truly laid at his door, he didn’t need to pile on what wasn’t really his. But regardless of what his brain said, his heart disagreed, and his mind took him back.
21
Storm
Dylan’s gaze roamed the cabin, recalling the mess it'd been the first time he and Wade had laid eyes on it.
A storm had been the beginning of it all. A massive thunderstorm with tornado warnings started his father drinking even heavier than usual. Both the warnings and the drinking continued without letup. It was the first time Dylan had realized the man was afraid of storms.
Dylan startled when his deep voice broke the quiet of the room. He hadn't intended to speak out loud. He had, in fact, never talked about his scars, not with her.
It was one thing for her to see them, another to talk about them.
She’d never asked. He knew now she was waiting for him, allowing him the time he needed. Dylan kissed the top of her head in appreciation. She needed to know. She deserved that.
The words tumbled out. Slow at first, then gathering force.
To his surprise, as the words came, he became lighter somehow, as if at least some of the horror was leaving him. He and Wade had held these stories for a long while, and it was time to let them go.
Skye’s arms tightened around him, giving him the strength he needed.
Dylan cleared his throat and continued, “He’d already bashed us both a few times. Wade’s nose was bleeding, and my head was spinning from a backhand he’d given me. The two of us weren’t so big then, just a couple of scrawny, underfed boys. He easily got us under control when he wanted.
“It was when Dad came after us with a knife that we ran. But not before he got a couple of good jabs at me.
“We had no choice but to disappear into the storm that night. The wind was fierce, howling like a pack of wolves readyin’ for the hunt. We couldn’t even hear each other when we shouted.
“It was so black. Only when the lightning flashed could we see, just for a moment.
“I remember slamming against one tree then the next, gripping them as the heavens opened and water streamed down between the cracks in the bark. My fingers went numb. I’d catch my breath before movin’ to the next tree.”
He shuddered, and Skye rubbed a hand along his back. “We didn’t know where we were goin’, but we got into this pattern. Lightning strike, run and wait for the next one. I ain’t sure how long we did that. It seemed like forever.
“And we kept peekin’ over our shoulders, waiting to see him in the next flash of light.
“We headed to the only place we ever felt safe, the deep woods. I reckoned the further in we got, the less we’d feel the storm. And I knew those trees like the back of my hand.
“But in that storm, I lost my way. We wandered for a while and found our way up over a little ridge. The next time the lightning struck, it lit up this little shack nestled in the trees. We raced for it.
“It had half a roof then, no door, a good third of the plank was missing, but it was enough. We huddled here through the night. I remember bird song waking me up.
"It was a bright, sunny morning. Everything seemed clean and new. Then I moved. I was so bruised up, I could hardly find a patch of normal skin. Then there were the knife cuts. And Wade's face was so swelled, he couldn't see but out one eye.”
Dylan lowered his head. “We said we’d never go home. Never see him again. But that was just a boy’s dream. By morning, I was still bleeding, and Wade couldn’t get it to stop. So we went back.
“Dad wasn’t there, and to this day, I’m not sure where he was. I don’t know if he left of his own accord or if mom told him to go, though that would’ve surprised me. Mom must’ve seen us comin’ ‘cause we weren’t even to the door yet, and she came running. It was the only time I ever remember her hugging me.” Dylan’s voice cracked.
“She brought us inside and stitched me up. She must of said she was sorry a hundred times. She held my face in her hands as she cried and said, “He’s gonna kill you. When he’s bad off, it’s all he thinks about.
“It was me he went after the most, on account I wasn’t really his and all. And I knew it in my gut when she said it. I knew I had to get out of there if I wanted to make it to manhood.
“So after we healed up some, we came back here and started workin’ on this place, stayed here when Dad got too bad. Fixin’ it up took a while. The neighbors didn’t warm to having a couple of Cole kids loose in their neighborhood.”
Dylan snorted. “And after we realized we could ask for supplies instead of stealin' them, things went better. We started swapping for things. We learned how regular people work together." Dylan waved his hand in a circle. "These people around here, they taught us. I’m not sayin’ we turned into angels. The townsfolk sure never did take to us. But we got the edges k
nocked off enough that the mountain folk could stand the Cole brothers.”
When he turned to Skye, she lightly kissed him. “This townsfolk cares for you.”
Over his shirt, Skye traced the scars that came from that night. “What you’ve been through is terrible, Dylan. It’s a tribute to your strength and character you’ve turned into the man you are. You must love this place. It was your sanctuary in a greater sense than most people’s homes.”
"I do." Dylan nodded. “But I hate it too.”
Skye gave him a puzzled look.
“It was a sanctuary,” he said. “But it was also something else.” Every muscle he had tensed with the memory.
Skye raised a hand to his cheek and stroked it. “What is it?”
He pulled away from her, moving to the edge of the couch. “Get on a coat. We’re going to the overlook.”
“The overlook?”
“I said, get your coat.” Dylan's frown deepened as he heard his rough voice. He hadn't meant to sound like that, but it was beyond his control.
He felt like he was on the edge of something. An uneven rushing started in his ears. One he'd only heard a few other times in his life.
He felt the pull. The draw to go to the place he mourned.
Skye stepped beside him, ready to go. He grabbed her wrist a little too hard. When she winced, he loosened his hold and slid his hand down into hers.
When she opened her mouth to say something, he stopped her. “Not now. Not yet.”
She nodded and hurried to keep up with his longer stride, as they went out the door and up the trail.
He needed to gather all his courage for the story he had yet to tell. Because after that, Skye might pack her bags and leave him.
22
The Overlook
The air was crisp. A bit of snow lingered in the shadows of the craggy rocks they passed. It was quiet, and still, no bird calls or chipmunk scurries from the overhanging branches. Dylan wondered if the animals felt his tension. He felt tighter than a bowstring.