by Petronius
[XVIII] Secundum hanc deprecationem lacrimas rursus effudit gemitibusque largis concussa tota facie ac pectore torum meum pressit. Ego eodem tempore et misericordia turbatus et metu, bonum animum habere eam iussi et de utroque esse securam: nam neque sacra quemquam vulgaturum, et si quod praeterea aliud remedium ad tertianam deus illi monstrasset, adiuvaturos nos divinam providentiam vel periculo nostro. Hilarior post hanc pollicitationem facta mulier basiavit me spissius, et ex lacrimis in risum mota descendentes ab aure capillos meos lenta manu duxit et: “Facio, inquit, indutias vobiscum, et a constituta lite dimitto. Quod si non adnuissetis de hac medicina quam peto, iam parata erat in crastinum turba, quae et iniuriam meam vindicaret et dignitatem:
Contemni turpe est, legem donare superbum;
hoc amo, quod possum qua libet ire via.
Nam sane et sapiens contemptus iurgia nectit,
et qui non iugulat, victor abire solet.
Complosis deinde manibus in tantum repente risum effusa est, ut timeremus. Idem ex altera parte et ancilla fecit, quae prior venerat, idem virguncula, quae una intraverat.
[18] She finished her prayer, and again cried bitterly, and buried her face and bosom in my bed, shaken all over with deep sobs. I was distracted with pity and terror together. I reassured her, telling her not to trouble herself about either point. No one would betray her devotions, and we would risk our lives to assist the will of Heaven, if the gods had showed her any further cure for her tertian ague. At this promise the woman grew more cheerful, kissed me again and again and gently stroked the long hair that fell about my ears, having passed from crying to laughter. “I will sign a peace with you,” she said, “and withdraw the suit I have entered against you. But if you had not promised me the cure I want, there was a whole regiment ready for tomorrow to wipe out my wrongs and uphold my honour:
“To be flouted is disgraceful, but to impose terms is glorious: I rejoice that I can follow what course I please. For surely even a wise man will take up a quarrel when he is flouted, while the man who sheds no blood commonly comes off victorious.” . . .
Then she clapped her hands and suddenly burst out laughing so loud that we were frightened. The maid who had come in first did the same on one side of us, and also the little girl who had come in with Quartilla.
[XIX] Omnia mimico risu exsonuerant, cum interim nos quae tam repentina esset mutatio animorum facta ignoraremus, ac modo nosmetipsos, modo mulieres intueremur. <. . .>
“Ideo vetui hodie in hoc deversorio quemquam mortalium admitti, ut remedium tertianae sine ulla interpellatione a vobis acciperem.” Vt haec dixit Quartilla, Ascyltos quidem paulisper obstupuit, ego autem frigidior hieme Gallica factus nullum potui verbum emittere. Sed ne quid tristius expectarem, comitatus faciebat. Tres enim erant mulierculae, si quid vellent conari, infirmissimae, scilicet contra nos,
[19] The whole place rang with farcical laughter, while we kept looking first at each other and then at the women, not understanding how they could have changed their tune so quickly. . . .
“I forbade any mortal man to enter this inn to-day, just so that I might get you to cure me of my tertian ague without interruptions.” When Quartilla said this, Ascyltos was struck dumb for a moment, while I turned colder than a Swiss winter, and could not utter a syllable. But the presence of my friends saved me from my worst fears. They were three weak women, if they wanted to make any attack on us. We had at least our manhood in our favour, if nothing else. And certainly our dress was more fit for action. Indeed I had already matched our forces in pairs. If it came to a real fight, I was to face Quartilla, Ascyltos her maid, Giton the girl. . .
But then all our resolution yielded to astonishment, and the darkness of certain death began to fall on our unhappy eyes. . . .
[XX] “Rogo, inquam, domina, si quid tristius paras, celerius confice: neque enim tam magnum facinus admisimus, ut debeamus torti perire.” Ancilla, quae Psyche vocabatur, lodiculam in pavimento diligenter extendit. Sollicitavit inguina mea mille iam mortibus frigida. Operuerat Ascyltos pallio caput, admonitus scilicet periculosum esse alienis intervenire secretis. Duas institas ancilla protulit de sinu alteraque pedes nostros alligavit, altera manus. <. . .>
Ascyltos, iam deficiente fabularum contextu: “Quid? Ego, inquit, non sum dignus qui bibam?” Ancilla risu meo prodita complosit manus et: “Apposui: quidem adulescens, solus tantum medicamentum ebibisti? — Itane est? inquit Quartilla, quicquid saturei fuit, Encolpius ebibit?” Non indecenti risu latera commovit. Ac ne Giton quidem ultimo risum tenuit, utique postquam virguncula cervicem eius invasit et non repugnanti puero innumerabilia oscula dedit.
[20] “If you have anything worse in store, madam,” I said, “be quick with it. We are not such desperate criminals that we deserve to die by torture.”. . .
The maid, whose name was Psyche, carefully spread a blanket on the floor. Sollicitavit inguina mea mille iam mortibus frigida. . . Ascyltos had buried his head in his cloak. I suppose he had warning that it is dangerous to pry into other people’s secrets. . . .
The maid brought two straps out of her dress and tied our feet with one and our hands with the other. . . .
The thread of our talk was broken. “Come,” said Ascyltos, “do not I deserve a drink?” The maid was given away by my laughter at this. She clapped her hands and said, “I put one by you, young man. Did you drink the whole of the medicine yourself?” “Did he really?” said Quartilla, “did Encolpius drink up the whole of our loving-cup?” Her sides shook with delightful laughter. . . . Even Giton had to laugh at last, I mean when the little girl took him by the neck and showered countless kisses on his unresisting lips. . . .
SECTIONS XXI TO XXX.
[XXI] Volebamus miseri exclamare, sed nec in auxilio erat quisquam, et hinc Psyche acu comatoria cupienti mihi invocare Quiritum fidem malas pungebat, illinc puella penicillo, quod et ipsum satureo tinxerat, Ascylton opprimebat. <. . .>
Vltimo cinaedus supervenit myrtea subornatus gausapa cinguloque succinctus . . . modo extortis nos clunibus cecidit, modo basiis olidissimis inquinavit, donec Quartilla, ballaenaceam tenens virgam alteque succincta, iussit infelicibus dari missionem. <. . .>
Vterque nostrum religiosissimis iuravit verbis inter duos periturum esse tam horribile secretum. Intraverunt palaestritae quamplures et nos legitimo perfusos oleo refecerunt. Vtcunque ergo lassitudine abiecta cenatoria repetimus et in proximam cellam ducti sumus, in qua tres lecti strati erant et reliquus lautitiarum apparatus splendidissime eitus. Iussi ergo discubuimus, et gustatione mirifica initiati vino etiam Falerno inundamur. Excepti etiam pluribus ferculis cum laberemur in somnum: “Itane est? inquit Quartilla, etiam dormire vobis in mente est, cum sciatis Priapi genio pervigilium deberi?” <. . .>
[21] We wanted to cry out for pain, but there was no one to come to the rescue, and when I tried to cry”Help, all honest citizens!” Psyche pricked my cheek with a hair-pin, while the girl threatened Ascyltos with a wet sponge which she had soaked in an aphrodisiac. . . .
At last there arrived a low fellow in a fine brown suit with a waistband . . . .
Modo extortis nos clunibus cecidit, modo basis olidissimis inquinavit, donec Quartilla balaenaceam tenens virgam alteque succincta iussit infelicibus dari missionem . . . .
We both of us took a solemn oath that the dreadful secret should die with us. . . .
A number of attendants came in, rubbed us down With pure oil, and refreshed us. Our fatigue vanished, we put on evening dress again, and were shown into the next room, where three couches were laid and a whole rich dinner-service was finely spread out. We were asked to sit down, and after beginning with some wonderful hors d’oeuvres we swam in wine, and that too Falernian. We followed this with more courses, a
nd were dropping off to sleep, when Quartilla said, “Well, how can you think of going to sleep, when you know that is your duty to devote the whole night to the genius of Priapus?” . . .
[XXII] Cum Ascyltos gravatus tot malis in somnum laberetur, illa quae iniuria depulsa fuerat ancilla totam faciem eius fuligine longa perfricuit, et non sentientis labra umerosque sopitionibus pinxit.
Iam ego etiam tot malis fatigatus minimum veluti gustum hauseram somni; idem et tota intra forisque familia fecerat, atque alii circa pedes discumbentium sparsi iacebant, alii parietibus appliciti, quidam in ipso limine coniunctis manebant capitibus; lucernae quoque umore defectae tenue et extremum lumen spargebant, cum duo Syri expilaturi lagoenam triclinium intraverunt, dumque inter argentum avidius rixantur, diductam fregerunt lagoenam. Cecidit etiam mensa cum argento, et ancillae super torum marcentis excussum forte altius poculum caput
Ad quem ictum exclamavit illa, pariterque et fures prodidit et partem ebriorum excitavit. Syri illi qui venerant ad praedam, postquam deprehensos se intellexerunt, pariter secundum lectum conciderunt, ut putares hoc convenisse, et stertere tanquam olim dormientes coeperunt.
Iam et tricliniarches experrectus lucernis occidentibus oleum infuderat, et pueri detersis paulisper oculis redierant ad ministerium, cum intrans cymbalistria et concrepans aera omnes excitavit.
[22] Ascyltos was heavy-eyed with all his troubles, and was falling asleep, when the maid who had been driven away so rudely rubbed his face over with soot, and coloured his lips and his neck with vermilion while he drowsed. By this time I was tired out with adventures too, and had just taken the tiniest taste of sleep. All the servants, indoors and out, had done the same. Some lay anyhow by the feet of the guests, some leaned against the walls, some even stayed in the doorway with their heads together. The oil in the lamps had run out, and they gave a thin dying light. All at once two Syrians came in to rob the dining-room, and in quarrelling greedily over the plate pulled a large jug in two and broke it. The table fell over with the plate, and a cup which happened to fly some distance hit the head of the maid, who was lolling over a seat. The knock made her scream, and this showed up the thieves and woke some of the drunken party. The Syrians who had come to steal dropped side by side on a sofa, when they realized that they were being noticed, with the most convincing naturalness, and began to snore like old-established sleepers.
By this time the butler had got up and refilled the flickering lamps. The boys rubbed their eyes for a few minutes, and then came back to wait. Then a girl with cymbals came in, and the crash of the brass aroused everybody.
[XXIII] Refectum igitur est convivium et rursus Quartilla ad bibendum revocavit. Adiuvit hilaritatem comissantis cymbalistria.
Intrat cinaedus, homo omnium insulsissimus et plane illa domo dignus, qui ut infractis manibus congemuit, eiusmodi carmina effudit:
Huc huc convenite nunc, spatalocinaedi,
pede tendite, cursum addite, convolate planta,
femore facili, clune agili et manu procaces,
molles, veteres, Deliaci manu recisi.
Consumptis versibus suis immundissimo me basio conspuit. Mox et super lectum venit atque omni vi detexit recusantem. Super inguina mea diu multumque frustra moluit. Profluebant per frontem sudantis acaciae rivi, et inter rugas malarum tantum erat cretae, ut putares detectum parietem nimbo laborare.
[23] Our evening began afresh, and Quartilla called us back again to our cups. The girl with the cymbals gave her fresh spirits for the revel. . . .
Intrat cinaedus, homo omnium insulsissimus et plane illa domo dignus, qui ut infractis manibus congemuit, eiusmodi carmina effudit:
“Huc huc cito convenite nunc, spatalocinaedi,
Pede tendite, cursum addite, convolate planta
Femoreque facili, dune agili et manu procaces,
Molles, veteres, Deliaci manu recisi.”
Consumptis versibus suis immundissimo me basio conspuit. Mox et super lectum venit atque omni vi detexit recusantem. Super inguina mea diu multumque frustra moluit.
[XXIV] Non tenui ego diutius lacrimas, sed ad ultimam perductus tristitiam: “Quaeso, inquam, domina, certe embasicoetan iusseras dari.” Complosit illa tenerius manus et: “O, inquit, hominem acutum atque urbanitatis vernaculae fontem! Quid? Tu non intellexeras cinaedum embasicoetan vocari?” Deinde ne contubernali meo melius succederet: “Per fidem, inquam, vestram, Ascyltos in hoc triclinio solus ferias agit? — Ita, inquit Quartilla, et Ascylto embasicoetas detur”. Ab hac voce equum cinaedus mutavit, transituque ad comitem meum facto clunibus eum basiisque distrivit. Stabat inter haec Giton et risu dissolvebat ilia sua. Itaque conspicata eum Quartilla, cuius esset puer diligentissima sciscitatione quaesivit. Cum ego fratrem meum esse dixissem: “Quare ergo, inquit, me non basiavit?” vocatumque ad se in osculum adplicuit. Mox manum etiam demisit in sinum et pertractato vasculo tam rudi: “Haec, inquit, belle cras in promulside libidinis nostrae militabit; hodie enim post asellum diaria non sumo”.
[24] Profluebant per frontem sudantis acaciae rivi, et inter rugas malarum tantum erat cretae, ut putares detectum parietem nimbo laborare. Non tenui ego diutius lacrimas, sed ad ultimam, perductus tristitiam “Quaeso” inquam “domina, certe embasicoetan iusseras dari.” Complosit illa tenerius manus et “O” inquit “hominem acutum atque urbanitatis vernaculae fontem. Quid? tu non intellexeras cinaedum embasicoetan vocari?” Deinde ut contubernali meo melius succederet, “Per fidem” inquam”vestram, Ascyltos in hoc triclinio solus ferias agit?” “Ita” inquit Quartilla “et Ascylto embasicoetas detur.” Ab hac voce equum cinaedus mutavit transituque ad comitem meum facto clunibus eum basiisque distrivit. | Stabat inter haec Giton et risu dissolvebat LO ilia sua. Itaque conspicata eum Quartilla, cuius esset puer, diligentissima sciscitatione quaesivit. Cum ego fratrem meum esse dixissem, “Quare ergo” inquit “me non basiavit?” Vocatumque ad se in osculum applicuit. Mox manum etiam demisit in sinum et pertrectato vasculo tam rudi “Haec” inquit “belle cras in promulside libidinis nostrae militabit: hodie enim post asellum diaria non sumo.”
[XXV] Cum haec diceret, ad aurem eius Psyche ridens accessit et cum dixisset nescio quid: “Ita, ita, inquit Quartilla, bene admonuisti. Cur non, quia bellissima occasio est, devirginatur Pannychis nostra?” Continuoque producta est puella satis bella et quae non plus quam septem annos habere videbatur, ea ipsa quae primum cum Quartilla in cellam venerat nostram. Plaudentibus ergo universis et postulantibus nuptias, obstupui ego et nec Gitona, verecundissimum puerum, sufficere huic petulantiae adfirmavi, nec puellam eius aetatis esse, ut muliebris patientiae legem posset accipere.” Ita, inquit Quartilla, minor est ista quam ego fui, cum primum virum passa sum? Iunonem meam iratam habeam, si unquam me meminerim virginem fuisse. Nam et infans cum paribus inquinata sum, et subinde procedentibus annis maioribus me pueris adplicui, donec ad hanc aetatem perveni. Hinc etiam puto proverbium natum illud, ut dicatur posse taurum tollere, qui vitulum sustulerit.” Igitur ne maiorem iniuriam in secreto frater acciperet, consurrexi ad officium nuptiale.
[25] Cum haec diceret, ad aurem eius Psyche ridens accessit, et cum dixisset nescio quid, “Ita, ita” inquit Quartilla “bene admonuisti. Cur non, quia bellissima occasio est, devirginatur Pannychis nostra?” Continuoque producta est puella satis bella et quae non plus quam septem annos habere videbatur, [et] ea ipsa quae primum cum Quartilla in cellam venerat nostram. Plaudentibus ergo universis et postulantibus nuptias [fecerunt] obstupui ego et nec Gitona, verecundissimum puerum, sufficere huic petulantiae affirmavi, nec puellam eius aetatis esse, ut muliebris patientiae legem posset accipere. “Ita” inquit Quartilla “minor est ista quam ego fui, cum primum virum passa sum? Iunonem meam iratam habeam, si unquam me meminerim virginem fuisse. Nam et infans cum paribus inclinata sum, et subinde procedentibus annis maioribus me pueris applicui, donec ad hanc aetatem perveni. Hinc etiam puto proverbium natum illud, ut dicatur posse taurum tollere, qui vitulum sustulerit.” Igitur ne maiorem iniuriam in secreto frater acciperet, consurrexi ad officium nuptiale.
[X
XVI] Iam Psyche puellae caput involverat flammeo, iam embasicoetas praeferebat facem, iam ebriae mulieres longum agmen plaudentes fecerant, thalamumque incesta exornaverant veste. Tum Quartilla quoque iocantium libidine accensa et ipsa surrexit, correptumque Gitona in cubiculum traxit.
Sine dubio non repugnaverat puer, ac ne puella quidem tristis expaverat nuptiarum nomen. Itaque cum inclusi iacerent, consedimus ante limen thalami, et in primis Quartilla per rimam improbe diductam adplicuerat oculum curiosum, lusumque puerilem libidinosa speculabatur diligentia. Me quoque ad idem spectaculum lenta manu traxit, et quia considerantium