by Jolie Damman
But I had to tell him something. We were having breakfast, and this dining room was beautiful, but he wasn’t going to ruin the little things I was appreciating right now.
I snapped my head up and said, “You think I’m going to forget that?”
He breathed out, looking worried. “I’m not saying that. I’m only saying I feel bad. I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“And yet, you did. You think I feel okay with marrying someone like you?”
“That’s not what I’m saying.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t have said anything.”
Another moment of pause as we resumed eating the food, the sound of the cutlery and of maids taking out the empty platters filling the room.
Once we were alone again, he said, “You made me angry.”
“I don’t care.”
“I’m here to protect you, and I care about you. I’m doing the best to make your father happy.”
“You don’t know one thing about him.”
“I know he cared about you.”
I scoffed. “You should get your mind checked.”
He exhaled. “Look, I can make it up for what happened.”
I looked into his eyes, my hand holding the fork. “Oh, is that so?”
He disapproved of what I just said – I was being an ass, but to be honest, he deserved that – and said, “I will take you out. I can do that without feeling that I’m letting your father down. With me, I know you will be safe.”
“Like taking your dog for a walk.”
“It’s nothing like that.”
I studied him for a second, and then said, “Fine.”
“Fine?”
“Yeah, fine. I’m going with you. Just take me somewhere exciting.”
His lips curved up to form a tight-lipped, one-sided smile, and he said, “You won’t regret it.”
We continued to talk, though breakfast was still mostly silent. I didn’t feel like speaking with him, and I felt that, the more we spoke, the less willing he seemed to know more things about me.
And that was good. Even if he was trying to be better now, I knew better than to let him make me think he was a good man under all the pile of shit that defined his life. He was a Mafia goon, and like every single one of them – including my father – he was always one step away from hurting me.
I was glad we talked. Eduardo was somewhat bearable now, though he was still an asshole. I knew one thing I wanted from the marriage we would soon have, and that was peace. I wanted nothing more than some peace in my life.
Once we finished having breakfast, the maids now coming in to clean the dining room, he said, “I will see you at the garage.”
I nodded and walked away, my mind finally excited about something that involved this new life of mine. I was finally being let out of this place, and I was dying on the inside to see something different.
Eduardo was an asshole still, but he was a better asshole now.
Eduardo
I felt really bad about what happened. I shouldn’t have done what I did. She was going to be my wife, and I needed to be kind to her. Driving down this road with her now, all I knew was that I should do my best to make it up for her.
I was taking her to Willis Tower, the tallest building in Chicago. It was a secret to her. She didn’t know about that building, and she was going to enjoy the view from up there. She did say she wanted to be surprised, after all.
“Where are you taking me?” She questioned.
“I am not going to tell you that until it’s the right time,” I said.
Things didn’t exactly get better between us since that breakfast, and they wouldn’t any time soon. It would take a lot of time and effort to change the mind of someone like Elsa. All I knew, for the time being, was that I needed to continue being nice to her.
I turned at a corner and found it, the building. Willis Tower. It was so tall I couldn’t stop questioning myself how they built it. But they did, and the moment her eyes landed on it, she knew that was where I was going to take her.
She didn’t say anything, but I knew she was surprised.
We got out of the car and took the elevator all the way to the last floor, where we could have a privileged view of the city. There was still so much construction going on in Chicago, but the city already looked pretty mature already.
We were seeing the city and what there was beyond it, Elsa’s eyes incapable of blinking. I knew the answer to this question already, but I had to make it nonetheless, “So, do you like it?”
“Yes… it’s beautiful.”
I didn’t make another question, though I did want to tell her again I was sorry for what happened. It was never my intention to harm her or make her frightened of me.
We stayed there, just admiring the city from the last floor of the building until we grew tired of it. Upon getting back to the car, our men positioned outside in case someone tried to do anything against us, she said, “Thanks… for taking me here.”
“No problem,” I said before turning on the engine and driving back home.
Maybe she wanted to say more, but that already was a good beginning, and so, I didn’t push her. I needed to take baby steps with her. The last thing I wanted was Elsa hating me our whole life together, and I didn’t even know for how long we would have to be married.
Things were changing, and soon, I would have to learn things she was keeping hidden from me.
Chapter 7
Our Yearnings
Eduardo
It was a normal, sunny morning outside when I was walking in front of her bedroom, and my eyes caught sight of the gap of her door. She kept it partially open, and my first instinct was to go there and talk to her.
We had been going out more times, and I was growing on her. I wasn’t rude to her again ever since that night she pointed a gun at me, which was making her opinion of me change. That was good. I was getting to know her better.
I thought about knocking on the door when, through the gap, I caught sight of something else. Elsa was taking off her clothes, and on her bed I could see the new ones she would put on soon. They were pieces we bought not too long ago.
I shouldn’t be spying on her like this, but it was the first time I was seeing my future wife with only her bra and a pair of panties on. And wow, was she stunning. Her skin looked silk smooth, and it shone under the light of the sun coming through the windows.
She could turn her head at any time now and find out I was spying on her, but the thought didn’t concern me much. I knew she was a beautiful woman, but I underestimated her looks. Still, there was something in the way she did things now, moved her body, that told me she had a deep wound she would rather not tell anyone about.
That was fair. I also had a couple of things I kept hidden from everyone.
Elsa had perfect legs, and I found myself wanting to touch them right now. I wanted to slide my hand on them, feel her warmth, the smoothness of her skin, and then go all the way up to her nether, melting core.
I wanted to feel those feet, which looked as beautiful and inviting as the rest of her body. I wanted to play with her toes, making her arch her back. She would be feeling so much pleasure she wouldn’t be able to resist me.
And I felt my cock getting hard, forming a tent pole in my pants. Still, I remained where I was, eyes trained on her, refusing to blink.
Elsa’s belly and torso looked so perfect. She kept herself in shape, and her arms looked skinny and, yet, also fit. There was something in the way she moved them, moved her hands too, that exhaled someone who had no doubts about the kind of woman she was.
I looked at her eyes and found that same thing which told me she had a deep wound she would rather not talk about with anyone. She was sad. I found myself wishing she wasn’t so reserved.
Her black hair complemented the rest of her body. It went all the way down to the middle section of her back, and it looked so smooth, almost as if she didn’t have to use shampoo on it whenever she took a shower.
I was hard, but I had to get away from here, and that I did. I couldn’t let her see me spying on her. At first, I thought I didn’t care, but eventually, the possible consequences changed my mind.
As I walked away from there, I thought that, maybe, if I could make her like me, it would all be so much better.
But even though things were getting better between us, I wondered if she would ever forgive me.
Elsa
I was walking to the tennis court when I heard the sound of someone playing there. Who could it be? The place wasn’t used by many people, and I had never seen anyone playing tennis there before. Strange. My curiosity was piqued, though.
And so, I went there. Maybe I shouldn’t have done so, but in here, other than studying English, I didn’t have much to do.
I rounded a corner and found him. I found Eduardo, who was playing tennis with one of his men. They were having a lot of fun. Laughter and smiles filled the atmosphere. They seemed so different from their normal, more common selves.
I hid behind some bushes. I didn’t want them to find out I was spying on them as they played tennis. The bushes were thick and tall enough to hide most of me and so, I felt safe here.
Eduardo looked so happy I could almost think he wasn’t the bastard that almost strangled me that night. I knew better than to think he changed, but there was no denying that, what I was seeing now, was a side of him I had never witnessed before.
And there was something about him I hadn’t noticed until now as well. He wasn’t only handsome, didn’t only have a cute face that could make so many women like me drool over him, but also his body, and how muscular and… perfect he was.
He kept on striking the ball, sending it to the other man on the other side of the court. His whole body moved with a rhythm that was hard for anyone to match. He was quite good at playing tennis. Even his friend, who was having a great time here, could barely keep up with him.
I kept on admiring his body, my mind not thinking about anything else right now. Such biceps, pectorals, torso, abs and… everything else. I knew I shouldn’t be having those feelings, but how could I not? I hadn’t gotten laid in generations.
I was past getting laid with anyone – I once thought - but Eduardo had the potential to change that. He would be my husband, and even though I felt depressed most of the time, maybe that would be better than me hating him all the time.
I didn’t think my mind would ever change about him, but there was indeed an initial attraction. If it was going to become anything else, something more than what I was feeling, I had no idea, but part of me wished it would.
I watched him play tennis for some more time, my eyes catching sight of his smooth skin and his sweat. His clothes kind of merged with his body, showing his lines. I wished I could slide my hand on them right now, but that wouldn’t happen any time soon.
When they put down their rackets and shook their hands, that was my cue to get out of there. And that I did, feeling my vagina wet all of a sudden. I was such a fool for letting someone like him make me feel this aroused, but once again, I reminded myself I couldn’t control my feelings completely.
Maybe Eduardo would become a decent man one day, but that, I had no hopes for.
✽ ✽ ✽
I walked down the hallway, my eye catching sight of the open door to Eduardo’s bedroom. Now that I was thinking about it, I hadn’t been in his room since getting here. The only place I wasn’t allowed to explore…
He didn’t say I couldn’t come in here, but I imagined he wouldn’t like finding me snooping around his stuff. That was where he kept his documents, plans and stuff like that.
My ears picked up the sound of a car driving away, and looking out the window, I noticed that it was Eduardo who was driving it. Ah, so he is going out. That was perfect. Almost too perfect, but I wasn’t going to pass on this opportunity to learn stuff about him he wouldn’t otherwise tell me.
I opened the partially open door, and walked into his bedroom. There was something familiar about it. It was rather plain. Nothing very expensive. Almost like my former husband’s bedroom, except that this one had a lot more Mafia stuff in it.
On top of his desk, I could see some maps and plans on it. Eduardo was a rather careless man. No wonder I managed to get his keys and his gun at those times. He didn’t pay much attention to what he was doing some days.
Maybe I could use that to my advantage more times, I thought before going to his desk and opening a drawer.
I wasn’t interested in his Mafia businesses in here. They were his problem, and I wished him all the best. If he didn’t succeed, the war in Milan would become a lot tougher for my father.
I didn’t come here to steal anything from Eduardo, only to learn more about him. He told me about his past, how he came to become a Mafia member, and also one thing I didn’t like one bit. He enjoyed being Romano’s goon. He would do anything for him. His one and only objective was to, one day, run his family.
Considering how hard he fought, how much effort he put into making his old man happy, I knew one day he would be chosen to become the leader of the Russo family. For now, though, he had me to deal with.
I opened more drawers, finding a couple more documents in them, but not much about his life. That was quite disappointing. I was hoping I could find out who his real parents were. I knew they were poor, humble Italians, but he never told me much more than that about them.
I opened another drawer in his desk and when I thought that this was it, that I wasn’t going to find anything interesting in here, my eyes landed on a sheet of paper that piqued my curiosity. At the top of said sheet I read ‘Infertility Test’ and right below it, I found his name.
Wait, he was infertile? Oh, so that meant… he and I would never be able to bring a child to this world. Another woman would have been devastated by that piece of news, but not me. Ever since my little Regina passed away, I made a decision never again to get pregnant.
Every child I could conceive would probably make me remember about her too much, and even now, a couple of years since her burial, I shed tears. The last thing I wanted in my life was another baby, even though, before I had her, all I wanted was to begin a family.
But then, the Mafia happened. It didn’t only kill my husband, but also my baby girl.
I was gripping the sheet of paper in my hands so tightly I was wrinkling it. Shit, Eduardo would come back here and find it in this condition, he would put two and two together, and figure out that someone was messing with his stuff.
And then, he would conclude I was the one that came to his room, snooped around his stuff and messed with things I had no right to.
I breathed out, trying to calm myself down, and eased my grip on the sheet of paper. I read more of it, reaffirming what the title stated. Eduardo was infertile, and he kept that hidden from me.
He should have told me, but then I imagined Romano Russo wouldn’t have picked him for this, had he known. Maybe he was buying time.
I was going to put the sheet of paper back into the drawer when my eyes landed on him.
I forgot to close the door.
Eduardo
I had forgotten something important in my bedroom. Damn, how careless was I. I didn’t expect, though, to find her in here. In my bedroom, her hands holding a sheet of paper.
She was holding the document she should never have found. Her knowledge about that fact - about me - could bring terrible consequences to our marriage. Even though I didn’t want to marry her, the last thing I wanted was Romano finding out that I was infertile.
He wouldn’t only end this marriage right away; he would also kick me out of his family. And I worked so hard to become his right-hand man. I just couldn’t allow that to happen. It just wouldn’t.
“Eduardo-”
“What are you doing?”
“I’m sorry. I was only…”
“You were snooping around my stuff. I never did that to you. Do you think it’s fair?”
/> She put down the document she was holding, and walked over to me.
“I know about it.”
I ran my hand through my hair, closing the door behind me. She knew about it, but other people shouldn’t.
“You are going to tell your father?”
“No, of course not.”
I exhaled. I looked into her eyes and found out she was telling the truth. Good.
I picked up the document and using a lighter, I burned it. I tossed the burning paper out the window, much to the shock of Elsa. “Nobody else needs to know about that.”
That was something I should have done a long time ago.