Dealing with Blue

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Dealing with Blue Page 13

by Stacia Leigh


  Talk. What did she know about it?

  “It’s probably true, but I think there’s more to it,” J.J. said, stealing three fries off her tray. “She wants to see me. Says she misses me.”

  “Oh.” Suzy clenched her teeth and tried to smile but failed. Here it comes, the big breakup. Why did it have to happen tonight? Tears burned against her eyelids. She blinked. “What are you going to do? About Gemma, I mean.”

  “Nothing.” He leaned on the table and studied her. “Hey, are you okay?”

  Suzy waved dismissively. “Yeah, everything’s fine,” she said and pushed her unfinished tray to the middle, so he didn’t have to reach. “Listen, after we break up, will I still be able to—”

  “Right, uh…” He lowered his brows and leaned back against the booth. “I said I’d help you get your license, and I will. You can trust me, you know. I keep my word.”

  “I know. But if you get back with Gemma, I could always talk to Charlie. He’s got a car.”

  “What do you see in that guy anyway?” J.J. tapped out a staccato beat on the table top.

  Tap, tap, tap, tap.

  Security? A nice boy who’s easy to talk to and comfortable to be around?

  “I don’t know.” Suzy slouched against the booth cushion. “He’s quiet but not in a shy way. I think we have a lot in common. It makes me want to peel the layers back.”

  J.J. choked on his fry. “Sounds like you want to get him naked.”

  “Layers…like an onion.” Suzy huffed in exasperation. “Get to know him, find out what he’s really like.”

  “I could tell you a few things about him.” J.J. said.

  Tap, tap, tap, tap.

  “I don’t want you to tell me. I’d want to discover them for myself. That’s the fun part.”

  “Hey, you don’t have to tell me about the fun part. I know all about it. But I got an idea. Pretend I’m Charlie.”

  “Pretending…there’s a lot of that going on. I pretend to be your scorcher. You pretend to be—”

  “My scorcher?” J.J. pulled his hands off the table and sat up. “I like that. But I’m curious. If you had one question to ask, what do you want to know? Like which part of the onion do you peel back first? Pretend I’m him. Go ahead. Ask me.”

  “No.”

  “C’mon, I’m not teasing. I’m curious, you know. What’s the most important thing you’d want to know about somebody.”

  Good question. What did she want to know about Charlie? To really know him would be something special. It would take precious time to sort through the stratum of details to find out what made him intriguing. Did he grab something on the go or sit down for pancakes? He ate simple cookies and drank his coffee black, which seemed sort of dark and roguish.

  Did J.J. even drink coffee? She’d served him a glass of milk, and what did that say about him? It said he didn’t have a care in the world, that he could just strut into her bakery and order a kid’s drink. It was a sign of his immaturity. Or maybe he cared about his calcium intake? Of course, he’d been eating a cream puff with chocolate drizzled on the top, and everyone knew milk went with chocolate. He had a sweet tooth just like she did. Suzy’s gaze dropped down to J.J.’s lips. Chocolate, lips, and kissing…

  What was the question again?

  Suzy blushed and poked french-fries into her sauce cup, making a potato hedgehog. Oh right, something about Charlie. She liked him because he was a lot like her, contained, but just barely. Suzy glanced up and caught J.J. watching her thoughtfully.

  “I’ve really gotta know.” He pulled out a quill from her French fry arrangement. “What would you ask?” He chewed it slowly and waited.

  “Uh…” She honestly had no idea. Think fast. “Okay…Charles.”

  “Please, call me Up Chuck.”

  “Of course.” She dropped her voice into a breathy whisper. “Uh…do you sing in the shower?”

  “What?” J.J. sat forward. “That’s it? All you wanna know—the look on your face a second ago. C’mon, you’ve gotta give me more than that.”

  “Why?”

  “Call it research.”

  “For Gemma?”

  J.J. frowned and took a sudden interest in his hands splayed on the table. He wove his fingers together, then gazed at her from under his lashes. “Sure,” he said.

  “Okay. I think it’s important to know what people are like in private, when they think no one else is looking. Plus, it’s a nice visual while they’re answering the question, don’t you think?”

  “No, I don’t.” J.J. shuddered.

  “Alright, Charlie, what’s your answer?”

  “Oh, right. I’m Charlie. Let’s see, I don’t sing in the shower because I’m boring, but I do like to yodel while I’m on the toilet, laying cable…how’s that for a visual?”

  “You’re gross.” She wrinkled her nose.

  “Charlie’s gross. But if you’re asking me, I don’t sing in the shower, either. I’m a thinker. I get some of my best ideas while I’m spreading lather all over my body.” He rubbed his hands over his chest and moaned.

  “You’re impossible.” Suzy squeezed her eyes shut and laughed. He laughed, too. “Okay, your turn. Pretend I’m Gemma. What would you ask?”

  J.J.’s laugh ended abruptly. He scratched his head and ran his fingers through his unruly mane. No wonder it stood on end, not that she minded or anything.

  He glanced up with his eyes set to stun. They radiated a beautiful green, light and dark and mesmerizing. She’d better buck up her personal fortress because with one look he had her dazzled.

  “What I want to ask you,” he said, “is do you wanna take a drive on Friday?”

  Suzy couldn’t tear her eyes away from him. What if…? No. He was Mr. Cool, all laid back, easy and fun, and he was being good for his word. What if…? No. She was stuck and dirty and contaminated. An hour ago she’d pulled a dead animal out of her house.

  What if…?

  No.

  J.J. was scared of rats, and little did he know, he lived right next door to his own horror show. There were no more “What ifs.”

  She had to get out of this town.

  Chapter 13: Potholes & Goosebumps

  J.J. twisted in the passenger seat and leaned against the vibrating truck door. There was Suzy grinning, her cheeks pushed up into pink apples, feet working the pedals, hands resting at ten and two. Coppery hair starting off smooth with every strand in place was now whipped into a wind-blown mess he called sexy. Driving with the windows down turned out to be one of his better ideas.

  They putt-putted around Brock Burrow Lake, barely able to talk over the gravel crunching under the tires. Decked out in his sunglasses, she rocked the steering wheel back and forth along the washboard road. He liked that, yes he did. His eyes followed the cute slope of her pert nose, down to her mocha cocoa lips, and he nodded, yes. Yes to Suzy.

  He leaned his head out of his truck’s window like a pooch lapping at the April breeze, and the late afternoon sun warmed his face. But cool freshness smacked his cheeks as the rain clouds tracked his tailgate from the sky. Hopefully, they’d stay back there awhile. With everything budding out in new green, he’d refused to wear long sleeves. He squinted against the bright clear sky through the dusty windshield, a hair shy of breaking out in goosebumps. He turned his head to let the wind plaster his hair off to the side, out of his eyes, and bounced on the seat springs as the truck hit a pothole. He was in too good a mood to even carry on about the alignment. Nope, not today. Not with Suzy Blue on his mind.

  He’d told Gemma a couple days ago that he needed time to think. He was supposed to imagine them getting back together, even going to prom. Apparently now, she was willing to let Ron go. But he didn’t trust her with his feelings, not after she’d dumped him so easily, then tried to blame it on Holly. It didn’t even matter anymore. She’d played her games, and he’d played his, and…where was the line? When did it stop?

  At night, J.J. would pull the covers over his h
ead and try to picture her blonde hair, her big eyes, and her swinging denim pockets. But at every turn, blonde hair turned into flaming red, and denim pockets morphed into Suzy’s butt hanging out her bedroom window. Suzy’s stunning blue eyes kept his heart rate up—among other things. And here he was again, thinking about Miss Priss, his buttercup.

  Suzy was straightforward and beautiful, funny—

  “What?” She flicked a glance in his direction, her eyes hidden behind his brown lenses. “You’re being awfully quiet. Is something on your mind?”

  J.J. grinned and shook his head, no, when he really meant yes. Yeah, he had something on his mind all right. It wasn’t killing and swagging online, it wasn’t beer and bonfires, and it wasn’t getting back together with Gemma. It was turning this pretend relationship with Suzy around. He’d dropped off the cliff the second she climbed up into his truck in her black, Butterhorn Bakery t-shirt. Butter Me Up right there on the front. He had to clutch at his chest to hold his heart inside, and she hadn’t even given him the smile yet. His heart yearned to bump up against hers, and yet, she thought they were still playing make believe. He didn’t want it to be pretend, and he definitely didn’t want it to be over.

  “No squawking about eyes on the road?” She cut him another look and dropped her ten o’clock grip to lean an elbow out the window like a good ol’ boy.

  “Now, you’re getting cocky,” he murmured.

  She smiled, all proud of herself, and bounced in her seat after nailing another pothole. J.J. held his breath and wished he had his sunglasses back, so he could hide his eyes and watch her. Then he’d tell her to hit all the potholes she wanted. He swallowed hard and tried to look away from her, but, man. He could not.

  “You’re driving me crazy.” J.J. squeezed his eyelids shut. “Pull over.”

  “Oh, come on, J.J. I wasn’t even driving that fast.”

  “No kidding. See the turn out up there? Pull in and reverse it down to the lake. I want to show you something.”

  “Reverse it?” Suzy’s good ol’ boy arm slipped inside, and her left hand hopped back to the ten spot on the steering wheel. “What if I roll right into the lake?”

  “Not so cocky now, are ya?” J.J. mocked good-naturedly. “You’re not going to get your driver’s license if you can’t back this truck up.”

  “I’ll pass the driving…don’t you worry. And when I do?” Suzy cranked the wheel, guiding the truck into the turnout. “It’s splitsville,” she said and positioned the tailgate at the mouth of the overgrown road. “I’ve been studying the written, too. I’m ready.”

  “Splitsville? What do you mean?”

  “I’ve been saving my Butterhorn money to get a car. Nothing fancy…just something to get me to Bozeman for the summer.”

  “Bozeman?” J.J. leaned forward like he took a Stetson boot to the spleen. She was planning to leave? Prom was coming up and then they only had six weeks left of school. He gaped at her, his visions of Suzy climbing out her window, running with him through the woods to the lake, skinny dipping off the rock, boating, fishing, grilling, and doing the denim twist—they all scattered like dust motes in the cab. What was he supposed to do without her? She featured a major part in his future plans. He was about to pop the question. Be my girlfriend—no, my real girlfriend.

  “Remember Tessa? She graduated last year.” Suzy took a deep breath, threw the truck into reverse, and swung her arm over the back seat to look out the rear. She eased on back, all slow and careful. “She’s going to Montana State. She loves it and is planning on being there for the summer. I’m going to stay with her.” The truck ambled down the grassy path, and Suzy braked at the gravel beach. “How was that? Not bad, huh?” Her lips pulled up in a self-satisfied grin as she stomped on the e-brake.

  “I’m not going to lie. Your driving skills…suck!” J.J. said without any guilt whatsoever. “You’re not driving my truck to get your license until I’m sure you’re not going to kill someone on the road.”

  Her glossy, mocha cocoas parted in surprise, and J.J. wrenched the door open. Don’t give him the hurt eyes, girl. He slammed the door and stomped around to the driver’s side as she slid down off the covered seat.

  “What’s your problem? I drive just fine, and you know it.”

  “Don’t you feel anything, Suzy?” He urged her off to the side and shut the cab door by the open window frame. He left his hand resting there to block her in, breaching her bubble. She stepped back and bumped against the rear fender.

  “I…I…don’t know what you mean.”

  Sucking in a deep helping of smooth-move, J.J. reached over, pinched the bridge of his brown sunglasses, and slid them off her nose, revealing shifty blue eyes under raised copper brows.

  “Where’re your librarian glasses?” he asked, folding his shades with one hand. The toe of her cute, animal-print shoe scuffed at the gravel. Was she nervous?

  “I forgot them.” She looked back at him and swallowed hard. “But I only need them for long distance. If I squint, I can read the signs.”

  If she was nervous, maybe it was a sign she didn’t have all the answers, either. Maybe she liked him, and maybe she was trying to hide it.

  Or not.

  But he had a chance, right here, right now, to let the dried dirt on the mud flaps fall where it may, so to speak.

  He clipped the sunglasses to the neck of his t-shirt and pushed them around to the back. What would she do if he kissed her? Run? Punch him in the gut? Man, what if she hooked his leg, threw him in the lush grass, and did wicked things to him?

  Only one way to find out, and talking wasn’t it.

  “Didn’t I say you’re driving me crazy?” His eyes glided over the freckles on her nose.

  She rubbed her smooth lips together like she’d just glossed them and a whiff of mocha-cocoa drifted by. He stepped closer, bent down, and when she didn’t push him away, he leaned in and brushed his nose against her neck. He inhaled slowly, and the backs of his knees trembled like two squirrels. His plan of less-talk-more-action scrambled his brain, and he clutched both her shoulders to keep from falling in the dirt. He’d swear her pulse jumped when his lips wandered up her neck. They nibbled their way across her jaw and over her soft lips. Her dangling hands came to life and lightly touched his elbows. He pulled back a hairs-width.

  “Suzy, I like you.” He sighed. “A lot.”

  Her hands coasted softly up his biceps and scooped into the hair at the back of his neck, and she kissed him back.

  His core spiked to 2300 degrees and melted like molten glass into her, forming around her, fusing. If he pulled away, he would cool and forever have her body’s imprint on him. He would never be the same. It would always be Suzy fitting against him perfectly. He couldn’t pull away, not now, not ever.

  His hands skimmed down her ribs to the indent of her waist, over her hips, and smoothed around to her back. Her hands followed a similar path on his body, and she squashed herself against him. He was lost. She was definitely what he wanted, no doubt about it. What they had was genuine and true, and he felt like his soul had been touched, heated, and altered. J.J. and Suzy. Buttercup…

  Nah…it was butterscorch.

  His hands whisked under her shirt, touching the soft skin of her back, sliding up and up until his fingertips bumped against the smooth edge of her bra strap. Oh, man, that thing had to go. He traced the silky line across her back and moaned into her mouth as her lips, soft and sweet, moved against his. His thumb and finger found the closure, and before he could snap the clasp, she pulled away, at the same time pushing him.

  He stood there panting as he lifted a palm to his chest. He could still feel her hands on him, her body pressed into his. He swooned and rested his hip against the silver metal side of his truck and searched her face. Things were moving way too fast.

  “What are you doing to me?” he whispered.

  “I don’t know,” she said breathlessly, her blue eyes glued to his. “I thought you wanted Gemma back.”
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  “Gemma?” J.J. searched Suzy’s face and, honest to God, he almost asked, Gemma who? He raked fingers through his hair. “Don’t talk about her.”

  “Oh.” Suzy blinked, jerking back like he’d smacked her cheek.

  “No, not like that.” He touched the inside of her elbow. “I mean it’s done…it’s over with her. I don’t want to talk about her. I want to talk about us, you and me. Suzy, I can’t stop thinking about you.”

  “But we’re pretending. You said, ‘Just pretend’—”

  “I don’t want to anymore.”

  “—and you’d teach me to drive. Now you’re telling me, what? I’m a horrible driver, and you won’t let me use your truck and…and…we had a deal.”

  “This has nothing to do with my truck.”

  “For me it does! Don’t you see? I can’t stay with my mom, J.J. I have to get out. I’m not…it’s not what you think.” She wiped at her eyes and stepped away from him. “You want Gemma, so how can you change your mind like that, like whiplash? You guys have gone out for a long time, and now you’re throwing it all away. And for what?”

  “For you, you head-case! I’m trying to tell you I really, really like you, and I want us to go out for real, not pretend. Geez, what a nightmare…” He pressed his fingers into the back of his neck. Don’t blow this. Keep it cool. “Listen, you’ve got me talking about feelings. You’ve changed me. There is no Gemma. I want you. Got it? Or do I have to spell it out on my windshield?”

  “I’m not your type, J.J. You should be with someone cute and funny like—”

  “God! You’re…” He flapped his hand at her as he looked her up and down. Her tangled hair, her glittery eyes, and her pouty mouth ravished his mind. “There aren’t words.”

  “Really?” She harrumphed, crossing her arms under her Butter Me Up logo that drove him mad.

  “You’re not cute,” he said harshly before softening his tone. “You’re beautiful, okay? I could look at you all day long, and when I close my eyes, I do.” He shut his eyes briefly. “Even in my dreams you’re there, tattooed on the inside of my eyelids. Red hair, blue eyes, all skin…”

 

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