Dealing with Blue

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Dealing with Blue Page 17

by Stacia Leigh


  There was no way in Hades she would let him in her rodent-infested house with only a flimsy door and a bath towel blocking him from her reality, from the trash piled on the other side.

  She ripped the cord back to drop the blinds—zip!—and bounced back on her bed. A quick flick of the lamp’s switch plunged the room into darkness. Bleakness.

  There. She waited.

  Nothing.

  He must be gone.

  Chapter 16: Gaps & Puddles

  J.J. lifted his head and winced at the black-out pain zinging up his neck and over his scalp. Mom eased a fresh, cold compress to the base of his neck, and he relaxed back onto it with a sigh. Oh, yeah, Sofa Sunday. A full day of pain relief therapy: TV, naps, and snacks. Oh, and Mom doling out intermittent doses of ice, meds, and tough love.

  “I think we’d better go to the doctor tomorrow morning. You could have a concussion. Did you think about that? Look at you. In one night of carousing, you come home with a strained neck, a fat lip, and most likely a broken finger. And after listening to the way you talked with Suzy last night…” She shook her ponytail, and her brow wrinkled with disappointment.

  “Mom, I don’t know what you think you heard, but I was only checking on her…that’s it.” And what did he get for his troubles? Suzy’d slammed his fingers in the window. He couldn’t even bend his pinkie. It was swollen like a hot sausage. She was truly pissed off.

  “Shameful.” Mom’s lips thinned. “Your dad has some things he wants to say to you, right Gary?”

  “Uh…right.” Dad scratched his short blond hair roughly, knocking back his Caterpillar hat. He tugged the brim back down and sat, perched on the edge of the recliner. Leaning forward, he studied his scuffed boots.

  “Dad, I can’t see the TV.” J.J. could barely make out the bearded dude, creating an epic bacon cheeseburger, part two. Must see and a great way to not think about Suzy. All he’d wanted to do was show her his gentlemanly side and have a fresh start with no more agenda and no more pretending. Next time he asked her to kiss him in the theater, it wouldn’t be for Gemma’s viewing pleasure. No, he’d ask for a kiss because he was serious about Suzy, because they were hell-a-good together. He swallowed back a sharp sting, not ready to release the heart-piercing hornets thrumming in his chest.

  “J.J., we’re trying to have a serious discussion here.” Mom put a hand on the hip of her jeans. “Turn it off and listen up.”

  “Let’s see…” Dad looked up at J.J. with his eyebrows hitched in the middle and grimaced as if he suffered from a severe bout of gas. He rubbed a big palm down his face. “I’ll just dive in, I guess…uh, at the beginning. Well, as you know, a man has a penis, and a woman has a vagina.”

  “Whoa!” J.J. waved his hands and tried to sit up, but shards of pain zapped him. “Ow.” He clutched his neck and fell back against the couch.

  “Gary.” Mom dropped her hands, pulling her shoulders down with exasperation. “He’s sixteen. I’m sure he already knows about the male and female anatomy. I want him to know about how sex can change his life permanently. You didn’t hear what your son was saying last night.” Her eyes flared at J.J., and she wagged her finger. “‘Horndog.’ I did not raise you to talk to girls like that.”

  “You said for me to handle this.” Dad’s hands flew into the air. “Man-to-man, you said.”

  “What’s sex?” Little Oops popped up like a gopher from behind Dad’s chair, and the room spattered with discord.

  “Oh, my!” Mom yelped.

  “Ub, ubbah…bub.” Dad sputtered and frantically searched his open palms for something. A sign from his fate line? Sweat? Answers, maybe?

  “Honey, didn’t I tell you to play Barbies in your room?” Mom’s hands fluttered in front of her like butterflies as she gestured down the hallway.

  Dad stood and puffed out his cheeks while he held his breath, probably praying for the cloak of invisibility.

  J.J. shut his eyes and prayed, too.

  “Okay.” With a loud inhale, Mom gathered her maternal strength, and with a slow exhale, she brought the room back into order. She rested a heavy hand on Dad’s shoulder and guided him back into his chair. “You guys finish your talk and holler when you’re done. Little Oops and I will have our own conversation in the back bedroom.” She gave Little Oops a meaningful look and prodded her away. “Let’s go, Stella.”

  “Sweet Mary,” Dad muttered, scratching his head. “Where was I?”

  J.J.’s eyes flew open. No!

  “Hold it,” he said and then with great care, adjusted the ice pack behind his head. “Okay, before you even go there, I want you to know you’re five years too late. Monty sat me down and told me all about where babies come from. So we’re good. You’re off the hook.”

  “He did?” Dad relaxed back into the leather recliner. He chuckled and kicked up the foot rest, then interlaced his fingers and plopped them on top of his hat. His eyes twinkled, and he practically oozed with contentment. “Good. Why don’t you enlighten me, so I know where to fill in the gaps.”

  “No gaps, Dad. None.”

  “He covered sexual diseases and pregnancy, did he? Well, what about your self-respect and respecting women?”

  “Covered.” J.J., hit with a sudden wave of exhaustion, shifted slightly onto his back and held out the remote.

  “Glad to hear it,” Dad said with a grin. He grabbed the controller and flicked the TV back on. Epic Cheeseburger, Part Two and Sofa Sunday resumed.

  * * *

  Suzy kneeled on the smooth hardwood floor, wiping up a puddle of almond milk she’d spilled earlier with her fumble fingers when the bell jingled with delight above The Butterhorn Bakery door. The church coffee crowd had come and gone, so this was probably an afternoon regular with a sweet tooth.

  Thank God she’d soaked her eyes with a cold washcloth this morning before work. Hot, puffy eyes from a crying jag and a sleepless night equaled a super scary mess. She wouldn’t get tips at work if she came in looking like a torn-up old crone, would she? She needed those tips to pad her cookie tin…desperately. A big wad of cash would buy her something reliable and preferably automatic. She had to get out of this town.

  Suzy stood, tossed the washrag into the sink, and turned, ready with a smile.

  “Can I help—oh.” Suzy stiffened. “Hi, Gemma. What can I do for you?”

  Gemma’s Nordic tresses were pulled back in a ponytail, and she looked flushed, like she’d been out jogging and just happened to pop in.

  “I don’t want any of your lousy coffee, I know that much,” Gemma said sweetly.

  Alrighty then. This was not going to be a regular order, and if Suzy could guess, there would be no tip.

  “No coffee, no problem,” Suzy said. “I’d offer you a tart, but something tells me you’ve got that covered.”

  “Sweet, little Suzy Blue. You think J.J. likes you, don’t you? Well, butter-lump, he does not because if he did, he wouldn’t have kissed me at the theater when you were on your…” She finger-quoted the air. “…‘date.’ He wants me back. I know because when I said I needed to talk to him, he left you high and dry. He left you with his buddies at the campfire, all because he wanted to…to be with me.” Her voice shook, and she nodded like she was trying to convince herself. “See…we’ve got history together. What have you got?”

  Gemma’s big eyes, outlined in black, peered out from under her white-blonde mane as she studied Suzy. What was Gemma looking for? Maybe a little truth, a little honesty?

  “Since you asked, let’s see.” Suzy held up her finger. “For one thing, I’m honor-roll smart and proud of it. I’ve been told I’ve got this hot bod and a wicked sense of humor, not to mention I can drive J.J.’s truck like hell-on-wheels, just the way he likes it.”

  “Is that it?” Gemma’s demeanor seemed to relax, which made Suzy’s heartbeat quicken.

  “Isn’t it enough?” Ugh. Just smile and the world smiles with you, remember? Suzy needed to save face and save it fast. She could try prete
nding—

  “I don’t think it is, Suzy. Especially since Holly said J.J. was using you to make me jealous. You were in on it, right? I mean, I hope so. You did know?” The words “poor, pathetic girl” didn’t have to be said, because they were written all over Gemma’s face.

  Suzy knew this was how it would end. She even told J.J. when they made the deal in the first place; it would be her reputation on the line. Clairvoyant, that’s what she was. She saw it before it happened. What she didn’t see coming was the overwhelming like she had for J.J. When he had pulled back the branches showing her those baby juncos, it was sincere and beautiful and real. When he’d asked her out on a date, it had been their chance at a connection, a chance at love.

  Where did it go wrong?

  At the cliffs, they were in the eye of the hurricane, wrapped up in each other and spinning with raw feelings, and what did J.J. do? He broke the spiral. He’d walked away to have a discussion with Gemma. What was so important that he had to leave right then and there with her?

  Suzy looked down at her tender, bleeding hangnails and forced her hands apart. You were in on it, right? What could she say? Maybe something like: Yes, of course, I knew it was all pretend, or…What are you talking about? We’re neighbors. He mows my lawn, or…Lighten up. J.J. and I are just friends, or…Didn’t he tell you? We’re flying off to Bozeman together, or… He played me like a fool, sister. I thought he liked me—

  “Well?” Gemma knocked on the counter, and Suzy glanced up, shoving her hands into her apron pockets. “If you’re in on it,” Gemma said, “it’s done. I know all about it. If you’re not, then I truly feel bad for you, Suzy.”

  “I don’t know what to say, really.” Suzy shrugged. “Except he showed up at my house last night, and we talked for a while.” The words, the truth, hung between them. Maybe honesty was the best policy. Who knew?

  “He went to your house last night?” Gemma straightened with a frown and worried that big, bottom lip of hers between her teeth. “After the bonfire? After the cops came?”

  Suzy relaxed as the ex’s confidence took a nose dive, and she leaned on the glass top.

  “Yes, after the bonfire,” she said nonchalantly. “He stopped by to talk and for some ‘TLC.’ That’s what he said. Tender loving care, right? Now, can I offer you something sweet? Like…” She tapped the counter with her middle finger. “Rocky Road fudge? Or maybe a slice of that Bite Me lemon pie?” When Gemma’s face twisted into a hot-pink bow, Suzy held her hands up like two stop signs. “Hey, I don’t make up the names.”

  “Single-wide Suzy, that’s what you are,” Gemma said quietly, her eyes like little mud puddles, ready to spill. “It’s a good thing you have that wicked sense of humor, because I think you’re going to need it, especially if you think you can keep J.J. My advice to you is don’t make him work too hard.” Her lips puckered like she bit down on something bitter. “Because he won’t stick around for long.” She pivoted on the heel of her white sneaker and glided out the door, the same one she’d walked through ten minutes earlier.

  The bell jingled again…with delight.

  “Oh, yeah?” Suzy muttered to the dust motes that danced in Gemma’s wake. “At least I’m not a double-wide like you.” She clawed the air like an indignant cat.

  Breaking her own rule, Suzy stepped into the back room to check her phone. There were absolutely no messages from J.J. Not a one.

  He won’t stick around for long.

  Chapter 17: The Tower

  J.J. spent Monday morning chatting up the doctor while getting his face examined. Oh, and his swollen pinky finger. Turns out, the latter had a non-displaced, middle phalangeal fracture and had to be wrapped up in an aluminum and foam splint. The bad thing? It hurt like a mother, and all he got for his trouble was a bottle of ibuprofen and a lot of advice. The good thing? Or better yet…the great thing? He couldn’t use the weed whacker for a solid month. Boom. Oh, yeah.

  His mom dropped him off at school after the lunch hour and, man, he couldn’t wait for Mrs. Norton’s class. He had imagined unveiling his blue-taped finger and showing Suzy what a brute she was on Saturday night. He would savor her sympathies and invite her to his place to play nurse while they cuddled in front of the TV. All was forgiven.

  But when class started with Mrs. Norton waving her teacher hands in this is a stick up mode, Suzy’s chair sadly remained empty.

  J.J.’s gut dropped and questions with the weight of boulders tumbled around in his skull. Where was she? Was she sick, working, or mad as a hornet? Would a studious, uptight nerd skip class on purpose, so she could avoid him? Did Suzy have enough loot for a car? She could be shopping at a car dealership, loitering at the DMV, or laying rubber halfway to Bozeman. The thudding in his head vibrated down to his chest cavity and over to his pinky; it pulsed like mad.

  Mommy.

  So they had a fight. C’mon, it wasn’t a deal breaker. They had something, didn’t they? Yes, and normal people called it a strong connection. Suzy melted him, melted his soul. She was all he thought about. To his own ears, it sounded dramatic and definitely not something he’d confess out loud. But he still felt it deeply in his roots, his heart, and in his throbbing fourth finger on his dominant hand.

  Man, he wanted to call her, but thankfully, he’d forgotten to charge his phone on Sofa Sunday, so he couldn’t, which meant he had to go see her. He had to know. Did she feel that strong connection, too, or was he dangling in the wind?

  And…that put him right under her bedroom window where the blinds were open and the lights were off. He stepped onto her white plastic crate, careful not to get tangled in the yarn she obviously used as a fishing line to reel it back inside. He held his hand up like a visor and peered through the smudged glass into a dark room. No Suzy.

  The princess was on the run.

  Where was she? What was she doing? He turned and searched over his left shoulder toward the Badger Court sign, the direction of Main Street. She could have gone to Grubby’s for an early dinner or to Butterhorn or to the mall. He raked his teeth over his raw lip, relishing the tinge of pain before turning to the right, toward the lake and the meadow. He saw red as in red, coppery hair pulled back in a slick ponytail. Suzy popped into view a trailer house down, but when she lifted her eyes to him, she stopped.

  Last time J.J. talked to her, he stood below this same window and things didn’t go so well. He suction-cupped his palm onto the glass pane and shifted it to the side, wide open—all the while watching her watching him. Oh, they were going to talk all right and on equal footing. J.J. couldn’t risk her slamming his face in the window, not to mention any more fingers. He had to make things right. He just had to.

  “J.J.!” Suzy started to run. “No!”

  “I came to talk!” J.J. hollered over his shoulder. Keeping his neck positioned just right and the weight off his splint, he jumped up and tilted forward. He bounced once on his fat lip—Ow!—and bounced again, swinging his legs around in front of him. Smartest move? Probably not. A zip of pain climbed up his neck to the back of his scalp. That maneuver would cost him. But, he was up. He was in Suzy’s tower.

  He knelt on all fours and glanced out the window frame, ready with a grin, one which faltered pretty quickly when he took in Suzy’s pink face. Tears glittered in her eyes.

  “You have no right…” she breathed heavily from her quick sprint, “to go into…my room. That’s my personal space.” She held a hand to her chest. “You’re trespassing.”

  “I wanted to know what it felt like to be a pretty princess.” He joked, trying to bust through this trespassing business. C’mon now, that’s pretty serious. So he was in her room? Big deal. Talk, talk, talk. That’s all he wanted to do. He shoved off her bed and sat on the edge, giving her space to jump in and him a chance for a quick peek around.

  “J.J.” Suzy cried from down below.

  He stood, taking a mental snapshot of the princess quarters while she launched into the room. A frilly comforter pulled taut mea
nt she was a neatnik girly-girl. Artwork nailed to the wall above a desk with perfectly arranged paints and brushes meant she was the organized creative type.

  Her room was cozy and fussy and meticulously clean. The only thing off kilter was a fishing tackle box decked out with a frilly pink ribbon. It was perched on the seat of her desk chair and meant she liked the outdoors but probably didn’t bait her own hook. Suzy hoisted herself out of a graceful face-plant and jerked up to stand in front of him. She looked hot-and-bothered with a sharp finger pointed right at his chest and ready for damage.

  But before she could jab him, he gently grabbed her wrist and guided her toward him.

  “Man, you drive me crazy,” he murmured. His body tingled at the world of Suzy surrounding him.

  “What?” Suzy’s eyes bugged, and she shoved him away. “I can’t believe you. You need to leave…now.”

  “I like being in your space. Look, I’m covered in goosebumps.” He held out his arm. What a trip.

  Here he stood, completely affected by her, and she glared at him. She was tough, man. Even outright flirting with her hit the dirt, and teasing wasn’t getting him anywhere, either. Cool it, man. Be yourself, but be normal. J.J. glanced around her bedroom, committing it to memory.

  “I like your room,” he said.

  “Shh. Keep your voice down. My mom’s out there. Ugh.” Suzy covered her eyes and groaned. “You’re trespassing.”

  He waved that away. “I wanted to see you…to talk…to say I’m sorry.”

  “So talk.” She crossed her arms under her chest and cocked her hip out to one side.

  “Alright…” J.J. shrugged, and before he could stop himself, he asked, “Where’ve you been anyway?” Curiosity weighed on him, but he cringed for the way it sounded, like a jealous, controlling schmuck.

  “Out. Why do you care?”

  “Wait. Why do I care? I dunno. I care. Why do I have to have a reason?” J.J. sat back onto the edge of the bed. “Suzy, I keep trying to tell you how I…” He cleared his throat and looked down at his palms. “I really want to be with you, and I’ve gotta know. Do you feel the same? Do you want to be with me?”

 

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