by Lauren James
“But if we’re the last…” I sigh.
“Don’t worry about making your ancestors proud. You don’t need to be perfect, just on the off chance you’re the last of your kind. Life is whatever you want it to be. With whoever you want to be with. Life is the people around you, the ones you love. You just need to be happy. That’s all that matters.”
I’m quiet for a moment, taking this in. “Are you happy?”
“I’m happier than I ever thought I’d be.”
“What made you happy?”
“Having you.”
I sigh, and sit up, rubbing my eyes. “Well, that doesn’t help me. I can’t have kids, can I?”
“I don’t know about that. There’s still time. I have hope.”
“What about everyone else? They’ve never had kids. Does that mean they aren’t happy?”
“It means that they’re doing the best they can, in the hope that one day this will be fixed, and then there will be children again.”
“And if it isn’t?”
“We’ll deal with that when it comes to it.”
MyWaves05
shared the post “Scientists say they’ve made ‘no real progress’ on reversing the effects of the virus”
So the new infertility progress report says that they’ve still not got any leads for a cure, two years after they started looking. What are we going to do when the IVF eggs run out? This really might be the end of everything. A whole generation is just going to disappear if this isn’t fixed soon.
Posted on 30 Nov 2026
Silentstar on 30 Nov 2026
Replying to @MyWaves05
Oh, I hate this I hate it I hate it. What are they playing at?! How can they not know anything at all?
MyWaves05
Reasons my cat is mad at me: I didn’t come home until two a.m. and then was too busy sleeping to feed him breakfast.
Reasons I’m mad at my cat: he didn’t like the leftover steak my date kindly saved from his dinner.
Posted on 12 Feb 2027
Rizzz on 12 Feb 2027
Replying to @MyWaves05
We get it, you went out last night –
you’re very cool.
MyWaves05 on 12 Feb 2027
Replying to @Rizzz
I knew you’d slip up and admit you were jealous of my dates sooner or later. Good work, everyone – we got him.
Rizzz on 12 Feb 2027
Replying to @MyWaves05
Wow. Never have I been more exquisitely burned in public.
MyWaves05
I’ve donated to the fundraiser “Please help, the Manchester riots destroyed our home”. People don’t feel safe any more. They’re rioting because the government isn’t doing enough to protect children. They’re trying to ride this out without making any major policy changes, but it’s gone past that point. This isn’t going to just go away without every nation working together to fix it, using every resource we have. More of the budget needs to be dedicated to research.
Posted on 27 Apr 2027
MyWaves05
What’s with #Babygrow? Why’s everyone so into an app game all of a sudden?
Posted on 4 May 2027
Blueburnedskies on 4 May 2027
Replying to @MyWaves05
Maya, you have to download it! It’s so amazing. You can create a baby! You put in descriptions of you and your partner, and it makes an embryo. It’s in real time too, so it takes nine months before it’s born. And while it’s growing, it responds to sound and touch – so you can use the app to stroke the stomach, play classical music and speak to the baby, and even watch it kick. It’s kind of sweet!
MyWaves05 on 4 May 2027
Replying to @Blueburnedskies
Nine months? That’s so long. Everyone will have forgotten about it before any babies are even born. What a weird idea for an app.
Unhako_neko on 4 May 2027
Replying to @MyWaves05 and @Blueburnedskies
I like that it’s realistic! It feels like a real baby. Phil and I are obsessed. We both have the app, and we check up on ours constantly. I hope it’s a boy.
CHAPTER 16
After Mum leaves, I try my best to sleep, but my brain won’t stop working. I drift off for a few minutes, only to wake up, gasping, from an anxious dream, to find Mitch towering over me, his head tilted to the side with a red light flashing in concern.
“Are you my own private therapy bot now?” I ask, pulling my pillow to my chest. My shoulders hurt with tension.
I check the time and realise it’s only two a.m. There’s no way I’m going to be able to get back to sleep. I flick through some old pictures, trying to calm myself down. We aren’t gone yet. Everyone I know and love is still here, still alive.
I think over what Mum said about just being happy and enjoying life. It’s nothing I’ve ever believed before. I’ve always felt like I have to carry on this legacy. I’m not sure I believe it now. Am I allowed that? A life that’s just mine, that doesn’t represent the whole of humanity? It sounds incredible.
As I’m scrolling through my tablet, I find an old video from when I was tiny. It’s of me and Shen. I settle back to watch it.
L MBW Mum, Dad, Aunty Jia and Uncle Feng, you all sit at the front. You’re the judges.
M MBW Who’s going first, you or Shen?
S Z Me!
J Z What are you going to be performing, erzi?
S Z I’ve written a play about aliens! It’s amazing!
J Z Introduce yourself first, for the camera. Everyone is going to want to see this at the next community meeting.
L MBW Wait, wait, wait, we need a presenter to introduce us! Mum, you do it!
M MBW
OK. Welcome, ladies and gentlemen – and dogs – to the very first Zhang/Mountbatten-Windsor talent show! Featuring … actors! Rappers! Dancers! And maybe even a special guest slam poet! For as Shakespeare himself once said:
“All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely
players;
They have their —”
L MBW OK, Mum. Sit down. That’s enough.
M MBW [quickly] Introducing our first act, wunderkind Shen Zhang, soon to be a famous screenwriter and performer!
All [polite clapping]
S Z My name is Shen Zhang and I’m ten years old and this is my new play ALIENS!
L MBW [waving] I’m the alien!
S Z Shh, Lowrie, not yet! Wait until I say! [in an exaggerated normal voice] “I am sitting outside my lovely home, drinking a cup of tea. I do not suspect a THING.”
L MBW “OH, HELLO, PALE-PINK SHINY CREATURE. I AM A NORMAL HUMAN BEING LIKE YOU.”
S Z “Oh whaaaat! It’s an alien!”
L MBW “WHAT? WHERE? THIS IS A NORMAL VOLUME TO SPEAK AT IN THIS TYPE OF ATMOSPHERE.”
S Z “Please don’t kill me! How did you learn English? Will you take me to your planet?”
L MBW “OH, ALL RIGHT. HOP ON MY SPACE MOTORBIKE.”
S Z “We are very high up! I nearly dropped my tea! Bye, Earth!”
All [clapping, cheering]
M MBW That was brilliant! Good work, Shen. Lowrie, what is your performance going to be?
L MBW No, you have to give him feedback! Like we’re on a proper talent show!
M MBW Oh. Well, I’ve never seen anything so wonderful! I was in raptures. In fact, it reminds me of Emily Dickinson, when she said —
S Z Thanks, Aunty Margaret!
F Z It was beautifully performed, bao bei. It was very fast-paced and flowed really well. I think next time you could include more dialogue. The ending was also resolved quite quickly. If you send me the script, I can give you some more detailed notes.
S Z Thanks, Baba! I’ll email it to you later!
L MBW Dad? Auntie Jia? Feedback?
H MBW It was very concise. I enjoyed that.
J Z I’m interested in how your alien survived in Earth’s atmosphere. Does it respire aerobically? The green paint impli
es that its skin contains chlorophyll.
S Z Well, I read this thing that said —
J Z Maybe we can discuss that later, Shen. Let’s give Lowrie her turn.
L MBW: I’m Lowrie Mountbatten-Windsor and I’m going to do a rap next! I’m definitely going to win; I’m really good at it. Shen is gonna play the bass guitar for me. There’s swears in this bit, sorry. You ready, Shen?
The video suddenly makes me want Shen. He’ll still be awake this late, reading something in bed in the blue room. I know that I won’t feel so sick and lost if I’m with him.
I send him a message: you awake? roof?
He immediately sends back a thumbs-up emoji.
“Come on,” I tell Mitch. “You’re good at climbing, right?”
He nods his head.
I pull a jumper on over my pyjamas and then push up the sash window, before climbing out on to the balcony. The moon is bright and the air is warm, but I still shiver. It’s cold compared to the warmth of my bed.
I grab on to the gold wrought-iron barrier and pull myself over the edge. The window frames are all coated in gold leaf because – according to Mum – it’s more practical than paint. I’m not sure I believe her.
The gravel drive is far, far below me, but I’ve had a lot of practice at climbing. I mastered the art of outer-wall navigation by the time I was ten. There are so many bronze statues and ornaments and gargoyles and carved stone windowsills on the outside of the building that you can travel the entire circumference of the manor without ever stepping foot inside. It’s extremely handy for late-night rendezvous, midnight snacking and secret excursions when you’re grounded.
I grab the lower foot of the angelic figure that guards the left side of my bedroom window, so that I can pull myself into the deep alcove where the statue stands.
“Come on, then,” I tell Mitch, twisting to lean back into my bedroom window.
He looks at the ground far below us, flashing a nervous red.
“It’s not that bad. Here, put your feet on this bit and then twist, like that, see?”
Mitch doesn’t seem convinced.
I smirk, and carry on climbing, leaving him to muddle it out on his own. He’ll catch up once he gets over his nerves.
Standing in the statue’s alcove, I secure a foot on the angel’s elbow and push myself up. The alcoves on the outside of the building are brilliant for hiding things, as well as climbing. There’s a climbing wall in the basement, next to the bowling lanes, but the outside of the building is so much more fun that I barely use it.
Grabbing on to the sandstone jutting out above the alcove, I use the framework to inch to the left until I can reach out with my foot and boost myself up using the bolts of the drainpipe. Then it’s just a simple matter of kicking off the sandstone, grabbing on to the edge of the tiles and twisting on to the roof.
I’m still catching my breath when Mitch throws himself up beside me in one lightning-fast, slightly panicked motion. He bounces, leaping forward a step or two as he tries to catch his balance. Finally, he comes to a stop ahead of me, legs spread and braced wide.
“Not so bad, right?” I ask.
There is a careful, judgemental silence.
“It’ll be easier on the way back,” I say, confidently. I ignore his quiet, indignant orange light and make my way to the centre of the roof.
Mitch follows me, picking his way around chimneys, raised sections of brickwork, shallow trenches and skylights. It’s approximately the size of a football pitch up here. The rooftop pool is on the far left, on a lower section of the roof that is inaccessible from this high up, unless you’re willing to dive in from a great height – which, of course, Shen and I are experts at doing.
Shen is already here, leaning against a red-brick buttress and watching video-game walkthroughs on his tablet. He’s lounging on a blanket as if he’s been waiting for me to arrive for hours, instead of a maximum of about three minutes. Shen made it here the same way Mitch and I did – by climbing out of the blue room’s window on the opposite side of the east wing.
I go over to the storage shed and retrieve something I stashed here last time we did this: an incredibly rare bottle of sherry, taken from Dad’s wine cellar. It’s for “emergencies”, and I think today counts. Then I settle on the blanket, pulling it up around my shoulders. He does the same so that we’re sitting facing each other in a little cave of blanket, the sides lifted between us.
“You OK?” Shen asks me.
“I keep worrying about everything. This is all so weird, and I just – it just —”
“Ah. Come here, then.” He holds out his arms for a hug.
I let myself tip forward, pressing my head into the crook of his neck.
“I didn’t want to go to sleep either,” he admits.
“I’m so glad you’re here tonight.”
“Me too.” He squeezes the nape of my neck. “It’s going to be OK, you know.”
“Is it? I can’t see how.”
He doesn’t need to say anything to tell me that he doesn’t either.
We pass the bottle of sherry back and forth while Mitch meanders around the roof, shining his small blue light across the bricks and gutters. My brain seems to be in overdrive. Every time I remember the seizures, I can’t believe what’s been going on.
I used to sometimes yearn for something to happen. I think that’s another reason I like exploring and hunting for treasure so much. But now that something terrible is actually happening, I don’t want it. I want to go back to our soft, gentle life. None of this should be real. We were supposed to miss out on this kind of thing and have a dignified farewell to the end of civilization, not convulsions and panic and seizures. It’s all wrong.
Above us, the Union Jack flutters in the cool breeze. We’re sitting so quietly that a bird trills somewhere, long and calm.
“I need a distraction,” I say briskly, rubbing my arms. “I can’t think about this any more.”
“OK,” Shen says, and tilts his head thoughtfully. “What do you want to talk about instead?”
“I read more of Maya’s posts before I went to sleep. She was talking about these things called Babygrows.” I tell him about the baby-simulation software.
“I’ve never heard of anything like that,” Shen says, frowning.
“I know. It’s weird, right? Kind of creepy.”
“I wish we could just – go back in time and see what life was actually like back then. I think I’ve got a grasp on it, and then I learn something new like that and realise I don’t know even one per cent of the truth.”
“If you got one turn in a time machine, what time period would you visit?” I ask. “The time just before the infertility?”
“Oh no. Definitely not.”
“The future? There might be aliens there.”
He seems swayed by that, but he still shakes his head. “Not then, either. Before you messaged me tonight, I was reading about species extinction. It said that way before dinosaurs existed, there was this period called the Cambrian explosion. Basically, about five hundred million years ago, when there was no life on land yet, things in the sea were just starting to evolve from single-celled organisms to proper creatures.
“When the first versions of eyes appeared, it meant that the animals could hunt each other properly for the first time, instead of drifting around underwater randomly. So suddenly everything had to try and find a way to fight off predators. There was this huge burst of lots of different species all evolving different defensive features, like enormous flat shells covered in spikes and slugs with massive armour-plated claw arms.” He raises his hands to the sides of his mouth, miming pincers with his fingers.
“Wait, you’d want to visit there in a time machine? It sounds like they’d eat you!”
“Probably. But it would be worth it, to see it for real!”
I lean over and pinch him with my own finger claws.
He squirms out of my reach, laughing.
“So what made t
hem all go extinct in the end?”
“No one really knows. That’s what’s so interesting. It’s like what’s happened to us. All of sudden, bam, they were all dead and gone. Our best guess is that there was an ice age.”
I sigh. “I suppose that’s a bit more exciting than a measly virus wiping out your species. It makes us humans seem a bit pathetic, really.”
Sometimes I wonder if this kind of thing has happened before. How do we know there wasn’t a fertility problem in the ice ages, or in ancient hunter-gathering times? There aren’t any records from back then. How do we know humanity doesn’t go through cycles of birth in high numbers, then die off to reduce the population?
Maybe this is just the first time that humanity has been in communication with the whole planet, so it’s been noticed and recorded. Maybe one day Shen and I will find out that we can have a baby – even the thought of how we’d accidentally discover that makes my stomach squirm – and then that’ll be that: people will start having babies again. Like the sterility never happened at all.
This time it would actually be remembered, though. With the internet, it will never be forgotten.
Shen grimaces. “We aren’t going extinct. Doctor Ahmed and Mama and the other scientists will work out a solution for the fertility one day, I know they will. I’m not going to accept a life where I can’t have kids.”
I think of a baby with Shen’s features, all dark hair and careful observation and stacks of books on every surface. My heart clenches. “If you do have one, you’ve got to call her Eve. Or Adam, if it’s a boy. ’Cause, you know, they’ll be the first.”
Shen looks horrified. “We can’t do that! It would be way too much pressure!”
The “we” burns hot and long in my chest. I bite away a smile on the inside of my cheek. “It’s weird to think that if a single other one of those creatures had survived the Cambrian explosion, animals today would be totally different,” I say. “By random chance, this bonkers creature got eaten and this one lived – so animals have spines and legs instead of armour plating and spikes.”