Chapter Eight
I didn’t want to be one of those people who reflected back on the time that went by in a blur because that’s not the sort of person I was. But I felt like it was necessary, especially since it had been over a month since my parents died.
I had spent every day jogging with Lorenzo or Damian; they took turns. During that whole month, neither of them brought up the taboo subject. It was like they were trying to make me forget that I wanted to be an assassin. They didn’t want to burst that bubble of normality they tried so very hard to keep me in. I didn’t bring it up either, mainly because I knew how upset it made them both.
I hadn’t forgotten my purpose. I knew what needed to be done. I had been very patient. I could run for hours if I needed to, that’s how prepared I was. But I knew nothing could prepare me for taking a life. I would have to become cold to be a successful killer. Guilt and remorse had no room in my life, not when I needed to bring down the agency that ruined everything. Perhaps hours of running didn’t only increase my stamina, it helped me run away from the things that troubled me.
I had made a new home. Jason and Damian treated me like family. Isabelle and Jacqueline weren’t as friendly as them. I already knew how they felt about me. In their eyes, I was just a stray, an extra that didn’t belong. They didn’t know my stay wasn’t permanent. I could tell by the way they treated me. Damian didn’t tell his wife what I was planning. Maybe it’s because he knew the moment he said something, she’d kick me out. Jacqueline didn’t tolerate violence. If she knew that I wanted to become a killer, she wouldn’t want me around to corrupt her children and put ideas in their heads. Maybe that’s why Lorenzo and Damian never brought up the subject, not for a second, in case someone else overheard.
I was reflecting on things because I was lying awake in bed. The room was pitch-black and I just couldn’t sleep. It’s funny when you want to sleep, and your mind is so active, that it’s just impossible to drift off. That’s what I was experiencing right now. I wasn’t even sure why.
You’d think after a month, I would have let go of all my troubles. That wasn’t the case. I had crammed my emotional turmoil into a tiny little box, mainly because I was in denial. I didn’t want to be depressed. I didn’t want to make Damian upset with me for going on a tangent. I just stayed quiet about how I truly felt. I had nobody to talk to.
Although the room was dark, I could have sworn I saw something move in the corner of my eye. A breeze chilled my room, a soft howl that rustled the curtains. I knew the window wasn’t open when I went to bed.
Before I had the chance to sit up, a hand went over my mouth, muffling my screams. The shadow dragged me out of bed, pinning me on the floor so I couldn’t kick and punch. I was overwhelmed by the aroma of honey as the lean muscle of my assailant kept me from escaping. They were so strong.
“You have much to learn before you’re ready to become the Angel of Death,” the velvet voice whispered in my ear: Cyrus. “Relax. I’m not here to kill you. I’m here to take you. If I wanted you dead, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. Stop fighting me.”
I did as he requested, mainly because I figured if I kept it up, he’d knock me out cold and sling me over his shoulder. Considering he had the nerve to break into my room in the middle of the night, drag me out of bed and pin me down so I couldn’t move or speak, knocking me out cold wasn’t out of the question.
“Good. I’m going to ease off you now. Don’t do anything stupid,” he informed me.
What? Like call out for help?
“Precisely that,” he murmured, letting me go.
I froze up. I couldn’t help myself. He knew exactly what I was thinking. Coincidence or did being a Dream Shuffler give him limitless access to a person’s mind? Conscious, unconscious, did it make a difference? Was I actually awake or was this a dream? The last time he came to me in a dream, I felt his power splatter against my skin like rain. That sensation was absent, meaning I was awake.
“I’ll get Renée to grab your things tomorrow. Let’s go.”
“I’m not leaving without seeing Damian first,” I declared adamantly, standing up when I managed to find the strength to. My legs were like jelly. My breathing was sharp and forced. I was terrified.
“No,” Cyrus said, catching my arm and hauling me back when I tried to leave. “There’s a reason why I came here in the dead of night.”
“I already know you’re here, Cyrus,” Damian’s voice slithered through the darkness, leaving behind a cold chill. “Come back in the decent hours of the morning. I won’t ask again. This is my home, my rules. I’ve already given Joan my consent to leave. Dragging her out of bed in the middle of the night is out of line and not necessary.”
The last time I had heard Damian speak in that tone was when he was threatening Maria.
“I need to take her now while the council’s eyes are elsewhere. I didn’t use the cloak of night just to avoid you,” Cyrus spoke firmly, letting go of my arm with a sharp jerk.
“Renée is much less conspicuous than you. She can take Joan tomorrow. Get out. My patience is wearing thin. You don’t want to get on the wrong side of me, Cyrus.”
“The same can be said for me. I don’t miss.”
“I’ll always be faster. Out. Now. Last chance.”
“Care to test–” Cyrus was interrupted by a blue bolt of lightning that lit up the room in a dazzling flash. The blade in his hand crumbled to dust.
I heard a click, followed by a hush, as another blade sliced the air. I felt around for the bedside lamp so I could see what the hell was going on. Found it!
By the time my eyes adjusted to the blinding light, Damian had Cyrus pinned to the wall, making him hover off the ground. He was holding Cyrus by the throat. Damian’s other hand was gripping the hilt of the blade Cyrus had thrown. The tip dug into Cyrus’s chest, near his heart. Blood blossomed through his white shirt, travelling through the fabric at an alarming rate.
“There’s darkness in all of us. I’ve lived in darkness longer than you,” Damian spoke softly and didn’t ease off. “While I have your attention... If you get my niece killed, you will suffer a fate worse than death. Do I make myself clear?”
“Yes,” Cyrus wheezed, struggling to speak past Damian’s grip.
“When I let go, you will leave. When I let go, you will not try to outmaneuver me because you will lose. You may be the world’s most talented assassin but you’re just a mere man. I’m more powerful and a scarier monster than you. Don’t you ever forget that.”
My kind and gentle uncle had turned into a scary grizzly bear.
Damian’s hand slipped from the dagger hilt and he let go of Cyrus’s throat. “Renée will come tomorrow, alone. If you come to my home again, I won’t hold back. This was just a taste of what I can be if necessary. You don’t want to witness what I’m truly capable of. Go out the way you came.”
Cyrus ripped the dagger from his chest without flinching and moved away from Damian.
It wasn’t until after the confrontation was over that I managed to truly look at Cyrus. His eyes were the colour of the Arctic, a harsh icy environment, bitter snowflakes. His golden hair flowed down his back, to his waist. I had never seen a man with such long, silky hair. Arrogance was his resting face. His lips looked soft but his jaw was tight from the rage he felt towards Damian for kicking his ass. Despite that cold arrogance, he was handsome, gorgeous in fact.
Cyrus jumped out the window without looking back.
Damian shut the window and pulled the curtains together. He was shaking. He sat on the foot of my bed and buried his face in his hands.
“I’m sorry you had to see that. I never wanted you to see that side of me.” His words came out in a whisper.
I crawled across the bed to get to Damian and wrapped my arms around him. I felt him jump with surprise. Maybe he thought I’d be too afraid to touch him.
“That was very brave of you. Stupid, but brave.”
“He had no right to come
in like that and drag you out of bed. I lost my temper. It wasn’t stupid. Cyrus needed to learn he isn’t the best. There is always someone better than you, Joan. Always. Never be egotistical. Treat every enemy with caution, or else things like that happen. I was merciful and didn’t kill him. Your enemies won’t be as kind as me.”
“But you knew going into that fight that you were going to win. You didn’t treat him with caution.”
Damian sighed. His hands fell from his face to hold onto my arms that were still wrapped around him.
“Joan, there’s a reason why the council keeps such a close eye on me. I’m the most powerful mage in existence. I can destroy mountains, start or end wars, if I choose to unlock the full potential of my magic... but to keep my family safe, I stay in line and live a simple life. There is no one better than me. I’m not being cocky or egotistical, I’m merely stating fact. You won’t have that same luxury when you face foes. Always be cautious.”
“Alright, I will,” I said, struggling to believe what he said was true. He had no reason to lie to me.
“Get some sleep. You’re exhausted.”
“Stay with me. I don’t want to be alone.”
Damian slipped out of my hold and moved off the mattress. He walked by the edge of the bed and adjusted the pillows, placing one upright against the headboard before slipping under the covers. He put another pillow on his lap and waited for me to join him.
I made myself comfortable, lying on his lap, curled up like a cat. He held me close to him and stroked my hair, pulling up the covers around me to keep me warm.
“You’ll never be alone, ma belle ange,” he reassured me, voice gentle.
“Cyrus scares me.”
“You saw that I’m much scarier than him yet you didn’t run a mile.”
“That’s because I love you and know you would never hurt me. You protect me.”
“Always,” he murmured, kissing the top of my head. “Sleep. I’ll keep you safe.”
“What about Cyrus?”
“Worry about that later. Just sleep.”
“Okay,” I mumbled tiredly, snuggling into the pillow. “Damian?”
“Yes, my dear?”
“He won’t hurt me, will he?”
“Only if you let him. If you pull a move like I did, you’ll be fine.”
“I’m not as much of a bad ass as you, though.”
“You will be. Stop fretting. I wouldn’t be letting you go if I wasn’t confident in your ability. Sleep now. No more talking.”
“But–”
“Hush.”
“Fine,” I huffed.
Damian turned off the bedside lamp, letting darkness fill the room. He never let go of me, not for a moment. He smelled of vanilla, just a subtle scent, not overbearing. It was the soap he used, or maybe an aftershave. I’d never forget that smell. It was the smell of home.
When I opened my eyes, sunlight bathed the room in warmth. I woke, alone. I wasn’t sure how long that had been for. Damian was nowhere in sight. The bed was warm from where I had been lying so it was hard to tell. I had a feeling he didn’t leave me during the night because that’s not the sort of person he was. It would have been recently, when everyone in the house was awake. He wouldn’t have left me on my own during the night, not when Cyrus had broken into my room under the cloak of darkness.
“Morning, Joan. We met before in the park. I’m sure you remember?”
Renée was sitting on a chair by the window with packed bags by her feet; two fairly large suitcases. She was wearing a red dress. The bottom fanned out below her waist. Her black hair was tied up, all gathered to one side, the ponytail slanted over her shoulder. She was so petite. Her greenish grey eyes were kind and considerate; the colour reminded me of moss. She wasn’t wearing any makeup. She was the type of woman who could look gorgeous with or without. That made me extremely jealous.
“Damian and I packed everything for you,” she said, gesturing to the bags.
“I’m a very light sleeper. How did you manage not to wake me?”
“Carefully. I’d like to apologise on Cyrus’s behalf for last night. He had no right to do that to you. You must have been frightened half to death.”
“I was, until Damian turned up and showed Cyrus who’s boss.”
Renée laughed. “I haven’t seen Cyrus that sour in years. I couldn’t pry a single bit of information out of him. The only thing he shared was that I had to come here today. Damian told me everything this morning.”
“What’s your connection with Cyrus?”
“Someone has to keep him in line. We live together. Just friends and that’s not gonna change. Our relationship is complicated. We spend more time screaming at each other than anything. But hey, at least he doesn’t try to kill me.”
“Doesn’t it make you nervous sleeping with an assassin close by?”
“Not in the slightest. Quite the opposite, really. I feel safer.”
“Why?”
She shrugged and raised herself off the chair, shuffling past the luggage. “We’ve been friends for a very long time. We look out for each other. When you get to know us, it will be the same for you,” she paused and wrapped her hand around one of the suitcase handles. “Say your goodbyes, I’ll carry these to the car. Take your time, no rush.”
“I’m not even dressed.”
“You’re wearing shorts and a singlet. That’s clothes. You’re fine.”
“What if I don’t want to go?”
“I know you do. Move past your fears, Joan. They’re keeping you from becoming who you are meant to be. I’ll be waiting,” she said, picking up one of the suitcases before walking out of my room. “I’ll come back for the other one.”
I let out a heavy sigh and climbed out of bed. I stretched my arms, back and neck, feeling and hearing clicks. Man, that felt good.
I wasn’t sure that I was ready to leave. I knew this day would come. While being here, I had tried my best not to grow attached, knowing that I wouldn’t be staying permanently. I couldn’t help but feel sad. I’d miss Damian and Jason. I wasn’t sure if or when I’d ever see them again. I couldn’t care less about my aunt and other cousin. They never did make an effort to treat me equally. I was always a burden in their eyes. I didn’t resent them or hate them for it. Me being here made them uneasy and for a good reason. I had brought too much attention to them. Although I was no longer being hunted, I had made Damian’s family a target for the council to watch. It wasn’t my fault. I had no control of what happened to my parents. The things that followed were all Damian’s decisions. He knew the costs to keep me safe and paid them with no hesitation.
“You leaving?” Jason asked, popping his head around the corner. He didn’t have any product in his hair. I had never seen it so flat. The brown was a lot lighter in colour without hair product all through it.
“Yeah. I was never staying permanently. I’m leaving to be someone else’s problem,” I said, tying up my hair. I didn’t have any time to brush it.
I noticed that my wardrobe and drawers had been stripped bare. Renée and Damian had been extremely thorough and quiet. I really didn’t know how I managed to sleep through all of it. Either I was out like a light or they were incredibly silent.
Jason gave me a massive bear hug when I wasn’t looking; I almost jumped.
“I’ll miss ya. Stay out of trouble,” he said.
“Trouble is my middle name. If you keep hugging me like that, I might cry.”
Jason eased up and backed away. “We wouldn’t want that. Is Renée coming back for that other bag?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ll take it down for her,” he said, giving my shoulder a gentle squeeze.
Jason ruffled my hair and walked past me, grabbing the suitcase. He slung the bag over his back like it was nothing and strolled out the door, whistling. He looked like a tortoise with that massive bag on his back. He sure didn’t move like one.
“Good riddance,” Isabelle muttered from her room when I
walked by.
I stopped immediately and backtracked to her door. “You have something you want to say to my face?”
Isabelle glanced up from the book she was reading. She was sitting on the edge of her bed, legs crossed, snowy hair tied up in a high ponytail to keep her hair out of her face while she read. Her icy eyes were narrowed.
“No. That means I’ll have to acknowledge you,” she uttered, flicking the page and looking back down at her book.
“What’s your deal with me? You’ve been nothing but hostile since I got here,” I said, stepping into her room. “I’ve tried to be nice. I’ve tried to be civilised. But that didn’t get me anywhere. You pretend I don’t exist and when you do have something to say, it’s mean and rude. I haven’t done anything to you to deserve this type of treatment. I’ll ask again. What’s your deal?”
“I have nothing to say to you,” she answered bitterly, not glancing up from her book. “You’re not worth the breathing space nor the effort to explain myself. Get out of my room.”
Walk away, Joan. Walk away.
Screw that.
I snatched the book out of her hands and chucked it on the floor. She abruptly stood, shoving me aside so she had the room to stand without me in her personal space.
I saw the slap coming from a mile away and caught her wrist before her hand made contact with my face. I punched her nose, feeling the bone crack underneath my knuckles. Blood fell onto the floor like a waterfall. My hand was covered in red.
Isabelle dropped onto her bed, howling. “You bit–”
“That’s enough,” Damian interrupted Isabelle, picking me up by the waist and heaving me over his shoulder.
I didn’t bother kicking or screaming as Damian carried me out of Isabelle’s room. I did give Isabelle the one finger salute before her mother went into her room to tend to her broken nose. I dropped my hand immediately when Jacqueline turned around to glare at me. I flashed her my best innocent smile, even though I knew I was already in deep trouble. It was totally worth it and I wasn’t going to be here long enough to be given grief for what I did. Isabelle deserved it. To be honest, she was lucky I didn’t break her nose sooner. I wanted to punch her for the last month but I had been on my best behaviour so I wouldn’t be kicked out. Now that I was leaving, it seemed fitting as a parting gift. It wasn’t my fault she decided to be nasty while I was making the move to leave. That was the consequence of her bad attitude. I had no regrets. It felt satisfying.
“I’m disappointed in you, Joan.” Damian sighed, setting me down when he reached the bottom of the stairs. “Let me check your hand. You probably broke something.”
“She asked for it. I’ve been nothing but nice to her,” I mumbled.
I gave Damian my bloodied hand. I winced when he made contact. My knuckles were tender. I could wiggle my fingers without too much of an issue. It was just a little sore, thanks to the fast healing I had.
“You got lucky,” Damian said, dropping my hand. “Jealousy makes us do or say stupid things. You should have kept walking and avoided the confrontation.”
“But–”
“But nothing. You might want to leave before my lovely wife comes down here and screams at you,” he warned, hugging me.
I hugged him back. I didn’t want to leave him behind.
“Off you go,” he eventually said, pulling away from me.
I quickly slipped into some shoes, feeling my eyes brim with tears. “Will I see you again?”
“Not for a while. I’ll be keeping my distance for some time, until I need to intervene. You know how I feel about the decision you’ve made.”
“Ok,” I replied, my throat becoming tight. I hugged Damian again, holding him firmly, not wanting to let go.
Damian hugged me back; he was so warm.
Tears fell from my eyes like rain. I held back the sobs. I didn’t want him to know I was crying.
“I’ll miss you, uncle.”
“I’ll miss you too, ma belle ange,” he replied in a soft voice; I heard a crack in his words. He, like me, was trying his best not to fall apart.
“C’mon, you two. You’re gonna make me cry looking so cute,” Jason said. “Joan, what did you do to your hand?”
“She punched your sister in the face and broke her nose,” Damian said, letting go of me and moving away before I tried to hug him again. I really didn’t want to walk out that door.
“Really?” Jason asked, sounding genuinely surprised.
I nodded and laughed through my tears. “Yeah. She totally had it coming.”
“Not a word,” Damian said before Jason had the chance to agree with me. “You have about ten seconds before Jacqueline comes down here to scream at you. Off you go. You’ll regret staying any longer. Take care, my dearest niece, and remember what I said.”
“Which part?” I asked.
“Everything,” Damian said, kissing the top of my head. “Love you.”
“Love you,” I said with a choke before he shut the door.
I could already hear Jacqueline screaming. That was my cue to leave and fast.
Damian blew me a kiss and gave me an encouraging smile.
Jason was practically trying to shoo me away, snickering at his mother’s yelling. I didn’t know what he was laughing at. He was stuck inside with Damian. I think that realisation struck him because he dashed in the opposite direction. I did the very same.
I jumped into Renée’s car and put my seatbelt on. “Go, go, go!”
“What did you do?” she asked me with a tilt of her head, turning the keys to start the engine.
“I broke my bitch of a cousin’s nose. Go before my aunt drags me out of your car and kills me.”
Renée giggled and reversed out of the driveway. “I like you. Isabelle definitely had it coming.”
“I’m glad someone agrees. Everyone else is making me the bad guy.”
“Get used to it. Things are only going to get worse. I’ll do the best I can to act as a buffer where Cyrus is concerned but I can’t make any promises. When he has his mind set on something, he pushes everyone to breaking point,” she paused when she noticed my composure beginning to crack. “We don’t need to spend the car ride talking. Just relax, gaze out the window. I won’t intrude.”
“Thanks,” I replied, voice incredibly quiet.
My throat itched and my chest felt tight. Silent tears dribbled down my cheeks. I turned my face so Renée couldn’t see and gazed out the window.
I missed Damian already and it had only been a few minutes. Would I survive this training without his blessing and never seeing him? Time would tell. Right now, I couldn’t think about it.
Everlasting Flame Page 8