by S J Crabb
Chapter 28
As expected Ash takes me to the Ridge. As I sit behind him I can feel the battle within him as we speed faster and faster towards our destination. Something happened to him in that room and I just hope that he can tell me what is going on inside of him.
When we arrive for a moment he just sits looking out over the Town below. I stay silent, waiting for him to make the first move. This is for him to control and I will do everything that I can to help him.
After a while he gets off the bike and helps me off. Taking my hand he guides me over to the edge of the Ridge and pulls me down beside him. We can see the Town below us. It is as though we are on top of the world and nothing can reach us from here. Putting my head on his shoulder I wait for him to speak. As we sit here in silence I can feel the torment raging within him.
After some time he squeezes my hand and looks towards me and my heart clenches as I see the torment in his eyes. Speaking softly he tells me what he saw. “Aria showed me my past Grace. I never knew any of it and she was right it is difficult to deal with.”
Squeezing his hand back I say, “Can you tell me or is it too difficult.” He sighs heavily. “I have to Grace as what happened to me also relates to you in some way. If we are going to stand a chance you have to know the facts.” Feeling anxious I look at him and his eyes darken, drawing me inside him. He starts speaking in a low voice. “Aria and John went to school with my mother. She was beautiful, the most beautiful girl in the school. They were good people and had a happy life. Then my father came to town.”
His face tenses and he continues. “He was very much like me. The guys wanted to be in his gang and the girls in his bed. He took over the school and soon everything changed.
His story is my story Grace. History repeated itself with me. He was feared throughout the town. Nobody got in his way and he was ruthless. He had the blackest soul and showed no mercy. My mother on the other hand was very much like you. She was kind and caring and everyone liked her. Then my father decided that he wanted her. She was powerless against him. He well and truly swept her off her feet. He charmed her and then seduced her. They became a couple and I watched as she fell more and more under his spell.”
Suddenly he stops and looks at me, a tortured expression on his face. Reaching up I stroke his face and kiss him briefly on the lips. “Take your time Ash, its ok,” I say softly. Relaxing slightly he continues.
“She lost all of her friends and he kept her with him at all times. High school finished and she soon became pregnant with me. I could see that she was slowly being destroyed living with him. For such a good person to be around such evil began to take its toll. She became depressed and he didn’t care. There were many women and he flaunted them at her. He ruled the town much like my uncle does but in a far more sinister way. Your Guardians were always there for her but even they were powerless against him. When I was born I could see how happy that made her. She doted on me and devoted every waking hour to caring for me. My father on the other hand wanted me to grow up differently. He would enjoy making me do horrible things. It started off by encouraging me to be cruel to animals and other children. He delighted in seeing me do bad things and got angry when I showed weakness. If I cried he beat me until I stopped and rewarded me when I did something that pleased him. It was killing my mother. She couldn’t cope and it destroyed her.”
Breaking away Ash puts his head in his hands and I can feel the rage building inside of him. His memories are coming back and mixing with what Aria showed him and I can feel his pain. Taking a deep breath he continues.
“By the time I was five years old she couldn’t carry on. She went to him and did what he loved best, she made a deal with him. She was leaving him and despite the fact that it would break her heart she would leave me with him. She realised that he would never allow her to take me with her and she would be powerless against him. In return for keeping away from me he had to agree that I was to live with another family for my whole school life and only see him in the holidays. That way I might stand a chance at finding myself without his influence. She asked that I go to my Uncle Jake who was married at the time to a loving and kind woman. She wanted me to have a stable family life, whatever that was, and hoped that I would grow away from my father.”
Looking at me his face softens and he pulls me against him. “She did what she thought was best and tried to give me the best start that she could.” Softly I ask, “What happened to her Ash?” Angrily he says, “She couldn’t cope with what she did and ended her life. She took the easy way out Grace and left me to a life of torment with him.”
Standing up he walks away and stares out over the Town. Getting up I walk over to him and taking his hand in mine say, “Don’t judge her too harshly Ash. From what you have said there was no way that she could have come back for you. She made the deal in your best interests and probably saved you in the process. What I don’t understand though is how this relates to me.”
Turning to face me his eyes turn almost black and I can see the fire raging behind them. “Don’t you see Grace, this is history repeating itself. I want you more than anything I have ever wanted in my life. If I do as I want I will destroy you as he did my mother. I cannot change who I am it’s embedded in my soul. I will drive you away and you will be destroyed. I should have walked away from you but I couldn’t. Like I said I am selfish and want what’s best for me and damned anyone that gets in my way. I am bad news and you should run as far away from me as you can go.”
He pulls away and turns his back on me. I watch as he battles with his own emotions and I feel powerless to help him. Moving across to him I take his hand. “Come with me Ash.” In surprise he follows me and I take him to the lake. Reaching up I take the locket from around my neck and feel the immediate release that it gives me.
His eyes widen and he stares at me as though mesmerised. Removing my clothes I hold his gaze and then say softly. “Come into the water with me Ash. Take everything off and leave it behind you here. Leave those worries and memories behind on this rock and open your mind to the future instead.” I walk into the lake and gasp as I feel the cold water envelop me. Lying back I savour the feel of its soothing touch and close my eyes. I feel a splash beside me and know that he has joined me.
Reaching out I pull him against me and drawing his head down to meet mine I kiss him with my full power. I can feel it racing through his body, filling him completely, edging out the bad memories and pain and replacing it with love and hope. This is all I can do for him. By pouring my love into his soul I hope to cleanse it of his pain. This is what I can do for him. He may have seen the past today but he must also see the future.
After what seems like ages we pull apart and I relax as I see that some of the pain has left his eyes.
Taking my hands he says, “You don’t play fair Grace, it is I who am powerless against you.” Laughing I splash him with the water and soon we are engaged in a water fight, lightening the atmosphere and bringing us back to reality.
As we get out of the lake we lie side by side drying off in the sun. Leaning on my side I look lovingly at his beautiful face and say, “You are wrong about some things Ash.” Raising his eyes he says playfully, “Me wrong, you must have me confused with someone else because I am never wrong.”
I laugh. “You forget that you are only half bad. The other half of you is your mother and from what you told me she was a good person. She was also the strongest person I have ever heard of. She gave you hope when there was none. She sacrificed herself so that you would stand a chance of a better future. You cannot condemn her for that. The part of her that is in you will work alongside the part of your father that is also inside of you. Only time will tell which is the stronger. I want to help you Ash but even I recognise that this is going to be a difficult battle for you. I will be here for you though because I love you.”
I watch as millions of emotions pass across his face. Then he says sadly, “I love you too Grace. You
are the first person that I have ever loved. I have to keep you safe and guard your secret. If I fail then they will come and take you away. Even I know that I will be powerless against them. Aria showed me what would happen if I fail you and that scares me more than anything else I saw.”
I look at him in alarm. “What did you see?” Sitting up he stares angrily around him. “I saw that if you left we would both be destroyed. Your heart would be broken and your soul damaged forever. I would be in torment and live out my life in anger. It is a huge risk that we are taking and you should know of the dangers involved.”
Sitting up I put my arm around his shoulders. “We only have one more year to worry about it. After that we will be 18 and have freedom of choice. Your father will have to let you go and so will my guardians. We can then make our own way without the fear of losing each other. Nobody will find out about my secret, we will make sure of that.”
Turning around Ash says angrily, “I will protect you with everything that I have Grace. Nobody will hurt you I promise you that.”
He then reaches over and kisses me with such love mixed with desperation. His kiss fills me with the anger and worry that is inside of him and as I feel it fill my body I battle with it, vowing to help him with everything in my power.