“Not really,” he says, shaking his head. “I mean, I’m dead and this—whatever this body is—none of it is the real physical me. Not really. I assume that body is going through a state of decomposition at this point.”
I shudder at the thought.
Liam watches me closely, but my attention is drawn to the place where his thumb rubs at the top of my hand.
“You’re at an unfair advantage though, you know,” he finally says.
I raise an eyebrow. “How so?”
“You know all about me—the good, the bad, the definitely ugly. Which still amazes me… But I don’t really know much about you.”
“There really isn’t a whole lot to tell,” I say, shrugging.
“Oh, I bet that’s not true,” he says, lowering his eyebrows.
I laugh. “No, really. I’ve been a Guardian my whole existence—at least I’m pretty sure,” I say.
“And how long is that?”
I narrow my eyes, trying to think of how to put it into a linear timeframe he’d understand.
“I have had four thousand twelve charges in my time as a Guardian, but I’m not that old. Sometimes we have more than one charge at a time,” I say.
“Wow. Still, that’s…” His eyebrows edge into his hairline. “How many charges do you typically have at the same time?”
“It depends on the gravity of their life’s mission. When they’re simply here to level up, for lack of a better word, then I could have up to three. But when their purpose has moved beyond simple life experience, and instead has a critical role in creation, then there is typically just the one.”
“And how many did you have—”
“Just one,” I say, beating him to the punch.
“Oh.”
“Yeah. And I failed pretty miserably,” I say, pulling my eyebrows in.
“So, does that mean I had a bigger purpose? I mean, more than most?”
“Yeah,” I nod.
“What was I meant to do?” he asks, his thumb still circling around the space between my thumb and index finger. “I mean, would it hurt to tell me now?”
My insides flutter with excitement, and I suddenly wish I could feel his touch on more than just my hand. I’ve spent my entire existence separate from reality. I’ve never taken a partner. Never felt the touch of someone who makes me feel even remotely the way Liam does.
“You were… uh…” I begin, trying to push past the sensory overload and put my answer into words. “I don’t remember.”
Liam chuckles. “You don’t remember? Or you can’t tell me?”
“Well, maybe a bit of both?” I say, tilting my head to the side and narrowing my eyes.
“Hmmm. Sounds a bit sketchy to me.”
The truth is, for the life of me, I can’t remember the logistics of what he was meant to do. I just remember it was deeply important. But I suppose at this juncture, it doesn’t really matter anymore. The universe will probably find someone else to fill his shoes.
“I’m not really…” I say, biting my lip. “For some reason, I can’t really remember. But it’s hard to think with you touching me like that.”
He looks down at the place where our hands connect. “Really? I’m just holding your hand.”
“I know. But I’ve never experienced it before. Not like this.”
His eyes widen and his mouth opens slightly. “Oh, right. I keep forgetting you weren’t human. Your laws of physics must have been so different than mine.”
“You have no idea,” I whisper.
“Tell, me—are angels not allowed to touch each other? Didn’t you have someone…” he asks, his question lingering between us.
“No one,” I answer sharply, shaking my head.
“But why?” he says, his thumb continuing to caress the top of my hand and making it impossible to think clearly.
I shrug, “It’s not that partnering wasn’t allowed. But it’s different as angels. It’s more about amplifying powers and strengths. Less about the connection or… attraction.”
My heart skips beats and I look up into his serious, sexy eyes.
“That sounds like a sad sort of existence,” he says, placing his other hand alongside my cheek.
“It could be,” I concede, leaning into his heavenly touch.
“So, this… you’ve never felt someone else’s hands on you?” he asks, carefully treading the waters of personal questions.
My lips purse, and I shake my head.
“How does it feel now? Is this okay?” he asks, tilting his head to the side.
I exhale and smile. “It feels incredible.”
His lips slide into a huge grin and the creases on the sides of his eyes deepen.
“Oh, good,” he says. “I wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
“Not at all. If you only knew how many times I’ve daydreamed—” I say, cutting myself short and covering my lips with my fingertips.
Liam’s lips twitch. “You’ve daydreamed about my touch?”
“Well, I mean—I…”
His grin is infectious and I can’t help but roll my eyes despite my flaming cheeks.
“You’re beautiful when you’re embarrassed. I mean, look at those cheeks,” he says, brushing my right cheek again with his fingertips. “It certainly brings out the blue in your eyes. And I have to say, it’s pretty flattering, Eva. I mean, how many other men can say their Guardian Angel has been infatuated with them?”
I tilt my head to the side, “I don’t know if I’d go that far…”
Again, he raises an eyebrow and I sigh in defeat.
“Okay, maybe it was that far,” I say, scrunching my nose.
His eyes sparkle with mischief and for a moment, it’s like all of time and space stands still.
Taking a deep breath, again his tongue darts across his lips, drawing my eyes to their shape. It sends shots of electricity through my body and suddenly, more than anything I want to know what kissing him would be like. What it would feel like.
Without another word, as if reading my mind, he slides his right hand firmly behind my neck and pulls me into him. I suck in a breath, waiting for the inevitable—both fearing and longing for it.
Chapter 11
What it Feels Like to Be Alive
His earthy scent of moss and pine needles greets me first, invading my senses and, like a beacon, guiding me closer. My insides constrict and my heartbeat thrums loudly in my ears; daring me to pay attention to anything but the fear and excitement welling inside me.
At first, his lips gently brush mine, sparking at the place where our skin touches. I lean into it, not wanting to miss a single detail. I focus on every ounce of pressure, every microcosm of energy as it explodes on impact, both across my skin and inside me. His hand remains firm and strong behind my head, urging me to give in as much as I dare. His nose presses softly against my cheek, while his teeth tug at my lower lip, testing me to see how I respond.
When I lean forward, placing my hands on either side of his face and pressing in harder, his tongue flicks the edges of my lips, making every nerve ending in my body vibrate. He tastes like oranges smell and it makes me wonder how it’s even possible.
Yet, if this is what it feels like to be alive—I’ve never been so happy to be shunned from Heaven and Earth and sent to Purgatory. I would do everything—all of it—over again.
As my back arches in response, a deep, throaty growl erupts from Liam’s chest and he prowls forward, dropping me onto my back in the grass. Of their own accord, my arms move lower, sliding just beneath his arms and groping at his strong shoulders as he lowers himself against me.
His lips break from mine, instead finding a home at the nape of my neck. My breath hitches and I find myself raising my hips slightly in rhythm to his lower body’s movements. There’s literally nothing I’ve ever wanted more than I want Liam. All of him.
“Eva,” he moans against my skin.
With my eyes closed, I smile contently. I’ve prayed to hear
my name on his lips, and more than just as a word. I’ve prayed to hear them as a prelude to this. To what I hope this might be.
Liam suddenly props himself up on both hands, his breath unsteady and jagged as he stares down at me with dreamy eyes.
“Eva, you—” he begins, “you’re so beautiful and so…”
I search his face, wishing I could read his mind and still hear his thoughts or sense his feelings. Instead, I have to study his body and face to find my answers.
“Liam, is everything—?” I ask, my question lingering between us.
He grins, shaking his head ever so slightly.
“I feel like I’ve somehow cheated death. Or cheated fate. How can I possibly be this happy when I’m not even alive?” he asks, brushing a strand of hair from my forehead. “Shouldn’t death be… I don’t know? The end of things? Not the beginning?”
I rub my hands over his shoulders. The strong muscles on his back cover the place where an angel’s energetic wings would be. Where mine would have been, had I not been stripped of them. While not seen by the naked eye, they’re necessary to move between realms.
“I’ve been thinking something very similar,” I say, bending up to leave one last, soft kiss on his lips.
Liam’s eyebrows tug in slightly and he sighs. “I hope I haven’t been too forward with you. It’s just… I don’t know. There’s such a strong connection with you, Eva. It’s like, even if I wanted to take my time with you, there’s this sense of urgency. Like I need to act now, or everything will slip away. I guess being dead can do that to a person.” He chuckles and lowers himself down just to my left. The warmth of his body radiates into my hip and the sensation of his own sexual excitement isn’t lost on me. It sends a shiver radiating through me, and my eyes flit to the last place we saw the demon—because if this continues, I don’t want an audience. Especially not him.
Returning my gaze to Liam, I run my fingertip along his left eyebrow and smile. “You know, I have waited for this moment for what seems like forever. Even before you ever existed.”
“How could you want this if I didn’t exist?” he asks, playfully running his hand along my clavicle.
“I knew I wanted love. I wanted what humanity had—a special connection. But it wasn’t until you were in existence, that I realized I could actually feel something like love. This kind of love.”
“So, you had the hots for me when I was a kid?” he laughs.
I roll my eyes and grin. “No—it wasn’t like that. I knew you were special then. I knew I had to protect you, guide you to the best of my ability. But, never in a million years did I realize this is what would become of it. As you aged, the connection I had to you just grew into something I couldn’t control. It was unexpected and scary…”
“Scary?” he asks, his brows knitting together.
“Yes. It’s against our law, Liam. And yet, I couldn’t control it. I couldn’t change how I felt, and I knew it could lead me to—well, here. Now that I have the opportunity to express my love, I don’t want to waste a second of it, either,” I whisper. “That is, if you’ll have me.”
Liam’s eyes sparkle and he leans over, propping his head on his right hand. With his left, he traces the contours of my face. “Then we’re in agreement. We’re in this together and we’ll move forward wherever it leads us.”
I swallow hard, getting flashes of our naked bodies intertwining, skin on skin. My face flushes, but I ignore it. “Absolute agreement,” I concede.
“Good,” he says, grinning. “I have something I want to show you.” He pushes himself up to his knees, then stands. Extending his hand out to help me up, he flicks the tips of his fingertips and quirks a smile.
My eyebrows tug downward in surprise. It’s not the direction I thought this was heading.
“Okay?” I say, confusion painting my tone.
“You’ll love it. Trust me,” he says.
“I do trust you,” I say, taking his offering and standing back up. I brush off the grass and dirt from the bottom of my dress and straighten my shoulders.
“Excellent,” he says, holding his hand out again.
I slide my fingers between his and his palm presses against mine the way I’ve seen him do with so many others. My heart trips over itself and I fall in line, ready to follow wherever he leads.
We walk for a few minutes into the tree line along a path he must have already beaten back. For some reason, I feel like it should be more difficult, but can’t put my finger on why.
“How long were you here before I arrived, Liam?” I finally ask.
He looks over his shoulder at me and presses his lips into a thin line. “You know, I’m not quite sure. Why?”
“Just curious,” I say, eyeing the trodden path. “Was it days?”
“Maybe? I honestly don’t remember much before you arrived. It was all sort of a blur as I tried to figure out where I was. This has been an odd experience from beginning to end, that’s for sure.”
I tip my chin, thinking. “I can imagine.”
He squeezes my hand and continues to lead us through the thicket. When the trees begin to diminish, twinkling lights capture my attention on the path ahead.
“What is that?” I ask.
Liam grins back at me. “You’ll see. We’re almost there.”
As we crest a small hill, the trees open up to a patch of sand and before us is a beautiful beach. The sun twinkles against the surface of the lake like lightning bugs dancing in the evening air. To the right is a small waterfall, adorned with some of the most colorful array of wildflowers I’ve ever seen.
“It’s breathtaking,” I say, pulling up short and overlooking the scene.
“I knew you’d like it. By far, it’s the prettiest place I’ve found here,” he says.
“Why didn’t you just set up camp here?” I ask, turning to him.
His face darkens and he shakes his head. “I tried. It’s not the same at night. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but it’s downright scary.”
“Really?” I say, my eyes widening as I search the area.
“Yea, but during the day, it’s a peaceful sanctuary. So, don’t worry. I wouldn’t bring you here if I thought something bad would happen.”
I nod, casting my gaze back over the water. It’s not that I’m overly afraid for myself, but without my powers, it would be harder to protect Liam.
The waves lap back and forth, sending a peaceful tranquility through me and setting my nerves at ease. For every story I’ve heard of Purgatory, this certainly isn’t the place I’d envisioned. For some reason, I suppose I saw something more akin to what Hell should be. But this—
“Come to think of it, I have been here a few days. I’ve come out here a few times now and the water is glorious this time of day,” he says, leading the way down to the sandy beach.
As we reach the shore, he drops my hand to untie his shoes. Kicking them off, he slips off his socks and sets them aside.
“You’re not afraid of the water, are you Eva?” he says, his eyes sparkling mischievously.
“Of course not,” I say, snickering softly.
I walk out into the sand, letting the warm granules tickle my toes. By the time I reach the shore, Liam has removed every shred of clothing from his body. Without an ounce of embarrassment, the right side of his lips curve upward in a sexy grin that sets my insides aflame.
My mouth pops open in surprise, but he points to the pile of clothes. “I don’t know about you, but I only arrived with one outfit. It’s no fun to walk around in wet clothes, waiting hours for them to dry,” he says.
I nod absently, unable to make words come out. Instead, I can’t seem to tear my eyes away from taking all of him in—from his sexy smile to the way his chest muscles glisten in the sun’s rays, to the line traveling down his core and the curves of his hips leading to…
“I don’t mind,” I say, blinking wildly as my eyes return to his.
“I hoped you wouldn’t,” he laughs.
I take a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves.
“But I kinda hope you’ll join me, too,” he adds playfully.
With more assurance than I actually feel, I walk back to him. Raising my hands to the front of my dress, I begin to unbutton it. My hands quiver, but I hope he can’t see it. Neither of us remove our eyes from the other’s the entire time. It’s a strange, sexy connection; like a cord of electricity binding us together. When I reach the bottom, Liam steps closer. Without a word, he slides his hands inside the fabric, running his palms over my skin as he shifts the garment from my shoulders. His hands are warm and ignite a wanting I didn’t even know was possible by such a simple touch. I lower my hands, allowing the garment to fall to the ground with a soft thump.
For a moment, he holds still. Taking in my naked skin as his hands linger on my upper arms. Heat rolls off his body, making me shiver at his proximity. His dark lashes kiss his cheeks as he silently places his hands on my hips. Standing before him in only a pair of pink panties, I eye him for a moment, wondering if he’ll help me out of them.
“My God, you are so beautiful,” he whispers, running his hands along my arms. “You really are an angel.”
Goosebumps flash across my skin and I slide my fingertips inside the fabric, tugging them off. When they hit the ground, I kick them over to the heap of clothing to our right.
“You’re beautiful, too,” I say, stepping forward.
I reach behind him, resting my hands on the small of his back. His muscles tighten beneath my touch and his tongue flashes across his lips.
“We should—ah—” he begins, “the water is…” He twists around, reaching for my hand, and dragging me toward the water.
Our feet hit the edge of the lake, splashing and sloshing as we move deeper and deeper. The water is cool, sending shivers through me as I follow in anticipation of what he has in store for us.
Chapter 12
Could This Be Eden
When we’ve reached a point in the water where it has swallowed our lower bodies and is edging toward our torsos, Liam turns back to me. Releasing our interlocked hands, he extends his arms out and tugs me closer.
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