by Eden O'Neill
“Fucking these two.” Jax dropped his arms around both Royal and Knight, getting grunts from them both. Jax laughed. “So in love the both of them.”
Jax puckered his lips at them, and when I did too, Knight tackled my ass clear off my folding chair. Royal got Jax, and both Jax and I couldn’t keep our shit together, roaring in laughter.
It was well-known in our crew how fucking right Jax was. Since our buddies Knight and Royal had girls, they’d been nothing but doe-eyed and fucking whipped.
Of course, Jax and I loved the girls they chose. Knight’s girl, Greer, was awesome. At least what I knew about her since I just met her over break, and Royal’s girl, December, was basically a part of the family. She was family, and we all adored her. Having girls around, though, did make it hard for us guys to even schedule boxing days, let alone have them. That was saying something considering we only met up once a term, and I barely saw Knight’s ass at all over the holidays. Between his mom’s recovery and his new girlfriend, our boy was basically absent.
The four of us wrestled around until the owner of the gym gave us looks, and after, Knight ended up being the one to pull me to my feet. Royal got Jax, and as a unit, we decided on an early lunch before we all had to head back on the road for school.
“I can handle Billie Coventry,” I told the guys once we got outside. “She’s just a thorn in my side. She’s my TA this term, and she seems hellbent on failing my ass.”
This had Royal and Knight exchanging glances, and when they howled back in laughter outside of our cars both Jax and I frowned.
“What?” I asked, Jax clearly confused too. Knight dropped his arms around us both, and Royal tapped Knight’s chest.
“We’ve just heard that before. Haven’t we, Knight?” Royal chuckled. He seriously couldn’t get his shit together, holding his stomach even.
Knight barked his laugh. “Sure have. Good luck with that one, eh, buddy?” He nudged me. “And try not to let her get you killed. I wouldn’t be fucking with no mob. Bold even for me. But I guess if that pussy’s good…”
I growled, but all my friends did was laugh, Jax too. I wasn’t fucking with Billie, at least not like that. Besides, I’d already done the job I’d set out to do. Billie Coventry was dripping hot pussy, pussy I’d owned, and now that I’d gotten what I wanted, there was no reason to fuck with her anymore.
No matter how much I kept thinking about her.
I swallowed, my friends’ laughter dying around me. I shifted the conversation to food, and Knight gratefully moved on. The guy could eat an entire restaurant, and after all this shit, I was ready for a damn beer to go with it too.
Chapter Eleven
Billie
Professor Douglas drowned me in course work for his classes over the next few weeks. Between grading exams and essays for him and my own school work, I was basically buried, but I didn’t complain because all the work kept my mind busy. I didn’t have to think about anything else, LJ and what happened in particular. Funny enough, I didn’t even think I’d ever see any recourse for what happened between him and me. At least, when it came to Professor Douglas. LJ obviously had the guy by the balls in some way, none of my business. What truly bothered me was not only that his touches had happened, but that I had let them happen.
I’d begged for it.
I’d sat in the back of that classroom, quivering in my seat, and asked him to fuck me with his fingers. The whole thing was horrifying, and I could only blame myself. I rationalized perhaps the breakup with Sinclair had been harder on me than I’d believed. I’d been freshly coming off it and given in to a need to feel good. That had been my excuse, but LJ hadn’t had one at all. He didn’t know I’d broken up with Sinclair and definitely hadn’t cared that I had a boyfriend. He’d just wanted to win. He’d wanted to break me, and I’d basically handed that triumph to him on a silver platter.
My only saving grace as the term continued on was that LJ didn’t show up for recitation at all after that, clearly forfeiting that part of his grade. Honestly, it didn’t matter considering how much his extra credit assignment bumped his scores up. He’d surprisingly aced the paper, and I wondered why he’d crashed and burned so badly on his initial exam in the first place. He clearly understood the material once he actually put some effort into it. I didn’t think long about that since I just wanted to rid my thoughts of him and everything that surrounded him. I rarely saw him in lecture either, outside of test and quiz days that is. But each time he showed up and his examination managed to make it into my hands, his scores were always on the up. I assumed he was renting the films at home and watching them outside of class. Whatever he was doing, it was working for him and him not being in class at all was working for me. It kept my nose in the books and reaching toward the end of my first year as a graduate student, which was what was most important to me anyway.
I visited with my mom a lot after the “incident in question” with LJ, and oddly enough, she asked about him on occasion. I guessed he’d told her we went to the same school at some point, and eventually, I did admit to her that he was in one of my classes. I passed it off, of course. That I hadn’t realized he’d been the one I caught her with that day. She only asked about him in passing because like he said, they’d just had a good time together, and at least, I didn’t have to worry about coming home over the weekends and finding him naked in her bed again. I wanted my mom to have a social life but definitely not with the guy who finger-fucked me in the back of my classroom.
Obviously, I left that bit out during my visits with mom.
There were a few things I had to tiptoe around. Obviously, my drunken night was one of embarrassment and had totally confused my mom until I explained what happened with Sinclair. She let me hear it for that since she always loved him, and I rolled my eyes because I think she liked the idea of him more than actually adoring him. She liked his upbringing, who he was and what he came from. She liked his status and that, maybe, I wouldn’t repeat the same mistakes she had. She’d wanted me to make my marriage last. Not let the guy throw me away and basically outcast us from many sides of our family. We’d basically been shunned after the divorce, our dirty laundry out there. A scandal.
“Would have been a smart match,” she’d said one day over her margarita. Once again, day drinking while she made me pancakes. She’d sighed. “There’s nothing you can do about it, darling? He’s such a fine boy.”
Honestly, the whole conversation had made me sick. Sick that was all she thought I needed for myself to succeed, a man to carry me through life when clearly that hadn’t worked out for her. I only kept my opinions to myself during our visits because I loved her and I knew, despite what she allowed me to believe with her active social lifestyle, that she was hurting. I called so I knew at least she’d been going to her therapy visits, and after that night she’d had to come get my butt at the club, she hadn’t brought up my drunk escapade anymore. That’d be the last one as far as I was concerned, no time for it. I put my head where it needed to be.
Right back in the books.
After bringing my mom some groceries one day, I took the rest back home. I tended to shop for her too when I thought about it, getting her something better than booze and grapefruit. I tried to stuff her cabinets with essential food groups, and even though she gave me hell about it since she had “a girl” to do that, she took the food because she got to visit with me too. My mom held a strong upper lip after her divorce with Daddy, but she needed me. We needed each other. We always had the other, and that wouldn’t change just because I was in school. She was the reason I’d moved home in the first place after all. I’d had a full ride to my alma mater on the coast, but I’d wanted to be home, be close to her. It was the only way I’d know she was okay, and knowing that kept me okay too.
I juggled the rest of my groceries with my key, closing the door of my Land Rover with my hip. It was gratefully not raining today since we were well into spring, and I was happy to see such sun shining days aft
er such a cold and slushy winter. Another good thing about going to school on the coast was I didn’t have to deal with the Midwest’s sometimes temperamental weather. One day, it could be blistering hot, the next, snow, and that was all in the same season. Today, we’d gratefully had sun as it set, and I prepared for a long night of studying and I Love Lucy episodes.
Oddly enough, the classic playing in the background helped me focus, and I planned on making a homemade meal of fettuccine Alfredo to go with it. Sorting through my keys, I found the right one around my groceries, jumping as I approached the front door and noticed a man sitting on my stoop. He had his head down, playing with his fingers, but as soon as he heard me approach, he stopped.
I froze at the sight of my ex, still in his business suit from the day. Standing, he tugged at his suit, and despite wearing it and looking professional, he appeared too worse for wear. For starters, he had bags under his eyes, his cheeks hallow and his hair messy like he hadn’t been sleeping or eating well. He approached, lifting a hand. “Hey, Bill.”
Hey… Bill? I’d neither seen nor heard from the guy since he’d broken up with me toward the middle of the semester and he was here now?
Curious, I stayed put, and he noticed. He stopped right there in the middle of the walk, waiting for me. I hugged my grocery sacks. “Hi.”
“Hey,” he repeated, dragging seemingly restless fingers through his hair. He put a hand out. “Eh, uh. Let me help you with those—”
“Oh. You don’t have to.” To make the point, I waltzed right passed him, a visible drop to his shoulders. Finding all this fucking weird, I scaled the steps, and while I wrestled with my keys, a soft heat lingered behind me. He hovered close, and I shut my eyes. “What are you doing?”
Almost instantly, he backed off, and though he started to reach for my groceries again, he stopped. “Can I just help you with your stuff? I want to talk… please?”
“You want to talk?” I shifted around, completely forgetting about my keys and the door. “You want to talk now? What could you possibly have to say to me? I think you let me know exactly what your thoughts were when you tossed me on my ass.”
Which still hadn’t made sense to me. I literally played that conversation over and over again in my head, and I definitely should have been the one upset. For so many reasons.
He visibly tensed. “I know, and I know I don’t deserve your attention, but I am asking for it. Two seconds. Won’t take me long.”
He was still terribly handsome despite how God awfully worn-out he looked, and I hated I still had a soft spot for him. We had a history, one where I did think that one day we may be end game. That all had come crashing down when he’d broken up with me out of nowhere, but nodding, I did let him help me by taking the groceries.
I was completely frazzled as I let him into my home, a place literally no one else had been inside but me the passing months. I had friends here, but they were all involved with other things, their own lives.
With Sinclair handling the groceries, I took off my jacket at the door. He knew right were to go, of course, heading in the direction of the kitchen, and sighing, I followed him after hooking my coat. I found him putting everything away in its proper places. Everything but the bread, and I stopped him. “I keep that in the fridge now.”
It kept it fresher longer, at least that had been my logic. That’s how we kept it at my parents’ house growing up, but Sinclair had always left it out so I’d adjusted.
Nodding, he didn’t protest before putting it inside the chrome refrigerator. After, he slid his hands in his pockets, and I invited him to come sit at my dining room table.
He gazed around before sitting himself in the oak chair. “Looks like you changed things a little.”
I’d basically been living out of boxes before, having just moved in, so I guess I had. Even still, I didn’t want to talk about the state of my rental. I hugged my arms. “What’s this about? Why are you here?”
The restless way he tugged and pulled at his dark hair told me he definitely had something on his mind. A heavy something. He laced his fingers together. “I think I made a mistake, Bill. A mistake about us?” He shook his head. “We never should have broken up.”
Shocked, but honest to God I couldn’t keep my laughter in. I sat back. “Well, that’s nice. How many vaginas did you have to fall into in order to figure that out?”
His cringe was evident, and hearing that, I swore he actually looked sick to his stomach. He shook his head. “Don’t say that. It wasn’t about sex.”
“Obviously, since we barely had any.” I mean, I pretty much had to beg him to touch me, always an excuse about being busy or tired. “So you’ve figured out we’re supposed to be together?”
“Yeah, I have, and I just want you to hear me out. I was confused.”
“Confused about what?”
“I don’t know. Us?” He waved a hand back and forth. “I mean, we got together, and it was like ‘Hear Comes the Bride’ was playing on loop after our first date. Especially from my parents.”
“I never pressured you to get married.”
“I know, but maybe you should have.” Suddenly, his hands found mine, and for whatever reason, I didn’t pull away. “Maybe you should have made me man up.”
“That’s not my responsibility, Sinclair.”
“I know, and I also know now that the possibility of you and me being final scared me, but it doesn’t now. You know my brother got engaged? Jack?”
I may have heard about it like three times from Mom. She kept up with all that stuff, stuff in our circles when I couldn’t have cared less. I shrugged. “So?”
“Well, he’s so happy, Billie,” he stated, smoothing his hands over mine, and I hated that it felt good. I loathed that if felt familiar, and I latched onto it like treasure. I’d been so lonely lately, the only fire I’d had…
I forced stupid thoughts away, staring at my ex now. “He was happy. So what?”
“So I realized how stupid I was to let you go. Us go?” His hands tightened around mine. “I thought I was confused about some things, but I know we’re right. We’re perfect for each other, Billie. Your family likes me, and mine loves you.”
That’s what I’d thought too, which had been why I was so confused when he’d thrown us so casually away. I’d felt so bitter after, vulnerable, and I’d done stupid things.
I thought about LJ’s hands on me, that fire burning and a moment that never should have happened. It should have always been Sinclair and me.
I guessed I’d been confused too.
“I just want a chance,” he said, swallowing hard. “We can start fresh. Start from scratch.”
I pulled my hands away, sliding back to me. “You hurt me. It hurt a lot, and I don’t think I can just…”
“So how about we just hang out then?” He laced his fingers with mine, and this time, I didn’t let go. He smiled a little. “We can come back to each other. Slow. Just hang out. Friends at first.”
Gazing up, I wanted nothing more than that. I wanted it because it was easy and he was right, we were perfect for each other. We were a delightful little equation of pristine numbers and exquisite figures that ultimately added up to the perfect arrangement. Perfect was easy.
Perfect wouldn’t get me in trouble.
Chapter Twelve
LJ
I spied them from my seat on the couch, Niko beside me and a girl under my arm while I drew off a beer. It took me a second to realize exactly what I was seeing, Billie and that asswipe ex-boyfriend of hers. Oh, I knew all about them, how he’d broken up with her after I’d basically busted out his ass right in front of her. He’d come to one of my parties all right, had a good time, and I’d made sure she knew about it. I’d heard he’d broken up with her shortly after that, though…
The breakup seemed to be long in the past as he got a hold of the back of her dress, sheer and as blood red as her hair. The silk barely covered her ass, her black stockings the only thing keeping
her “boyfriend” from exposing her goods to me and just about every other guy in this room. The party was hopping, but a peek at the most delightful peach I’d ever seen would definitely get a few looks.
I growled, this dude basically flaunting her. Hand on that peach now, he hugged her up to him while they chatted with friends when he’d looked like nothing but a scared-ass Boy Scout the last time he’d been in front of me. And that had been at both parties, a timid little prick that didn’t go around working up flames.
Those flames worked up tonight, my hand curling around my beer bottle, but my observance distracted when Niko nudged my arm. He noticed the pair too, smirking in that direction.
“Looks like she took him back,” he said, his smile coy before he took a drag off his beer. He swallowed it down. “Silly little Queen B.”
Silly was right considering what her boy over there got up to that night at my party. At least, that’s what I had heard. He’d made quite an impression that night, a real party virgin as he not only hadn’t been able to hold his liquor, he’d completely let go of his inhibitions. I mean, he had a girlfriend, but she didn’t seem to be in his sights at all that night.
At least, from what I’d heard.
My smile wide, I touched a hand to Niko’s shoulder. “You know who he was hanging with that night? At our party, I mean?”
We’d been invited to this one, hence running into the beauty queen and her boy toy tonight. We obviously had some of the same friends and had I known she’d be here I would have stayed far the fuck away anyway. I’d been trying to avoid her since that incident in the classroom. I’d gotten what I wanted, her sweet little pussy, and I didn’t need anything else.
My mouth dry, I gazed at my friend, the guy clearly scanning his brain like a super computer. My buddy cataloged people and good pussy away like a filing cabinet, but considering all the people he knew, he might have to dust off some of those files.