“Yes, sure,” Lady Hannah said without a second thought as she sat up straight on the settee. Her parents sat beside her and she knew whatever they had to discuss was important.
“So what is this all about?” Lady Hannah asked looking at her parents and their hopeful faces.
“Don’t you love getting straight to the point!” Lord Henry pointed out, laughing.
“Yes! I’m a very busy woman you see. I’ve got to finish this book by tomorrow and the two of you are taking my time and slowing me down!” Lady Hannah said jokingly but also half serious.
“Well, Hannah, your Father and I have given this some thought before coming to you to discuss this with you. The thing is a very nice and eligible young man has asked for your hand in marriage. He’s a son of a very rich friend of your Father’s…” Lady Claire explained cautiously to her unpredictable daughter.
“His name is Duke Matthew Gerrard and he’s from a very nice family. He’s got his own business that runs very well. He’s a landowner of numerous estates around here and he’s very handsome. I’ve met him once at a dinner party at the Gerrard’s. He was quite the gentleman, very kind and polite,” Lady Claire said describing the suitable match.
Lady Hannah listened to her Mother closely; she knew that both her parents wanted her agreement on the matter for they were already in favor of him. So she stayed quiet, she didn’t really have any objections.
“Now I want you to know, that you need to make this decision for yourself. Your Mother and I believe that he will keep you truly happy and be a very good husband to you but my dear, it is you who needs to make the final decision. Think about it and let us know,” Lord Henry said addressing his daughter and clearing everything out as best as he could.
It was comforting to hear those words and know that the control of the situation was still in her hands. She softly smiled at her parents.
“Okay Mother and Father, I will give it some thought and let you know,” Lady Hannah said maturely.
Lady Claire and Lord Henry looked at each other a little surprised; neither of them were expecting such a calm response from Lady Hannah.
“Alright, dear,” Lord Henry said happily, glad that things went well and kissed her on the forehead as he got up to leave.
“We’ll let you finish that book then,” Lady Claire said kissing her on the cheek as she followed Lord Henry out of the room.
Lady Hannah put the book aside to give the new situation before her a good think through. Should I? Or should I not? Am I even ready? I don’t even know who he is, what if I don’t ever come to love him? Her maturity faded and panic took over. Reading the book was out of the question now, her mind kept wandering off into the thought of marrying Duke Matthew.
All day she thought about what answer to give to her parents, an answer that would justify both what was good for her and for her parents. They wanted nothing more than to see her happy, that she knew very well.
In the evening, she made her way to the living room where both her parents were discussing something.
“Mother, Father, may I speak with both of you?” Lady Hannah knocked on the door politely even though it was open a little.
“Yes come in, my dear,” Lord Henry beckoned her.
“Is everything alright Hannah?” Lady Claire asked instinctually.
“Yes, everything is fine, Mother. I thought about what you both spoke of earlier, and I’ve decided to give this a chance,” Lady Hannah said clear cut in one sentence.
“Oh really, Hannah?! That’s wonderful news! Oh you’ll love him! He’s perfect for you! I’m so happy to hear that, Hannah!” Lady Claire said excitedly almost jumping up and down.
“Wonderful news, my dear!” Lord Henry said embracing his daughter. With the love she received from her parents alone, it already felt like it was the right decision, even if it was not the best one for her heart. She knew that sometimes she had to sacrifice to keep the ones she loved happy, just so they could smile even though her smile was long gone.
Whoever Duke Matthew was, it didn’t matter to her so much, her wedding talk was bringing enough joy to her family, and she was just glad to be the reason for it. She knew that some people got the love they were destined for, not the one they wanted for themselves, but either way it was love and nothing else.
I will learn to live with a strange love and I will make it my own, this I promise to myself. And someday I will forget Duke Anthony.
Chapter 10
No more than a month later and Lady Hannah’s wedding day was fast approaching. Duke Matthew and herself had met a few times and it had gone well. There was no spark or chemistry but they got along and he did manage to make her laugh at times. He was quick to propose as he was very fond of her and Lady Hannah had no reason to say no, so she accepted. The entire house was ecstatic about her sudden wedding and preparation had begun to make the event as memorable as possible. Lady Hannah took little interest in her own wedding; she complied with her duties but did not tend to anything extra as her interest in those things was quite low. She had accepted Duke Matthew as her betrothed and that was all. He did not have her heart and she doubted that he ever would. Two days before her wedding day, Hannah had a most unexpected surprise that brought up old feelings she had believed she had buried forever.
“Look who is here to see you, our blushing bride to be!” Lady Claire said cheerily, walking into Lady Hannah’s room with someone holding on to her arm.
“Aunt Isabelle!” Lady Hannah almost shrieked too loudly at the sight of her Aunt.
“It’s so good to see you!” Lady Hannah said embracing her tightly.
“Good to see you too my little and beautiful niece!” Aunt Isabelle said clasping her hands on Lady Hannah’s face and kissing her on the cheek.
“What a surprise this is! I thought you couldn’t make it! I was so upset to find out!” Lady Hannah said still holding her Aunt’s hand.
“I could never miss your wedding, my gorgeous Hannah. I’ve waited quite some time to see you in that wedding dress and now I wouldn’t do the effort of coming over? Never! That’s even much too ridiculous to say!” scoffed Aunt Isabelle as she did so when she was joking, too.
“I’m glad you’re here, the wedding would not be the same without you,” Lady Hannah said lovingly.
“Well I’ll leave you two to catch up, I’ve got to check some things with the chef too, so please excuse me,” Lady Claire said excusing herself to run off.
The moment the two of them were alone, Aunt Isabelle’s face became a little more serious and she looked at Lady Hannah immediately. She knew in that instant that Aunt Isabelle had come for something more.
“Hannah, I have something to give to you before your Mother returns,” Aunt Isabelle said in a hushed tone.
“What is it?” Lady Hannah asked with her eyebrows raised and a questioning expression on her face.
Aunt Isabelle handed her a letter, unnamed but anyone who had seen or met Duke Anthony knew that the letter was from him at one glance.
“I’ll leave you in peace to read the letter,” Aunt Isabelle said as she, too, got up and left.
At first, Lady Hannah thought it was some kind of joke. A letter from Duke Anthony? Now? Two days before my wedding? This can’t even be real?!
She opened the letter hesitantly and read what it had to say.
Hannah, I know you weren’t expecting this letter and I’m certain that you have probably not yet forgiven me for never coming back to you. I thought it was better if you didn’t know, but I guess that isn’t always the case. I have gone far from here now, everything reminds me of you and it hurts too much to be so close to you without being able to have you. I couldn’t marry you, it’s true. But not for the reasons you may think.
The truth is, I didn’t tell you the entire truth about my wife. I loved her dearly, and because of me she was murdered, as a sort of sick revenge. I was being forced to sell some of my estates and give up their ownership but I refused and stood strongl
y against the elite masses that were forcing me to do this. As a result of angering them, they murdered my wife. I can never forgive myself for what my greediness did to her, till this day I have not forgiven myself and thus, I did not like talking about her, because I was guilty of it all.
I promised to never love again but then even without wanting to, I fell in love with you deeply. I thought about it a lot before I came to visit you for the umbrella, which was just an excuse to see you again, but once I got to know you I couldn’t help but want to see you again and again. I didn’t have the control to stay away from you and so I let myself indulge in loving you and being loved by you. When you mentioned marriage, it hit me. I remembered the entire incident with my wife as though it was just yesterday and I knew I could never ever let that happen to you. It was too much. And so, I had to make the painful choice of walking away. I could never put you in any risk like that, and this was the best way to make sure you never would be. I wish that you find a greater love than ours, but I will be selfish enough to say, that please, never forget me. I will always love you, and it was because I loved you so much that I had to do this. Please forgive me, I didn’t leave you, I had to keep you safe. Love, Duke Anthony.
She read the letter, her heart sinking. He had done all this for her, and now that she knew the truth maybe it was better not knowing. Her wedding day was in two days. I never wanted a fairytale, anyway.
Epilogue
As scheduled, Lady Hannah wed Duke Matthew two days later. She shook her head softly, shocked that this day had arrived. She never thought she could ever marry anyone besides Duke Anthony. She smiled up at Duke Matthew as they began to recite their wedding vows.
He is handsome and so kind. Fate has a way of placing the unexpected in your path but most times it’s for the best.
I wished for more and I had it, but then again it wasn’t mine to keep. Is it better to love someone you can’t have? Or love no one so deeply at all?
“I do”, said Duke Matthew, smiling deeply at Lady Hannah. Hannah smiled back. For the first time in a long time, she felt her life had a purpose again. And she prayed that Duke Anthony would one day find the peace that she had now and be able to forgive himself for something that he so desperately could not let go of.
The End
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©2018 by Blair Keith
All rights reserved. No part of this may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means without prior written permission.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are a product of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to actual people, living or dead, or to businesses, events or locales is completely coincidental.
Chapter One
“Now, what are you doing there, my wee lassie? Come back from the window before you are seen!”
Lily felt the plump hands of her nursemaid, Mairi. Before she knew it, the hands had her shoulders and were dragging her back from the window. Lily let out a cry of distress.
“Mairi, for the love of our Lord! Your hands are freezing.” Lily grimaced.
Mairi ignored her. “I dinnae care if me hands are made of ice blocks,” she scolded. “It’s nae seemly for the daughter of the laird to be poking her head out the window, goggling. You’re still in your chemise!”
Lily scowled. “I thought I heard horses. Is it them, come to take me away?”
Mairi was busy selecting a gown for Lily. “Ach, should you wear the blue, or the green? The blue is grander, to be sure, but the green looks most fetching on you. It matches those eyes of yours.”
Lily shook her head impatiently. “I dinnae care! It’s not important. Mairi, are they here? Am I really about to leave?”
Mairi stopped and turned to her young charge. “Aye. I dinnae want to panic you, but the men from the Laird of Loneshire arrived a short time past.” She took Lily’s face in her hands, and stared into her eyes. “It’s time, my wee bonnie lass. You must be prepared to meet them, and away.”
Lily felt tears burn behind her eyes. I must not weep, she told herself furiously.
At that moment, the door opened. Lady Catherine, Lily’s mother, swept into the room.
A tall woman with a dignified bearing, Lady Catherine was meticulously gowned, as always. Lily had never seen her mother less than impeccably dressed and coiffed. Instinctively, Lily ran a hand through her long, unkempt black curls.
Lady Catherine raised an eyebrow. “Lily! I told you to be dressed a half hour ago. The Laird’s men are here. You must hurry. Mairi, I will help.”
Lily felt like a rag doll, as both women tugged and pulled at her. After being corseted and gowned, she was spun around and seated. Mairi grabbed the hairbrush and started tugging at the mass of unruly curls, attempting to tame them. Her mother stood in front of her. Lily bristled. I can feel a lecture coming, she thought to herself darkly.
“Now, Lily. We have had many talks over the past month about this day, and what is expected of you in the coming months.” Lady Catherine started pacing the room. “The match is a good one. It took your father months of negotiation to broker a deal with the Laird of Loneshire for this marriage. We expect you to behave in the proper manner, befitting a lady of your station. Never forget who you are – Lady Lily McEwan, daughter of the Laird of Aberdeen, of Clan Douglas! Your credentials are impeccable. Just make sure that your behavior matches them.”
Lily sighed dramatically. She had been hearing this her whole life. She could never live up to the expectations of her exacting mother.
“I don’t like the Laird.” Lily thrust out her lip. Mairi shoved her quickly in the back, in warning. But it was too late.
Her mother spun around, eyes flashing. “Haud your wheesht! I don’t want to hear this talk again, Lily. Do you hear me? You are to be the wife of the Laird of Loneshire. You had better make peace with that fact, and quickly!”
“Why should I?” Lily’s lip sunk lower. “He was rude and arrogant to me when we met. He barely looked at me, and when he did, it was to order me around like I was a kitchen skivvy! And everyone knows what he did to his first wife…” Mairi nudged her again.
“I’ll gie you a skelpit lug, if I hear more of that talk!” Lady Catherine waved a threatening hand in front of Lily’s face. “How many times have I told you to not listen to kitchen rumors? The Laird’s first wife died in childbirth!” She came close to her daughter and grabbed her face. “Are you listening? No more talk of it!”
Lily wrenched her face from her mother’s grasp. “I’ll not talk of it. But don’t expect me to be happy!”
Lady Catherine slowly rose to her full height again. “That’s better. We’ll make a compliant wife of you yet.” She turned and strode to the door. “I expect you in the main hall as soon as Mairi finishes your hair.” And she left.
***
The main hall was bustling with activity when Lily finally entered.
A huge fire roared in the fireplace. A couple of men, unknown to Lily, stood around it, warming themselves. There was an occasional roar of laughter, then spitting into the fire. The remnants of a meal were on the long table; two men were finishing their meal, gnawing at chicken legs. They slouched in their chairs, legs sprawled. Lily frowned. What an uncouth lot. And this was the clan she was marrying into? She shuddered in distaste.
“Ah, there she is! Lads – here is my
lovely daughter, at long last!”
The Much Honored Henry McEwan, Laird of Aberdeen, strode toward Lily, arms outstretched. Lily wasn’t fooled. The show of affection was just that – a show. Lord Aberdeen was a cold man, except when it suited him. Except when it was strategic to play the part of the doting father, as it was now.
Lily endured his embrace. She had to play her part in this, she thought with a sinking heart. Oh, how she longed to go back to yesterday! When she was merely the Laird’s unwed daughter, walking around the castle, going into the Aberdeen market with Mairi.
It was one of her favorite places. While Mairi shopped, or traded for hair ribbons and other trinkets for her, Lily would wonder off. If there was a play on, she would stop and watch, laughing or crying with everyone else at the story. She listened to the popular Scottish ballads being sung, and would be carried away by the romance and tragedy.
She loved Aberdeen. The smell of fish fresh caught from the rivers. The dyers at work; their vats swirling with garish colors as the wool was dipped into them. The leather workers perfecting their craft. Friars wondered the streets, imploring everyone who passed to save their souls. It was such a hustle and bustle of activity, and one that she never tired of watching.
The Laird’s castle was away from the main town, built around the same time as New Aberdeen was established on the River Dee. Lily could look down into the river and the surrounding countryside if she climbed the castle’s towers. It used to be one of her favorite things to do when she was little. She would escape to a tower, dreaming and looking at the river. Until the panicked cries of Mairi would puncture her bliss and send her scurrying back.
And now she had to leave. To marry a scoundrel. Oh, he was a laird; there was no doubt about that. And very rich to boot. She would have finer gowns and more servants than she did here.
Historical Hearts Romance Collection Page 24