by Geonn Cannon
“Willow? You calming down?”
“Think so.” She was still slurring her words, but at least they were coming easier. “I... was just... it was... I’ve...”
Segura was still speaking in a harsh, hissed whisper. “Sh. It’s okay. Don’t worry about saying anything right now, okay?” She twisted to look at Vogel. “Everything is cool now. She’s calm.”
Vogel glared at Segura. “This could have gone south so easily.”
“Yeah, but it didn’t.” A heavy silence hung between them. “Mel. We can discuss it in the morning, okay? She’ll tell us everything and we can work out what to do then. Okay?”
“You’re going to be the death of me, Segura.”
“Then it’ll be a murder-suicide, beautiful.”
Vogel rolled her eyes and left the cell. “God, you’re morbid. Keep her quiet for the rest of the night. Any further outbursts and we’re going all-out on this. Say you understand.”
“I understand.”
Vogel looked at Ari once more, then pushed the cell door shut. Segura’s shoulders sagged and she shook her head.
“I’m going to be paying for that one.” She looked at Ari. “You swear you’re okay? Because that was some harrowing shit.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“You’re clean?”
Ari nodded. “I’m not on any drugs.”
“Okay.” Segura got up and walked back to her bed. “We’ll talk in the morning.”
“Yeah. Thank you.”
Segura waved her off. “You’d have done the same for me. Good night.”
“Night.”
Ari looked at the ceiling. They would talk in the morning, yes, but she wasn’t going to tell them the truth. Because now she knew exactly why she was feeling ill, and she knew what had caused the seizure. It was the wolf. The wolf had been caged for over twenty-four hours and knew that release wasn’t forthcoming. It also knew that it was forbidden from emerging. When she went to sleep, any barriers she’d put up had weakened enough for the wolf’s fight or flight instincts to kick in, but her body refused to cooperate. The seizure had been her wolf brain waking up in a cage with an unresponsive body.
It couldn’t happen again. She had to find a way to silence the wolf, and Dale had given her a perfectly serviceable solution. She hoped it would be a week or two before she was forced to go through with it but now it seemed clear that she had to take action as soon as possible.
In the morning, at the first opportunity, she had to find someone to break a few of her bones.
Chapter Twelve
Waiting. Again.
Dale was in bed, another day mostly wasted while Ari was still in jail. She didn’t want to get used to that idea. She didn’t want to start any routines that didn’t involve the woman she planned to spend the rest of her life with. But Gwen was still trying to find a lawyer they could trust and who was willing to go up against GG&M. Apparently the firm had a reputation of burying its opposition in discovery and humiliating them in court. The two lawyers she’d contacted both refused when they saw the details of the case. Ari, with blood on her, fleeing the scene of a crime where a witness had placed her multiple times before. Ari admitted to knowing the victim. The case was circumstantial, but apparently it was enough to put fear in the hearts of Seattle’s legal elite.
“We’ll find someone,” Gwen told Dale as they cleared dishes after dinner.
“Someone suicidal?” Owen said.
Paige glared at him.
“I’m just being honest.”
Dale didn’t much care for Owen, but she had to admit he was right. The internet was full of articles about GG&M, and the majority of them focused on Cecily. There didn’t seem to be many other lawyers in the firm who argued in court. And why would they? If they had a succubus on their team who could sway the judge and jurors, why not use her to their advantage?
She’d gone upstairs early because she couldn’t bear the looks she kept getting from the wolves. Hannah and Mia tried to avoid her gaze, and Benji’s sympathetic shoulder patting quickly began to feel condescending. She just wanted to be alone and focus on her thoughts. When she heard everyone coming up and going to bed, she again felt guilty for having a room all to herself. There was a perfectly good bed across town she wasn’t using. But everyone insisted she stay, even if that meant some of the wolves had to sleep on the couch.
It did make her feel a little better to sleep in Ari’s childhood bedroom again. There was a dusty stereo on top of the dresser with a stack of CDs next to it. Dale chose one at random - they were all burned off the computer and Ari seemed to have let the wolf hold the Sharpie to label them - and turned the volume down low enough so it wouldn’t carry beyond the closed door. The first song was “Don’t Speak,” so Dale figured it had to be good enough to let it play through.
She stretched out on the bed and imagined Ari in the same position. Before meeting Dale, before becoming a private investigator, even before she first transformed into the wolf. She pictured Ariadne, all gangly limbs and hormones going crazy, singing along with Gwen Stefani. She could see the confusion on her little face as she tried to figure out why she was so attracted to Chris Cornell (it was the hair).
The CD had moved on to Nirvana when Dale drifted back to consciousness and realized she had fallen asleep. She kept her eyes closed in the hopes she could get some rest, but then another sound infringed on the music. It was a squeak followed by a thump, like someone in socks dragging their feet from one stair to the next. Her brain connected it to all the times Ari had come home exhausted from running as the wolf and her eyes snapped open.
“Puppy?” she muttered before remembering where she was and why.
But there was another sound, this time more of a slide. She looked toward the wall where it seemed to originate. Gwen’s bedroom was on the other side of that wall. If something was wrong...
“Milo...”
She sounded like she was in distress. Dale sat up, kicking at the blankets and swinging her feet onto the floor.
“Oh, god, Milo.”
Dale froze. The squeaking noise came again, followed by a sharp gasp that was quickly cut off. Probably by a hand, either Gwen’s or Milo’s. And then another, quieter, stifled cry.
“Sh, baby,” Milo responded.
Dale choked in an effort to hold back her reaction, covering her own mouth. She regretted taking the time she’d taken to undress for bed. Fortunately there was a robe hanging on the closet door. She put it on and retreated before she could overhear anything else. She was wavering between horrified and amused. Gwen and Milo were both adults, and she was glad they were able to enjoy each other’s company even with everything that was going on. But oh, god, it was Milo and Ari’s mother. Knowing they were having sex was much easier to accept when she didn’t have to overhear it.
There were two wolves curled up on the floor next to Gwen’s couch. Dale didn’t know how she recognized them, but she knew it was Owen and Benji. Neither stirred as she went past them into the kitchen. She turned on the light over the stove and rested her hands on the edge of the counter. She laughed, shook her head, and tried not to think about what was happening upstairs. Eventually she turned off the light and walked to the sliding door that led out onto Gwen’s small back porch. She crossed her arms over her chest and looked out at the moon.
Working for Ari, being her friend and lover, led to so many more late nights than Dale had anticipated when she took the job. Sometimes she would get a call at three-thirty that the wolf had run up to Lake City and Ari needed a ride home. By the time Dale got dressed, drove north, found whatever all-night diner Ari was waiting in, and got back to her apartment, it was already past four. So she would stay up reading or drinking tea or watching a movie until it was time to go into the office.
She didn’t want to do anything to disturb the wolves in the living room, so she just stared at the sky. There was a movie when she was a kid, some cartoon about a family of immigrant mice. A boy mouse was s
eparated from the rest of his family and spent the rest of the movie trying to reunite with them. At one point, the mouse and his sister sang a song about being under the same sky, looking at the same moon. The song always made Dale cry, and she hummed a few bars.
In a way, she was luckier than the mice. She knew exactly where Ari was. Only about two miles west of where she was standing. She could’ve walked that far in less than an hour. She didn’t know when Ari would go through with the bone-breaking plan. She imagined how it would happen and felt every blow, all the pain, knowing it was because of her. She’d come up with the plan that would cause Ari to be hurt worse than she’d ever been hurt before, and it was sickening.
Time passed slowly. There was a possibility she had briefly fallen asleep with her head against the glass door. She heard footsteps on the stairs and turned to see Milo descending on the balls of her feet, shoulders hunched like a cartoon thief creeping through a house. She was wearing black boxer briefs and a white sleeveless top, and her hair was twisted and tangled and all pushed to one side of her head.
Milo glanced into the living room to see the boys were still asleep, then pivoted into the kitchen and spotted Dale.
“Oh. Hi. Oh.” She looked up at the ceiling and winced. “I thought we were being quiet, but... you were next door, weren’t you?”
Dale said, “It’s okay. I wasn’t sleeping very well anyway.”
“Sorry.” She went to the fridge. “I just need some ice.”
“Oh god, I don’t need details.”
Milo said, “Not for that. I’m thirsty.”
“And overheated?”
Milo grinned as she found a cup and opened the freezer. The cubes rattled against the bin as she scooped them out.
“Sh, sh,” Dale warned. She nodded toward the boys in the living room.
“Eh, they’ll sleep through anything.” She filled the glass from the tap and took a long drink. When she was finished she pressed her wrist against her mouth and looked at Dale. “Are you sure you’re okay? Is it just the sleeplessness?”
Dale turned to rest her shoulders against the wall. “It’s a thousand things. Nothing technically wrong, nothing that can be fixed. Actually, that’s not true. It could be fixed by having Ari walk in and hug me right now. That would fix it all.” She hugged herself. “Did you know Mia offered to confess to the crime just to get Ari out of jail for me?”
Milo smiled. “No, but it doesn’t surprise me. Mia and Hannah are thoroughly unreligious, but ever since the war, they’ve been the first converts to the Church of Dale Frye. Those two would crawl through fire if you asked them to.”
“I just want them to be together. I’m finding out just how hard it is to be apart from the woman you love, so I wouldn’t want to be the reason they can’t be together. In fact, I hope they’re having sex, too. Wait, no, they can’t. They’re sharing a room with Paige.”
Milo smiled.
“What?”
“No, nothing. Just... Paige being in the room doesn’t mean anything.” Dale raised an eyebrow. “Oh, come on, you know how packs work. We let the animal take over when we run together. When we change back, we’re a bunch of primal, sweaty, naked people. You think we don’t have sex?”
Dale said, “So you and Mia and Hannah...?”
“Sure.” Milo pointed into the living room. “And Owen and Benji, too.”
“But you’re...”
“And they’re straight. I’m just saying, it doesn’t matter to the wolf.”
Dale looked at the wolves sleeping in the other room. “I keep learning all the things Ari is giving up by being with me.”
Milo crossed the room and put a hand on Dale’s shoulder. “You know what Ari’s giving up? Nothing. Not a damn thing. ‘Cause that’s not how it works. You’re everything Ari wants. The things she’s not doing? Running with a pack, having sex with a bunch of wolves when the mood strikes, whatever, those are things she doesn’t even consider because it’s not part of being your girlfriend. That’s all she wants. That’s not a sacrifice in her mind.”
“But--”
“Uh-uh,” Milo said. “All Ari thinks about is what you are giving up to be with her. A human dating a wolf. That’s all that’s on her mind, and I doubt you’ve let those thoughts linger too much. So... you know, get your head out of your ass and stop worrying about what Ari’s missing out on. Okay?”
Dale nodded. “Thanks, Milo. Now get your hand off me, because I know where it’s been.”
Milo removed her hand, winked, and went to the stairs. “Go back to bed, Dale. Try to get some sleep. Gwen and I will do our best to keep it down.”
“Don’t,” Dale said. “I think I saw some headphones in Ari’s room. I’ll put them on and you two can go as crazy as you want. Hell, go across the hall to see what Mia and the girls are up to.”
“You sure?”
“Ari wouldn’t want it any other way.”
Milo raised her glass in a toast. “Goodnight, Dale. Try to get a little sleep, huh? Ari would want that, too.”
“I’ll try. Goodnight.”
Milo retreated back upstairs. Dale turned back to the door and, without pausing to give it thought, slipped the lock and went outside. She was barefoot and in her underwear beneath the robe, but she didn’t want to take the time to go back upstairs. She did, however, have to go back and get her keys from the bowl on the kitchen counter. She worried about leaving a note just in case Milo heard the car leaving and was worried, but she didn’t want to overthink what she was doing. She would apologize in the morning.
She drove south, out of the neighborhood with the lake to her left. A few boats were out on the black water, their lights reflecting on gentle waves. When the trees rose up to block her view of the lake, the houses on the other side of the road grew far enough apart so she could see the lower part of Seattle shining like Christmas lights.
Dale tried to imagine these beautiful sights as seen by a young girl, on foot, angry and crying as she fled the only home she’d ever known.
“My mother was my whole world,” Ari whispered against the side of Dale’s head. Strands of red hair were caught on her lips, but she didn’t care enough to sweep them away. “And she confessed this godawful thing to me. She admitted she was the reason I was always in so much pain. I felt like a freak, like every teenager does, and then I found out she did it on purpose. So I ran.”
Dale stroked Ari’s hip. It was the first time they’d made love in Ari’s bed. Doing it in a familiar place helped make it real. “Where did you go?”
“At first I just sort of wandered through the neighborhoods. I guess I was moving in a generally westward direction...”
Dale took a more direct route, driving the West Seattle Bridge across the breadth of the city. Ari ended up at Alki Point just before dawn. Dale arrived while the sky was still black and parked where she could face the water. She stayed in the car with the doors locked but even so she felt utterly exposed and vulnerable. There were people on the beach, homeless men and women in tents. Ari had been one of those people after she ran away. She’d survived this. She’d survived worse than this, and she would survive prison.
“I didn’t know I wouldn’t be going back,” Ari said. “I just couldn’t picture myself walking back into that house and hearing her excuses. So I spent a while on the beach, and eventually I looked for something more permanent.”
She pictured a teenaged Ariadne sitting on the sand, crying into the crook of her elbow, feeling as if she had lost everything. Her heart broke for that little girl. She wished she could go back in time and tell her it would all work out for the better. She had an amazing life waiting for her once she got through this rough patch. In fact, this rough patch would teach her so much, make her tough and savvy. Ari was in the same place now, really. She was all by herself without a safety net and unsure of how things could possibly work out well.
“I couldn’t protect you back then, Ariadne,” Dale said, “but I’m here now. You just keep you
rself safe in the lion’s den, and I’ll come save you.”
She could almost feel the words lifting through the air to settle on her shoulders. It was a promise no one else had heard, but one she would force herself to keep. No matter what it took or how hard it was, she would never lose faith. She wouldn’t stop fighting until Ari was free.
Dale looked at the clock and groaned when she saw the time. Milo was right, Ari would want her in bed even if she never got any restful sleep. So she would drive back to Gwen’s house, take herself upstairs, and stretch out on top of the covers. She would listen to the soundtrack of Ari’s teen years. She would turn off her brain and hope for the best.
In a few minutes or so.
Chapter Thirteen
Segura was already up and sitting on the edge of her bed when Ari woke the next morning. She was staring at the floor but looked up when Ari began to stir and didn’t give her time to form a lie.
“I don’t know what that was,” Segura said, “but you need to disclose right fucking now if you’re addicted to something or have some disease.”
Ari said, “I’m not addicted to anything. I’m not sick.”
Segura said, “Then you were possessed by Selma Blair or something, because that was some frightening shit.”
“Linda Blair.” Ari rubbed her face and sat up. Her muscles ached, and moving was difficult, but she managed to get upright. “If I was possessed by Selma Blair, I would’ve been quirky and cute.”
“Don’t try to be cute now,” Segura said. “Do you have any idea what Melissa and I risked by not calling the doctor? If you had died--”
Ari said, “That wasn’t a risk.”
“I’m glad you can guarantee that, because I sure as shit couldn’t last night. Is it going to happen again? Am I going to have to tie you down to the bed before we go to sleep?”
Ari shook her head. “It’s not going to happen again.”
Segura stared hard at her. “Willow, I swear, next time, I’m not going to risk my neck to protect you. It’s not up to me to keep you safe.”
“Next time, you do what you have to. Protect Meli-- CO Vogel. Protect yourself.”