***
The sun began its ascension into the morning sky when we knocked on Jasmine’s front door. The maid gave us an eyeful when she answered, and it dawned on me that I still wore my bloody, tattered SS nurse’s uniform. I was still in shock over Renée and could hardly speak, but I let out a grateful sigh when Penn came to the door and welcomed us in. Gabriel took it upon himself to explain that Adelaide and the others would be coming soon, and Penn assured him that he would prepare for their arrival. Gabriel then asked leave to go upstairs and rest.
Brande and I followed Penn down the large art-decked hallway and into the immaculate living room where Jasmine liked to receive her guests. She sat on a plush sofa, wearing a silken white robe and drinking coffee as she read a newspaper. I expected her to be caught off-guard, or even a little perturbed at our unannounced arrival. She preferred her home to be off limits. However, when she caught a glimpse of me, she set down her coffee and newspaper and rushed toward me, pulling me into a tight embrace.
“Oh, Emelie...” She broke away to greet Brande and hugged him, but quickly grabbed hold of me again and guided me toward the sofa.
“Jasmine...I didn’t know where else to go.”
“Honey, don’t worry about it.” She sat next to me, still holding me close. “Lydie! Bring out some breakfast for my friends.”
Brande sat in a chair across from us with his head bent. His posture was in an almost contemplative pose. He did that whenever he felt troubled, and for a second I thought of saying something to help put him at ease, but then my anger got the better of me and I said nothing. I just couldn’t put aside the fact that he had kept knowledge of my father away from me. He knew my past, and he knew how I felt about it. I began to wonder what he would have to gain if he slipped the wrong person my name and information. Was it him?
“Renée is dead.” I lowered my head when I said this to Jasmine. I felt responsible and ashamed. “The Black Wolves know who I really am. We can’t trust anyone.”
Jasmine’s lips trembled, and she shook her head in disbelief. Tears formed in her deep-set eyes. In that moment we just sat there, unable to speak, trying to sort through our thoughts and sorrow. Lydie returned with a serving cart and placed a plate of food in front of me. She then set up a tray next to Brande and did the same for him. He thanked her and reminded her to send something upstairs for Father Gabriel. Penn emerged from the kitchen with a pitcher of water and a couple of glasses. He poured some water and offered it to us, but we declined.
“Are you sure there isn’t anything I can get you?” Penn wore a pained expression. Although Renée used to chide him for his bootlegging ways, she always welcomed him into her home, and he cared about her as well. I wondered if Penn was disappointed in me for not saving her.
“We’re fine.” Jasmine blew her nose into a handkerchief and offered another one to me.
The doorbell rang, and Penn started toward the front. “By the way,” he nodded in the direction of the kitchen before heading toward the hallway, “your sweetheart is in the nook in the back having breakfast.”
“Ken’s here?” Just as I stood, he came through the doorway. I rushed toward him and threw myself into his arms. I made sure to be careful, since his right arm had been bandaged, and he walked with a limp.
I planted kisses on his lips, cheeks, and forehead. We said nothing, and we didn’t have to. We just held each other for what seemed like an eternity, and we found comfort in that. It gave me the strength I needed to repeat to him what had happened to Renée, and he held me even more tightly while murmuring words of consolation.
“Well,” Jasmine stood, “it sounds like we have a few more guests coming in. I think you need to introduce me to these people you have up in my house, Brande.”
I kissed Ken again and tightened my embrace. From the corner of my eye I saw Brande rise from his seat and quickly look away as Jasmine walked with him. Before Jasmine turned the corner, she gave me a sidelong glance. I felt a little guilty, because I knew what it was for.
I did very well at pretending I was unaware of Brande’s affection for me. When I was younger and in the Gray Tower, I did have a crush on him, but nothing came of it. When I left and returned home before going to England, he finally expressed his feelings, but then, at the time, I didn’t want anything to do with the Gray Tower or anyone associated with it. I ended up ascribing it all to mere infatuation on both our parts and left it at that, assuming he would do the same.
At times I felt that he was on the verge of contradicting this, whether it was a single look, the tone of his voice when he spoke to me, or the way he grew silent if I ever mentioned Ken. Because of that, I made sure to be as considerate as possible, but I wasn’t going to hide the fact that Ken and I adored each other. We were drawn to one another since we first met...since he...stole a copy of my file...
Ken looked directly into my eyes. “For a moment I thought you wouldn’t make it.”
“Where’s Bernard?” I loosened my hold on him.
“He fell through the trees and got knocked unconscious. I had some Maquisards take him back to Mantes to see a doctor. Now would you mind not sending me away like that?”
My stomach tightened, and I pulled away. He was good—I’d give him that. To make me feel foolish and shy away from doubts and questions, and to be in the right place at the right time to make it seem like he had saved me and had been looking out for me. I even bought his sob story about his Amsterdam mission.
“Kenneth, remember that conversation we had before we went into the Vélizy factory?”
“Yes.” He reached for my hand, but I rebuffed him.
“Everything was a lie, wasn’t it?” Renée’s face flashed in my mind. I would never see her again.
“What are you talking about?” His jaw dropped, and he stared at me.
“So did you leave my file lying around somewhere? Or did you sell it?”
“Are you insane?” He looked hurt, and it made me hurt too...but damn it, he was trained to be a good actor, and to make people believe who he was and believe his words.
“I’d feel better if it were blackmail, at least that you were forced to do it and really didn’t want to.”
“Did that warlock hit you with some kind of crazy spell? If I’m a traitor, then why the hell would I be risking my life fighting by your side?”
I ignored his question. “After I neutralized the chemicals at the factory, why did you stay behind in the basement?”
“To take a last look at those notes and documents in there. I wanted to see if I could find anything about the laboratories.”
“What about the Cairo job? Why did you steal money from Badru? Were you rogue, or playing dirty?”
“That murderer built his wealth on the blood of innocent people, so I took his money away, and gave it back to its real owners.”
Great, now he wanted to play Robin Hood. “Well...did you leave a copy of my file—”
“No I didn’t—”
“And someone saw it—”
“I destroyed it—”
“Then how do our enemies know—”
“I feel bad about Renée too, but if you want someone to blame, then start with the people who killed her.”
“Then what about that day we were at her house and Penn came by? You lied about going to see your contacts. Who did you go see?”
“I’m not a traitor.”
“Answer the question.” I reached forward and caressed his cheek. Not out of affection, but because I was ready to stop his heart from beating. It would be easy.
He narrowed his eyes. “You think you know everything, don’t you? Well...at least I know where we stand.”
“Just answer me.” When I saw him slip his hand into his pocket, I sent a quick tendril of energy straight to his head. He convulsed and cried out in pain as he fell to his knees.
I stepped away. He gasped, but kept his hand in his pocket. It seemed to strain him physically, but he finally revealed what he h
ad kept hidden—a ring box.
“Oh, Ken...” I groaned as he carefully set the box on the floor in between us.
I moved toward him so I could touch him and reverse the body magic, but he raised his arm to ward me off. He slowly rose to his feet, with his face screwed up in pain, and faced me. He looked at me and I knew he felt I understood that Rénee was dead.
I almost choked on my words. “Do you see why I wanted out? Why this had to be my last mission?”
“No...I don’t.” He flexed his right arm. “This isn’t you. What happened to you?”
“I got tired.”
“And I wasn’t good enough?”
“I’m sorry.” I grabbed his hand. I was glad that he didn’t pull away. Now all I needed was for him to come with me. I’d be willing to endure his resentment and his distrust. I’d give him all the time he needed. All I wanted was for him to agree to leave with me.
He shook his head. “You gave up...you’re giving up on everything.”
“I gritted my teeth in frustration. “I’m not giving up.”
“Oh, that’s right, you call it retiring.”
“There’s nothing wrong with retiring!”
“I’m seeing this entire war through to the end. I’m sorry that you couldn’t.”
My jaw tightened. “This is supposed to be my last assignment. And, there are things I have to take care of with my family.”
“Are your mother and brother all right?”
I nodded. “They’re okay.”
He sighed and retrieved the ring box. “Good.”
“Ken...”
He opened my hand and handed me the box. I clutched it and tried to speak. No words came forth.
“Maybe this was all doomed from the start, and maybe I was just too blind to see it.”
I deserved that, though it felt like a slow and painful death. “Goodbye, Kenneth. You...deserve better.”
He kissed my forehead. “I didn’t want better. I wanted you. Take care of yourself.”
As he pulled himself away and headed toward the coat closet, he instructed one of the maids to deliver a final thanks to Jasmine for her hospitality. I stood there feeling like the crappiest person on earth. Part of me wanted to take off and chase him, to throw myself into his arms again and promise to stay with him and make amends. I regretted that it wasn’t the part of me that won out, because I just stood motionless, like a coward, and only when it was too late and I was alone, did I utter: “I love you.”
The Tower's Alchemist (The Gray Tower Trilogy, #1) Page 20