“I’m sure you guys know this, but I have to say it out loud. I owe all of you an apology.”
They stared at me, not saying a word or reacting.
“I am so fucking sorry for losing it and ruining our playoff chances. There’s no excuse for my behavior. I’m a professional. Lanie had stood me up, and I went to the bar that night looking for a fight, and I found one. Ziggy and Cave were more than happy to back me up, but none of this would’ve happened if I hadn’t initiated it. I promise you, I’ll never endanger our team’s chances like that again. I hope you’ll all forgive me.” I finished the last words in a rush and waited for them to pass judgment. Whatever they did, I’d deserve any grief that came my way.
Nods of agreement and mutters of “it’s okay, we all make mistakes, just don’t pull that shit again” followed. These guys were the best. I didn’t deserve their forgiveness, but they’d given it to me. Except for Steele. He studied the label on his beer and said nothing. Steele would need more time, but he’d come around. I hoped.
I felt better getting that off my chest, and I vowed to keep my promise to my teammates and to myself. I wouldn’t let the team down again.
Easton slapped me on the back. “We’ve all done stupid stuff for love, man. You aren’t alone.”
“I haven’t,” Steele blurted out. Every head in the room snapped toward him, thinking he was joking, but he didn’t smile, just looked away from us.
“Okay, then,” Axel said. “We’re all good.”
“Whatever happened with her? The mystery woman?” Geneva asked.
I drew in a deep breath and sighed. “She’s married or something. You guys were right.” I didn’t see any reason to elaborate or mention she’d been on this very island. As far as they knew, the reason I came here was to vacation. The less I revealed, the less they’d have to use against me at some other point in time. Hockey players were known to be ruthless, even while being loyal to a fault. These guys were no exception.
Chapter Nine
Not Knowing
~~Delaney~~
* * *
The inn’s front door slammed open to a flurry of excited voices and running feet. Brody and Mandy had taken the ferry to the mainland to stock up on supplies at Costco, leaving me in charge of the afternoon check-ins.
I hurried to the front desk, not liking to keep guests waiting. The noisy group consisted of two couples and two small children, hence the noise. The kids were well behaved. They weren’t getting into things or running around, but their restlessness made it clear how much they’d love to run wild.
“Hi. You must be checking in.” I consulted the small list of guests Mandy had left me and did a double take at the names. Easton Black and Axel Vanderbuel.
I knew those names. They were hockey players for the Seattle Sockeyes, and they were friends of Kaden’s. He’d mentioned them on many occasions.
Of all the luck, they had to pick this B and B for their vacation.
Fate was pulling out all the stops when it came to torturing my broken heart.
I forced a smile and approached the happy group, all the while telling myself they wouldn’t know anything about me, no reason to be worried. Besides, I’d ended it with Kaden. If anything, they’d dislike and avoid me if they knew who I was.
Pushing away the paranoia that’d become second nature, I told myself I was safe. They didn’t know who I was to Kaden and never needed to know.
Even though the urge to pack up and run once again was strong, I wasn’t going to do it. Not yet. These people were not a danger to my life, only my heart because of their indirect contact with the man I’d stupidly fallen for. I wasn’t sure which was worse.
I consulted the guest list once more and flashed another smile, this one more relaxed and genuine. The two women stepped forward, purses at the ready, while the men ushered the impatiently excited children back outside. I liked seeing the roles reversed like that. Women shouldn’t be relegated to certain tasks, and neither should men. I heard the laughter, both hearty and high-pitched, and caught glimpses of the four of them playing tag on the lawn.
I liked these people, even if I wouldn’t be getting close to them. They were the type of people I’d have been naturally drawn to in my old life.
The women were beautiful and had open, friendly smiles and kind eyes, but that was where the similarity ended.
“I’m Geneva. You can call me Gen. We’re going to be here for a few weeks, so I’m sure you’ll be seeing a lot of me. The reservations are under Axel Vanderbuel.” Geneva was tall and lithe, like an athlete. She had expressive brown eyes and almost black, long straight hair.
“And I’m Caro. Easton Black made our reservations. The rugrats belong to us.” Caro was the opposite of Geneva. She was petite and blonde and cute.
I nodded and looked through the computer for the reservations. I found both. After gathering the keys, I printed out the paperwork, put together the information packets, and had them sign the agreements.
I placed a map on the counter and showed them where their accommodations were.
“Geneva, you have the Orca Room. It’s up the stairs and at the end of the hall. It has an en-suite bathroom and a deck with a beautiful view of Fiddler’s Cove.”
“I can’t wait. This is our first vacation together.” She was beaming now. I had to grin back. I loved enthusiastic guests.
“And Caro, you guys have Otter Cottage. Just exit the building and follow the path to the right, around the back of the house, and you’ll see it at the water’s edge.”
“Thank you so much. Would you by chance know of any local trustworthy teenagers who might be willing to babysit a night or two?”
“I haven’t worked here that long, but the couple who owns the inn will know of someone. They’ll be back in a few hours. You can check then.”
“I will.”
“Breakfast is served between eight and nine a.m. We’ll also deliver if you make arrangements the night before. The pet rules are on the back of your receipt. Any questions?”
They exchanged looks and turned back to me, still smiling.
“No, we’re good,” Geneva said.
Caro hesitated. “There is one thing I’d like to request.”
“Certainly.”
“Our husbands are professional hockey players. We rarely get away where they aren’t recognized or hounded by the press. If anyone comes looking for either of them, would you please say we’re not here?”
“Absolutely. Our guests’ privacy is of utmost importance.”
“Thank you. You don’t know how much that means.”
“You’re so welcome.”
I walked them to the door and waved at their partners, who were now retrieving their luggage. Satisfied they were taken care of, I went back to my dusting, feeling better about our new guests but not exactly confident I wouldn’t run into Kaden again. Surely, they were all hanging out together on this island, which meant the chances Kaden would find his way over here in the next few weeks were pretty good. Too good.
It didn’t matter. I’d deal with him when the time came.
I’d never been good at resisting temptation, but I’d have to take a crash course in resistance and abstinence until the group left the island.
I would and could do this because I currently didn’t have another option. My money reserves were gone. My job opportunities were slim without proof of my degree and job experience. I was a person without a past running from the past I once had.
I didn’t know if I’d be running for the rest of my life or if, at some point in time, I’d finally be safe.
The not knowing was worse than the knowing.
Chapter Ten
Hope and Pray
~~Kaden~~
* * *
A few days later, I was in my element, chopping veggies and prepping for a big dinner. I’d been using food as a distraction and placebo for missing Lanie. It was neither. Steele and I stepped up our workouts, fearing at this rate we’d
gain twenty pounds by the time we left the island.
“What’s for dinner?” Steele started to remove the lid off the steaming pot on the stove, and I smacked his hand. He jerked it back and glared at me.
“What the fuck? Don’t touch anything I’m cooking. In fact, get out of this kitchen. There’s barely room for me in it,” I snapped at him.
“Well, you’re in a shitty mood,” he snapped right back.
I gifted him with my best surly glower, but Steele didn’t blink or flinch. Instead he made a show of rubbing his hand as if I’d hurt the wuss.
“That’s the hand I aim with. You almost destroyed my career.”
I rolled my eyes. “Then keep your mitts out of my pots, you fucking drama queen.”
Steele laughed, not bothered by my attitude. “What’re you cooking?” He peered at the pots again, sniffing the air like a bird dog.
“You’ll find out later.”
“Need any help?”
“Not yet, but I will when I put the shish-kabobs together.”
“Well, I’m your man. What time is the gang coming over?”
“They’re not. We’re going over there about six. I’m prepping here so I don’t have to do it over there in the chaos.”
“You like chaos. I’m the one who can’t stand it.” Steele grabbed a beer and wandered over to the small dining table, flipped the chair around, and sat in it backward. I squinted at him, not sure I was seeing what I was seeing. Sitting like that was such an un-Steele-like thing to do.
“You’re not nearly as fun as you used to be. It’s her, isn’t it?”
I considered arguing with him, but it’d be wasted time. “Is it that obvious?”
“Only to me. The others are too wrapped up in each other to notice you’re pining away.”
I bristled, ready to argue with him, but found I didn’t have the energy. Steele knew me, and he’d see right through me downplaying my broken heart. “It’ll take a while. This is why I never get deeply involved with a woman. I mean, I’ve had a few girlfriends and a ton of one-nighters, even weekenders, but nothing that hurt like this.” I had to learn my lesson the hard way, but at least I was still here to learn it. My career had almost crashed and burned because of Lanie, and I wasn’t making that mistake again.
This gaping hole in my chest hurt like fucking hell. Even getting suspended from the team and letting down my teammates hadn’t come close to this agony. I’d never be an ass again to a guy going through a breakup. My past advice had consisted of telling a teammate to deal with it, play hockey, and get back in the saddle, and currently I wasn’t following any of my own advice.
“Watching you cook is as boring as watching a Zamboni resurface the ice.” Steele stood and stretched, making a show of yawning. “I’ll be back in an hour to help with the ’bobs.”
I nodded, barely noticing him leave the cottage.
I was in a foul mood. I’d spotted Lanie at the grocery store earlier today. She hadn’t left after all. Instead of approaching her, I’d ducked down the produce aisle and avoided her altogether like a sniveling coward. I had no choice. She couldn’t see me like this. She knew me, and I was pretty sure my broken heart would be as visible as the logo on the T-shirt I was wearing. So I hung back, pretending great interest in the lettuce and cabbage.
Lanie had finally paid for her groceries and left the store. I slinked out from behind a bin of onions and finished my shopping, ignoring the curious stares of the other shoppers.
Having the gang here was a blessing and a curse. They were so lively I didn’t have much time to wallow in self-pity. We’d done the tourist thing yesterday and climbed the island’s tallest mountain. From the top, we had a three-hundred-sixty-degree view of all the islands and the mainland. It was beautiful. Even I crawled out of my hole long enough to enjoy the scenery. The day before that, we chartered a boat and cruised the islands, stopping at one to have lunch.
The curse part was that these assholes were brutal and all over my ass about everything. That was the way it was with us. We constantly jabbed at each other’s known weaknesses and probed for new ones. I had to be on my guard. It was a hockey thing. I always saw it as necessary preparation for the constant chirping that happened on the ice between opposing teams. Right now, I wasn’t appreciating that preparation.
Today I was cooking for the group. After doing the prep work in my cottage’s small kitchen, I’d do the grilling on the barbecue at Easton’s cottage.
What if I saw Lanie hanging around there?
I hoped I didn’t see her.
And I prayed I did.
I was a mess.
Chapter Eleven
The Ultimate Price
~~Delaney~~
* * *
“Can I help you?” I switched off the vacuum to better hear the tall, serious-looking man who’d entered the inn. He was young, probably mid-twenties, with perfectly styled jet-black hair and intense gray eyes. He looked vaguely familiar, and I stiffened, searching my memory for where I’d seen him before. I came up empty but proceeded with caution. In the meantime, I plotted an escape route in case I needed it, assuming he didn’t shoot me dead on the spot. He didn’t look like a hit man, more like a Fed, FBI or Secret Service.
“I’m Steele.” He waited as if he expected me to recognize who he was. I watched him warily, not caring if I seemed rude.
When I didn’t respond, he continued. “Are you Lanie?”
I went by Laina on this island, not Lanie or Delaney. Only Kaden and those from my old life called me Lanie. I edged closer to the door, ready to bolt at any moment. One of the guests was perusing books on the bookshelf in the adjacent room. He had a clear view into the lobby area. Surely, this guy wouldn’t shoot me in plain sight of another guest.
“Why do you ask?” I answered his question with a question.
“Because I’m guessing you are. You’re just as I expected.”
Now what was that supposed to mean? I took a few steps back, fearing he might be dangerous.
He picked up on my anxiety. His half smile softened the angular features on his face. “I’m Kaden’s teammate and friend.” He held out his hands, palms up, to show I had nothing to fear.
Instead of relaxing, I tensed all the more. I’d ended it with Kaden. Why was this guy here? He hadn’t checked in with the others, so he must be staying elsewhere. Was Kaden’s entire damn team on this island, ready to get involved in our now-defunct relationship? The possibility of such interference gave me chills.
“Kaden’s friend?” I said dumbly.
“Steele.”
Of course, I knew that name. Not sure why I hadn’t made the connection. Steele was the quiet, serious one who was neat and tidy to the point of annoyance and was always on the computer doing who knew what.
“Nice to meet you. I need to get back to work.” I switched on the vacuum and turned my back on him, not caring how rude I was.
He had the audacity to pull the plug on the vacuum. I whirled around, and he stood there grinning at me, holding the plug in one big hand. Were all hockey players big like Kaden and him? I supposed they had to be to play such a physical sport for a living and at such a high level.
“If you’ve come here to plead his case, you’re wasting your time. I shouldn’t have had a relationship with him when I wasn’t free to have one.”
“So you are married?” His tone was skeptical, as if he saw right through me.
“Something like that.”
“What does that mean?”
Were all hockey players as annoyingly persistent as Kaden and Steele? It probably also came with the territory. “I’m not available. Having a relationship with him was a big mistake.” I threw my arms up in exasperation. “Did he send you here to plead his case?”
“Nah, he doesn’t know I’m here.”
“Why are you here?”
“I’m a good friend.” There went that smile again, giving me the distinct impression he didn’t smile much. His smile seemed ru
sty.
“I’m sure he appreciates you.” I knew where I’d seen him before, on the TV playing hockey and on the team’s website. I relaxed slightly. He wasn’t a threat, just a guy worried about his friend, and I appreciated his loyalty.
“I wanted to meet the woman who has Kaden tied up in knots. You know, he doesn’t fall hard like this. It’s unusual. Actually, it’s never happened since I’ve known him.”
“I’m sure he’ll survive.”
“Yeah, but will I? He’s been a total ass to live with lately.”
“I’m sorry for that.” I almost smiled at him. He was a nice guy, one of those types a person immediately liked.
“I’ll survive. I have thick skin. But you? What’s your deal?”
“I don’t have a deal. Just being me.”
“That’s a lie if I ever heard one. Who’re you running from? Abusive spouse? Crazy ex? Who?”
“I wish it were that simple.”
“Nothing is ever that simple.” Spoken like a man who knew what he was talking about.
I didn’t offer any further explanation. I’d said too much to a literal stranger, even if he did have a connection to my former love interest. I leaned down to change the vacuum setting from hardwood to carpet.
“I might be able to help you. I know people.”
I straightened, and my head snapped around to stare at him, surprised by his offer. “No one can help me, and you’d be wise to walk out that door and never look back. Kaden would, too. I’m not available emotionally or otherwise.”
“I see.”
I gazed into those steel-gray eyes and realized he did see. He might not know the details, but he did see more than most, even Kaden. Of course, we were too busy banging each other’s brains out to be spending a lot of time on psychoanalyzing each other.
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