“Here in DC,” her father responded happily.
“I haven’t said I’d take it yet.” Lanie still wasn’t looking at me.
The use of the word yet wasn’t lost on me either.
“Of course you will. The job’s yours if you want it, and you know you do. This is an excellent opportunity for you to establish yourself as one of the up-and-comers.”
“I… It would be a good opportunity,” I said. They knew I was lying because I didn’t have a clue what such a position entailed or why she’d want it.
“I haven’t accepted the job. I wanted to talk to you first.”
“A man who loves you would never stand in your way. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.”
“Daddy, that’s an exaggeration. You know that.”
He smiled and winked at his daughter. “Can’t blame an old man for trying.”
Maybe she couldn’t, but I could. I bit my tongue—hard to do when you were grinding your teeth together. I wanted to beg her to go back to Seattle with me, but I didn’t. She had to make this decision. Not me.
“Kaden, I need to borrow Delaney for the rest of the evening. I’m sure you wouldn’t deny me some time with my daughter.”
Without you around. Those were the words he didn’t say but did.
“You don’t mind, do you? I’ll catch up with you later.” Her eyes pleaded with me to be a good sport, and I’d never been able to deny her anything when she looked at me like that.
I did mind, but I wasn’t an ass. I nodded my agreement, not that she needed my permission for anything.
She leaned down and gave me a soft kiss on the lips and whispered, “Meet me in my room in a few hours.”
Before I answered, she strode off with her father, and I was left with nothing.
A few hours later, I slipped out of my room.
I wasn’t a small guy by any means, but the security guy guarding Lanie’s bedroom door was built like a bull with bulging muscles, meaty hands, and an expression that begged me to make one false move so he could pound me into the ground.
“Lanie’s expecting me.”
He scowled, assessing me with eyes that were small and deep-set. “The senator ordered that no one but family enters.”
“Ask Lanie. I’m going in.”
The dickhead smirked and puffed out his chest, showing off all six foot three of his muscled body. I eyed him with disdain. He might be bigger than me, but I wouldn’t be cowed by a guy whose dick was barely bigger than his IQ. And that’s not saying much.
I attempted to move around him, but he stepped in front of me, blocking the door. “What are you doing here anyway?”
It was bad enough the guy was around all day, but he’d never guarded the door at night. The significance of such a move suddenly struck me with the force of a runaway Zamboni.
“What’s going on? Is something wrong?”
He studied me for a long moment, as if debating whether to tell me what he knew.
“Is Lanie in trouble?”
He locked his jaw and stared right through me.
“I need to see her. You will let me in this door.” I raised my voice loudly enough for Lanie to hear but not loud enough to make a scene. A second later, her door swung open. Without a word to the guard, she grabbed my arm and pulled me inside, locking the door behind me.
She threw her arms around my neck and kissed me, hanging on to me as if her life depended on it.
Maybe everything would work out after all.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Walking Away
~~Delaney~~
* * *
When I’d walked away from Kaden that night to join my father, the crestfallen expression on his face drowned me in guilt, yet I still left him to go with my father. I hated myself for my inability to resist the siren’s song of politics. This was what I’d been groomed for all my life. The job being offered would be a stepping stone to achieving my dream of following in my father’s footsteps.
When I glanced over my shoulder, he was slumped in his chair with his hands wrapped around his beer glass, looking as if he hadn’t a friend in the world, or in this town. His only friend here had just deserted him for what might be greener pastures.
I’d hesitated, struggling with whether to abandon my father and go back to Kaden. My dad turned to me and slowed his pace. “Are you coming?”
When I shot one last glance toward the table where Kaden had been sitting, he was gone. I caught sight of his broad shoulders and shaggy dark hair as he slipped out the door of the banquet room. For a moment, I considered running after him, but I didn’t.
At that moment, I wondered if I’d already made my decision. I loved Kaden, but even I knew long-distance relationships between two busy people on opposite sides of the country rarely worked out.
He’d been my rock all week, standing by my side through every interview, party, and meeting. He never once complained. At night, one of us would sneak into the other’s room, and for those few hours, we’d forget the rest of the world existed.
Then my father received a phone call and everything changed.
“We’re going home. I want you on lockdown in the house,” he’d said.
“What’s going on?”
“A possible threat on your life. We haven’t verified it yet and don’t know if it comes from a legitimate source, but I’m not taking chances.”
So here I was, stuck in my room, with the bodyguard on the other side of the door. I’d bet my diamond tennis bracelet he wouldn’t allow Kaden in the room. I texted him but didn’t receive a response.
I heard a ruckus outside the door. Alarmed momentarily, I smiled when I recognized Kaden’s angry tone. I pulled the door open and invited him in, shutting the door and locking it behind him. I kissed him with everything I had because things were starting to fall apart in one area of my life and into place in another.
“What’s going on?” Alarm peppered his voice and raised it a little higher than normal.
“There was a threat tonight, unsubstantiated, but Daddy insisted we get back to the house, where it’s safe.” I spoke calmly, as if what’d happened wasn’t serious, just part of my dad’s overprotective nature.
“What would’ve happened if you’d been living with me, and I’d been on the road? I’d have security, but I wouldn’t be there to keep you safe.”
I glanced away from him, not wanting him to see the conflict raging inside me.
“You’re staying, aren’t you? Taking back your life interrupted.”
“I don’t know.” Anguish poured through me; I was torn between the man I loved with all my heart and the career and ambitions I’d had since I was a child.
“I can’t give you this kind of life. It’s not who I am.”
“I know that, too. I’ve watched you all week. This isn’t you.”
“I’ve watched you, too. I witnessed your passion for issues confronting the poor and marginalized in this country. I’ve heard you speak to your friends with real ideas and solutions. This country needs people like you.” He lowered his voice and swallowed. When he continued, his tone was ragged with emotion. “Maybe this country needs you more than I do.”
A tear escaped and slid down my cheek. He wiped it off with the pad of his thumb and stared at his thumb as if mesmerized. “I don’t know what to do.”
“Actually, you do. I’ve never seen you so alive or animated or energized except in the bedroom. You have so much to give, and I can’t keep you from a nobler cause because I want you loving me.”
“Loving you is the noblest cause I could ever have.”
“No, it’s not. You know that as well as I do. I’ll get a flight out tomorrow.” His expression was stricken, completely devastated, but it was the sadness that undid me. I wouldn’t do this. I’d stay with him.
“If you leave, I’m coming with you.” I knew my words weren’t convincing, because I wasn’t convinced that I wanted to go with him back to Seattle.
�
��No, you’re not. Our country needs good people like you. People whose hearts are in the right place, people who want to make a difference in everyday Americans’ lives. People who are idealists and still believe in this country and what it was founded on. I can’t take you away from the one thing you were destined to do.” He met my gaze, and his eyes were filled with unshed tears. He shoved a strand of errant hair out of his eyes and sighed a long, heart-wrenching sigh of someone about to lose the most important thing in their life.
“I—” The words wouldn’t come. He was right. This was where I could do the most good. This was where I’d always seen myself championing the downtrodden and the silent. How did someone walk away from that calling?
“This is where you need to be.”
“Kaden,” I pleaded, but I knew he was right. I wanted to stay. “We can still have a relationship. We’ll figure this out.”
He shook his head. “I love you. I’ll always love you.” He kissed me softly, with the gentleness of a summer breeze.
“Kaden, I’m sorry. I left so much undone. So many dreams unrealized. I’ll forever wonder what I missed if I don’t go check out this path.”
“I don’t want that. I don’t want you to regret staying with me. You’d grow to hate me. I wouldn’t be able to survive that.”
“I know,” I said, wishing there were words that’d ease our pain, but there wasn’t anything that’d fill this aching void inside of me.
“I guess we’re star-crossed lovers.”
“We were more than lovers.”
“Yeah, we were.” He emphasized the word were, and I cringed inwardly.
“I’m sorry.”
“So am I.”
He turned and quietly left the room. I bit back a sob and threw myself on the bed, uncertain I’d made the right decision.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Without Hockey…
~~Kaden~~
* * *
I couldn’t get a flight out the next day, and I hated standby. I’d be on a flight the following morning.
While Lanie was busy with an interview, I packed up, wrote her a note, and asked the senator’s driver to take me to a hotel near the airport. The room was nondescript, but the hotel did have a bar on the premises, which was something I might take advantage of later.
Once I entered the room, I left my suitcase standing as a lonely sentinel near the door and threw myself on the bed stomach-first. I buried my head in the stack of pillows and shut my eyes. I didn’t cry. I had nothing left. I was numb. My emotions had been wrung out of me during the writing of my goodbye note.
I hugged the stack of pillows, wishing they were Lanie. I squeezed my eyes shut and imagined her naked body under mine as we clung to the last remnants of our mutual orgasms. She’d gaze up at me in wonder, and I’d probably have the same expression gazing down at her. How sex could possibly get any better with her, I’d never know, but it did. Each time, it did. The more layers I peeled as I got to know her, the more I loved her, and the more intense and meaningful our lovemaking became.
I clutched at the pillows, but they weren’t her. They didn’t have her scent or the silky feel of her skin, nor did they moan with pleasure and scream out my name at the apex of desire.
They were just pillows. Fucking, damn pillows.
I rolled over onto my back, propped the pillows behind my head, and flipped through the channels, finally settling on a soap opera of all things. Like I needed more drama in my life.
After five minutes of the nurse revealing she was married to two of the doctors in the hospital and having an affair with two more, I flipped through more channels and found the Food Channel, always my personal favorite outside of the hockey channel. Even the sight of peaches flambeau with a soft flame burning didn’t lighten my crappy mood. Next up was another French dish I couldn’t pronounce, but it looked damn good.
My stomach rumbled. I hadn’t eaten since last night. While my heart might be damaged, my appetite wasn’t. I thumbed through the room service menu and ordered soup, salad, and a club sandwich. That should do it.
Once I hung up, I paced the floor, going over the previous night in my head, but I didn’t come up with a better solution. Lanie was where she needed to be.
If I pulled a “Steele” and made a list, everything would be in favor of Delaney staying here: safety, following her dream, new job, old friends, family, etc. On my side would be one thing—I loved her.
I’d thought it’d always be enough, but it wasn’t.
Losing her made me sick to death, but I’d done the right thing—the only thing. Maybe last night didn’t have to be goodbye. Maybe someday our paths would cross, and we’d be given another chance.
Maybe.
But for now, my heart was truly broken.
My phone buzzed. It was Lanie. My heart quickened with the insane hope she’d decided to go with me, but that was a stupid thing to think. She was lost to me.
Lanie: Where are you?
Me: At the airport.
Lanie: You didn’t say goodbye.
Me: It’s better this way.
Lanie: I’m on my way. We have to talk before you go.
My finger itched to tap out where I was, but I held back. I wouldn’t do this to her. She’d hate me at some point for destroying her dreams. Her hatred would be harder to live with than not having her at all. I tapped out my answer. The only answer I could give her.
Me: Sorry, the plane’s already boarding.
I love you, and only you, forever, I whispered, but I didn’t put that statement into a text.
I shut off the phone, not in the mood to communicate any further. There wasn’t anything further to say other than torturing both of us. Our relationship had been doomed from the beginning. I’d probably always known that, but I’d fought it. Now I didn’t have any fight left in me. It was time to go home and pick up the pieces of my life.
At least I still had hockey.
Without hockey, I didn’t know what I’d do.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Rip
~~Delaney~~
* * *
I sat back in the plush leather seat of the Town Car and sighed. The streetlights began to blink on. It was that timeframe between dusk and darkness, where the lights didn’t really help yet with visibility.
“Where to, Ms. Delaney?” the driver asked. Hennessy had been driving my father around for years, along with other duties as assigned. No one called him by his first name. In fact, I didn’t remember what his name was.
“I’m not sure. I’m supposed to meet my father at the Empire.”
Dad’s friend, the senator who offered me the job, would be dining with us tonight to discuss the specifics of the position. I should’ve been excited, but I wasn’t able to bust through this funk I was in since Kaden left.
“You look as down as your boyfriend did early this morning.”
My head shot up, and I leaned forward, eager for even a tidbit of news regarding Kaden. “My boyfriend? You gave him a ride to the airport?” I didn’t want to say much in front of my bodyguard, who sat directly in front of me.
“No, actually, he wasn’t able to get a flight out until tomorrow. I gave him a ride to the Marriott at the airport.”
The Marriott?
He’d told me a few hours ago that he was boarding the plane. He’d lied to me. He hadn’t wanted to see me. I knew why. This was hard enough without me making it harder by being wishy-washy.
I didn’t speak for the rest of the drive as I was too busy living in my own head. Hennessey pulled the car onto the street and in the direction of the Empire. Regret pummeled me as I debated whether or not I’d made the right decision. There might’ve been other options I could explore. I’d been so excited at the job prospect that I hadn’t properly thought everything through.
I reached in my pocket and unfolded the note Kaden had left me. The handwriting was messy and scrawled across the paper, not fitting within the lines, so very much like Kaden.
Lanie,
Watching you come alive this week with your family and friends, defending your causes and saving the world, I’d be selfish to hold you back. Your father is right. He has the means and connections to keep you safe. Despite my best efforts, I’m not sure I’d protect you properly in Seattle. It seems like most times the right thing is the most painful thing. That’s why I must let you go. Let you become what you’re destined to be. That doesn’t mean I’ll stop loving you, because I won’t. Nor will I say goodbye, because that’s too permanent. But until our paths cross again, I’m yours.
Forever and always,
Kaden.
I sniffled. My eyes welled with tears. I viciously blotted out the tears with a tissue. I wouldn’t be seen crying. Not now. Not after I’d come so far. With a herculean effort, I fought off the sobs clawing to be set free just below the surface.
“Are you okay, ma’am?” Dwight asked. I caught his gaze in the rearview mirror. He knew me well. He’d been in my father’s employ since I’d been a child. I wouldn’t be able to fool him.
“No, but I will be okay.”
“It’s been a tough year or so.”
“That it has.”
Hennessy pulled up to the curb at the Empire, got out, and opened the door for me. I stepped out, clutching my purse as if it were armor against all the things threatening to overwhelm me. The bodyguard regarded me impassively. Showing emotion wasn’t part of his job description, for which I was grateful. I’d rather suffer in silence and in private.
I walked into the familiar lobby. The Empire was one of my dad’s favorite places. Their restaurant was top-notch, with private tables and mouth-watering cuisine. My dad waved at me as I entered, and I walked to the back of the room to a private booth. My bodyguard stayed back at the entrance with my father’s personal bodyguard.
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