Could he read women anymore? More importantly, could he read this woman? Because everything in her eyes said she cared about him. That maybe it would be more than professional courtesy to be upset if he’d blown up. And he had to admit that he cared about her, too.
He mattered to her. The thought was a weight on his chest. He had let someone down the last time they’d mattered to him. He must have, surely, or his wife wouldn’t have been unfaithful, wouldn’t have left him.
He could vaguely hear Ryan’s voice in his head, disputing that. His family had told him it wasn’t his fault. His pastor, too, had reassured him.
Still, some part of him repeated the lie like the echo of a beat on a bass drum.
Your fault. Your fault.
Adriana couldn’t look at him that way. He didn’t deserve it.
But unless he was wrong...she was. He looked away, tried to break whatever pull there was between them.
“What did you think?” she finally asked after a few minutes of neither of them speaking.
“About Nathan Hall?”
“Yes.”
He shook his head. “I can’t believe he’d do that to his wife or Raina. I couldn’t stand to listen to him try to explain.”
“Do you think he knows anything, though? About her disappearance?”
Levi shook his head.
“I agree.” She hesitated. “On both counts. Did...? I mean... You know what, it’s not my business, never mind.”
“What?” he asked as he drove toward the police department. Since the trip to talk to Nathan had mostly been a bust, he wanted to pick up information about the other victims to take back to Adriana’s house to work on. Of course, she didn’t know that yet, but he was hoping she’d be okay with the plan.
He’d toyed with the idea of moving her to a safe house but knew she’d be resistant to that. Sure, they could work on the case at the police department, but she’d still have to go back to her house to sleep. They might as well work from there now. She wasn’t less safe there than she was anywhere else. The attacks could have happened anywhere.
“Nothing.”
Clearly it hadn’t had anything to do with the case, so Levi let it go. It was surprising, though, that she’d think to ask what seemed like it must have been a personal question... Wasn’t it?
He needed to finish this case and get some distance from Adriana. Because it was getting more and more difficult to keep her at arm’s length.
TWELVE
“Anything yet?” Adriana asked from where she sat across from Levi at her dining-room table. Levi had asked if they could work on going over case files at her house and she hadn’t argued. Especially because he’d promised her Chinese food for dinner.
“Nothing is jumping out at me.” He rubbed his head with his hand.
Adriana had been reading an update from her SAR team about what they’d been working on that week, but the look of near defeat on Levi’s face made her want to help him. Even if she was eager to get back to the life she was familiar with.
At this point, even if he asked her to step down, she’d fight him on it. He needed her, whether he wanted to or not.
And she needed to know, strangely, that someone was looking out for him. So far, in all her interactions with him, it had been clear that he was used to being alone. Fending for himself.
Was it wrong to want to be the one who helped him out? Who cared about him?
She had tried over and over again to tamp down those feelings, but so far it hadn’t worked. Adriana was close to giving up. To just letting herself care about him, even if he never let her get close. Even if the feelings were never reciprocated.
But what if she got hurt again...?
“I can try looking, if you think it might be worth it,” she offered with a shrug.
“I’d appreciate it more than I can say.” He exhaled and reached out to hand the papers to her. “Here.”
Her fingers brushed his as she took them. Completely accidental, but she was aware of his touch in a curious kind of way.
“Thanks.” She cleared her throat, then looked down at the documents. At first she focused on the things she already knew about the victims. Age. General build. It was all what Levi had told her it was.
Goose bumps sprang up on her arms the third time she read over them. Victim number three had been married.
“This woman was cheating on her husband, according to the notes of people who were interviewed. Some friends, but also the man she was cheating with, confirmed it. It’s all personal testimony, but it seems pretty for sure.”
“Really?” Levi was frowning. “Is nobody faithful these days?”
Adriana shook her head. “That’s not it. Some people are. Would be.”
That’s when he met her eyes, his own eyes widening.
“So... We’re looking at a biased cross section of society.”
She stopped what she was doing.
“What are you saying?” Adriana asked.
“What if that is one of the things our victims have in common?” he said aloud, and Adriana felt her own eyes widen as she started shuffling through the pile at double the speed. Levi scooted his chair toward hers and starting looking also.
“Victim number four was also dating a married man.”
The same as Raina Marston, though it had only been one date.
How had the killer known? Had they discussed his marriage in the coffee shop? They needed to go back and ask Nathan that.
“Can we link all of them to infidelity of some kind?” Adriana was breathless at the thought that she might have found the link.
“It’s looking like it.”
Victim one—reports indicated she’d been unfaithful.
Victim two—unknown, but they were curious if more digging would turn up something.
“We need to go back and look at the older murders also.”
“If those aren’t in the case files, like that kind of information, probably no one knows anymore. Or people would rather not admit to it however many years later.”
“Almost thirty years. You have a point.”
“Is that what the killer meant, then? As far as rationale?”
Levi stood up and walked across her living room. Then walked back. It was an effortless pace, not frustrated or overly anxious, but it seemed like somehow just the motion of moving helped him to think. And it made Adriana smile because it was just one more part of his personality she thought was fascinating.
“It could be.”
His words were hesitant. But his eyes were shining.
They might have finally found a lead. Her heart skipped. She smiled.
Then she yawned as adrenaline finally started to crash and reached up to cover her mouth with a hand. “I’m sorry, this has been fun but tiring.”
“Let me order dinner.”
She didn’t argue with him. He ordered and half an hour later they were eating in relative silence.
“Thanks,” Levi said around bites. “For helping with this case, and just being a partner sort of these last few days.”
“You don’t miss working alone?” she teased him, a smile on her face so he wouldn’t misread her tone.
He didn’t smile back, though. Instead, he seemed to be thinking. She almost made a joke, anything to lighten the atmosphere that had gotten entirely too serious, but instead she waited, half holding her breath.
“I’m alone too much.”
His words were simple, said with a vulnerability that tugged at Adriana’s heartstrings. That he could be so honest about something like that attracted her even more, and she found the courage to ask something she hadn’t managed to ask before.
“Why haven’t you gotten married? I don’t believe there hasn’t been an opportunity.” She didn’t need to list his good qualities. Surely he was
aware of them.
“I have, actually.”
And this was why she had to remember to keep her mouth shut and stay out of other people’s business. The quiet hum of the fridge was the only noise, besides the drumming of her fingertips on the tabletop.
She hadn’t realized she was drumming. She stilled her hand, shoved it into her lap.
“I am so sorry,” she said, shaking her head. She felt her facial muscles tense as she wrestled with regret. Not just for causing awkwardness; she could handle that. What she hated was that she’d hurt Levi. He was one of the people she’d grown to trust and she’d never wanted to cause him pain.
“No, it’s okay.” He shrugged. “It’s just that no one knows, except Judah, of course. I kind of came here to start over.”
Something else they had in common, though he didn’t know it. Maybe it would be her turn next to share her story.
Rather than being awkward, though, the silence felt full. Adriana took another bite of food. Levi said nothing. They finished eating.
Adriana stood up, took her plate to the sink and was about to ask Levi if he wanted to call it a night and work more in the morning when she heard a noise outside. Sort of a half shuffle, half thump.
Something that sounded very much like someone in her backyard.
“What was that?” she asked, her voice quiet.
Levi’s face was unreadable. Completely blank.
“Get in a closet. Somewhere away from the windows. Now.”
Fear choked her almost immediately, her throat closing so much that it made swallowing difficult. The events of the last few days, the bodies they’d found, all combined to become an overwhelming force suffocating her body’s desire to breathe.
She had to do what Levi said, to push through the panic enough to take shelter.
The pantry was the first place that caught her eye, and she didn’t wait for him to tell her twice. She jumped from the table, then flung open the door and fell to the floor. Blue and Babe followed after her. Even with the addition of the dogs, there was room for at least two more people. Not that there were that many of them there who needed to take shelter.
“Levi, aren’t you coming in?”
“I need to get whoever this is.”
It was like earlier, when he’d insisted she not get in the car and then had started it up on his own. She’d stood there on the deck, farther away from danger, and it had made her feel sick. It felt wrong to let him shoulder all the risk, alone. Even if she was only working with him temporarily, that wasn’t what partners did. Not at all.
“No, come in here,” she insisted.
“I need to—”
“Levi!” The tone that she used wasn’t one she’d heard in ages, probably years. It was every ounce of bossy and “don’t take no for an answer” that she possessed, and it worked, because he came to the door and looked at her.
“If you leave, I’m unprotected here. At least, for my sake, stay here.” She tried that tactic and saw by the look on his face that he accepted it.
He sat down, pulled the door closed. “Thank you.”
She buried her hands in Blue’s fur, loving the feel of it between her fingers, fluffy and full.
Levi had pulled out his phone, the light illuminating the mostly dark pantry. The bulb had gone out months ago and she’d never gotten around to replacing it. “Judah, listen, it’s Levi. Someone is here, at Adriana’s house. Outside. I saw a shadow and Adriana heard a noise. I’ve got her in an interior closet, the pantry, away from the windows, but I don’t like that someone has escalated to stalking.”
Was the serial killer escalating, if he’d added stalking to his list of crimes? It was a lesser charge than murder, but it was a different one than those he or she had been committing. Adriana found herself wondering, mostly to keep her mind occupied.
“Thanks,” Levi said and disconnected, rubbing the back of his neck. “Someone will be right over.” He looked at the door again, like he was considering leaving.
“Please,” she said again. He nodded. She reached for his hand, truly more for reassurance than anything. She only meant to squeeze it once. But he tightened his grip.
And didn’t let go.
His phone screen went black. They were back in the dark.
Then there was silence again. Levi broke it, in a voice barely above a whisper.
“I was married once.”
He felt closer in the darkness. The conversation felt more natural.
“What...?” Her voice trailed off, curiosity making her ask the question and then self-consciousness making her immediately wonder if she should have. She wanted to know. But she didn’t want him to feel like he had to tell her.
She could still barely breathe, though the pressure on her chest had eased slightly. Listening to his voice seemed to do that, make her calm down.
“She divorced me, five years ago. After she cheated on me. Then died a couple of years later. Car accident.”
To have had a loss doubled like that... Adriana couldn’t even imagine that, so didn’t say anything.
“I guess you probably... I mean, I guess it answers your question. I did try the marriage thing. I wasn’t very good at it. So. Now you know.”
Adriana could barely breathe. Her chest was tight with his pain, with knowing that he blamed himself. Adriana wasn’t stupid. She knew that every relationship took two people and when a relationship broke up both usually had roles to play.
But she’d also seen friends’ marriages end without their permission, despite everything they’d desperately tried to patch up that someone else had willingly broken.
“It wasn’t your fault.” He’d said the woman had cheated on him. Couldn’t he see that took the blame away from him for their broken relationship? Did he see that he could have a second chance, start over?
Her heart pounded in her chest, suddenly aware of his proximity in a way that related to more than just safety.
“I wasn’t good at marriage. I guess some people just aren’t meant for relationships.” All she knew was that rather than say all that she was thinking, Adriana leaned toward him. Then she caught herself. Was she really doing this?
She could see the silhouette of his face in the dark, close to her, but not close enough. He moved another inch or two toward her.
She reached up, brushed his cheek with her hand, feeling the stubble along it. Definitely not just a friendly gesture.
There was no going back now. Adriana lifted her face to his and met his lips with hers. It was a kiss unlike any she’d had before. A whisper of reassurance in the dark, something not slow and lingering, but not fast and passionate, either. It was firm. Steady. Soft.
The man might say he wasn’t good at relationships, but man, could he kiss. Adriana kissed him back, leaning closer to him as she did so.
For the first time since she could remember, she felt like she wasn’t alone.
She felt safe.
* * *
Levi didn’t know how they’d gone from talking about what a failure he was to kissing, but then her lips were on his and he couldn’t have argued with that if he’d tried.
He did know when to pull away, though, and did so, although he felt breathless. When she’d kissed him, he’d forgotten his questions about whether there was something wrong with him that made him too broken for relationships. No, when she kissed him, nothing in him felt broken. She was like healing and wholeness, or at least the reminder of the fact that those could be possible, wrapped up in one beautiful package... One who was kissing him. Alone. In a dark closet. That was why he’d needed to pull away.
Because he wanted to do this right. He wanted to be good at relationships, starting with making sure he didn’t promise something more than he was willing to give right now.
Besides all that, she might still be in danger. He needed eve
ry sense on alert right now for what might be happening outside.
When she was kissing him? She was all any of his senses noticed.
She was certainly a distraction.
He swallowed hard.
“I’m not sorry,” she said, head still close to his. Their foreheads were almost touching and he could feel her breath on his cheek. “Please, please don’t say you’re sorry. Are you?”
He wouldn’t, because he wasn’t. But, oh, what had he been thinking? They’d been working together so well, and everything could be jeopardized because of that kiss.
But everything was possible because of that kiss, too. The second chance he’d never really thought he could have was sitting in front of him in a darkened pantry.
His phone beeped.
“My brother’s here.” Levi stood, and Adriana did, too. They were still close together. And somehow it didn’t make Levi want to back away. Instead, he fought the desire to pull her toward him and kiss her again.
“Are you okay?” she asked, softly, like the walls between them were gone. Like she cared and wasn’t afraid to show it and wasn’t afraid who knew.
“Adriana?” He turned to her, intending to speak, but her full lips caught his eye, and he closed his eyes to kiss her one more time. Softly, with purpose.
“Yes?” she answered after breaking off the contact, sounding as stunned by the entire situation as he felt.
“That question you asked earlier? I’m not sorry, either,” he said and stepped out into the light of the kitchen, heading toward the front door.
His heart was still pounding when he got to the front door, and not from the danger, either. This time it was something else entirely.
Someone else.
How many years had he known Adriana and just been driven crazy by things about her that now made him feel captivated? Timing was a funny thing.
Maybe he hadn’t been ready before.
Was he now? He shook off the question before it could fully land, the feeling of her lips on his still fresh in his mind. The way it felt to have someone look at him like he mattered, like they trusted him.
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