My family legacy and my destiny was to save lives. However, I keep finding myself contemplating whom to and not to murder in cold blood than who to rescue from the brink of death. Innocent people are nonexistent today and may have only been a myth to start with. What does exist is a scale of culpability, and honestly I do not think any person or society is authorized to judge humanity, but I can judge whoever harms myself or the ones that I love. Why do the guilty ones, make the best judges on their fellow man? Is it because they want to punish as many people they can before they themselves are punished by the laws of men or by the laws of religions.
This Boss and his men are already dead in my mind and what is left is me witnessing it to complete this necessary reality of mine. I have to kill you to survive, it’s proactive self-defense, not a cycle of perversion. Life is finite and hate is eternal. The nightmares of what I am going to do them will replace the nightmares of what they have done to me. My conscience sanctions it, this could be wishful thinking and I might become bedridden with depression. To be so lucky. What if I’m trapped in sleep paralysis, experiencing my deepest fears from within the darkest corners of my heart.
I take no joy in taking lives, but fewer and fewer things give joy to my days. Joy is a indulgence for the ignorant. Revenge will always be the coal that feeds the flames of my soul and that fire shines greater than any misguided doubts. I will have to kill an entire group not just one man. A tall order to possibly choke on. If not, my life will be in jeopardy even more so. Some men might have families; will it be crueler not to kill them as well? Prognosticating about death never leads to a good place. Right and reality are seldom on the same page. Never able to achieve fulfillment is a concept many hide behind to excuse their bad behavior throughout their lives. I will not use this ideal to ease what little guilt and remorse I might have left when the deed is finished.
Revenge is a natural feeling like love. Why is one accepted and the other banished, love kills too. You can increase the probability on how people will treat you, by either committing a good or bad act against them. Karma is probability, not a guarantee.
Revenge is necessary to cull the criminal element even if that means I will have to die as well. Revenge has seeped into every cell of my body and I need to purge myself in order to feel whole again.
There is a fruitlessness of staying powerless when worse men than yourself take from you and expect you not to act. It is as nonsensical, like when a person strikes you in the face and expects you to be grateful that worse was not done to you. Testicular fortitude is needed not sentimentality for the idealized versions of what your enemies could be.
Justice is polite revenge, though not every person deserves such a kindness. Man like all great predators, soar to the top of the food chain, not through politeness, but through cruel intentions. The difference between man and beast is man’s capacity for guilt and reason in regards to violence. Both guilt and reason are whittled away from man’s conscience with each malicious act taken. My conscience was once a great red wood tree reaching towards the heavens, and now it is but a stomp. Once it is fully gone, who will I become?
My sins are absolved through the elimination of everyone who knew of them. Once I die I’ll feel better. If we’re going to wake up in hell tomorrow lets do what we want today. People deserve a second chance, but they also deserve to die.
David
4
The next morning, the Indians wake David up.
He says. “Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.”
Youngblood says. “I don’t think anyone is coming, sorry.”
David rubs his eyes. “I don’t blame them.”
David spends an hour preparing, gathering supplies, and talking to friends. He waves goodbye, walking away from the camp. A cool breeze hits his face as Ava runs up to him.
Ava says. “I’m coming, too.”
“I can’t, Phillip would kill me.”
Ava says. “They have my family.”
David says. “Ava, the group needs you here. Lead everyone to safety.” She stares him down with her piercing blue eyes. “I brought them here, I’ve help them enough. Besides, I’m just as good or better than you with any weapon, you need me to protect your back from everything out there. I’m coming if you like it or not.”
David says. “It’s worst than a suicide mission, I don’t know how strong this Boss person is.”
Ava says. “What else do I have to live for?”
David hesitates; he paces with his hands on his hips and his head down, then says. “Ugh…put a silencer on the assault rifle and don’t forget a blade.”
Ava says. “This is not my first rodeo.”
A stern David says. “Don’t second guess any of my choices out there. Those creatures are dumb, but they’re dangerous when we’re just as dumb.”
Ava says. “Got it. Jeez, you sound like my husband already.”
David goes in to kiss her. She dodges her face back like he’s a zombie.
He says. “Don’t second guess me, remember.”
David smiles and shrugs. “Sorry, it felt like one of those moments.”
The Indians laugh at David, Ava walks away smiling as well. Cooper comes up to David like a jolly chaperone as they watch Ava. “It’s no use arguing with a woman, you’ll learn that, my silly friend.”
Youngblood says to Ava as she picks up her pack. “Can I ask you something?”
Ava says. “First answer my question. Who are you?”
Youngblood says. “Our leader is my uncle and my friend here, is, no I mean, was his business partner. We’re looking for our people, nothing complicated.” Youngblood gazes around. “Why does your group listen to and follow a young man?”
Ava says. “The same reason as you, a means to an end, a happy end.”
5
With the sun shining through the living room windows, David strolls up to and rests his forehead against his mom’s back as she stands near the home phone. “What’s for breakfast?”
She takes a sip of hot coffee. “Nothing.”
He picks his head up. “I’ll see you tomorrow then, I’m going back to bed, mother.”
Diana says. “Wait. Before you go back to your boy cave. Listen, my friend’s bringing her daughter with her today. I want you to come with me to meet her later.”
David says. “So, what you’re pimping me out now. I’ll go next time. Pass.”
Diana says. “You need to be more social and would it kill you to spend time with your mother.”
David looks out the window at the men trimming the bushes. “How much time?”
Diana rinses her mug under the faucet. “You need to spend as much time as you can with others, be it friends, family, or acquaintances because when you get old and are in a retirement home, where no one visits you, you will regret your youth. Trust me.”
David closes the silver fridge door and opens the tea jug. “Ah…fine. You know best.”
Diana smiles with squinty eyes and fine laugh lines around her mouth. Her and David have the same smile. “Don’t say anything rude to them. You hear me.”
David says. “Is she fun to be around, does she like to laugh?” He makes an ugly face and hunches his back. “Or is she a sourpuss…”
Diana leans back against the marble countertops with both hands. “I hope so. I thought you were going to ask about her looks.”
“I’m not worried; you can help her out in that department, if need be.”
Diana says. “I’m not that kind of doctor.”
He laughs, playfully poking her in the stomach. “Kidding, don’t stress yourself out too much for nothing, she probably won’t like my face, so don’t think too much about this date. There’s a ocean of women who will never like me.”
“That’s not how the saying goes.”
A few hours later, a prompt David puts on his dark blazer in the hallway of family photos and departs with his mom to join his date for lunch.
At the restaurant, David says as he walks in. “This
must be how ladies-in-waiting feel.” He wants to keep on talking, but his mom slightly elbows him in the stomach because her colleague/friend is approaching. His date is chatting with her mom and she looks prim and proper, and most of all, irritated. The old friends say hi, followed by a long pause. So David extends his hand towards his date. “David, it’s so nice to meet you both. I’ve heard nothing, but good things.” The girl returns the gesture and during the handshake, squeezes his hand the hardest he’s ever felt. David says, “ouch,” and backs into a server with two sweet teas. They spill over the man’s white shirt. The girl’s mom pulls her to the side behind the hostess’s counter.
David says to everyone, massaging his palm. “Really, it’s ok, it’s ok.” He looks at his mom and she’s trying not to laugh, like the other women viewing the spectacle.
He tells Diana. “I’ll meet you lovely ladies at the table, I’m going to the restroom.”
When he exits the restroom, a broad hip waitress zooms past him with a tray of food, pushing him halfway back into the restroom. I hope there’s no badass kids running around. The things we do for our mothers.
His date is sitting on the bench nearby; she’s wearing a summer dress with her hair pulled up, and has on dark eye makeup. David strolls past her without speaking a word even though he clearly notices her.
She says as she rises. “David, I’m so sorry.” A cheerful kid points at him. David stops and turns, twisting his hurt hand. Be nice. “Lucky you didn’t break my hand, my mom would have killed you. These are doctor’s hands she likes to say.”
David forces an awkward smile, gives her a tiny salute and walks away. His date catches up to his side. “I did that to piss my mother off, it was nothing against you.” She waits for David to respond, but he just nods, so she says. “David, do you want to leave this place together?”
He says. “I don’t know, you scare me a little.” His mom is arguing with the waiter. “How?”
She says. “I took my mom’s keys.” She dangles them between their faces. “Whaddya say, Mama’s Boy?”
David gazes around the place. “They did say they wanted us to get to know each other, right?”
The girl gestures with her head. “Follow me, this way.”
David hurries past her and holds the door for her with his good hand.
In the car, David feels the urge to invent conversation, but instead watches people on the sidewalk in fascination.
On the freeway, the girl says. “So...You’re going to go to school to be a doctor.” Staring into the dense trees, he says. “I could do worst.”
The girl accelerates cutting off drivers. David clinches the side of the door.
She says. “Relax...”
David glances over at her. “Slow down, will you.”
She says. “Hey, have you seen the new cars with the two smaller steering wheels that will go right here, so we can turn our wrists like this, like horny boys to breasts.”
David says. “You sound bitter, I wonder why.”
She says. “Are you working your up way up to say fuck you? David don’t take this the wrong way, I don’t want to go out with you.”
David says. “Ok, just please slow down.”
She says. “I’m dating someone already, he’s the one I can feel it.” She taps her heart twice.
David crosses his fingers. “Me too.”
She grins then goes faster. “Maybe, if we met before him it could have been special between us.”
David says with a smirk. ”Maybe, oh how I envy him.”
She says. “Shut up. I saw you looking.” She stares at him for seven slow seconds.
“I have eyes, that’s what they do.” David closes his eyes, he can hear honking.
“I think your bun is pulled too tight.” David goes to turn the radio louder, but she cuts him off by saying. “Hey, did you see those meteorites on the news that landed in Russia?”
David says. “Yes, just real quick though, small rocks can never hurt us.”
She says. “I don’t know. You know, I’m one of those doomsday preparers, I’m always ready for anything.”
David says. “Sounds fun.”
She disregards his sarcasm. “I’ve been doing research on old and new solar power bunkers in this country. It’s the first place I would go if a disaster was to happen.”
David says. “Just get your man to protect you, you don’t need those rickety bunkers.”
She looks over at him, writes on a piece of paper. “Here’s my number so we can be girlfriends and talk, and so our parents will stop nagging us. Don’t catch feelings.”
David grabs the wheel as she writes. “I’m going to call you every time your boyfriend is around for hurting my precious hand.”
She says. “Cry baby, I don’t have a boyfriend I just wanted to see how you would act.”
David says. “I live to serve women. So tell me more about these bunkers.” He has a odd and new feeling he can’t quite register. Perhaps, it’s the sensation of discovering he has found his type.
She smiles and slows down.
6
The Indians all have Winchester repeating rifles, late 1800s design, bows, and different camouflage/bulletproof vests under their dark brown duster coats. Their heads are shaven, except Youngblood, sporting a mohawk hairstyle.
Lou has a black riot shotgun used by police officers, a black Swat vest, David’s shield, and a metal mace with over a dozen small spikes on it. The Chief and Cooper have Mexican bolo blades, as well as an assortment of hand knives and handguns. Youngblood has a climber pickaxe on his saddle and a small hatchet on him.
Ava has her MP5 with a sight, a scope, and a shoulder rest; she also has a couple of 9mm handguns with silencers as well. Ava has her long brown hair in a ponytail and she’s wearing a tan colored tactical vest with a kukri blade (10 inch curved knife) hanging upside down on her chest. She also has a metal bat in her bag.
David has brought along another pair of solar power walkies: so now Ava, the Chief, and Lou will each get one. David checks his compass watch, taps his colt revolvers and army knife that’s on his belt at all times, more knives and handguns are in his bag, along with a M32 grenade launcher: a two-handed grenade launcher, with different types of ammo. He also brought along his custom machete with its long black blade and brass-knuckled handle, and lastly his new Indian bow. He doesn’t have a vest, only a black leather jacket and a poncho which is soaked in zombie blood. The whole group is wearing worn out jeans and combat boots.
Before David heads for the river, he talks to Youngblood and gives him a black jacket with a hoodie. David says. “For me shooting you and to cover up that hair.” Youngblood takes the jacket and modifies it by removing the sleeves. David smiles, then says. “I know it’s a start, but in the right direction.”
David runs up to catch up to Ava and tells her. “In our bunker hearing your voice gave me hope, he looks in the distance ahead of him. I never imagined my life to end this way.” Ava doesn’t say anything, but instead gives him a terse nod.
“Lets head out.”
David’s group heads for the other dirt bike near his bunker for Ava, then they get to the river with relatively no trouble.
On the calm grassy riverbank, the other group awaits for David. Upon arrival, the Chief asks. “Who this?”
David says. “Ava, my lady friend.” The Chief is about to give David the walkie back, but David says. “Keep it and try to conserve power.” He walks over to Lou and hands him the last walkie. “It’s fully charged.”
Lou keeps an eye on Ava as she walks by. “Why did you bring a cheerleader with a gun, David? Don’t fall behind baby girl. I can’t guarantee your safety and I’m not going to help him bury you.”
Ava says. “Good, I won’t feel bad either when you die first.”
Lou smirks and lies back. “Get a look at GI Jane.”
Ava hikes up the hill to David, Youngblood rejoins his friends to tell them what they’ve missed.
Av
a says to David. “You sure about these guys, they seem okay, but how are they in a fight.”
David constantly looks around and starts to refill his water bottles. “Don’t know yet, but they’re motivated and that’s a big part of finishing anything.”
Ava does the same as David. “I’m motivated too, but remember your friend’s safety first.”
“Always. Don’t be jealous.” David watches the small fish. “Let me know if Lou does something you don’t like.”
“Why you’re going to beat him up for me big brother.”
“Something like that, he wanted me dead a few times and I shot Youngblood, only a flesh wound though.”
Ava says. “Wow, everywhere you go, you make friends.”
David lies back on the bank with his legs bent. “I’m working on a master plan for this Boss and this rescue. He has a chopper and vehicles, his home is most likely a bunker like ours or bigger somewhere. If it is a bunker, we know the layout and how it operates to disable the power. We’re going to need to create as many advantages as we can.”
Ava says. “Why a bunker?”
David drinks a whole bottle of water with an upturned mouth. “It’s the safest place to stay in for big groups around here. Or he might live in Emerald City, for all I know. It has to be a bunker I feel it in my bones.”
Ava looks at David. “I’m sorry for what I said up there. I know how you feel. I didn’t mean it.”
David says looking forward. “It’s ok, don’t worry about it. You’re by my side now that’s what counts.”
Ava says. “It’s ok to be mad, you don’t have to pretend to be funny and strong all the time.”
David gets up. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Part of me is saying to run and hide from all of this, but I was never a good listener. That’s no joke.”
Genesis Virus Page 10