David comes out of the tunnels, into a cellar, and the pale moon through the window in the crook helps him find the stairs. He thought he was following a foul smell to freedom, but that was only his new clothes. David creeps up the steps, they creak louder and louder with each step, dust floats in the air and moonlight. His eyes burn adjusting to the outside light and his flashlight, as if he’s a mole-man seeing the light for the first time.
At the top, he sees a shadow passing through the hallway to another room. He crotches low and paces forward until he can place his back up against a corner at the end of the dark hallway. He’s had enough dark hallways for a lifetime and a part of him wants to run through this building and be done with this place and fast forward this night. He could of interrogated any of the men he murdered in the tunnels and be out of this place, but it felt good giving them what they deserve, in the moment. Kill this guy and catch up to the group, if you have to, head for the Jeep where you found Delilah.
There’s a window leading to the outside hanging on the top right of the hallway. David feels something by his boot; it’s an empty can. He throws it at the window, breaking it and causing noise to echo in the building. David stands up straight and presses his back against the wall, waiting…waiting…waiting.
Slow footsteps advance in the hallway towards our new Engineer. David regrips his knife then hears the boots break the glass more on the ground and then complete silence. Unexpectedly, the crunching glass sounds like someone is turning on their heels and right at this sound David rushes forward grabbing the person from behind off-guard by their jacket and he’s about to stab downward and towards himself. However, he stops inches away from the person’s heart because he feels a soft material, it’s odd for such a dirty place; Though in the meantime, Youngblood elbows David in the face, whacking the knife to the ground. Youngblood swings his arm and fires two shots. David runs and jumps, landing on his elbows behind the corner. Quickening footsteps are racing down the hallway.
David shines his light into Youngblood’s eyes, in case he’s wrong. “It’s me. David…I let you go and was about to talk before you hit me in the mouth.”
Youngblood says. “You scared the life out of me, my heart’s beating too fast. I need to sit down.” Youngblood’s on the ground with his palm on his chest, telling his body it’s ok.
David says. “I’m standing up, don’t shoot me. He smiles as he helps Youngblood up. “I know Ava’s around here somewhere, who else came?”
“Lou and my Uncle.”
Youngblood hands him the other gun. “It’s fully loaded. What happened to you?”
David picks up his trusty knife. “They dragged me underground, it’s a maze down there and I’ll killed their leader and a few other guys like vampires, with this knife to their hearts.”
Youngblood says. “I know how they felt.” He wipes the dirt crumbs from his mouth. “You look like a coalminer with soot all over you.”
Youngblood leads David out of the weather-beaten building, cobwebs in the holey walls. “This town should be cleared out by now. “They didn’t have many guns. I actually feel somewhat bad for them. Us slaughtering them all like pigs.”
David walks toward the front door. “Don’t, they were planning on eating all of us like stuffed pigs.”
Youngblood says. “Never mind then.” He walks down the steps and shouts. “He’s okay.”
Within a few minutes and after walkie confirmation it’s somewhat safe, so everyone gathers in the center of the town on the street around lanterns, exchanging stories. David listens and remains quiet, taking off the Engineer’s clothes before he walks away. Would have it been better, not to come down here and let them continue killing? They weren’t my problem.
Lou says to Cooper. “There was only two small groups of men in two houses. I and Ava took a shot in our vests. The price of running in first. We had it harder than David.”
Ava tells everyone. “Let’s stay here, it’s safe now, it’s a Dead Town.”
Youngblood says. “What about all the bodies?” Meaning do we bury them.
Ava says. “Fuck ‘em.”
The Chief says. “We’ll burn them.” To be safe and respectful.
8
Hours later, David writes in his journal.
At the edge of nothing, time masks all wounds in this enduring world. We no longer have the luxury of dwelling in certainty. All of us are tethered to a dying civilization and now mankind walks and lives in the greys of sanity and wonders into endless days of suffering. Before this, I spoke and thought like a child; now I’m a man because childish things were taken away from me. He stops writing at the sound of footsteps and squeezes his gun.
Delilah has a blanket around her body like a toga, she moves in it as best she can without falling, David is sitting alone outside in the dark near a weak lantern.
She says. “It’s hard to sleep at night when no one loves you, people want you dead and everyone you know is dead, and the dead want you dead. Dead, dead, dead.”
David does a double take and murmurs. “You’re preaching to the choir.”
Delilah raises her hands high. “Hallelujah.” She laughs to herself, trying to break the tension, then says. “What are you doing out here looking sad for? The hero of a thousand faces. I didn’t see what happened underground, but I bet it was intense, to say the least.”
David says to her as she sits down next to him. “Just thinking sad stuff through, because nobody wants to hear the sad parts of your life. Any show of weakness makes you automatically weak in people’s eyes. And for men it’s worst. No one wants to constantly relive your sad moments with you. I don’t blame them, they don’t even want to relive their own problems.”
Delilah stares off into the stars. “Yeah, it’s like talking about your dreams, if they’re not a part of them, who cares right?”
David says. “Awake or asleep?”
She’s hesitates, then says in a hurry. “Both.”
They laugh until she says. “My point is people don’t give a shit like you’re saying, though my version lacks finesse.” She moves her fingers fast. “The world is full of mindless murdering, but life still has value regardless of the person.”
“As long as we are among humans, let us be humane.” David says after a moment to himself. “Funny thing is, if this virus never happened I was going to save lives and be a doctor like my mother, but this virus stole everyone’s potential away.”
Delilah talks over him, turning his way. “I’ve might have been a drug addict or worst like my mom, this virus gave me a different potential. The here and now is all that matters.”
David looks at her as if she’s lying, so she forgoes her train of thought and says. “What? My mom’s dead and what’s the point with lying to ourselves anymore. I’m not putting her down or anything, I miss her regardless of who she was.”
Delilah can see that David’s feeling the urge to stop talking about dead mothers, so she drops it.
He tells her. “You could stay here now, it’s safe, if I survive this. I’ll head back here and lead you to our group if you want.”
The pair is sitting side-by-side on a quaint porch with their legs dangling off the side. She puts her hand on top of his and flashes a smile. David puts his head down forwardly and says, not noticing her. “It’s been years of this and I have more years of this to look forward to. Lucky me. I’m tired of killing, but I knowmore people have to die for many others to be happy. I’m losing my life and I have for years, I don’t know how much more stress I can take. Bad things can come from good deeds and good people do get punished for doing them. Perhaps, I should toughen up and enjoy killing.” He looks at the blood under his fingertips. “Fuck what people think.”
David leans back and lies down and she does the same because it feels right. Delilah says looking into his eyes. “Why are you telling me all of this?”
He says. “Why not, we’ve both have been through a lot like everyone else. Probably because you’re a
stranger who I’ll never see again. Less judgment.”
Delilah looks straight up with one hand over her stomach. “I’m scared of dying alone and having no purpose in my life. And I hate being scared everyday and not knowing if I’m going to eat today. David I want to come along with you. People are scarce and good people are even harder to find, almost nonexistent. But I’m talking to a good person right now and I’m afraid I’m not going to see you ever again.” The sentiment was honest, although to her the words came out a little too melodramatic and she suddenly feels vulnerable.
David listens on intently, not giving her the impression he finds her to be a silly girl. “You can stay here and figure your life out. This is still America, the land of opportunity.”
“Thanks for your permission.”
“It’s not an order, it’s a good idea.”
Delilah changes the subject. “I wanted to help rescue you, but Ava threatened to shoot me.”
David smiles and says. “She didn’t.”
Delilah smiles and crosses her fingers then heart. “She did, God honest.”
David sits up and looks back at her, she’s still lying down, her face flushed. “Just think about what I said about being safe. You don’t owe me anything. Please lookout for yourself.” He gets up and walks away with his journal in his hand.
“Hey. Can you spare some paper and a pen? I heard it’s supposed to help for falling asleep.”
He gives her what she needs and disappears into the night.
Delilah says before he gets to far away. “I’ll think about it.” Her mind’s already made up. It changed after this conversation.
9
Hi, I’m Delilah……………
I recently meet a person named David; he seems harmless until he’s not. Liking men and helping them is not anti-feminist, if that was the case, the world wouldn’t be overpopulated with monsters. Women love to fuck men and want to impress them just as much as men want to impress women, but you never hear the term anti-masculine because why would men let ideologies or terminology limit their choices in life, that sad job is left up to women. Who willingly compete against each other over petty self-comparison. Burkas and covering up women’s bodies do not work. Muslim men who marry these women had multiple wives, defeating the purpose of disregarding looks. They are perverts with an alibi just like the Mormons with multiple wives, this shows a lack of self-control on the part of the men, but they expected absolute self-restraint from women, and the women who obey them were just as stupid. Don’t make it a habit of making excuses for people you love, you’ll end up coming up with reasons for them to treat you awful. Don’t let others dictate your self-worth. You deserve more than scraps of love. A willing prostitute feels powerful and in control too until they finally open their eyes to see their puppet master for what he truly is, a man exploiting their self-loathing.
A person can love more than two people at once, so why can’t they feel multiple emotions at once, conflicting yet understandable to the person. “I love you, but hate your disrespect,” why does only one have to exist always towards another person. Stop trying to protect society’s image of you. If we could decide who we fall in love with the world would be a happier place, sadly that’s not the case and we’re left with choices that never seem great.
I’m stuck in the place that I feared my whole life. When I was seven, I think, not sure, but it was before I was ten, when my dad told me a story that changed me. He said “at the End of Days, which will happen in our lifetime, there will be two groups, believers and nonbelievers, if you don’t believe, you’ll burn forever in a lake of fire and if you do believe, you will be brutally killed by nonbelievers after years of punishment on Earth.” So I frightfully believed him and chose to be a believer and hope not to be discovered by the bad men when the bad times did happened. I couldn’t sleep that night and nights after that because I didn’t want to suffer, but religion says I have to and maybe if I suffer enough I can go to heaven. A cost worth fighting for. I always hoped I’ll be dead before my dad was right.
The feeling of less than drives everyone, either to greatness or great sadness. Feeling like shit is the reason why people do evil shit, not looks, religion, or anything else, that’s only surface level hate. Hating yourself that’s the root of all evil. Because someone made you feel bad in the past is no reason to treat people bad in your present. “Duh.” People say, but they don’t live by obvious truths probably because they’re worrying about other people not being decent to them therefore why should they be. Women judge women so naturally like breathing they think that’s the way it has to be, to be real in this world. Built-in deniability and hatred. Think about every friend you ever had, how did you bond, was it by looking at strangers and saying what you loved about them, “I love the way she helps people,” or was it what you hated about them, “look at that short fat bitch, she thinks she’s better than everyone.” Bonding occurs through shared experience, opening up, and the easiest one, is hating others. Easy to admit that the world is superficial, hard to admit you are. Complaining about the world, but you act exactly like everyone who’s creating it. It’s like eating your own shit and whining that it doesn’t taste great.
I miss surfing Ocean Beach and walking the boardwalk with friends at Mission Beach, incognito and viewing silly boys. My father would take me hunting during deer season and when it was his turn to have-me-season. I was starting to hate everything about him except, his sharing of his love of nature with me and now I can’t even remember the last time I said anything remotely nice to him. My father, I knew him, but he still feels like a stranger, time is a vast ocean keeping us apart. I will never make him a grandpapa like he always wanted and I will never be a grandma with grandkids like I wanted. Now, I wouldn’t even want to bring more life into this cesspool.
I know I’m beautiful, clever, and a decent person. Start each day with a positive affirmation, it works. “Today will be better than yesterday.” Brooding about in the limelight is for attention and is selfish.
Why is being inherently beautiful and appreciative of it, such a bad thing? Rather than addressing long-term problems that kept our society rooted in a modern Dark Ages with better gadgets, people wanted to spend their time convincing someone to hate himself or herself if they looked pretty or ugly because a society will always have a group that will hate a person for feeling any type or kind of way. This mentality of worrying about silly issues and worst, clogged news media and entertainment outlets that influenced generations of people into becoming apathetic world citizens; to the point where vital issues like world poverty, lack of water, and modern sex slavery. Were overlooked and overshadowed because these issues and worst, seemed insurmountable to remedy. Because it would have taken a global effort rather than just a personal effort to make a vital change. Which is easier? To convince one person or seven billion people to believe in an idea and to act? We have a chance to be new people; everyone who doubted us is long gone.
Social and equality issues should not even be issues, not that they are not important, but because they are so important that it shouldn’t even be up for debate. Equality for all, problem solved. Tolerance is not acceptance. Global warming was killing the world and millions of people through extreme weather changes, but the biggest issue of the day was, “is it okay for gays to marry and do women deserve equal pay?” It sounds dumb because it is. People who spouted hateful rhetoric are dead and their followers too, we can be the first generation that starts life on a better footing and leave behind all that baggage of the past.
The undead have taken everything from me that I never appreciated. I’m not the only one with problems, but that doesn’t make my problems any less important. Becoming the sanest insane person is the best one can hope to become in this new world order if we can’t work together. No one can fly out of this ghoulish nightmare alone. God pisses on us all, we can either drown in it or drown others. Is what men and women think when they get up and it makes all their actions bea
rable. It’s more lying to yourself like the women wearing that burka, fashionable control, it feels right and everyone who thinks otherwise is wrong. I never needed a religion shouting the end is inevitable. What the world always needed was a practical way of knowing how to survival together, rather than spending most of our time shunning people who are different and pose no actual threat.
Humans are physically weaker compared to other animals. The irony is, humans are the smartest creatures on Earth because we can create sophisticated tools, but as a species we did nothing to prevent the annihilation of mankind because not only are we physically weaker, but more importantly we are mentally weaker than a herd of animals that unconditionally want to protect each other. Wanting more than the next person was the social norm to define our personal existence even at the expense of eradicating all existence. This destructive behavior that killed the planet was the logical and natural progression for humanity over the millennia, if not, why are the few that are left, so afraid to cry even in their sleep.
I will find my brother no matter what; he’s all I have left.
If I die tonight I pray the Lord my soul to take.
Chapter Seven
1
The disc is slowly spinning on the record player and the volume is slightly louder than the needle scratching the vinyl. Vivaldi’s Four Seasons is playing.
The Boss sits on the corner of his desk with his hands in his lap. “Phillip, is killing a baby worst than a adult?”
“Yes.”
“But why? So why can you put more value on lives, but I can’t. My people are the most valuable to me…please speak freely, no point in waiting for the perfect time.”
A standing Phillip lifts and drops books after reading the titles. “I haven’t been an idiot since diapers, so don’t talk to me like one.” He can’t make up his mind, whether the Boss is a verisimilitude man, a simulation, or the embodiment of delusions of grandeur. Perhaps all three and more.
Genesis Virus Page 20