by Raquel Belle
“It started the first week of classes, or the second week. We met off-campus and started seeing each other, casually at first but now it’s a serious relationship,” I said. I had to lie, if I admitted to having sex in my office, I was definitely going to be fired.
“Who came on to whom?” Prescben jotted down information onto the form almost mechanically. I wondered how many times he’s had to fill out that kind of a form before.
“I came onto her,” I said. He sighed and flipped the page, he kept writing.
“Have you ever given her an unfair advantage in class?” he asked.
“Never, she’d kick my ass if I did,” I said. He nodded and wrote.
“You two love each other?” he asked. Prescben looked directly into my eyes then. I froze, there was no way to act natural after that question unless I intended to lie.
“I don’t know if she loves me,” I said, answering as honestly as I could. In that, I just admitted something huge to myself and my heart felt like it was going to sprint away from me.
“Good to know,” he said. Prescben continued filling out the packet. “You know, you didn’t have to report this to me unless you’re afraid something bad might come out,” he said. Prescben put the packet down and capped his pen. “Do you think she’ll break up with you, try to throw you under the bus for something?”
“I want to be able to hold hands with her, have lunch with her in my office and not be afraid of being called out by other professors or students who might try to call me out,” I said. “I see a future with Naomi which means…” I wasn’t sure if I should tell him that she was pregnant. She’d definitely start showing by the middle of next semester.
“Is she pregnant?” Prescben made a leap with that question but he wasn’t wrong to ask. I didn’t respond and he took a deep breath. He uncapped his pen and continued filling out the packet. “I can’t let that go unreported, then,” he muttered. “Of all the women to choose from, you had to pursue a student?” he asked.
“She…I was just drawn to her, Doctor Prescben,” I said.
He chuckled and shook his head, “Isn’t that always the case?” he said rhetorically. He finished filling out the form in silence. “Look, I have no choice but to submit this to the ethics committee. If any wrongdoing or explicit violations of the conduct code are found, it would be you to take the fall,” he warned.
“I understand,” I said.
Prescben nodded once and then gestured to his door. “I know you have class. Get out of here, I’ll be in touch,” he said.
“Thanks, Doctor Prescben,” I said. He nodded and we shook hands. I hurried out of his office and didn’t breathe until I got back to mine.
“That…your face doesn’t look so great,” Naomi noted. She stood up and closed the door behind me.
“I think I almost got us off the hook, then he asked if you were pregnant and…I just couldn’t say no,” I said.
“That’s okay, you did good,” Naomi said. She rubbed my back and then pulled me into a tight hug. I held her gently around the waist and kissed her neck.
“I told him that I just wanted to be able to hold your hand on campus and have lunch with you…” I muttered. “I probably sounded like such a sap,” I said.
Naomi giggled and she held me tighter. “Well the first step is out of the way. It’s above us now,” she said. I nodded and then pulled back to see her face. She looked tired but she didn’t seem as stressed as she was this morning.
“Yeah.” I kissed her, our lips barely brushed together and then the air seemed to fill with static. I pulled her hips against mine and kissed her neck. Naomi slid her hands against my chest and I kissed her again, my tongue caressed hers and I lowered my hands to squeeze her ass.
Naomi inhaled through her nose and broke the kiss. “Maybe we should get to class?” she suggested.
“It’s okay, I can afford to miss,” I said.
“But this so soon after Prescben? What if he knocks on the door?” she asked. I stepped to the door and locked it, then walked back to her and nibbled her neck. “You know, pregnant people are said to get really horny,” she said. “Soon I won’t be able to be the voice of reason,” she added. I rubbed my thumbs against her nipples which were already hard under her bra and shirt. I bit her neck again and she pushed on my chest. “Josh,” she said.
“Fine,” I said. I dropped my arms and stepped back from her. She looked at me like she was trying to figure out what was wrong.
“Come on,” she said. Naomi picked up her bag and gestured to my briefcase.
“Sorry,” I said as she unlocked the door and opened it.
“It’s okay…we just can’t do that here anymore,” she said.
“I know.” I held the door for her to walk through. I liked that she was comforting me, I liked that she was so much more open and emotionally accessible. It honestly turned me on. It made me want to have all of her and keep every bit to myself. Back there with Prescben, I wasn’t able to keep Naomi as my secret anymore. I didn’t want anything to change what I just got with her.
“Where are you going?” I asked. Naomi stepped in the opposite direction of our class room when we left the office floor.
“To the library, I’ll come in late,” she said. I nodded and we split ways. I had to school my features quick but I couldn’t shake the tension out of my face.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Naomi
I went to Josh’s class late, like I said, and found everyone in discussion groups. Jacob waved me over to his group and I took my usual seat next to him.
“How are you?” he asked.
“Good, stressed,” I said. I glanced up and spotted Josh talking to a group on the far side of the room, I didn’t think he’d noticed me walk in.
“He’s not staring at you, for once,” Jacob quipped. I rolled my eyes at him and shoved his shoulder.
“What are we talking about?” I asked and glanced at the only other guys in our class. They hadn’t picked up on Jacob’s comment, thankfully. Class whizzed by with only a half hour left. I stayed late a few minutes with Jacob to copy his notes. He stood in front of me like a wall, shielding me from Josh and I wasn’t sure if he was doing that on purpose or not. When we left the classroom, I chewed on my bottom lip and debated asking him if he liked me. I knew the answer but I had to let him know that I was taken. We walked to the library, to our usual table and sat down.
“Hey Jacob?” I asked.
“Yeah? Do you want a bagel? I might grab some from the café,” he said.
“Wait, sit,” I said. Jacob sat, he’d grown his blonde hair out and combed it out of his eyes with his fingers. “Sometimes I get the feeling that…you might…like me,” I said. There was no way I couldn’t sound awkward saying that.
Jacob blinked rapidly and he shrugged “I mean, yeah. I try to make it obvious,” he said. “You’re beautiful and smart and cool to hang out with.”
“Thank you, Jacob. Really, that’s…flattering but um,” I paused when his expression fell and I knew that he knew what I was going to say next.
“Of course, the good ones are always taken,” he sighed. Jacob stood up again but didn’t grab his things. “Did you want that bagel?”
I smiled at him both relieved and thrilled that our friendship didn’t just end. “Um, yeah, thanks,” I said. He bobbed his head in a nod and walked to the front of the library where the café was. I honestly didn’t expect that conversation to go as it had but I was glad that Jacob was a lot more mature than I gave him credit for.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, I took it out and read a text from Josh: Dinner at my house tonight? My sister will be there. I took a deep breath, my anxiety was creeping back into my chest.
I texted him back: Sounds good, what time? Josh sent me the details and I told him that I’d be there. After that, I tried really hard not to obsess about her liking me.
#
“V, I’m freaking out. I don’t know what to wear. How do you impress your
illicit affair’s sister?” I asked. V cracked up on the other end of the line. My closet was a mess, my bed even worse. There were clothes and shoes everywhere.
“He’s not your illicit affair anymore, remember? He’s your boyfriend, soon to be baby daddy. So own that and dress accordingly,” she said.
“That doesn’t help me, V!” I looked at the yellow blouse in my hand, scowled at it and tossed it on the pile of unworthy clothes. “I’m most likely going to meet his nephew too, he’s two or three or something,” I said.
“It’s dinner at his house, Naomi, relax. Wear jeans, wear tights, be comfortable and cute. That’s all,” V said.
“Tights and a light grey blouse?” I asked. I eyed a grey button down blouse on its hanger, it was long and made with sheer material that I could wear a tank top with. I had the perfect penny loafer shoes to go with it too. “Okay, perfect,” I said.
“Finally,” V said, chuckling.
“Okay, I’ll let you know how it goes, I don’t want to be late,” I said.
“Take a deep breath, dammit!” V said before I hung up. Quickly, I got dressed and put my hair in a bun. I knew nothing about little kids so kept the jewelry to a minimum just in case Josh’s nephew liked to grab stuff.
I didn’t take a deep breath until I stood on Josh’s stoop and rang the doorbell. Either I was late or his sister was early because there was a car that wasn’t Josh’s in the driveway in front of his garage.
I heard the door unlock and then the handled turned slowly and the door barely pulled open. Confused, I peered inside but didn’t see anyone behind the door until it suddenly swung wide and then a little curly, frizzy headed toddler stood in the doorway grinning at me with chubby cheeks.
“Hi,” he said. I was pretty sure that my heart melted because warmth spread through me and for the first time, ever, I was excited about the prospect of having one of these—a kid—soon.
“Hi, I’m Naomi,” I said.
“I Kaden,” he said and then reached up. I stepped inside and picked him up. The smell of steak and peppers filled the air. My stomach growled and Kaden started to laugh at me. I shut the door behind me.
“Kaden! What did I tell you about the door?” Amy, Josh’s gorgeous sister, yelled from the kitchen, her expression alarmed. She looked the same, maybe even better, than the last time I saw her from afar. I wondered what their parents looked like, seriously. “I’m sorry, he’s going through a front door phase,” Amy said.
“Oh that’s okay, he just melted my heart is all,” I said. She was sautéing peppers on the stove, Josh was nowhere to be seen. I put Kaden down and walked to the kitchen. Amy wiped her hands on a kitchen towel and then gave me a tight hug.
“He has that super power, yeah,” she said. Kaden ran around to us and handed me an action figure—further melting my heart—then ran back to the living room.
“It’s nice to meet you officially, Josh talks a lot about you guys,” I said. Amy smirked.
“Yeah, he’s one of those sappy family men,” she said with affectionate teasing in her tone.
“That’s one of the first things I learned about him,” I said, chuckling. “The food smells good by the way, what are you making?” I asked. I drifted towards the stove.
“Fajitas, I hope you’re good with spice,” she said. “It’s not too bad but I know some people can’t stand even a bit of flavor,” she added.
“I love spice,” I said and hung my purse on the back of a chair at the kitchen table. “How long have you lived in South Florida?” I asked. Amy pursed her lips as she thought back, she turned off the burner under the frying pan and moved it off of the heat.
“Like seven years, now,” she said.
“Have you tried a lot of local foods?” I asked.
“I’m hooked on Jamaican and Haitian food,” she said, “it’s a problem because of all the rice that I eat,” she chuckled.
“Beautiful,” I said, laughing, “I’ll eat two platters of jerk chicken any day, I love spice that much,” I said. Amy nodded, an approving smile on her lips.
“Sounds like my kinda girl,” she said. The little girl in me cheered for that small victory. Randomly, I wondered how old she was—she looked young—but she carried herself as if she was around Josh’s age.
“Naomi,” Josh emerged from his bedroom, looking surprised. “I thought you were going to call or something when you left your place,” he said. He walked over to me and kissed my cheek. I was acutely aware of Amy’s eyes on us.
“Was I supposed to? I must’ve forgotten, I was anxious to get here on time,” I said with a nervous chuckle. Josh smiled at me indulgently and made to take my hand. I realized that I still had Kaden’s action figure.
“Oh, Kaden gave this to me for safekeeping, I guess,” I said.
“No, he does this thing where he’ll lend out his toys so the next time he sees someone, he’ll want to be able to play with them,” Amy explained. “This kid is gonna be such a weirdo, I love him too much,” she said.
Josh and I both laughed. “It’s true, I have a bucket full of his toys here,” Josh said.
“I’m glad he’ll have a little cousin to play with,” Amy said. Josh grinned and looked at me as if he was unsure if I wanted to talk about the pregnancy so soon. But the truth was, Amy was his sister and his only family in the state. She’d be just as involved as my family in our baby’s life.
“Yeah, then he can trade with him or her,” I said. I put Kaden’s action figure in my purse for safekeeping.
“Josh, can you set up the dining table?” Amy asked. He nodded and then left us to set the table in the other room. “So…you know, I don’t want to get too personal but all I’ve gotten was Josh’s side of the story. How’d you guys get here, basically?” she asked.
“Basically?” I raised my brows, trying to figure out how I was going to summarize everything that went on with me and Josh. “We were attracted to each other but I tried to not be attracted to him just because everyone has a crush on Josh. I just want to get my classes over with…then, um…” I shrugged and smiled sheepishly. Amy smirked knowingly and grabbed serving plates out of a cabinet, I helped her transfer the food from the pots.
“It sounds cheesy to say but things just happened out of the blue and then we went with it. Josh wanted to be a lot closer than I wanted to be—than I thought we should be—and the more time we spent together the more I thought…there was no way we’d realistically have a future or continue any further than what we were,” I said. My voice was low because Amy and I both realized how quiet it had gotten in the dining room. Thankfully, Kaden got up and ran, yelling for his uncle, into the dining room. Kaden’s baby voice and Josh’s deep tone drifted into the kitchen.
“That’s when you guys broke up,” Amy murmured, her voice low too.
I nodded, “Yeah, I was also in denial for how I felt about him….” I paused, still unsure if I’d explored that denial enough or come to a conclusion about what I felt for Josh. Did I love him? I asked myself that over and over in my head but had to drown out that voice in order to keep talking. “Then I started throwing up,” I said and chuckled dryly.
“Ah yes, the wonderful first trimester,” Amy said, no doubt remembering her own pregnancy.
“Exactly,” I sighed. “It took me until my sister brought up pregnancy that I realized I hadn’t had my period since Josh and I started dating,” I said. “Then we talked, he freaked out for a couple of days, we talked again and now I feel like we just actually started our relationship, if that makes sense,” I said.
“No, it completely does. You just allowed yourself to be completely open with him. I’m glad,” she said. “He likes you a lot,” she added. I smiled, hearing that from her made me feel warm. It meant that maybe he talked about me to Amy as much as he talked about her to me, like I was an important part of his life. Amy and I put all of the food out on the dining table and we all sat down to eat. Kaden sat on Josh’s lap and took two strips of steak, one in each fist, an
d started chowing down.
“So, how bad is your morning sickness?” Amy asked. I took a tortilla and spread some sour cream and guacamole on it then added some peppers and steak.
“I’d say it’s at a solid five right now. I throw up at least once a day but it’s not too bad. It doesn’t knock me out unless I haven’t gotten enough sleep or something,” I said.
“Good, hopefully it stays that manageable. My morning sickness with Kaden was like a trickster. I would get nauseous then it would go away, come back, go away. Then all of a sudden I’d be projectile vomiting all over the place. It was the worst,” she said.
I winced just imagining that horror story. “Did you get any other bad symptoms?” I asked.
“Yeah, I had terrible vertigo in my third month, which was dangerous for obvious reasons. Thankfully that didn’t last too long,” she said. “Has anyone else in your family had babies before?” she asked curiously.
“No, well yes, my sister was pregnant once but she miscarried. She didn’t have any pregnancy symptoms though in her first weeks,” I said.
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Amy said. There was a short pause and then she glanced at Josh then at me, “Have you been to the doctor yet?” she asked.
“Monday, after classes is my first appointment,” I said. “My sister is sending me to her doctor who’s highly rated and also tightly booked so that was the soonest appointment,” I added. I took a bite of my fajita and nearly moaned at how good it tasted. I’d been underestimating how much I needed to eat or would actually want food and never ate enough. That fajita felt like mana from heaven as I chewed.
Josh noticed how much I was loving it and he laughed at me. “Amy’s a good cook, huh?” All I could do was nod.
“How much are you eating? I remember I couldn’t keep anything down so I basically ate cheese until my stomach wasn’t a geyser anymore,” Amy said.
“I have tea and like…bread in the morning and I can barely eat anything for lunch or dinner, everything smells disgusting to me,” I said, “Except for this,” I added.