He dumped the beans into the skillet and started stirring them around. Looking at the amount, he knew it wouldn’t be enough to feed the three of them so he grabbed the few remaining eggs that were on the shelf and cracked them into the pan, then stirred vigorously.
There was a full loaf of bread covered by a cloth. “At least she’s made bread.”
Michael set the table, still fuming and just before he set the skillet on the table, the door opened and Susan stepped inside, a big smile on her face until she met his eyes.
Her own eyes narrowed at the contents of the pan and Michael’s pride rose up. “Don’t complain. You weren’t here to do your job so I took over.”
Susan stepped back as if she’d been physically attacked. “My job?”
“Yes, your job. Aren’t you supposed to cook for us? Where were you? I should have been out there working on the shed logs with Jessie, and instead, I’m in here doing women’s work.”
“Are you serious?” Susan asked. “Women’s work?”
“Are you hard of hearing, woman?”
“No, I was just hoping I heard you wrong, because it sounds a little like the kind of man I purposely avoided all my life, and now I find I’m actually married to one.”
“What else would you be doing?” Michael asked. “I sent for a wife, and you answered the advertisement stating you were willing to take on the role of wife.”
“So let me get this straight,” Susan said, her voice lowering and the words coming slow and steady. “You don’t want a companion and a partner, you want a servant, a cook, and a housekeeper?”
“Of course I want those things. I work and bring in the money. It will buy the items we need to live. You do all the rest here at home to make sure our food goes far enough and that I have the strength I need to do my job.”
“You might want to stop talking,” Susan said. “Because you’ll get yourself in so deep you’ll never manage to dig your way out.”
“Now listen here,” Michael said, but Susan raised her hand and cut him off.
“No. You listen. I didn’t need to come here. I could have waited where I was for a few more years, then have my…” She shook her head then pointed a finger at him. “I came here for a chance at love. A chance to find a companion I could respect and honor. One who would help me reach my full potential, and one I could help succeed in his life. If I don’t feel loved or appreciated and I’m only here to feed you and clean for you, then I have no problem leaving right now.”
“You can’t leave,” Michael said. At first it was stated just as a factual matter, then as he thought about it, he realized he actually would be devastated if she left.
“Watch me,” Susan said, then turned on her heels and walked out the door.
***
Susan was to the edge of the property before Michael caught up with her. He grabbed her by the arm and Susan immediately took his wrist then twisted it in the move she’d been shown by one of her tutors.
“Don’t you ever touch me in anger,” Susan said. “I won’t stand for that.”
“I wasn’t going to hurt you.” The surprise in Michael’s eyes was evident. “I just needed to stop you.”
“Then use words,” Susan said.
“I did,” Michael said. “I called your name repeatedly.”
Susan glared at him. “I heard that, but there was nothing else with it.”
“What was I supposed to say?” Michael asked.
“Sorry, for starters.” Susan put her hands on her hips and glared at him.
“You want me to apologize for you getting angry at me?”
Susan shook her head. “If you need me to explain what you did wrong, then you’ve got a whole lot more to apologize for. I told you before we wed that I might be different than you expected. And the first time I’m not there for you the moment you wanted me to be, you get upset.”
Michael studied her for a moment. It was obvious he had no idea what to say. At least he had stopped talking for a moment. Eventually he spoke. “Can we return to the house? I am sorry I upset you. Maybe I was a bit sore you weren’t home, but there was a lot of talk going on about all these plans you have. I felt left out and I suppose I handled things wrong.”
“Talk about my plans? That’s what this is about?” Susan nearly threw her hands in the air but kept them to her side. “I was coming home to talk to you about it when you got all tiffy that I wasn’t home slaving over your meal. Besides, it wasn’t like I was all that late anyway. I could have easily still made dinner.”
Michael had the grace to look ashamed and the mix of emotions battling inside her was quieted by the look of remorse and his confused puppy dog eyes.
Of course he would think she was supposed to be home cooking for him. He grew up this way, expecting a woman to provide for his physical comforts while he provided the food and the money and shelter. She had grown up so differently and had never experienced what it was like to be expected to work for another person. Even if that person was her husband.
“I’m sorry,” Michael said. “Will you come back inside with me?”
“Yes,” Susan said. “As soon as dinner is done, you and I are going for a walk. I have some things that need saying and I don’t want anything to interrupt us.”
Michael nodded his agreement and Susan walked back to the house, leaving Michael to follow as he would. She heard him call for Jessie to put the axe away and to come inside to eat. When she reached the table and looked into the skillet, she figured it would do just fine. The fresh bread and the butter she had would help.
Michael didn’t say much when he entered the house, just sat at the head of the table, and reminded Jessie to wash up when he walked in. The meal went quickly and Jessie ate without complaint then asked to be excused.
“I wanted to see if I could get the last of the tree branches off,” Jessie added. “Then tomorrow we could set up the shed. If that’s all right.”
Michael smiled and Susan wondered if the boy was in a hurry to leave the room before an argument could arise, or if he just really wanted a place of his own and the sooner he built the shed, the sooner he could avoid sleeping in the house with them.
“Don’t forget to sharpen the axe again. Makes the work go a lot faster.”
Jessie nodded and ducked out of the house without another word. Susan stood from the table and took the dishes to the sink. She scrubbed the skillet then oiled it again and placed it on the shelf and turned around to find Michael watching her.
“I really am sorry, Susan.”
She met his eyes, searching them for truth, and realizing he was genuine in his apology she smiled softly. “Thank you.”
“I know it’s only been a few days, but I suppose I got so used to your cooking that when it came to me making something myself I was just angry with my own lack of cooking skills and I took it out on you.”
“You did a good job of dinner,” Susan said. “Maybe you should cook at least once a week. Make sure your skills don’t get too rusty.”
Michael’s eyes widened and Susan laughed, but at the same time wondered if he’d ever really be the kind of man who would view her as a valuable human, or if she’d always be just a wife who was supposed to work for her husband. She’d have to get all of this out in the open now, before things got too out of hand. Because even though she was upset with him before, and had threatened to leave, she knew that threat had been idle. She didn’t think she was in desperate love with him, but she knew she could very easily love him deeply.
“I have something really important to tell you,” Susan said. “It isn’t only about my plans you were talking about, but it will be a lot to take in. I think if we could go for a walk where no one might overhear, that would be best.”
“Do you want to walk?” Michael asked, “Or would you rather take the horse and wagon?”
“Maybe the wagon. Could we go back into the grove of cottonwoods?” She reached for his hand, wanting to remind herself of the connection she fel
t with him. To be sure that his touch still comforted her and made her want to be here with him. “I wanted to ask you about something nearby there as well.”
“I’ll just go hitch him up then.”
Susan kept hold of his hand. “I’d like to come see how it’s done. If that’s all right.”
Michael squeezed her hand and the two walked out together. That was a good sign.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Michael was surprised at Susan’s interest in readying the horse and wagon, but knew it would be important for her to know how to do it.
“I suppose I should have shown you this earlier,” Michael said as he hooked the harness to the horse. “I’m sorry. It will take a while to learn how to interact with a wife. Don’t have a lot of experience with women.”
Susan smiled and touched his shoulder. “I’m glad you’re willing to learn. I am also more than happy to know you aren’t all that familiar with women.”
Michael caught on to his wife’s comment and hoped the heat forming under his skin didn’t show up. He was almost certain she had no experience with men either, but at the same time, she was a lot different than he’d expected. When they’d kissed, he knew it wasn’t a new thing to her. Not with the way she seemed to know exactly what she was doing.
He finished hooking up the wagon, then helped Susan climb in.
“Would you like to drive?” Michael asked.
Susan looked at the reins, then to the horse and shook her head. “Not today. I would like to eventually though. I think maybe I should just watch this time.”
“You haven’t ridden in a wagon before?”
Susan took a slow breath then shook her head. “Not a wagon. The carriages in New York are different.”
“Do you miss it?” Michael asked. “New York?”
“Yes and no.” Susan looked at Michael. “I’m happier here than I was there. I miss my uncle, but nothing about the city or the people there, really.” She placed her hand on his leg sending him mixed signals. She was so comfortable touching him and he wondered again how familiar she was with men.
“I wanted to ask you something,” Michael began, then feared he wouldn’t get out of this unscathed. If she got so upset about his comment of her role at home, how would she react to this incredibly personal question?
“Go ahead,” Susan said.
Michael looked at her and Susan chuckled.
“I will keep my temper. I promise.”
“I’m not sure how. I don’t mean to be… That is, I was wondering if you had a…”
Susan tilted her head to the side and looked at him, but her face and manner seemed relaxed and open so Michael knew he needed to just ask the question and get it over with.
“Are you experienced with men?”
Susan’s hand left his leg and she clasped them together on her lap, but she didn’t react strongly in any other way. It seemed as if she was considering his question and his heart pounded in his ears at the silence from her. He reached for her hand with his own, wanting to show his acceptance of her and because he missed her touch.
“Depends on what you mean by experience,” Susan finally said. “I spent time with men. Not really courted for the purpose of marriage, but we went places together and enjoyed spending time together on occasion. If you’re asking if I’ve had any intimate relationships with a man, then no. You’ll be my first. If you still want me as your wife after what I need to tell you.”
Relief flooded through him at her admission of virtue, but was immediately tempered by her hint of some horrid revelation.
“What do you need to tell me?” Michael asked.
“About my past. My real past and how I ended up coming out here in the first place.”
“You mean my advertisement asking for a cook and cleaner wasn’t incentive enough?” Michael asked, trying to make light of the earlier mistake he’d made.
Susan laughed and put her other hand back on his leg, letting him know things would be fine between them. Whatever her past, whatever it was she needed to tell him, he’d be patient and understanding. Because even though she would be quite a handful and a bit difficult to manage at times, he knew he didn’t want to go through life with anyone else by his side.
***
Susan wasn’t sure how to tell him the truth. It was easy enough in her mind to tell him she had money. That her uncle had left her some, almost as much as her parents had. How would Michael take that information? He seemed to take pride in the fact that he had worked his way up from nothing and that he could provide for his family.
Would he insist she hand over her money to him? Would he never trust her again? Would he be upset and send her away?
He would never do that. She knew for certain that they were meant to be together. It had been less than a week she’d known him, but it was there, written all over her heart.
“What is it you need to tell me?” Michael asked.
“Well, first, I wanted to explain my plan for the boarding house and my reasons behind it. I’m from a place where my perspective on things is a little different. I know I was incredibly lucky — no lucky isn’t the right word — incredibly blessed to have answered your advertisement.” Susan turned to face him more and Michael looked at her for a moment before returning his attention to the horse and road.
“You see,” Susan said. “I know there are a lot of women who need a better life, and they do things in desperation that could prove to their benefit or their detriment. I want to make sure no woman is forced into danger. The west needs more women. It needs the civility that comes from families and homes. The men out here need options and the women need to know they have a choice as well.”
“Makes sense,” Michael said, encouraging her to go on.
“So I wanted to find out what the possibilities were. I asked around when the idea came to mind, and I know I probably should have come to you first and told you about it, but I got distracted. Then you got busy in the smithy, and I meant to, but then we had Jessie come stay with us and with all the preparations for a fence and a place for him to stay, things got pushed to the side.”
Michael nodded.
“And Jessie is another thing to think about. If there was a place where kids like Jessie could stay until their families figured things out, that would help a lot too.”
“But we took him in,” Michael said. “He’s cared for now.”
“I know,” Susan said, “and I have no problem with that. I know you were taken care of when you arrived here in Birch Creek. This land is amazing and the area is going to grow. Progress won’t be stopped, and before you know it, this place will be full of people. There is so much land out here that soon, cities will spring up. I wanted to make sure things were good for those who come alone.”
“How do you plan to go about this?” Michael asked.
“It’s still in the early stages,” Susan admitted. “I know there is so much to think about. That’s why I need someone to work out the details. Someone who knows the area, and the needs of Birch Creek better than I do.”
Michael nodded. “I’ll help where I can, but I don’t know how we’d ever be able to see your dream come to life. It takes money to do something like this. I don’t have enough to even begin to start looking for land.
“That brings me to the next thing I needed to tell you.”
“What is that?” Michael asked.
“I have money back in a bank in New York.”
Michael stared at her for a moment as if trying to understand what she had just said.
“Then why would you move out here to marry someone like me? I have nothing to offer you but hard work and a one room house without even a real kitchen or bedroom or anything that you must be used to. Where did the money come from?”
My parents left me some. I couldn’t access it until I was either married, or until I turned thirty years old,” Susan said. “My uncle also gave me an inheritance when he passed, but his stipulation was that I could not have it unless
I was married.”
“So you came out here to marry me only to get your inheritance?” Michael looked at her. “Do you plan to return back to New York once you have access to it?”
Susan took his hand. “No, of course not. I promised my uncle that I would look for someone in my life that could complete me. Someone that would be the support I would need to be the best person I could be. I also wanted to find someone that I could help as well. I came out with the hope of finding mutual respect and companionship. What I found instead was love.”
Michael’s face filled with tenderness as he leaned forward and kissed her softly. He looked into her eyes after a moment and said, “But you said you’d courted men back home. Surely someone like you could have found love there.”
“You’d be surprised,” Susan said. “None of the men I knew back home were ever interested me. Only in the money my parents left me.”
“So you came here?” Michael asked. “And married me the day we met. How was I different?”
Susan threaded her fingers through his and looked into his eyes. “Do you feel anything for me?”
“Of course.” Michael nodded.
“When I arrived and you first saw me, did you have any doubt or fear of being married to me?”
“Not a one.”
“It was the same for me,” Susan said. “I came here willing to find true love if it existed, though I doubted it was possible. So when we met and after those few words we shared, I was ready to commit to you.”
“How could you be so sure?” Michael asked. “What if I had turned out to be one of those men you seem so worried about other women being trapped with? After all, I did just get upset about making my own dinner.” He looked so embarrassed by that admission that Susan leaned against him and hugged his arm.
The Blacksmith's Bride: A Golden Valley Story (The Brides of Birch Creek Book 1) Page 9