Her dad hesitated, but only slightly. “Sure.” He paused. “Tell Cole I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I had a few things to do around the house this morning. Next time, okay?”
“Of course.” Ashley smiled. Her dad usually attended every game. Today, though, she was almost glad he wasn’t here. She couldn’t spend the hour talking about Christmas Eve and meeting the stranger with Erin’s heart. It was all too sad.
Cole’s team won the game and they drove home to play in the snow. Once the kids were outside, Ashley and Landon stood near the window. “I don’t have peace about it. I don’t think it’s good for Amy to meet this Kendra woman.”
“Honey.” He turned to face her. “You’re clearly uncomfortable with this.” Landon hugged her and searched her eyes. “So we skip the Christmas Eve dinner this year. We’ll still see each other the next day.”
Ashley looked long at her husband. She loved him so much. “Thank you. For understanding.”
“Always.” He shifted gears, grinned and motioned to the snow out front. “Let’s go show the kids how to build a real snowman.”
Ashley didn’t call her father back until later that night when the kids were in bed. “Like I said earlier, Dad. Landon and I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“Okay.” He was quicker to respond this time. “I understand. Really.” He paused. “If you change your mind, just let me know.”
His statement frustrated her. “Meaning . . . you hope we’ll still join you?”
“Sure. Yes, that’s what I’d like.”
“But Dad . . .” Ashley paced across her bedroom floor. “I just got done telling you we won’t be there.” Nothing about this was easy.
“Just pray about it, okay? Can you do that for me?”
Ashley was near tears by the time she hung up. Her dad had never raised his voice, but he seemed unwilling to accept her decision.
After the call she found Landon in the kitchen washing the counters. “I talked to my dad.”
He looked over his shoulder, his handsome face suddenly concerned. “He still wants us to be there?”
“Yes.” Did she look as weary as she felt? She waited while he dried his hands and the two of them took seats opposite each other at the kitchen table.
Landon searched her face. “Tell me, Ash.”
She nodded and her eyes found a spot on the table. “He wasn’t angry or anything. But he wants us there.” She looked up at him. “He asked us to pray about it.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Yeah.” Tears filled Ashley’s eyes. “I mean . . . of course we can pray. But think about how hard it would be.”
“We don’t have to be here.” Landon covered her hand with his. “You can stick to your decision.”
Ashley stood, paced to the sink, and turned again to face him. “Doesn’t my dad get it? We’re talking about Christmas!” She kept her voice low so she wouldn’t wake the kids. But her tone was strained all the same. “Okay, so the woman has Erin’s heart. She doesn’t believe in God and she needs hope and direction. Her marriage is in trouble.” Ashley walked from one side of the kitchen to the other. “I get all that. But why is that our job? Couldn’t we pray for her? Call a church in her area and try to get her connected?”
Landon shifted in his chair.
“I mean, there we’ll all be. Standing around making small talk with this . . . this stranger. And the whole time she’s only alive because Erin died. How are we supposed to have a beautiful Christmas Eve with all of that going on?”
“I hear you.” Landon didn’t look away, didn’t argue with her. “Your dad means well. I believe that.”
Ashley tossed her hands in the air and paced back to the sink. “That’s the hardest part. Of course he means well. He always means well. He loves everybody.”
A smile tugged at Landon’s lips. “No matter how far gone they are.”
The fight left Ashley and she felt her shoulders drop a bit. “Even me. Back in the day.”
Landon gave a light shrug. “Just saying.”
“Deep down you’re not really on his side, though, right?” Tears blurred her eyes again. “Landon, really? On Christmas Eve?”
“I’m on your side, baby.” He stood and came to her. “But I guess it’s possible . . . Christmas Eve could change the woman.”
A sigh slid from Ashley’s heart through her lips. “That’s what my dad says.” She came to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. “I just can’t imagine it. Like what if I can’t stop crying?” She pressed her head against his chest. “And what about Amy? How is she supposed to deal with that? Her mother’s heart beating in the chest of a stranger? Right there in the middle of our Christmas celebration?”
“I get that.” He eased back and looked into her eyes. “Maybe we should—” He seemed to notice something as he looked toward the doorway. “Amy. Honey, why are you out of bed?”
“You’re talking loud.” She wore a red flannel nightgown and rubbed her eyes, the light from the kitchen clearly too bright for her.
“Oh, honey.” Ashley felt a rush of remorse. “I’m so sorry.” She shared a quick glance with Landon. “Come on. I’ll walk you back to your room. Me and Uncle Landon will be quieter. I promise.”
Fifteen minutes later she returned to the kitchen. Landon was cleaning again, this time drying the stovetop. He set the towel down and turned to Ashley. “Think she heard us?”
“I asked her.” Ashley put her face in her hands for a few seconds and then looked at Landon again. “She said no.”
“She must’ve heard some of it.”
“I think so.” Ashley took his hands. “I thought about talking to her, asking her about it, but even that could be devastating.”
“True.”
Ashley saw the compassion in Landon’s eyes. He loved all their children so much. And he treated Amy like one of his own. Ashley kept her voice low. “She’s had to live with so much loss.”
“Just like you.” Landon pulled her gently into his arms. “Like all of us.”
She searched his eyes. “But you don’t think anything good could come from meeting with the woman, do you? For Amy?” She paused. “We’re the ones raising her. We should know what’s best for her, don’t you think?”
“I’m not sure.” His words came slowly, his eyes shining with love for her. “Could there be some comfort in it? Knowing that her mother’s heart saved the life of someone else?”
The idea hadn’t really occurred to Ashley. She let her forehead lean against his. “I can’t see that happening. It would be so sad.”
“Well . . .” Landon eased back so he could see her again. “We don’t have to decide now. Christmas is still a month away.”
Ashley nodded. She looked deep into his eyes, all the way to his beautiful heart. “Thank you. For listening to me.”
“It’s a lot.” He brushed his thumb along her cheek. “Wanna pray?”
Her vision blurred with tears. She felt weary, afraid. “Yes. Please.” She closed her eyes, but her fear and frustration only increased. The last few years had brought a gradual healing after the loss of Erin. Meeting Kendra would take her back to that terrible day in the emergency room, the day they found out about the accident.
Landon prayed out loud, asking God to give them wisdom and clarity about the possible meeting. He also asked that Ashley might have peace, whatever they decided, and that her father might think hard about the situation. When he was done praying, Landon ran his hands over her dark, shoulder-length hair. “Has anyone ever told you?” He grinned.
The heaviness in her soul lifted. She knew what was coming.
Landon raised his brow, his eyes sparkling. “You have the most beautiful hair.”
She giggled. “Thank you, sir.”
He moved in closer and kissed her. The sort of kiss that still took her breath away. “Now . . . how about we get some sleep?” He kissed her again. “God will make the answers clear.”
“Mmm.” Ashley kissed him th
is time. “You’re a good kisser.”
“You, too.” Landon took her by the hand and led her toward the stairs and their bedroom on the second floor.
Ashley would be thankful every day for Landon Blake. The man he’d always been. It was hard to believe she had almost walked away from him all those years ago. Back when she was angry at God and not sure of her place in her family.
As she climbed the stairs, Ashley remembered it all again.
She was the third daughter of John and Elizabeth Baxter. One of six kids, all grown up now. All married with kids. Her parents had seen her through those difficult years. When she’d come home from Paris alone and pregnant and rebellious.
But it was Landon Blake who had given his life for her and Cole. He loved Ashley’s son like the boy was his own. Ashley’s mother grew sick with cancer, but she lived long enough to see Ashley and Landon marry. They’d had three kids since then. One who only lived a few days before joining her grandmother in heaven.
Then came the car accident. Ashley’s dear youngest sister, Erin, and her husband, Sam Hogan, and three of their daughters all killed that terrible day. Only their daughter Amy had lived. Raising her now was something else Landon took on as easily as he breathed.
That was the kind of man Landon was.
They reached their bedroom door. It was a miracle any of her family had made it through the heartache of that time. Erin’s organs had gone to several recipients. And her heart had gone to Kendra Bryant. An atheist.
The woman her father had invited to join them for Christmas Eve dinner.
“Hey.” Landon turned and put his arms around her neck. “You’re thinking about it again.”
She smiled. “How come you know me so well?”
“Because.” He kissed her. “When you’re sad . . . my heart hurts.” He smiled. “It’s always been that way.”
“I love you.” Ashley rested her head on his chest. She didn’t know what she had done to deserve a man like Landon Blake. But she knew this much. No family could be expected to meet a woman whose heart once belonged to one of their own. Especially on Christmas Eve.
Not even the Baxter family.
Amy Hogan couldn’t sleep. She lay in bed in her dark room and stared at the moon just outside her window. You’re here, God. I know it. Right beside me. She waited a minute in case God wanted to say something. But Amy didn’t hear any actual words.
Okay, God . . . so I heard everything they said. Now what am I supposed to do about it?
She rolled onto her side and tucked her hand under her pillow. Aunt Ashley didn’t want to meet the woman. She thought it would be too sad.
But it was all Amy could think about.
What kind of a person was this stranger? What did she look like? Aunt Ashley said the woman was only alive because Amy’s mommy died. You must have really special plans for her, right, God? Because she got to live and my mommy didn’t.
Tears came. Amy couldn’t stop them.
She didn’t talk about her mom that much anymore. She loved Aunt Ashley and Uncle Landon. She felt like part of the family here. But every night before she fell asleep she did the same thing. She looked out the window, up toward heaven, and asked God to do something for her.
Tonight, though, she wasn’t ready to do that yet.
Her thoughts were so loud she didn’t want to sleep. What would it be like? Would the woman look like her mommy? Would she sound like her? Since she had her mommy’s heart?
Amy wiped her tears with the sleeve of her nightgown.
Then a picture came to her mind of what it might be like.
It would be Christmas Eve and the woman would walk into the house. She would look like her mommy and sound like her. And Amy would run up and hug her and put her head against the woman and then . . . for the first time in such a long time, Amy would hear her mother’s heartbeat. The way she used to hear it when her mommy would hug her and read to her and sing with her.
That would be really nice. Amy thought about that for a long time and her tears stopped. She rolled onto her back again and closed her eyes.
It’s time, God. Like every night. Can you please tell my mommy and daddy and sisters that I love them. And I miss them. Amy waited. One more thing, God. Please can you ask my mommy if I should meet this woman who has her heart? Okay. That’s all. Thank you, God.
With that, Amy yawned and a few minutes later she fell asleep.
But this time her dreams weren’t about school or her cousins or her aunt and uncle. They were about a woman she had never met. A woman who looked and sounded like her mommy. And whose hug made Amy feel—if just for a little while—that her mommy was right here with her again.
CHAPTER TWO
Connor Flanigan loved attending Liberty University, but he had been looking forward to Thanksgiving break for a month. His sister, Bailey, had asked him to be a director for the Christian Kids Theater Christmas production.
He pulled into the parking lot in the heart of downtown Bloomington and looked at the clock on his dashboard. Five minutes early. He could hardly wait to start.
Three years had passed since Connor had been in a CKT play, but he’d never been part of the directing team. This time around the production was A Charlie Brown Christmas, and though it was a musical, the show was only an hour long. Which meant the rehearsal process would be quicker than for a full-length production. Auditions now and rehearsals in early December, when Connor came home for Christmas break.
The kids would perform just one show—the Sunday before Christmas.
Easy enough, Connor thought. He would work with Bailey and her husband, Brandon, and a few others. Being away at school made him miss Bailey and Brandon. This time together would be the perfect Thanksgiving break.
Snow was falling, so Connor slipped into his heavy parka, shut the car door behind him and locked it. The air was so much colder here than in Lynchburg, Virginia, where Liberty was located. He buried his hands in his jeans pockets and walked across the street to the theater.
Auditions would be a blast. Growing up, he and Bailey were in a couple shows a year with CKT and they always looked forward to audition day. If things were the same as they were back then, the bond of camaraderie between the cast and crew and directing team would start today.
With the very first audition.
He spotted his sister as soon as he walked through the double doors. How crazy that they were this old now. Bailey, twenty-two, and married for two years. She and Brandon owned the theater and the retail space around it. They had brought in tenants with a heart for missions and outreach. High-end tenants who had improved every retail space surrounding the theater. There was a thriving bookstore with leather chairs and a bakery and seating area at the back. A few doors down was a coffee shop where all the profits went to build wells for people in Africa.
Talk around town was that their work here had changed the very heart of Bloomington for the better. Owners of other commercial buildings had made improvements to their storefronts. They’d painted and added vintage brick and signage, and nearly all of them had planted trees and flowers that bloomed in the spring and summer. Downtown had a spirit of unity and kindness now that hadn’t been here before.
Connor smiled as Bailey ran toward him. “Look at this place! It’s beautiful.”
“Thanks!” Bailey hugged him and stepped back. “It’s only been a few months, but you look older.” She grinned at him. “How’s Liberty?”
“I love it.”
“And your classes?” Her eyes were bright. “You’re probably getting straight A’s like high school.”
“Not quite.” He laughed. “But the classes are great. The professors really care.”
She grinned. “I knew you’d do great there.” She raised an eyebrow. “No girlfriend?”
“Not yet.” He smiled. Bailey always asked about the girls in his life. They were still close like that. He linked arms with her and they headed for the judges’ table, just in front of the stage wh
ere the kids would audition. “I switched from communications to film. Did I tell you?”
“No!” She stopped and faced him. “That’s perfect. You’d be a great filmmaker!”
“I’d like to try. I’ve prayed a lot about it.”
“Which reminds me, I talked to Andi Ellison the other day. She and Cody Coleman are back together. It’s getting more serious.”
Connor hesitated. He searched his sister’s eyes. “Which is good, right?”
“Definitely.” Bailey smiled. A long time ago she and Cody had been together. But they’d been friends first, and the friendship remained. The fact that Cody was once again dating Bailey’s college roommate Andi was something Bailey seemed truly happy about. “Anyway, Andi’s dad is still making Christian movies. When you get your degree, you’ll have to talk to him.”
“Definitely.”
Connor was going to ask her how she and Brandon were doing when someone caught his eye. A girl just taking her seat at the judges’ table. Connor hesitated and lowered his voice. “Who’s that?”
Bailey turned and followed his gaze. “Her? That’s Maddie West.”
Connor stopped, his eyes still on the girl. She had beautiful blond hair and the body and mannerisms of a dancer. “Maddie West? Do we know her?” He glanced at Bailey for a moment and then back at the girl. “She looks familiar.”
“I thought that, too.” Bailey shook her head. “I don’t think so. Her last name isn’t familiar. And she never did CKT. She dances at the studio across town.”
“I’m sure she does.” Connor caught Bailey’s raised brow. “What?”
“She’s a senior in high school. She’s my intern.” She elbowed him lightly in the ribs. “A little young.”
“Yeah.” He grinned. “Maybe.”
Bailey’s phone buzzed and she checked it. “Brandon needs me backstage. Our pianist called in sick. We’re scrambling to find someone else. Auditions start in an hour!” She headed toward a side door. “I’ll meet you and Maddie at the table in a few minutes. I’ll explain the audition process then.”
A Baxter Family Christmas Page 2