by Tripp Ellis
I thought about it for a moment. "I don't think you should be showing your grandkids films where you are topless."
She huffed. "You know what I mean. It's a figure of speech. Besides, when I'm 80, my grandkids will probably be in their 30s"
“Don't start too soon. That would give Jack a heart attack."
"Not funny."
"Sorry." In light of recent events it was a bad turn of a phrase.
"So, say congratulations."
"Congratulations! I really am excited for you. I'm not really excited about all the drama the topless thing is going to create. But I'm really excited for you."
"You have to promise you're not going to tell Jack," she pleaded.
"I promise. But you realize that he will eventually see the movie. He will eventually find out."
"I realize that. Hopefully, by that time, I'll be well on my way to becoming a star. It takes like a year or two for these movies to actually come out."
"I'm going to leave this up to your best judgment. But please, just do me a favor and give him a heads up before he sees naked pictures of you on the Internet."
"I will give him a heads up when the time is right," she said.
There was a long awkward silence.
"This isn’t a porno, is it?" I asked, hesitantly.
"No!" She shouted. "Please. I'm not doing a porno. Not that there's anything wrong with people who want to express their sexuality in that way. I'm just not fucking guys for money on camera."
"Good to know."
“Now, off camera is a different story.”
My eyes widened. “What?”
“I’m kidding. Totally kidding. Ease up.”
There was never a dull moment with Scarlett.
“Do not joke like that with Jack,” I said.
“I’m just messing with you. You’re so fun to tease.”
"Well, keep up the good work, have fun, and stay out of trouble."
"Maybe just a little bit of trouble."
I rolled my eyes.
"Bye, Tyson," she sang before hanging up.
I facepalmed and exhaled. JD was going to have a conniption fit.
35
“Did you forget?” JD asked.
It was the first thing out of his mouth when he called.
“Forget what?“
“I’m guessing that jungle rot affected your brain. What the hell took you so long down there?“
I filled him in on the details. He seemed unimpressed by my trials and tribulations, and was more interested in hearing about Frankie.
“I’m guessing you forgot about the opening pageant gala tonight?”
“Totally slipped my mind. I’ve been a little busy.”
“I didn’t think you would be gone for so long,“ JD said.
“Neither did I.“
“You do remember we are judging the pageant?“
“How could I forget?“
“We will be the guests of honor at tonight’s event. I’m talking 34 gorgeous contestants from around Coconut Key. Free drinks. Hors d’oeuvres. What’s not to like?“
“What time does this little soirée start?“
“7:30 PM at the Seven Seas. I’ll pick you up around 7 PM. Wear something nice.“
Jack was the king of casual. Him telling me to wear something nice was a little ridiculous.
“I’ll be sure to dress to impress,“ I said. I fully expected to see Jack wearing a pair of cargo shorts with a suit jacket. "How’s Buddy? Did he behave for you?"
“He has been a perfect houseguest. But Fluffy thinks she owns the place. She gives me attitude, turns her nose up at the food I serve her, and does whatever the hell she damn well pleases. Not all that different than having a teenage daughter."
I didn't have the heart to tell Jack about Scarlett's new role. I'd let the two of them work that out.
“Remind me to tell you about this cute little blonde I met,” JD said.
"What happened to Sasha and Tasha?"
"They're still around. I'm just exploring other options."
"By the way, you left this place a wreck," I said.
"I've been meaning to get back over there and clean up."
"Feel free at any time," I said, annoyed.
"Yeah, that needs to happen, because we have a charter tomorrow."
"Really?"
“Simple stuff. Some divers want to check out the reefs and go on photo safaris."
"What time?"
"10 AM. They didn't want to get up at the ass crack of dawn."
"Alright, I'll see you in a bit."
I hung up the phone and proceeded to clean up the boat. I didn't feel like waiting around for JD to do it. Knowing him, he’d show up at the last minute before the gala and make some excuse. Then I'd be stuck cleaning up at midnight.
He had the attention span of a child.
I took a brief nap in the afternoon, then got up and prepared for the evening. I put on a nice dark grey suit and silk tie. I looked at myself in the mirror and adjusted my neckwear and matching pocket square. I was a far cry from the sweaty, muddy guy who was in the Colombian jungle just the day before.
I looked over Samantha Baxter's file while I waited for Jack to arrive. At the first opportunity, I planned to check the evidence room and see what was left. Maybe we could scrape DNA from the cigarette butt that was left at the scene of the crime? I'm not sure how much that would tell us. It could have been anybody's?
A little before 7 PM, I heard the flat six of JD’s Porsche pull into the parking lot, and JD rang my phone.
"Get your ass out here!” he barked.
I left the boat and strolled down the dock to the lizard green speedster. I climbed into the passenger seat, and to my absolute shock, Jack was wearing a nice Acardi Couture suit, complete with pants, leather shoes, dress shirt, and tie. His hair was pulled back in a tight ponytail, and his dark sunglasses covered his eyes. I'd never seen Jack so put together. Then again, we were heading to an event with 34 beautiful, single women.
It seemed he wanted to make an impression.
The gala was held in the ballroom of the Seven Seas. The DJ spun tunes and colored spotlights slashed the air. It was reminiscent of a makeshift nightclub. There was a small stage area with a podium illuminated by spotlights. Gorgeous girls sauntered around wearing skimpy cocktail dresses and spike-heeled shoes. Their skin looked flawless, painted with thick coats of airbrushed makeup. Noses were contoured, as well as jawlines and cheekbones. There were long, fake lashes, and smokey eyeshadow. Pristine French manicures.
These girls had more curves than a race track. Each of them had salon-styled hair, thick with hairspray. Nothing was out of place. They looked like living, breathing Barbie dolls.
Jack was in paradise.
He looked at me and said with absolute conviction, "There is a God."
36
Pop music thumped, and contestants mixed and mingled with sponsors, pageant consultants, friends, and family.
JD grabbed two complementary whiskeys from the bar and handed one to me. He toasted, “To good times."
We clinked glasses and sipped the amber liquid.
JD couldn't stop grinning. His eyes darted about, taking in all the magnificent views.
A tall, leggy blonde sauntered by. She wore a strapless black dress, and diamonds shimmered around her neck. They drew the eye to her luscious valley of cleavage that was propped up by reinforcements within the dress.
"Nice necklace," Jack said as she passed.
"Fuck off, creep!” she muttered without slowing down.
I stifled a chuckle.
Jack made a sour face. “Well, that wasn’t nice, was it?”
“It’s probably for the best. These girls are off limits. Ethical line, remember?”
Jack grinned. “There’s no reason we can’t date a contestant after the pageant is over.”
I rolled my eyes.
“It’s a small island. No sense in limiting our dating pool.”
We sipped our drinks, and the pageant director, Crystal Conners, greeted us with a wide smile. She was a tall blonde with straight hair, blue eyes, plump lips, and perfect posture. "I'm so glad you both could make it!”
Jack introduced us.
"It's nice to meet you," Crystal said.
"The pleasure is mine," I replied.
"Thank you both so much for donating your time and your services. We've got you scheduled next week to take headshots for the girls. The shots will be featured in the pageant brochure and in the marketing materials. We’ll do shots of the winners after the pageant.”
“Might I suggest a bikini calendar,” JD said.
“Food for thought,” Crystal replied. “I’ll go over our judging criteria with you and what exactly we’re looking for. I'll make an announcement shortly and bring you both on stage."
"Sounds great," JD said. "Looking forward to it."
"Thank you both again."
Crystal weaved through the crowd, mingling with other contestants before taking the stage.
My eyes wandered about the crowd, and much to my surprise, I saw Denise.
She looked breathtaking.
Her ruby red hair spiraled down past her shoulders like a river of flowing lava. Her porcelain skin contrasted the skimpy black cocktail dress that hugged her enticing curves. The hemline hung just below the promised land, and her long legs were on full display. Black, strappy heels wrapped around her ankles.
In a room full of beauties, Denise stood out. And that was no easy task among this crowd.
She could make the polyester county sheriff’s uniform look good. But dressed like this, she was in a league of her own.
I nudged JD and pointed.
“Holy shit! What the hell is she doing here? She can’t be…?”
We strolled across the room and pulled up beside her. Her eyes brightened. “You’re back! What are you doing here?”
“We were about to ask you the same thing,” JD said.
“Don’t laugh,” she said, pleading for mercy with her eyes. “I entered the beauty pageant.”
It hung there for a moment.
She cringed, waiting for the hazing to begin.
Jack and I were both speechless.
“I know, I’m not nearly as pretty as all these other girls,” she said. “They’re all tall, and gorgeous, and perfect. But I just thought, you know, why not? It might be fun.”
JD and I exchanged a glance, then I looked back to Denise. “These girls don’t hold a candle to you.”
The tension in her face faded. “Aw, you’re so sweet.”
“Just being honest,” I said.
Denise’s face crinkled with confusion. “What are you two doing here?”
“We are judges,” I said.
Jack muttered in my ear, “So much for impartiality.”
Denise’s eyes widened. “Are you serious?”
I nodded.
“That’s a problem,” Denise said. “Conflict of interest.”
“There’s no conflict of interest,” I assured. “I can be objective.”
Denise flashed me a doubtful look.
“Don’t get too cocky there,” I said. “I mean, you’re hot, but…”
She scowled at me playfully then huffed. “Guys! Why didn’t you tell me before I signed up?”
“We didn’t know you were going to sign up,” Jack said.
The spotlights beamed on Crystal as she took the stage and stood behind the podium. The microphone hummed with feedback when she first turned it on. It faded away after a moment. "Good evening, I am your pageant director, Crystal Connors. Welcome to the spectacular Miss Coconut Key Pageant!"
The hall erupted with claps and cheers.
"We have a wonderful group of contestants, and I am so excited for you each to showcase your talent. I know this is going to be an amazing experience for all of us. I’d also like to thank our gracious sponsor, Coconut Cream Sunscreen, the ultimate in skincare protection.” She paused for applause. “I’d like to bring up to the stage two of our competition judges, Jack Donovan and Tyson Wild!"
There were more cheers.
Crystal shielded her eyes from the spotlight and looked over the crowd, searching for us. "Guys, come on up!"
“We’ll talk more about this later,” I said to Denise. “Were you able to find out anything about the Samantha Baxter case?”
“Oh yeah,” Denise said. “I’m on it. Found out a few interesting details. If you’re lucky, I might tell you.”
We made our way toward the stage, weaving through the sea of gorgeous hotties.
"Tyson and JD have graciously offered their photography services,” Crystal continued. “They are the official photographers of the pageant, as well as Coconut Cream Sunscreen and many other top brands, and I urge you all to consider them when selecting a photographer for your own private needs."
Crystal put on the hard sell.
JD pranced to the podium like a peacock strutting his feathers. He leaned into the microphone. "Thank you, Crystal. It is an honor and a privilege to be here. And we look forward to a wonderful and exciting pageant. Good luck to each and every one of you!”
There were more cheers and applause.
Jack handled himself surprisingly well. He almost sounded professional.
I didn't feel the need to say anything. I waved to the crowd and left the stage with Jack.
Crystal returned to the mic and continued going over pageant information and upcoming events and deadlines.
We weaved through the crowd, making our way back to the bar, and got another drink.
“Here she comes,” JD said, spotting Denise sauntering toward us. “How are you going to handle this one?”
“I can totally be fair,” I said. “Besides, I’m not that into her anymore. We’ve come to a mutual agreement. Just friends.”
Jack rolled his eyes. He knew I was full of shit. “Please. I bet if she slipped out of that dress you’d put that whole professional thing aside real quick.”
I sneered at him. “I’m totally immune to her. She has no effect on me anymore.”
We smiled and pretended like we weren’t just talking about her when she arrived.
“I still can’t believe you two are judging the contest?” Denise said. “Do you have any qualifications for this?”
Jack smiled. “Years and years of studying female beauty.”
She sneered at him. “Are you sure this isn’t going to be a problem? I want this competition to be totally fair. I don’t want anybody making accusations. Should I just drop out?”
“No. Do not drop out!” I said. “I can guarantee that we will not give you any preferential consideration.”
“Promise?”
“Promise,” I said.
“And if you get mad at me, you can’t let that negatively affect your judging.”
I raised my hands, innocently. “Why would I get mad at you?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“Trust me. This is not a big deal.”
“Should we tell Crystal that we have a relationship? I mean, that we are coworkers.”
“She knows that we are all deputies with the Sheriff’s Department,” I said. “She can put two and two together.”
Denise’s face twisted with concern. “I don’t know. I may just talk to her, anyway.”
“Why stir shit?” JD asked.
“It’s going to come out sooner or later,” Denise said. “I mean, what happens if I win? Someone is going to say you played favorites?”
The rude blonde with the diamond necklace approached Jack. She had a worried look on her face. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to offend you earlier. I didn't know you were a judge. Please forgive me?”
Jack forced a hollow smile. "Don't worry. I won't hold it against you."
She exhaled a relieved breath. "Oh, thank God. I was so wor
ried. I'm not usually that much of a bitch."
"It's too bad that's not an official competition category,” Jack said.
She didn't quite know what to make of Jack, or his sarcasm. She forced a polite chuckle. “Well, if there’s anything I can do to make it up to you, anything at all…” her eyes sparkled with a seductive glimmer, “just let me know.”
“Will do,” Jack said.
She smiled and made a graceful exit.
"Well, scratch her off the list," Jack muttered.
“See,” I said to Denise. “This is the kind of competition you’re up against.”
“Exactly,” Denise said. “They are catty and vindictive.”
I shrugged, then said to Jack, “What was it you were saying about being impartial?”
"I am impartial. She was just exceedingly rude to me before she knew I was a judge. I should at least be able to deduct a few points for that."
“She apologized.”
“And I accepted her apology. I’d accept a little more, but I have ethics, remember?”
I scoffed.
Denise just shook her head. “What were they thinking making you guys judges?”
“Don’t get upset just because you have to be nice to us now,” JD said.
She scowled at him. “Well, at least I know I’m not going to sleep with either one of you to get a crown. That’s more than I can say for some of these girls.”
It was easy to see Denise was getting a little flustered.
“Relax,” I said. “Don’t take it too seriously.”
She took a breath. “You’re right. This is just for fun. I’ll talk to Crystal later and let her know about our existing professional relationship. It will just make me feel better if I’m transparent about that. If I get disqualified, I get disqualified.”
“Do whatever makes you feel good,” JD said with a grin. “That’s my motto.”
“And look where that’s gotten JD,” I added.
Denise sighed. “Alright. Well, I guess I should leave you two alone so it doesn’t look like I’m trying to bribe you in some way.”
“You were going to tell me about the Samantha Baxter case?”
“Oh, yeah. Looks like the bartender still lives here in town. I’ll give you the address when I get back to my desk. As far as the evidence, it’s pretty slim. There’s a pair of shoes, and a cigarette butt.”