by Sarah Olson
"I’ll try," Ethelyn relented.
When she finished with my hair, I helped her gather our belongings as quickly as possible without trying to seem desperate to leave the room. As soon as she picked up our packed bags, I nearly bolted through the door and into the cavernous main room.
There was a large fire burning in the center, and Geir’s family was sitting around it, eating breakfast. I scanned the room until I found Roy sitting on the other side of the fire. His ocean eyes met mine and he smiled. My heart pounded a little faster, and it took all my nerve not to seem in a rush to get over to him.
Geir and Helka greeted me as one of their daughters handed me a roll of bread and a mug of fresh milk. I thanked them and made my way to sit beside Roy—not too close to raise suspicion, but close enough that when I sat, he brushed his hand over mine and then went back to eating. I looked around, hoping no one had noticed, and to my relief, everyone continued eating and talking amongst themselves.
"I couldn’t sleep," I admitted, after chewing and swallowing a piece of the roll. I kept my eyes on the dancing flames.
"Me neither," Roy said, quietly. He leaned in slightly and whispered, "I can’t stop thinking about you."
My hands trembled, and I picked up the mug of fresh milk, hoping to still them.
Ethelyn came over and sat beside me, oblivious to my fraying nerves. Roy said nothing else.
When we finished eating, we said our goodbyes to Helka and her children before following Geir out to the wagon. Roy sat in front, talking to Geir in the native tongue the entire ride, while I sat in the back with Ethelyn and Stephen who chatted incessantly.
"Is something wrong, Norah?" Stephen asked as I had remained silent for most of the ride to the village.
I shook my head and smiled. "No, I’m fine. Just tired is all."
Stephen nodded and went back into whatever story he was in the middle of telling—I hadn’t heard most of it. My mind was solely on Roy.
The docks were full of life when we reached them. Captain Matek was in the midst of giving orders to a dockworker when we pulled up. He smiled at us and then pointed at something and sent the dockworker off.
"I had wondered where the four of you were when you didn’t come to the inn last night," Captain Matek said.
"We spent the night at Geir’s farm," Roy told him.
"Ah," the captain said. "Did you get to see the night lights, Norah?"
"I thought it was too cloudy," Ethelyn said.
"It cleared up late in the evening, but I’m assuming that’s a no."
I shook my head. "I was already in bed then." I could have sworn Roy smirked.
"Pity," Captain Matek said, shaking his head. "They were quite something last night. Well, you better get on the boat and head back to the ship. Everyone else already is and preparing to head back out to sea."
"Of course," I said.
We followed Stephen to the waiting longboat when Ethelyn said, "I’m sorry you didn’t get to see the lights. I know you wanted to. I suppose you had to have slept at some point though for I would think those lights would’ve been very noticeable through the bedroom window."
I couldn’t tell if she was suspicious and fishing for something so I simply shrugged. "I suppose so."
It felt surprisingly good to return to the Enigma and relax in the confines of my and Ethelyn’s room. Bruhier had excused me from helping with lunch as he had an early start and finished without me.
Ethelyn was off with Stephen, so I had taken the time to nap and now sat alone on the bed, gazing out the window. The Boreal Islands had disappeared over the horizon, and we were now on our way to the Lemhla Islands where we would trade for spices, among other things. Stephen had told me they were very similar to the Boreal Islands and only couple of days away.
When I presumed lunch was well over, I changed into one of Kara’s dresses and headed to the dining hall. I heard some voices inside as I opened the door. Apart from Seif and Roy, the room was empty. I skidded to a halt when I noticed Roy was not wearing a shirt and that instead, it was balled up in his fist. His brown skin was smooth and tight across the muscles of his chest and a tattoo of a serpent wrapped around the upper part of his right arm. I marveled at the way the muscles of his arms moved as he furiously lifted the balled up shirt to Seif.
Seif was laughing.
"I could kill him," Roy growled.
"Just relax," Seif said, stifling another laugh. "He’s only trying to provoke you."
I realized they hadn’t noticed my entry, giving me a chance to regain my composure before making my presence known. Satisfied, I closed the door behind me loud enough for them to hear.
"Norah," Seif said, still fighting his laughter.
"Seif, Roy," I said in greeting.
When Roy’s eyes met mine, I felt my composure fail and my cheeks became hot.
"What happened?" I asked, not wanting to walk closer.
"Hashim accidently spilled his stew on Roy," Seif said.
"Yeah, accidently," Roy said, sarcasm dripping from his words.
I took a step towards them. "Did it burn you?" I asked, the worry in my tone far more evident than I would’ve liked.
He shook his head. "It was hot, though."
"You could always make him wash it," Seif pointed out.
"No, as you said, it’ll only fuel the fire," Roy replied, much calmer now. "He was just trying to provoke me."
"Whatever you say," Seif said, walking towards me. "I’ll make sure he doesn’t get very easy jobs for the rest of the day. Maybe I’ll even have him put in the crow’s nest during tonight’s shift."
"That will please him greatly," Roy said, a glint of amusement in his eyes.
Seif laughed and left the room.
"Why was Hashim bothering you?" I asked, finding it tough to keep my eyes from wandering across his muscular chest. I had always found Thomas handsome, but Roy most definitely trumped him in that category.
"No reason other than he doesn’t like me," Roy replied, giving me a small smile. "Why are you so red?" he asked with a laugh.
I instinctively brought my hands to my cheeks. "Am I?"
He took a step forward. "Do I make you that nervous?"
I looked away. "It would help if you were fully clothed," I said before I could stop myself.
"Well then, I suppose that would be the answer I needed to whether you find me handsome or not."
I gaped at him. He had the brazenness of an impudent lord at court. Not that he was full of himself, but when he spoke his mind, it was as if he held no regard for what anyone might think of him.
Roy winked at me and walked to the door. "I’ll see you at dinner."
Chapter 19
W HEN IT CAME TIME for dinner in the captain’s cabin, I almost feigned another headache, but a stronger—and probably more foolish part of me—wanted to see Roy. I also didn’t want Ethelyn suspecting anything. As a princess, I had learned to hide my emotions or pretend something or someone delighted me when I was in my parents’ court. It was always better to hide your displeasure or boredom. My mother did it well—my father, on the other hand, always had the lords on their toes. If he was angry or annoyed, the entire court knew it.
I took a breath before following Ethelyn into the captain’s cabin, honing in all the years of practice, and set my face to a charming smile. My only hope was that Roy would not say or do anything that would make my emotions so visible as he’d managed to do more times than I liked to admit.
"Good evening," the captain said as we walked in and sat down.
"Good evening, Captain," I replied.
Roy caught my eye and smiled.
I reigned in my thoughts and feelings and simply returned it.
"I heard we are making good time, Captain," Ethelyn said, as the food was passed around the table.
"Yes," the captain confirmed. "I expect to be in Asteria sometime within a fortnight."
Two weeks. In two weeks, I would be home and having to explain m
y behavior and actions to my parents. I almost cringed at the thought.
"Our last stop at Lemhla should take us no more than a day," Seif added. "We are on a tight schedule and can’t afford to take any longer."
"Have you enjoyed your stay aboard the Enigma?" Captain Matek asked me.
"Very much," I replied. "I greatly appreciate the opportunity to come along. It has been quite the experience."
The captain smiled. "I’m happy to hear it." He turned to Roy. "Seif tells me you had some more problems with Hashim today."
Roy put his fork down and leaned back in his chair. "Yes, he’s been unruly, but nothing I can’t handle."
The captain nodded. "I’ve had problems with him before, but never on the level Seif was describing. Any reason why?"
How much had he done?
"Captain, it’s clear he doesn’t like me as quartermaster, but as I said, I can and will handle it, as is my job," Roy said tensely.
"There is no need to get defensive," the captain said.
"I would just rather discuss this when we aren’t having dinner," Roy said.
The captain nodded and turned his attention back to his plate.
The only instances I had known Roy and Hashim to go at each other had been the day they fought in the dining hall and today. I hadn’t realized there’d been more issues with him throughout the voyage. It gave me that much more reason to steer clear of him.
When we finished eating dinner, Ethelyn and I excused ourselves. As I went to follow Ethelyn down the hall to our room, Roy grabbed my hand and pulled me back.
"Meet me at midnight on the quarterdeck," he whispered. His breath tickled my ear.
I pulled away, surprised by the invitation.
"I’ll be waiting for you," he said quietly, and then retreated into the captain’s cabin.
"What was that about?" Ethelyn asked from the door of our room, and I wondered how much she saw.
"He was just reminding me that Bruhier will be expecting me in the morning as usual—no more breaks," I lied smoothly.
She raised an eyebrow but said nothing.
I lay in bed, restless, my eyes checking the clock. It was a quarter until midnight now, and I still hadn’t decided if I would meet Roy. It felt reckless, but the part of me that enjoyed the previous evening under the night lights wanted to. I tossed and turned, thinking that if I fell asleep, I wouldn’t feel bad about not going.
Ethelyn’s breathing was soft and steady as it had been for hours.
I glanced back at the clock.
Midnight.
My heart picked up its pace as I struggled to make up my mind.
Five minutes passed, then another. I sighed and sat up. I would go and not make him wait any longer.
As quietly as I could, I slipped a dress over my chemise, and crept for the door, shoes in hand. Once I was down the hall, I shoved my feet into them and stepped out into the chilly air. There wasn’t a soul in sight as I made my way to the steps that would take me to the quarterdeck. I hadn’t realized the sailors retired so early. I expected to find a couple playing cards or milling around.
I climbed the steps and saw Roy leaning on the rail looking out into the dark ocean, his dark cape flowing in the breeze. A thrill ran through me that I couldn’t explain. I walked over and said nothing as I came up beside him.
"You came," he said. I noted a tinge of relief in his voice.
"You didn’t think I would?" I asked.
"I wasn’t sure," he replied.
We stood there in silence, listening to the waves brush up against the ship.
"Do you think your family is worried about you?" he asked quietly.
"Who says I have a family," I said.
He shook his head. "I know you do."
I sighed. "Well most people do, so don’t start thinking all your assumptions about me are true."
"I don’t," he said, quietly. "At least not a family that would care if I never returned."
"I’m sorry," I said, unsure of what else to stay. "Is that why you left Surmania?"
"Among other things."
"What things?" I asked.
For a moment, I thought he would answer, but then he simply shook his head. "It doesn’t matter."
"In that case, I suppose you can stop pestering me with questions," I said, giving him a playful nudge.
"As if my answers would make you open up," he joked.
"But I have," I said quietly. "You know why I left Asteria."
"Just not who you are."
I threw my head back and let out a noise of frustration. "If I said I was the daughter of some lord, will you let it go?"
"Are you lying?"
I turned and looked at him. "I come from a great family that I love very much. I have a brother and a sister who mean the world to me, and yes, they are probably terribly worried about me because I was selfish and foolish enough to run away from my problems."
He blinked back in surprise at my sudden transparency.
"Your turn," I said, giving him an expectant look.
He eyed me carefully. "Very well. Both of my parents are dead, and I haven’t seen any of my family in many years. In that time, I worked as a sailor and was eventually hired as quartermaster of the Enigma. I don’t know if I’ll ever return to Surmania, and that notion haunts me."
A wave of sadness passed over me. "Then why not go back?" I asked gently.
He looked away. "I was a close friend of Prince Rostam. When he was accused of murdering his father, I, along with a few others, was forced to leave out of the fear that we would be imprisoned. As far as the officials cared, we were all his accomplices. I fled to Malan."
"I heard about that," I said. "You don’t think the prince did it?"
He shifted uncomfortably. "I knew him well—he could never have committed such a crime."
I placed my hand on his.
"I’ve never told anyone this before," he murmured.
"I won’t say anything."
Roy turned towards me, taking my hand in his. He stared intently into my eyes. "I don’t know how you’ve done it."
"Done what?" I whispered.
He stepped closer. "Ensnared me so. From the moment you walked into that tavern in Malan, you have been in my thoughts and dreams. No other woman has ever had such an effect on me."
My heart felt like it was going to leap from my chest. The heat of a blush crept up my neck and burned my cheeks.
Before I could fully comprehend anything, he leaned down and brushed his lips against mine. Their warmth lit something deep inside me, something that I thought had burnt out when I saw Thomas with Moira—something I never thought would come alive again.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into me, letting him know that somehow, I felt the same way. That he had helped me open my heart again. That knowing him was something unexpected and welcomed.
He took the invitation and kissed me with such ferocity, I thought I would drown. His lips moved greedily against mine, the stubble on his cheeks tickling my skin. He ran his hands down my sides and pulled me closer.
All too soon, his mouth released mine, and he looked down at me with such happiness that the butterflies in my stomach took flight. He tucked a stray stand of hair behind my ear and said, "You really are something, Norah."
At the sound of my false name, I felt my heart sink a little. Roy didn’t know who he was falling for, and yet, I was still hesitant to tell him the truth.
"I should probably get back," I whispered.
He released me and nodded. "Of course."
I gave him a smile, and he accompanied me back to the room.
"Good night," I whispered as I reached for the door.
He stopped my hand and backed me into the wall with another kiss—one that was gentler and sweeter than the last. A kiss full of promises I did not yet understand.
"Good night," he breathed.
I slid around him and entered the room quickly, but not before letting him see t
he joy he gave me.
☐☐☐☐
I slept soundly that night and woke with a smile on my face.
"Someone’s in a good mood this morning," Ethelyn said, as she brushed her dark hair.
"I guess it’s just a good day then," I said, realizing I had been humming to myself.
"I don’t know what has raised your spirits so, but it is good to see you happy again." She put the brush down and began braiding her hair.
I smiled. "I better get to the galley."
As I helped Bruhier prepare breakfast, I impatiently watched the clock on the wall. Roy would be coming in with the other sailors soon for the meal, and I could hardly wait to see him. I didn’t know how I managed not to burn anything.
When it came time to bring the pot of food out into the dining hall, I saw that some of the sailors were already trickling in. Hashim strutted in followed by two of his friends and gave me a dark look as he got in line. I quickly glanced away, just as the door opened and Tarique and Roy walked in. He caught my gaze and gave me a brilliant smile that took my breath away.
I wanted to run to him but was unsure if I wanted everyone to know about us. Not that I wanted it to be a secret, but something about keeping it to ourselves for now felt special. I wasn't sure if he saw it in my eyes because he simply got in the back of the line and kept on chatting with Tarique.
I slipped back into the galley, my heart fluttering in my chest. Bruhier was out in the dining hall serving the food, so I was alone. I picked up a slice of bread and leaned against the table, closing my eyes so I could see Roy’s beautiful smile. Sighing, I opened them and began nibbling at the bread, finding I didn’t have much of an appetite.
"Am I interrupting?" Roy asked from the entrance of the galley.
I jumped in surprise, almost dropping the bread. "No—no of course not," I said, tossing it onto a plate.
"Good," he said. It only took him a couple of strides to close the gap between us. I had to tilt my head back to look into his eyes—eyes that always reminded me of the blue-green waves that tossed the ship to and fro.
"You look beautiful this morning," he said. I bit my lip nervously, and he smiled. "Well, you always do."