by Sarah Olson
"It’s time to change him," she said quietly.
I could see in her face that she knew what had transpired between her husband and me. I almost expected her to ask me to be easy on him, but she didn’t. She simply walked over to the bed and began working on Roy.
I stood off to the side watching, not wanting to be in the way.
"I wanted to kill him, you know," Rebecca began after a moment without looking up at me.
I blinked in surprise. "Who?"
She gestured that I come over and pull Roy up so she could unwind the old bandages.
"Richard," she finally answered.
"I—I don’t understand—" I stammered.
"I wanted to kill him when I found out about you. That was years ago, of course, but I was furious."
I held Roy up for her. I had no words for that admission.
"He wasn’t even the one who told me, you know. It was your mother. And afterward, she gave me a choice of remaining in Asteria or being exiled with him."
"You chose exile," I breathed.
She nodded, keeping her eyes on her steady hands.
"Why?"
"Because he was my husband, and after the war, there was nothing left for me in Asteria. My father had been one of the nobles who were executed; my brothers died fighting; and my mother ran off in fear."
I couldn’t help but feel like her misfortunes were somehow my fault though she didn’t say it.
"You can lay him back down," she said as she inspected the wound. "It looks much better."
I took a step back from the bed.
"When I married Richard, I thought I had been his only love—that’s what he told me, anyway. But the truth was that he loved your mother first."
I frowned. "He didn’t love her."
For the first time, she met my eyes. "He did. He might have been young and foolish, but he had fallen for her. He didn’t admit that to me until after we left Asteria, but she’d been his first love."
"But he left her," I said. "You don’t just leave someone you love."
"That’s something you will need to speak with him about yourself," Rebecca said, setting to work on Roy again. "But that is not why I hated him after the war. I hated him because he had kept so much from me. He had a daughter and chose to keep that from me. I didn’t know if I could ever trust him again, and he has been trying to make it up to me ever since."
"Do you trust him now?" I asked quietly.
"Yes, with all my heart. But I won’t lie; it was a long road. And I can also tell you that he’s kept track of you ever since."
"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.
"Can you sit him up again?" Rebecca asked.
I stepped back to the bed and gently pulled Roy up.
"We get a lot of trade ships through here," she said, as she began to wrap the fresh bandages around him, "and whenever one comes from Asteria, he asks about you and your mother. He’s kept up with your life as a princess—the best he’s been able to, of course. He never dreamed he would see you again."
I had no words to respond. Richard cared for me. That was impossible.
"The boys know about you," Rebecca said. "Not that you are Aria, but they know Aria is their half-sister."
"You told them?" I asked, surprised.
"Yes," she replied. "Last year. We felt they were old enough to know."
"What did they say?" I asked. I hadn’t even known I had other siblings. I’d never even thought about it.
"They were astonished, of course. It’s one thing to know that your father was a former prince, but to learn that your sister is a princess was quite a shock."
"Do they hate my family?" I asked.
Rebecca tied off the bandage and helped me lean Roy back down. "That’s a difficult question to answer. Francis was furious and felt he’d been robbed of a great future, but Lucas took the news in stride. Regina and Vivien don’t know the details of what happened in Asteria, only that Richard cannot return because he was exiled by the queen."
"You’ve taught them to blame my mother," I said, the anger from earlier resurfacing.
"Not at all," Rebecca answered hastily. "We told them the truth. King Luther wasn’t a good king; I even knew that when I married Richard. I have faith that Richard could’ve been a great one, but the throne was never rightfully his. The people didn’t want him there."
I was surprised Rebecca thought this way, especially since she had been raised in a family that was extremely loyal to Luther. Somehow, she managed not to follow them blindly. As a princess, I always thought that letting her and Richard go had been a huge risk. If they managed to gain supporters against my parents, the results could’ve been deadly. But here they were, happy. Richard was Lord of the Coral Isles. Did my parents know this and never tell me?
"You expected us to have painted a bad picture of your family, didn’t you?" she asked quietly when I remained silent.
"I suppose I did," I admitted.
Rebecca gave me a smile and stood. "Those bandages will be good for now," she said as she made her way to the door.
"Thank you," I said as she reached for the doorknob.
"Anything for the princess of Asteria," she said with a bow of her head and slipped out of the room.
I gawked at the closed door. While I never expected to meet Richard or his wife, I hadn’t imagined that I would be so welcomed. It was unbelievable.
☐☐☐☐
I walked down the stairs, knowing that it was time to talk to Richard—really talk to him. It had been a couple of hours since I’d spoken with Rebecca and enough time to compose myself. Lunch had been sent to the room, which I assumed was because they knew I still needed some time alone.
A maid came out of the parlor just as I reached the bottom step.
"Excuse me," I said. "Where can I find Richard?"
"In his study, Milady," she replied. "It’s in a different building behind the house." She gave precise directions and then continued off to the kitchen.
I went out the front door and walked along the porch to the back. A little way from the house stood a cottage. It was white like the house with a rocky path that led from the porch to the front door. The grounds were empty as I followed the path to the cottage and knocked on the door.
"Come in," Richard called from inside.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Satisfied that I was as calm as I could be, I pulled the door open.
The cottage was one large room. Crowded bookshelves covered the walls and intricately woven carpets stretched across the floor. Beautifully carved furniture decorated the room, the large desk that Richard was standing behind taking up much of it.
"Aria," he breathed. There was no missing the surprise and hope on his face.
I swallowed and walked over to the front of the desk. "I’m ready to talk."
He gestured for me to sit on the canapé sofa by a quiet stone fireplace.
I settled down as he came around the desk and sat across from me. My eyes wandered around the room, unable to meet his just yet, and landed on a painting that hung above the fireplace. It was of the Council’s Palace that had once been Richard’s home.
"I miss that place," he said, following my gaze.
"It's still there," I said, my eyes taking in every detail of it. "I was supposed to get married in the Sunroom."
I could almost hear his smile. "That was my favorite room."
I sighed and tore my gaze from the painting. "I want to know what happened," I said. "I want to know why you chose to cast my mother aside and abandon me."
Richard shifted in his chair and watched me carefully.
"And I want the truth," I added.
He nodded. "I owe you that and more, Aria. I know that." He ran a hand through his hair and then looked me directly in the eyes. "There was a time I loved your mother—she even knows that. We only knew each other for a few months, but we were happy. When she told me she was pregnant, I wanted to protect her. I was going to marry her."<
br />
"But you didn’t," I reminded him.
"I thought she had betrayed me . . . I truly did. When she told me who she really was, I believed it had been something she’d kept from me since the very beginning." He winced as if the truth was more painful than he could bear. "When the soldiers sent after her returned and claimed she was dead, I hated myself, but I have to admit, I was relieved.
"My father never liked Layla from the beginning. He kept saying she was using me. I didn’t believe him until the day she showed me that sapphire. That was when I realized the threat I had inadvertently put my family in, and I had to fix it. Their lives depended on it, and I knew my father had been right about her using me."
"He was wrong, though," I interrupted.
"I know that now," Richard said. "But at that moment I was angry and frightened that I had just made the biggest mistake of my life."
"You did," I said, quietly. "You tried to have her killed."
He nodded. "But the part of me that still loved her gave her a head start. A couple of months later, when I learned she survived, I kept telling myself that she had betrayed me. I even tried not to think about the child she carried." There was much shame in his voice now. "And I’m so sorry for that, Aria."
I stared at him as the truth sank in. It hurt, but I somehow felt better. I had almost expected Richard to spin the tale as being the victim, but he didn’t.
"When our spies told us she had a daughter, a part of me was desperate to know you. Your existence and the father I was never going to be to you haunted my dreams. When I married Rebecca, I was eager to begin a family with her. I thought that if she had a child and I could love him or her, it would somehow make things right. Because I wouldn’t tell her about you, she couldn’t understand my frustration when she wasn’t getting pregnant. I was unfair to her because I made the relationship about me. I made it about getting over Layla and finding a way to forgive myself for abandoning you." He rested his face in his hands.
"The fact that Rebecca exiled herself with me is something I will never understand because I didn’t deserve her. But somehow she loved me through everything."
I looked down at my hands, the full weight of everything Richard had done on my shoulders.
"Did you ever think to try and reach out to me when I was older?"
Richard dropped his hands, sadness creeping across his face. "The first time I saw you, you wouldn’t get near me. You started to cry and I wanted to comfort you but I couldn’t. Instead, you clung to James. The way you wrapped your arms around his neck, I knew I had lost you forever. I knew that there was no way I’d ever be able to know you." His eyes became glassy. "But at that moment, I also knew that you didn’t need me and that I could move forward knowing that you were loved. I didn’t want to ruin that for you so I never tried to contact you."
Tears were sliding down my face now. Richard had let me go so James could be my father. While the part of me that loathed him throughout my life didn’t want to believe him, I had no choice. In my heart, broken as it was, I knew he was telling the truth.
"I did follow your life, though," he continued, a small smile growing on his face. "And I’m so proud of the woman you have become. I don’t expect you to forgive me for the things I’ve done, Aria—I only want to get to know you no matter how short your stay here may be. I want you to give me a chance."
I stood and wiped the tears from my eyes. "I thought you hated me," I whispered.
"Did Layla tell you I did?" he asked.
I shook my head. "But when you’re abandoned, it’s the only thing you can imagine. And as strange as this is, a part of me is glad you did because that gave James room to love me like his daughter."
"He is good to you," Richard said.
"Very." A smile spread across my face as I thought of my father and the unconditional love he gave me.
"I envy him for that," he said. "I have from the moment I learned he was marrying Layla." He sighed. "But that doesn’t mean that I’m not happy with my life now. Rebecca forgave me, and I have been able to raise four wonderful children."
"And you’ve done well," I said. "I’m happy that you found a good life outside of Asteria as I’m certain my mother would too." And that wasn’t a lie. Richard could have cast me out again or used me against my mother, but he didn’t. Instead, he welcomed me with open arms, hoping that I would one day forgive him.
Richard stood. "I still can’t believe it’s really you standing in front of me," he said with a shake of his head. "It’s as if fate has given me a second chance."
I gave him a teasing smile that I was somehow able to muster. "Well don’t think this means I’m going to start calling you father."
"Oh, I don’t," he laughed.
Hearing Richard’s admission and regret had filled something inside me. That missing piece of never knowing my birth father was gone, and I was grateful for the chance to have been able to speak with him, even when I thought I never wanted to.
"Thank you for being honest with me," I said. "If you don’t mind. though, I’m going to take a walk and think about all this."
He nodded in understanding. "I will see you at dinner?" he asked hopefully.
I shook my head. "I think dinner would be a good time for you to tell your children who I am."
He took a breath. "I suppose it would be better if you ate in your room then."
I gave him a small smile. "It would seem so."
Chapter 26
I SAT BESIDE THE BED with a book I had borrowed from Richard. I needed something to distract me from the worries plaguing me. But even a book couldn’t keep my mind from wandering. I kept revisiting everything Richard had told me.
He admitted to trying to put me behind him, and somehow that had been comforting. Perhaps it was because he was willing to tell me the truth and I appreciated that. He owned up to the fact that he had failed me. None of the blame was on my mother or me. Richard put it on himself. It was so different from the way Thomas treated the affair with Moira.
I put the book on my lap and sighed. I had read the same sentence ten times. I looked around the room for something else to do but came up empty. Dinner had been brought up to me an hour before, and it was still too early to go to bed. I decided to resort to snooping around the room.
Happy for a new distraction, I got up and went to the wardrobe across the room only to find a couple of folded blankets. I sighed in disappointment and went on to go through the desk and vanity dresser. Nothing but parchment, ink and quill, and an old hairbrush. The rest of the furniture was bare with nothing interesting to find.
I plopped back down into the chair again and crossed my arms. The bedside table caught my eye, and I leaned over to reach the small drawer. I found the dagger I’d been carrying next to the small leather pouch Roy usually wore around his neck. Rebecca must have taken it off when she was working on him and put it in the drawer for later. A renewed curiosity struck me, and I reached for the pouch.
I pulled it open and dumped its contents onto the palm of my hand. It was a ring, a golden serpent running along the band with emeralds for eyes. It was a peculiar ring yet stunning. I slid it on my finger and admired it. It was too big and not my style. As I took it off, I noticed words engraved on the inside of the band. They were not in the common tongue so I couldn’t read them. I would have to ask Roy about the ring when he woke. I slid it back into the pouch and returned it to the drawer just as a knock sounded at the door.
"Come in," I called.
Richard opened the door and stepped in the room. "I told them," he said.
"How did they take it?" I asked. I hadn’t heard any shouting during dinner and assumed that was a good sign.
"It was confusing for Vivien to understand, but she and Regina are delighted to have an older sister. The boys . . . " he trailed off and sighed. "I don’t know what they think. I asked that none of them bother you tonight, though—it’s been a long day with everything, and I realize it’s probably overwhelming."
<
br /> I nodded. "It is a lot to think about."
Richard wandered over to the bed and looked down at Roy. "Any change?"
"His fever has subsided, but he still hasn’t woken up."
"I’m sorry," he said, settling down at the end of the bed. He stayed silent for a moment and then asked, "Who is he to you?"
I looked up at him. "What do you mean?"
He looked slightly uncomfortable, and I could tell he was rewording the question in his head. "You seem very . . . attached to him. Is it because he’s your friend or something more?"
I shook my head. "I don’t know," I replied. "He’s not just a friend anymore; but we didn’t get much of a chance to see what we are beyond that."
As I spoke the words, I realized that they were the truth. Roy and I had something, and in his delirious state, he claimed to love me—but that was all. It may not have meant anything.
"The last news I got about you was that you were engaged to a Lord Thomas," Richard said.
"You heard correctly, but that is no longer the case," I said. "It's amusing though because I had been with him for almost two years before we were engaged because I wanted to be certain he was the right man for me. I didn’t want what happened to my mother to happen to me."
I detected a slight wince from Richard. I ignored it and continued. "My father also insisted that I not marry too young, and he was right—except I can’t help but feel like those years of my life were somehow wasted."
"I would hardly say they were wasted," Richard said. "I’m certain you learned some things along the way that will prepare you for whatever is to come."
I shrugged though the thought made me feel better. "I suppose I have learned some things—follow your instincts for one and don’t ignore the warning signs."
Richard smiled. "Sounds like a true princess."
I nearly laughed and averted my eyes.
"Why did you call it off?" Richard asked quietly.
I took a breath. "He was unfaithful to me."
"I’m sorry, Aria," he said sadly after a moment.
I met his eyes and gave him a faint smile. "At least I caught him before the wedding."