by RC Boldt
The walls feel like they’re closing in on me while anxious energy rises within me. I shoot up from my chair, almost sending it toppling backward. I shove my arms in my coat, grab the key for the room, and dart out, ensuring it locks behind me.
My breathing is shallow until I make it outside. I welcome the wintry air and descend the steps to the sidewalk. Standing along the side near the concrete light post, I draw in deep breaths in an attempt to calm myself. It’s when I realize who is nearby.
Feet perched on the large plastic crate, his body is wrapped in his tweed coat that settles below his knees, and fingerless gloves cover his hands. His legs are clad in more than one layer of sweatpants and his feet are stuffed into steel-toed boots that have seen better days.
A small bin sits on the ground beside him for anyone to toss in spare change or dollars. One hand clutches the worn Bible to his chest as he recites his Bible passage for the day.
“You will eliminate harmful beasts from the land, and no enemies shall pass through!”
Every so often, he repeats this to people passing by who ignore him as if he doesn’t exist. I watch him, his face wrinkled in such utter concentration, as if he’s frustrated with the lack of engagement from the strangers walking past.
An invisible force has my feet moving toward him. I realize that in my rush, I hadn’t brought my purse with me, so I don’t have any money to offer him.
“You will eliminate harmful beasts from the land, and no enemies shall pass through!” He shakes his fist at the sky before his head whips around in my direction. His gaze bores into mine in that eerie way he has about him. My legs are locked frozen in place, and I’m unable to tear my eyes off him. When his mouth parts, my heart stutters a beat because I know what he’s planning to say.
This time, however, his voice doesn’t possess a loud, booming quality in order to reach a multitude of people. Instead, it’s directed at me, his expression holding a somber fierceness. As if he understands the battle I’m waging against the evil around us, he speaks while extending his hand that clutches the old Book.
“You will eliminate harmful beasts from the land, and no enemies shall pass through.”
I stare back at him, wondering again if he really is a seer. “But I can’t be everywhere at once.” The words escape me before I realize it, but the man’s expression never changes.
He merely lowers his chin, squinting at me as if he’s a frustrated principal dealing with a troubled student, and repeats himself. His words are spoken slowly this time yet still vehemently. “You will eliminate harmful beasts from the land, and no enemies shall pass through.”
Holding my gaze, he appears to be waiting for some sort of confirmation. Confusion riddles me, so I merely nod.
It seems to satisfy him because he turns his eyes upward, holding his fist to the sky, and chants his selected message to other passersby.
I turn around and enter the library once again, the man’s words lingering in my mind.
“You will eliminate harmful beasts from the land, and no enemies shall pass through.”
“That’s it? Inconclusive?”
I stare at the screen displaying the audio breakdown, refusing to look at Landon. For the first time, I’m not entirely confident that I’ll be able to lie to his face. Frustration bleeds from his voice, and rightly so.
This entire investigation has been a fiasco. I expected that much, but it doesn’t mean it’s any easier to swallow.
“That’s it.” My tone is devoid of emotion. It’s best this way because I can’t afford to waste time dealing with emotion.
It’s futile for me.
“Fuck,” he grits out, raking his hands through his hair. My fingers itch to smooth it back, but I resist.
Fingers linked behind his head, he exhales slowly, staring straight ahead. “I suppose between that and having things at a standstill with whether the Carshedis plan to move forward, we’re on pause right along with them.”
Things might be at a standstill from Landon’s point of view, but not from mine. Because that audio wasn’t inconclusive, but this is my fight. Landon doesn’t have a stake in this battle. Not like I do.
Jodi will get resolution. It may not be the way she anticipated, but she’ll get a form of it.
The mayor is operating on borrowed time.
And I’m ready to cash in.
Chapter 70
Landon
I hate that it took a little coercion to get Kennedy here to my place for the first time, but I get it. She’s still skittish. I’m hoping to eliminate any doubts or fears she has.
She slides off her heeled boots on the small carpet inside the door, and I take her coat and drape it over the nearby armchair alongside mine. Withdrawing my holster, I carefully set it on the small dining room table and turn to watch her take in my space.
A unique eagerness fills me for her to approve of this. It might only be an apartment, but it’s my space, and I want her to feel comfortable here. I want her to feel comfortable with me.
She runs a hand along the top of the leather couch before surveying the space. Nervousness edges its way in, and I shove my hands in my pockets while Kennedy examines the few framed photos I have sitting on the mantel. She zeroes in on the one of my parents and me from long ago.
“That was a month before he was killed.”
She gazes at the photo, her tone solemn. “I love the smiles you all have.” Her voice turns softer with a trace of yearning in it. “You can tell you’re a loving family.”
“That’s what families should be like.”
“Mm,” she murmurs. “But not all are.” Her voice holds a thread of bitterness, and I assume it’s from everything she’s witnessed with her job. Like my own, the horrifying assaults against children linger long after an investigation is over.
Long after those guilty fuckers have either been sentenced or get off scot-free due to some joke of a loophole.
I move toward her, gently placing a hand at her hip, and sweep her hair back from her neck. Lowering my mouth, I place a kiss on her smooth skin.
“Ah, so this is why you’ve invited me back to your lair.” Her hushed words hold a teasing quality.
“Was it that obvious?” I smile against her neck. “Now, be quiet and let me and your neck have a moment to ourselves.”
She lets out a cross between a laugh and a breath, and my heart lurches in my chest. I hope this is a sign that she’s letting me in. Just as quickly, doubts rear their ugly heads.
How long are you willing to wait?
What if she’s like Kelsey?
You’re not any better, keeping secrets from her like you are.
Goddammit. It figures, the one time in my life I find a woman I could have a future with, and my world is swarmed with fuckery. But there’s no way in hell I can divulge anything. There’s just too much at stake here.
My mom’s parting words come back to me. She’d hugged me tight before I left with Kennedy. Like always, Mom read me like a book.
“Never sell yourself short,” she’d whispered. “You deserve it all.”
It makes me wonder if she saw something in Kennedy that I haven’t—something that made her worry. Then again, it could simply be maternal protectiveness.
There’s so much that’s up in the air—between this investigation and how much longer she might be here. I know I’ll regret it if I don’t at least try to put myself out there. Even if it makes my stomach churn like the biggest fucking wuss on earth.
I lick a path along the column of her neck while my hands skate along her hips, gently tugging her back against me. When she sucks in a sharp breath, I know she feels how fucking hard I am already.
This woman merely has to breathe, and I’m hard as steel, aching to bury my cock inside her. I scrape my teeth along the skin just below her earlobe, and she gasps my name.
“Tell me what you need, Doc. You know I’ll do anything for you.” Smoothing a hand over her flat stomach and down between her thighs
, I slide beneath her sweater dress to cup her pussy through her tights. Heat radiates from her.
When I rake my teeth along her earlobe, she lets out a breathy moan. “If you keep making those noises, I won’t be able to wait. I’ll have to rip a hole in these tights and slide those panties aside to get inside that pretty pussy.”
She presses her ass against my cock, and raging heat spreads through me like wildfire. “You want me to do that? Lose control because I need to bury my cock inside you so bad?”
She turns abruptly, and I drop my arms. She steers me with my back to the wall before stripping off her dress and tossing it aside. My breath lodges in my throat at the sight of her hair falling past her shoulders, black bra covering her gorgeous breasts.
Christ, she’s fucking beautiful. Everything about her is. So damn smart and just…good. Kennedy Alexandre’s moral compass isn’t broken like many others’.
When I don’t make a move, she arches an eyebrow in challenge. “Don’t tell me you’re all talk.”
Holy fuck. My hands fly to her tights, and I rip them apart, the fabric voicing its destruction in the quiet room. Shoving aside her panties, I slide two fingers inside her pussy and instantly find her soaking wet.
My head drops to her shoulder. “Fuck, yes.” She coats my fingers, and when I glide them in and out, her hands clutch my biceps. “So goddamn wet, Doc.”
When her hands drop to my pants, fingers fumbling with my belt, my cock surges. Once she unfastens and shoves my pants and boxer briefs down well past my hips, my dick juts free, slapping against my stomach. I kick everything off, and she curls her hand around my shaft.
The muscles in my stomach flex in response when she works her fist over my cock in one long pump. Running her thumb over the slit, spreading the fluid there, she has my hips jerking, and more leaks from the tip.
My hand flies to her head, cradling the side of her face. I dip my head to kiss her, but she turns a fraction, giving me her cheek instead. Fuck, fuck, fuck. My lips burn with the need to kiss her mouth, but I force my disappointment aside and drop kisses along her cheekbone and jaw.
Walking her backward, I guide us to the couch and pull her down with me. With her straddling me, I don’t give a fuck that I still have my shirt on because I’m out of my mind for her.
Holding her panties aside with one hand, I fist my cock and drag the flared head through her wet folds. A hoarse groan inches its way up my throat, and before I can give it another thought, she braces her hands on my shoulders and sinks down on my cock. Taking me inside her wet heat, she practically strangles me with her snug pussy.
My dick pulses, and I can’t help but give a sharp upward thrust. While she works herself over my cock, her eyes, hazy with lust, remain locked with mine. Blond hair drapes her shoulders, the ends dangling past the slope of her breasts. I watch her move, and the way she stretches tight around my cock has my control splintering rapidly.
The power and speed of my upward surges intensify in time with her downward thrusts, and her inner muscles flutter around me. I grip her hips, guiding her to take what she needs from me. She pants, her hips working hard to hurtle me past the edge.
“Your pussy’s grabbing at me,” I say through clenched teeth. “It needs me like I need it.” Like I need you.
When I move my thumb to her clit and circle it, she floods my cock, and I almost lose all restraint. She has me fucking aching. “Tell me you ache, too, Doc.” My words come out in harsh pants as she rides me hard. “Tell me.” I give a rough upward thrust, and a flush spreads across her chest, nipples prodding through her bra. “You. Ache.”
“Yes.” Her voice shakes when I speed up my motions on her clit. “I ache.”
I open my mouth over her collarbone and rake my teeth gently against her skin. Her hips jerk, and her movements become more frenzied. “Landon.”
I raise my head to lock eyes with her. “Go ahead. Come on my cock. Squeeze me with that sweet pussy—Oh, fuck.”
Kennedy’s inner muscles fist me so tightly I see stars. Motherfucking bliss, that’s what this is. Control shattering, I punch my hips hard and deep, our flesh slapping together as I tunnel in and out of her.
My balls are painfully tight, and I only manage a few more driving thrusts before I shudder, releasing inside her in near-violent spurts. “Kennedy.” Her name falls from my lips in a voice that sounds rough as sandpaper. “Kennedy.”
My chest heaves as I pant against her shoulder, attempting to drag in deep lungfuls of air.
It figures the universe would send me the perfect woman at the most fucked-up time.
It fucking figures.
Chapter 71
Kennedy
“You know…you don’t have to go.”
My body might be sated, but his words and the underlying longing in them have every muscle stiffening.
With my back to him, I hurriedly slide from the edge of the bed. Tugging on my underwear, I refasten my bra before pulling on my dress.
I’d already put them back on once before, but my weakness for this man had me following him into his bedroom, where he’d seduced me out of them. “I need to head home.”
That’s all the explanation I give him. Even though I’d love nothing more than to return my clothes to a pile on the floor and curl up in the bed with the weight of his body tucked around mine, I can’t.
There’s still a job to do tonight.
The sound of the shifting bedsheets hits my ears, and I stiffen while I finger-comb my hair from its mussy state.
From my periphery, I catch sight of his firm, naked ass as he bends to drag on a pair of pajama pants. He’s much too astute and quick because his head snaps around, spotting my eyes on him. His expression alone has my hackles rising because it practically screams of dogged curiosity.
“Why do you always have to bail at night?” Brown eyes spear me, flicking over my face, surveying me for anything that might clue him in to the answer.
When I remain silent, hurt flashes in his gaze. His voice turns muted but probing. “Why won’t you let me in? I told you about my family…brought you home to meet everybody, even. But you still won’t share anything.”
I steel my spine, attempting a noncommittal tone. “There’s nothing to share.” Nothing I can share.
Nothing I want to share.
His eyes sharpen on me. “Nothing to share? Or nothing you’re willing to share?”
I exhale loudly. “Don’t do this, Lattimer.”
His features darken, exasperation bleeding from each word. “You won’t let me fucking kiss you on the lips, but you’ll let me fuck you any way I want? You let me fuck you bare, for Christ’s sake!” When he rakes his hands through his hair, agitation seeps from his movements.
Defensiveness bubbles up, and I find myself practically snarling, “I’d have to have a fucking uterus for you to get me pregnant, so no worries there, champ.”
His expression turns stricken. “Another thing you weren’t planning to share with me, huh?” When I don’t respond, he lets out a world-weary sigh. “I know how you take your coffee. That you have a green thumb and can grow beautiful flowers, but I don’t know your favorite color—”
Black, like my soul.
“Or your favorite song.”
My own demented version of “Hush, little baby.”
“If you have a side of the bed you prefer, or if you like being lazy on fucking Sundays.” Hands move to grip the back of his neck, and I know without touching him that his muscles are knotted tight. I itch to go to him, to soothe him somehow.
But I can’t.
Dread floods my veins when his voice dims as if the life has been snuffed from it. “I did this once before and swore I’d never do it again. Yet here I fucking am.”
My stomach twists itself into a tight knot, but I ignore it. Dammit, I should’ve known better.
“I can’t let myself settle for scraps, Kennedy.”
Indignation rises within me like the fiercest tsunami because
he’s comparing me to her—his former fiancée. The bitch who cheated on him and lied to him while he was overseas fighting on behalf of his country. He’s drawing a comparison between us because she kept things from him. She lied to him.
Just as I’ve been doing.
I pinch my eyes closed at the realization that I’m no different from her. In fact, I’m worse.
His voice is deceptively gentle, yet each word cracks like a whip, launching an attack all its own. “I feel like I’m tiptoeing around, afraid to push too hard because you’ll shut down. I just want to know you. To know we’re on the same page.
“Because I want to fall asleep with you every night. I want to wake up to you in my bed each goddamn morning. I want to do all that without you freaking out and sprinting for the door like you’re being chased by a pack of fucking wolves.”
His eyes search mine, and the traces of anguish and yearning serve as a brutally swift sucker punch to my gut.
“I want to know why you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, who put it there to begin with, and fuck it if I don’t want to knock it off for you.” Creases form between his brows. “If you’d just let me.”
I can’t part my lips because I’m terrified of what could spill out.
I’d give anything to stay here with you every night of my life.
I wish you could help me with this insurmountable weight I carry around.
But I can’t say any of it. It would be leading him on even more than I already have.
He scrubs a hand over his face, looking wearier than I’ve ever seen him. “Fuck…Kennedy.” His voice is coarse, and the way he grits out the words gives me the impression he’s at war with himself. Lowering his eyes from me, he grips the back of his neck, his bicep muscles bunching.
When his dark eyes meet mine, shock ricochets through me at the sight of the devastation in the depths. It must show on my face because his features cloud before his brows descend. It’s as if he’s resigned himself to this and is implementing all resistance, putting on his proverbial armor.