by Fiona Faris
“We have to keep going,” Angus urged, and the others followed quickly. They made it down with only one floor left, and Uilleam paused the company.
“It is going to be a challenge from here. We are almost to the entry of the castle. It is wide and open. We’ll not ken if it’s safe to move forward and anyone can see us at any moment. We may not hear or see them in time. And once we’re out the door? There’s no telling what lies beyond,” Uilleam reminded them.
Siusan inhaled deeply, trying to shove aside her fear.
Slowly, the company moved together, making their way down the silent, open stairs and into the entryway of the castle. They moved along the wall with Angus leading the company and stopping whenever there was a hallway. He would look down, confirm that there was no threat, and then move forward with the others following behind.
Siusan knew that Cailean had to be somewhere within the castle. As did his other soldiers and guards. They had not simply disappeared. They were either here inside or waiting just beyond the heavy wooden doors. Whichever it was, she did not look forward to riding out to meet them.
Finally, they reached the oak doors. Uilleam looked back to make sure that all the Gunns were with him and he nodded for them to be ready. Ready from before and ready from behind. There was no telling what lay ahead.
He pushed the doors open, and Siusan tried to look beyond his head into the darkness. She saw no one and watched the tension ease from Uilleam’s back before he turned and gave them all a nod of confirmation with eyes bright from relief. They followed him outside where it was silent, and not a soul was present.
In the darkness, they had cover. Certainly, they were still visible, but only if they were being watched. Uilleam and Angus led them away from the castle and to the stables where they could collect the horses that would take them back to Glen Orchy. Siusan internally groaned that Oighrig was not there to take her.
They collected James’s mount and made for the edge of the woods ahead where Angus and Uilleam had kept their own steeds waiting.
Siusan finally allowed herself to breathe freely. They were safe. There was nothing now that could harm them.
And just with that thought, a whistle rang through the air followed by a cry from James.
Chapter Thirty-One
The woods beyond Kilguhurne
Moments later
Another whistle was heard coming from Uilleam’s left, and he realized that they were still under attack. The archers had been positioned. It had all still been a trap.
James had been hit in the gut from behind, but they didn’t have time to stop. Uilleam and Angus quickly heaved James onto his horse, lying at an awkward angle, and moved forward into the woods. As the arrows continued, another cry sounded from James and his steed whinnied. But Uilleam kept moving forward, knowing they had to reach cover.
Once they were in the woods, Angus rapidly untied his mount and Uilleam’s. They helped Shona up onto James’s steed so she could drive the beast forward and keep James in place until they were able to stop and tend to him. Siusan mounted in front of Uilleam, and they all moved forward into the early morning ule.
“We have to be quick. I ken you’re worried for your brother, but we can’t do a thing until we’ve gotten far enough,” Uilleam reminded Siusan. It hurt him to see her so anguished over her brother, but he knew that they had to keep moving forward or they would all be killed. There was no telling whether or not the Campbells were coming after them into the woods.
After a time, they finally reached a safe enough distance, and Uilleam called for them all to slow.
“I think we’ve put enough distance between us and the buggers. We have to help James,” Angus said urgently, recognizing that Uilleam was finally willing to stop.
Uilleam nodded and they all dismounted and got James to the base of a tree where they would be able to set him easily. The sun was coming through enough that they could see what they had to work with, but there was no telling the extent of the damage.
“He’s weak,” Siusan whimpered, seeing that her brother was trying to hold on and remain conscious. Uilleam wished she didn’t have to be there for all of this, to have to see what was likely to come next.
“Right, it’s all the way through. That’s a good sign. We just have to pull it out the other end. It’s going to hurt him. Badly. Siusan, can you find a bit of branch for him to bite on?” Uilleam asked.
Siusan found a large stick that would help James handle the pain and handed it to Uilleam.
“Thanks, lass. Now, James, are you listening?” he asked, trying to keep the Gunn awake.
“Ay,” James breathed through an agonized voice.
“Right then, open that cavern of yours and let me pop this in there, it’ll help you,” he instructed. Uilleam wasn’t used to being so soft, but he could tell well enough that this was going to be difficult. James was in a bad state. And Siusan would not handle it well.
James lazily bit down on the stick, and Uilleam set to work guiding the arrow with his hands until he could easily pull it out from James’s abdomen. The young man cried out in pain and Uilleam hoped that he would soon pass out, so he wasn’t subject to the agony.
But James was fighting against his weakness and maintained consciousness despite his frequently closing eyes. He was more of a fighter than Uilleam had given him credit for.
Then finally, just as Uilleam was tying another strip of Shona’s dress around James, he lost consciousness, and his body sagged.
“Right, we had best get him on the horse and keep going. The farther we can travel with him unconscious the better,” Uilleam noted. “If we are close to Clyth Castle by the time he wakes, we can get him some better help, and he will be able to lie still in a bed rather than the pain that riding will cause.”
Angus grunted in agreement, moving to help Uilleam get James back onto the horse with Shona. Soon they were on their way once again.
Siusan could not seem to escape her exhaustion. The rhythm of Uilleam’s horse kept her mercilessly awake. As if that hadn’t been enough, every now and then if she rubbed against Uilleam in the motions, she could feel his own awakening, and he would simply whisper a quiet sorry in her ear before suggesting that he would wait until later before acting on it.
Uilleam seemed to sense her discontent, and she allowed his wide, rough hand to stroke her arm comfortingly.
“I can barely keep my eyes open,” Siusan whined, once more awakened by the trot of the hooves.
“Well you have another beast to ride when this is over,” Uilleam teased. Siusan didn’t have the energy to turn to face him and roll her eyes, but she did manage to shove her elbow in his gut just enough to give him a hint that she needed rest before any sort of riding took place again.
“Ach!” he exclaimed.
“That’s whit ye get fer no’ considering how exhausted I am an’ the fact that I hae a bit else on my mind just now,” she reminded him, feeling an attitude from the lack of sleep and the fact that her brother was in precarious health.
“We will have time to rest upon our return, Siusan. At least, you and your mother will,” Uilleam said, trying to quiet her.
A groan up ahead snapped Siusan out of her train of thought and out of the argument. First, she looked in all directions around and behind her in fear that perhaps they had been followed after all. Her fear was heightened by the lack of sleep and the fact that she was hungry.
But the groan came again, and this time Siusan looked ahead of her to where James and Shona were riding.
“James?” Shona cried pitifully, trying to maneuver her son on the steed.
Siusan watched as James’s body swayed from atop his horse and hit the ground hard on his right side. It was a terrible crunching sound that seemed to hit Siusan right in the gut.
“James!” she cried through a strangled voice.
Uilleam swiftly pulled back to stop his horse, and the steed reared with an angry snort, nearly knocking them both off. When his hooves f
inally stilled, Uilleam helped Siusan dismount as she rushed to her brother.
Angus and Uilleam followed, but Siusan reached James first, and they all gave her the space to rush to his side and beg him to be alright. Shona sat hovered over her son with one of her hands wrapped around his.
“Siusan, be careful,” Uilleam warned, worried that in her rush to check on her brother, she might let him in a way that could cause further damage. It had sounded like James’s bones had cracked when he his the ground.
James looked up at the people surrounding him but gasped for air after the fall. His face looked slightly panicked but almost embarrassed as if he hadn’t wanted the family to see him in this state but had known it was only a matter of time.
“James, what is it? What happened?” Siusan pleaded.
“Siusan…” James labored. “I’m sorry fer luring ye oot tae that field. I’m sorry that I allowed Cailean tae kidnap ye that day. I’m so sorry fer everything I hae done in the name o’ oor clan, when really, it was my own selfishness. Do ye forgive me?” he begged.
“Oh James, stop this nonsense! Don’t be a fool. You know that there is nothing at all to forgive,” Siusan cried in reply.
“Siusan, please. Just listen tae me. I’m sorry. I’m sorry tae all o’ ye fer trusting that Campbell chiel. I’m sorry fer being sich a fool, so naive. I betrayed ye, all o’ ye, but especially ye, Siusan. I let ye down. I failed. And now I hae no time left tae avenge my wrongs. I can only beg yer forgiveness,” James proceeded.
It was clear that for his last moments of life, he cared for nothing but making amends from the mistakes he had made and all the trouble he had caused to his family.
“Oh, James!” Siusan wept, burying her face in his neck, trying not to press on the affected area. Angus and Shona wept as they watched the scene and Shona leaned into her husband’s chest as he moved alongside her.
“James, you have already done more than make up for it all. You saved us. You turned against Cailean when you know who he was and how horrible a man he was. How can you seek to make amends when there is nothing left to amend? You needn’t apologize, not anymore,” Siusan continued. She could hold nothing against him. All he had done had been in vain pursuit, but at least he believed that it would benefit his family and that there was a reasoning behind it, no matter how flawed.
“But I do, Siusan.” James was almost choking on his words. “I harmed ye. I almost left ye tae be the wife o’ that wretched creature. It was my fault. I sinned against ye an’ oor family an’ yer new husband. I did all o’ that. It was my own fault,” he said, releasing the guilt even as his breathing labored.
“I forgive you, James. I will always forgive you. I could never hold any of it against you,” Siusan promised. She gave him a look of a guarantee, and James’ eyes met her own to accept her words, and she saw in them that he finally believed her.
“Then I am free. If you forgive me then I am truly free,” he sighed in relief.
Siusan continued to weep, and the sobs came in waves that caused her chest to quake. The whole of it seemed unbearable, and Siusan could not fathom the fact that her brother was lying before in such a mortal state. With everything they had been through, how could it come to this end?
“James, I must beg you for forgiveness as well!” she finally managed to say. “For all my years as your spoilt younger sister. For my selfishness and constant pride and arrogance. For stealing all of faither’s affections and attention. Oh, I have been the worst of sisters!” she sobbed again, thinking of all the pettiness that had existed between them.
“Don’t, Siusan. ‘tis alright. All o’ it. I was a fool fer my jealousy. Ye were only behaving the way that daughters do, an’ I cannae fault ye fer that. Please, ‘tis alright.” James wheezed.
“No, James, it’s not alright. And I’m sorry for killing your pet kestrel. I am sorry for what I did when we were young, and I murdered the poor beast. I shouldn’t blame you at all if you hated me for it. I was terrible!” she exclaimed.
“Please forgive me, brother!”
James let out a chuckle that sounded as if it were underwater. Siusan knew that he was drowning in his own blood even as they cried together.
“Siusan, it was so long ago. No matter how upset I was then, how could I remain so now? Ye are my sister, an’ that is all I care aboot. Of course ye are forgiven, lass,” James assured her.
While Siusan cried, she heard her mother’s weeping as well. Her father stood, trying to remain strong, while his wife fell against him. But Siusan sensed that even he, the chief of their clan, was unable to hold himself together for long.
For a moment, Siusan allowed herself to understand what was coming next. She allowed herself to accept that it was the end. Her brother would be gone soon. She would be left with her parents and Uilleam and all of the past, everything that she had of her brother would be but a mere memory.
“Thank you for your forgiveness,” she whispered to her brother.
“Thank you for yours,” he replied quietly, lifting his hand from her back and haphazardly placing it on her cheek.
Siusan rose from her place against James’s neck and stared down at her dying brother who gave her a faint smile.
“Uilleam,” he called weakly, and the red-bearded highlander came to him, kneeling down beside James with pity in his eyes.
“Take care of this lass. Take care of her and be blessed in your marriage. Both of you. Enjoy the years you have together and the family that will come. And know that I am honored to have seen you come to be together,” James said, slowly releasing the words through his agony.
Siusan nodded with gratitude, but it did not take long before she felt the way her brother’s hand released from her cheek and fell solidly beside her.
James’ eyes stared up into the sky, still dark but tinged with morning red to the east.
Siusan gave an anguished cry, and her mother followed suit in open weeping. Angus took his wife in his arms just as Uilleam held Siusan and they allowed the two who loved James more than anyone else ever had to grieve the loss of him.
Siusan felt Uilleam try to gently pull her away, but she pushed him off, unwilling to raise herself from the body of her brother. There was nothing that could keep her bring close to him in the midst of his loss. There was nothing that could lead her away in her grief.
James was gone now. Clans were destroyed. And nothing would ever be the same again.
More than ever, Siusan vowed that Cailean Campbell should not be long for this world.
Chapter Thirty-Two
The woods of Glen Orchy
Later that day
Uilleam led the steed that carried the body of James into the woods with Siusan following behind on his horse and her parents behind her on her father’s. He had seen Siusan’s distress and knew the horrible feelings she must be passing through. No stranger to loss, Uilleam hoped to do as much as he could to spare Siusan the challenges the lay ahead in her grief.
He wondered if Siusan knew quite how bad the following days would be. He feared how it might affect her temper, how her spoilt nature would respond to having something so precious taken from her life this. She had not given him reason to believe that she would handle it well.
Being back on the land of Glen Orchy at least gave the Gunns a sense of home. Their exhaustion was tamed only by the sobering fact of the loss and the awareness that they could not return home until they had completed their business here.
They reached a spot in the woods where the Gunn clan had buried many of their soldiers. Knowing that this time it would be their very own family, son and brother, the air felt different, the anguish sharper.
Solemnly and quietly, the family dismounted, and Angus helped Uilleam pull James’s body from the back of the beast that had carried it all this way.
They lay James on the ground and folded his arms across his chest before the men began to dig.
“It’s peaceful where he is, I’m sure of it,” Shona whispered
to her daughter, the tears pooling over her eyelids. Her motherly nature was soft and calm, unable to bear the burden of this loss.
Siusan nodded. They sat against the base of a tree and gazed at the lifeless body while dirt was flung into the air from the efforts made by the two strong men. They had no tools for digging but rather cut a branch in half to each use the wide paddle to create the hole in the earth.
It was a long effort, and Siusan and her mother finally managed to drift into a fitful sleep as they leaned against one another for comfort in the midst of their terrible new suffering.
By the time Siusan startled awake from a horrible dream, in which everyone she loved had been taken from her, it was apparent that Uilleam and her father were ready to say their farewell to James.