“I think so.” I smile when he comes in and looks around. “This is my home.” Looking around, I see that it really is mine.
“Looks amazing.” He walks to the fireplace and picks up a picture of Crystal and me taken last weekend when we went to the farmers market. “You guys look like this is where you’re meant to be.” He puts the frame down and walks to the kitchen. “I’m starving.” Grabbing some leftovers from last night, he pops them in the microwave, then leans back on the counter. “So what else is new?”
The question is a loaded one, and he doesn’t even know. I haven’t told anyone about Jensen, only because I’m not sure what to say. “Nothing really.” I shrug. The microwave beeping saves me this time. I know by the time he leaves, he will know all about Jensen. “Did you come here right after your shift?”
He nods his head as he digs into the pasta. “I’m bone dead tired. If you don’t mind, I’m going to take a shower and crash for a couple of hours.”
“Mi casa es su casa.” My house is your house. I joke with him. “There is a twin bed upstairs, but you won’t fit in it, so you can have my bed.”
“You sure?” he asks as he puts the container in the sink, and I nod. He kisses my cheek. “You look fantastic.” He looks into my eyes when I smile.
“Go, we will catch up later,” I tell him, pointing at the hallway where my room and the shower are. I walk back upstairs to my office when I hear the shower running. Opening my browser, I start working on the website for Heidi and Delores. I have all the things lined up when I hear a soft knock on the door. Getting up, I walk downstairs, but Blake beat me to the door. He swings the door open as he stands there shirtless and in his shorts. My mouth opens as I see Jensen standing there glaring. “Who the fuck are you?” he asks as Blake now stands up straight, his muscles going tight.
“Who the fuck am I? Who the fuck are you?” he hisses. I run down the stairs and step in front of Blake and smile to a white-faced Jensen, taking in his fists beside him.
“This is Blake,” I tell him, trying to get him to look at me and not Blake. “My brother,” I say, the words finally clicking as he looks at Blake and then down at me.
“Oh,” he says as I turn to look at Blake. “This is Jensen Walker.”
Blake doesn’t say anything and just nods, and Jensen puts his hand out. “My friends call me Walker; your sister and my grandmother are the only ones who call me Jensen.” Blake reaches out to shake his hand. They both stand there, eyeing each other.
“Okay,” I say when I push my brother so his hand releases from Jensen. “You were going to nap, so go.”
He looks at me and then at Jensen. “I’ll see you around.”
Jensen just puts his chin up, accepting the invitation. Blake walks back toward my room as I watch him and then turn back to look at Jensen. “So what brings you by?” I say, leaning against the door. The sight of him in his dusty work clothes, thick sweater, and construction boots have me almost fanning myself.
“Well, I was in the neighborhood, and I thought I would swing by and get—”
I smile, walking to him. “You thought you would get what, exactly?” I wrap my arms around his shoulder as his hand grasps my waist, bringing me to him.
He leans in, kissing me. “Some of this.” He kisses the side of my lips, then down to my neck. I move my head to the side to give him full access right before he comes up and takes my lips.
“Well,” I say when we pull apart. “You can pass by anytime for that,” I tell him as I bury my face in his shoulder.
“I guess you aren’t going to come down tonight?” he asks when I look behind me.
“Not sure, but I might be able to sneak over just to get some.” I wiggle my eyebrows at him as he smiles, kissing me once again before turning to walk back to his truck.
I lean on the doorjamb, checking him out. “Nice ass, Walker,” I shout, and he turns and looks over his shoulder.
“I could say the same,” he says. Climbing in his truck, he drives away. I close the door.
“So he’s the reason you look like you do?” Blake asks, standing in the doorway to my bedroom. I walk over to the kitchen and grab a bottle of water from the fridge. My throat suddenly dry like sand.
“I don’t know what you mean,” I tell him, avoiding his eyes.
“Your glow, your eyes, shine.” He walks into the kitchen and takes a seat at the table. “I was expecting to come here and find the shell of a woman who had her heart broken. The defeated look you had when you packed up your car and took off.” He puts his hands on the table. “I expected to see you withdrawn. I expected to see you locked away.”
“Well,” I start but stop when he lifts his hand.
“I’m not saying it’s a bad thing.” He shakes his head. “Trust me, it’s fucking great. I’m just surprised is all.”
I nod, taking another sip of water, and walk to the kitchen table. Pulling out the chair and sitting down in front of him, I know I have to give him the truth. “I will be honest … when I got here, I was broken, empty, shallow. I felt like I wouldn’t be able to go on the next day. It was like I was the one who was dead. I was the one buried in a box with everything crashing down on me, crushing me. Every single time I took a breath, my chest hurt; my heart beat, but nothing else came out of it. It was beating to beat. But then I came into this broken-down house, and let me tell you, it was broken down. I thought Crystal was going to hightail it back home, but I went to the beach and I sat down on the cold sand, the waves crashing into the shore, and I felt as lost as the waves did. But then I felt something else even though at the time I didn’t know what. Now that I look back, I think I just felt at peace. So even if the house was in shambles, I knew this was where I wanted to be. It was where I had to be. So I moved in and the house was a disaster, but in a weekend, it was perfect.” I swallow. “And every day, I used to sleep maybe two, three hours tops, but I would wrap myself in a blanket and go outside, and I would watch the waves crash into the shore. I would think of all the little things Eric did to try to understand why.” I look down at my hands, thinking of how far I’ve come. “I would wonder what I could have done differently to be that person he needed. Or I would try to see if I missed any signs he had another woman. I mean seriously”—I laugh but the tears get me also—“how could I not know he was with another woman? How could I not see the lies that came out of his mouth? How could I not be that one person who made him complete?” I swallow as Blake squeezes my hands.
“You were not the problem,” he tries, but I stop him.
I nod my head. “Oh, I know that now, but I didn’t back then. I went through every memory and dissected it to see if I missed something. A clue, a word, something to see if it was in front of my face this whole time, but”—I shake my head as my thumb wipes away a tear in the corner—“but it wasn’t there. No matter what I did, I couldn’t see it then, and I couldn’t see it now. I loved him. I really did, with all my heart, but then I hated him.” I swallowed past the lump in my throat. “I hate him. I hate him more than I loved him. And I hate that I hate him; I hate that he did this to me. That he took what I thought was the love of my life and made me hate it. I hate that he took the love I gave him and made it into a lie.”
“It wasn’t all like that. He did love you.” Blake reaches out, and I put one hand on top of his.
“No, he didn’t because if he did, he would never have done what he did.” I shake my head. “He would never promise to love me till we grow old together when he already made those promises to someone else. When he already promised her more. Fuck, he had children with this woman.” I throw my hands up. “You see, he didn’t love me. He was just selfish. He didn’t love me; he loved himself.”
“Hailey …” he says.
“No,” I slam my hand on the table. “There are no words you can say that will make what he did okay. Nothing you can do or say will change my mind on that. There are no pictures you paint that will make it okay, but”—I inhale—“with all t
hese memories and thoughts, I came to a conclusion. I deserve the fucking world. I deserve to have a man who will not only love me and only me but also won’t have to look elsewhere to be complete. That is what I deserve. I deserve to be put on top of the pedestal and kept there.”
“You think that guy can do it?” Blake points at the door.
I inhale and answer the loaded question as honestly as I can. “All I know is that I would never have to doubt Jensen. I know he calls me just because. I know when he has a shitty day, he talks to me about it instead of saying, ‘I don’t want to talk about it.’ I know he would never take off for work and not call at least once a day, and most of all, I know he would never lie to me. I haven’t known him that long, but I know in here”—I point at my chest—“that my heart trusts him. That what he says is what he means. And that means everything,” I tell him, and he nods at me.
“There are some things I need to tell you.” He starts off, looking at me and then down at our hands. “Things that happened after you left that you should know.”
I pull my hands away from him as I eye him, and he gets up and goes to my room as I watch him disappear and then come back out with a white envelope. “Now, I want you to hear me out before you say anything.” I look at him as he sets the envelope down in front of him, my eyes never leaving the bleak white envelope.
“Eric left you a letter,” he says, and I gasp, my heart racing like a million horses running in a field. My hands fly to my lap, shielding itself from touching that white envelope. “A month after you left, Samantha showed up looking for you.”
“What?” I whisper as my heart never does get back to a normal heartbeat.
“She went by your old house because that is the address Elliot gave her.” He looks at me to see if he should continue or not. “The new owners gave her my name. She showed up at the firehouse.”
“Why the fuck would she show up at my house?” I ask him, wondering what she was thinking.
“She isn’t the evil one you think she is,” he says as she looks down and something glitches in his eyes. “She had no idea anything was happening. Or that he was leading a double life.”
“I’m finally fucking happy, so why can’t he let me be fucking happy?” I say, pushing to get up from the table. “I don’t fucking want that letter. I don’t want to read it; I don’t want it in my house,” I say to the universe more than to Blake. “Better yet, I don’t fucking care.” I storm out the front door, slamming the door behind me. Angry I left my own house. Angry I let it get to me, but more so angry he has now tainted my table with his bullshit. I turn to walk to the back, down to the water, down to where I can find myself.
Chapter Twenty-One
Jensen
“Where are you?” Crystal asks me. I’m pulling up to the office when I answer my phone.
“Just got to the office,” I answer, suddenly confused as to why she is calling me. “What’s the matter?” My body goes tight, and my blood goes cold.
“I have no idea, but Blake just called me and asked me to give you a call. I don’t have the details,” she says as I start my car and make my way over to Hailey’s. “But she’s on the beach.” I toss my phone on the seat as I turn on her street and park in the driveway. Her brother’s sitting on the front porch swing.
“What happened?” I ask him as I stand in front of the house.
“She’s on the beach,” is all he says or all I hear because I’m running to the beach, running to her.
I see her sitting in the middle of the beach, all alone, the wind blowing her hair as the water looks like its crashing on her. I walk down the steps to her. Instead of sitting beside her, I sit behind her. Resting my legs on the outside of hers, I lean my body over her, almost protecting her from the wind that howls around us. My hands go to my knees. I expect her to have her shield up and be stiff, but instead, she leans into me. “Hey there,” I say into her neck as I lean down and kiss her. Her sniffling indicates she’s been crying.
“Why?” she whispers as she looks at the water, never turning to me. “Why can’t he let me be happy?”
My hands form fists as I think about how it might not go over well to beat the shit out of her brother. “Hailey.”
“No,” she shouts. “Trust me, these are not sad tears, these are angry tears. I finally fucking feeling like myself again.” She wipes her eyes and pushes her hair aside. “No, that is wrong. I feel better than I ever felt, and he somehow comes up with a way to kick me down,” she says as she wipes away another tear. “He was married, fucking married to someone else.” I wrap my hands around her, bringing her closer to me; her heart pounding so fast under my hand I think it’s going to come out of her chest.
“Hailey, breathe,” I tell her. “Just breathe.” I kiss her neck as she slowly starts to settle.
“He left a fucking letter,” she says finally after her breathing evens out, and her heart rate returns to normal. “A white envelope and get this,” she says. “His wife, his real wife, not the other wife he kept on the side, the real true wife brought it to me.”
I let her vent, hating Eric more than is humanly possible. More than even Julia, and I hated her right down to the pit of my stomach. “I didn’t read it.”
“Do you want to read it?” I ask her as she turns in my arms to look at me. “No,” she says. “Not one piece of me needs those words in my life.”
“Then don’t.” I kiss her lips, and then her tear stained cheeks. “You get to do this on your own time, when you want to. Not when he wants.”
“Yes.” She leans into my shoulder, laying her head against it. “I’m going to do it on my time.”
I nod my head. “When you want to.” I smile at her as she closes her eyes, and I hold her, thinking about that white envelope and wondering if things will still be the same between us when she opens it. I sit out there holding her while she processes whatever it is she needs to process.
“Do you want to get pizza tonight?” she asks me. “We could grab Mila and eat it there.” She looks at me.
“Yeah, you want to bring Blake?” I ask, knowing he won’t be visiting for long. No matter what she is going through, she still needs to spend time with him.
“Yeah,” she answers as she gets on her knees, facing me. “I’m happy.” Her declaration makes me smile.
“I’m happy too.” I grab her face and kiss her. She lets go to stand up and holds her hand out for me to take as she tries to pull me up. I laugh at her while she grunts. I finally stand up, linking our fingers together, and we walk back to her house. “I will see you soon.” I kiss her nose. “Call you when I get Mila.”
“I’ll meet you there,” she tells me as she turns and walks up the stairs to the house.
I pick up the phone and see I have about fifteen missed calls from Crystal, so I press her number. “What the fuck is wrong with you two? Why can’t you carry phones?”
“Because they don’t want you to disturb them,” I hear Gabe in the background while Crystal hisses at him.
“Mrs. Henderson is waiting for you to treat her hang nail. I’m assuming you can do that without a nurse,” she hisses. “What happened to Hailey?” she asks me.
“I think it’s best for her to tell you.” I’m not going to break the trust I have with her. “I’m going to get Mila and then we are meeting for dinner at D’Amore.”
“Oh, I want pizza. I’m coming too. What time?” she asks.
“I have no idea. Probably around six.”
“Perfect. I’m off by then, so save me a place.”
“Me too,” Gabe yells from the background.
“You aren’t invited.”
“My cousin is going, so I can go to the restaurant if I want, Crys. It’s a public place.”
“Whatever, but you aren’t sitting with us. Maybe you can meet another date?”
“Oh my god, I dated her in fucking high school,” he counters.
“Okay, are you guys done?” I ask the bickering duo.
“I’m not talking to him. I’ll be there. See you at six,” she finally says then disconnects. I shake my head, thinking of the dysfunction that must be going on at that clinic.
I pull up to the house, and when I walk in, I hear Mila giggle. “I’m home,” I yell, so she turns and runs to me.
“Poppa.” She kisses my cheek. “We make cookies.”
“Did you?” I ask her, smiling at Jessica.
“We did, and I ate some cookie dough,” she whispers. “It’s a secret, so don’t say anything.” I laugh, setting her down to run back and finish the cookie she was eating before I walked in.
“We are going to grab some pizza tonight,” I tell her as I grab the mail on the table. “Would you like that?”
“Hmm.” She moans out between her bites of cookie.
Jessica leaves right before six, at the same time as Mila and I make our way to D’Amore. I texted Hailey, telling her I would see her at six. She responded with a kiss emoji.
As we finally walk into D’Amore, my eyes are scanning everyone when I see Hailey wave her hand at me. “Look, Hailey is here,” Mila says when we walk toward her.
“Hey there, Princess Mila.” She smiles at her, and I nod to her brother, Blake, who is sitting in front of her. “Mila, this is my brother, Blake. Blake, this is the coolest four-year-old, Princess Mila.”
Blake smiles at Mila. “Nice to meet you, your highness.” He bows his head as Mila laughs and asks for crayons.
“I’m not driving you home. I hope you know.” I hear Crystal’s voice when she walks in. Looking around, she spots us.
“You have to drive me home,” Gabe says while he follows her.
“Hey there,” Crystal says, sitting down next to Mila and kissing her cheek. “Hello, Princess. Blake.”
“What happened to you?” I ask Gabe when he pulls out the chair next to me and sits.
“Someone sliced my brand-new tires again,” he says while he raises his hand to flag down the waitress. “Can I have two beers please?” he asks, then looks around the table. “Anyone else want anything?” Shrugging, he says, “That’s it.”
Love Series (Complete Series) Page 16