Why the fuck was she asking him? Brandy was her friend, not his, and Kevin seemed like a nice enough guy, but it wasn’t like they were going to start hanging together anytime soon. “Why?”
“You guys got stuck together while Brandy and I were consoling Jilly.”
“What was that all about anyway?” Ah, dodged the bullet. Artfully.
“Oh.” Leaning closer, Nicki whispered, “She got cold feet.”
Really? But Nathan Carpenter was such a nice guy. Not. Sean had never liked the man, but it wasn’t like he was marrying the douchebag. Coming from an upper middle-class Winchester family, Carpenter thought he was the best thing since cold beer—but he was just another stupid rich kid, and Sean imagined he wasn’t much better now. While Sean didn’t know much about Jillian, he suspected she was closer to being good people, considering she’d been one of Nicki’s best friends as long as Sean could remember. Carpenter, though? Sean would have run away fast, had he been Jillian.
Sean managed to keep all that shit in his head where it belonged—because today was supposed to be a celebration.
But, more than that, he’d promised.
“So how did you manage to talk her into going through with it?”
“We didn’t, really. We just listened to her and she decided on her own that she wanted to marry him. And why not? They’ve been living together for years. This was all just a formality.”
“That’s good.” Whether it was or not, it wasn’t really his business. As his shop teacher in high school used to always say, “Not my monkeys, not my circus,” and Sean kind of felt the same way about all this. He was here as support, a friend of a friend only. Nothing about what was happening here really mattered to him.
Besides all that, he knew Jillian didn’t care for him. It all came down to one thing and one thing only. She was a little princess living in an ivory tower, and Sean was a lowly peasant deigning to mingle with her court. Maybe when they’d been younger, Jillian had exerted some sort of control over Nicki, but she and Sean had hit it off long ago thanks to high school theater—and, in that space, they’d discovered that no one gave a shit which side of the tracks you were from, because it was all illusion there anyway. They’d spent months creating a make-believe world onstage that the audience could get lost in for an hour or two. When you could make an entire world out of paint and cloth and an array of lights, who cared where you went home for dinner?
Sean really didn’t care what Jillian thought. Long ago, he’d mastered the art of not giving a shit and staying true to himself. His solid friendships with guys like Jesse and Travis had helped. And once Sean had found his passion, engines and motorcycles, the rest of the world faded into the background.
Injustice, though, made him keep one boot solidly in the real world.
But Nicki had taken his blow-off answer as a way to keep talking. “Yeah. I mean, if she really didn’t love him and really thought it wasn’t gonna work, we would have supported her, too. I’m not sure what she was thinking, but I would have supported her either way.”
As Nicki used a pair of tongs to put a baked potato on her plate, she stopped talking, and Sean thought that was that. But as she moved down the line, she continued. “They’ve been planning this wedding for, like, a year, and Jillian’s parents paid for it. I think they took out a second mortgage or something for it. I’m not sure.”
“Why’d her parents pay for it when they’d been living together?”
“They’re really old-fashioned. They didn’t want them living together, so I think they were thrilled when Jilly started talking about getting married. Maybe that felt obligated. I don’t know. But that added to her feeling all kinds of guilty and maybe that played into it? And I think she was just having normal doubts that anybody might: What if there’s someone else out there? This is my whole life. You know, that kind of thing.”
Sean kept his mouth shut, but this was a big part of why he felt like weddings were so fucking antiquated.
If Nicki said yes, would he marry her?
Probably. Even now back in the friend zone, he thought of her that way. But he’d never say that shit.
He did say, “Yeah, but isn’t that the kind of shit you should start thinking about in the planning phase?”
With a shrug, Nicki moved down the line, waiting patiently while a server swapped out the empty lettuce bowl with a new one full of various shades of greens and flickers of orange and purple, thanks to the slivers of carrot and cabbage thrown in. Tilting her head toward Sean, she whispered, “She also suspected that he might have been cheating on her. So I get it. I wouldn’t want to marry someone who was sleeping around on me—especially right before we were supposed to tie the knot. But she didn’t have any actual evidence, just a gut feeling, you know. And then she thought maybe that was just her way of questioning if that was what she wanted to do.
“I think what tipped the scales was when we asked her how she’d feel a year from now either way—alone or with Nathan. After she thought about it, she said she loves Nathan and wants to spend her life with him. So now…here we are and the deed’s done.” As she poured dressing on her salad, she asked, “So can I get you to dance with me later? Or do you just mosh?”
Jesus. Nicki could talk him into anything. No, Sean didn’t dance, but if it was an excuse to hold this woman close with no questions asked, he’d do it in a heartbeat. Still, he had a reputation to uphold. “Ask me after I’ve had a couple more beers.”
Moving toward the end of the buffet, Nicki used tongs to set a piece of crusty bread on her plate. “Also, mister, don’t think I didn’t miss you avoiding the question I asked you earlier.”
Sean frowned, now grabbing his own piece of bread. “What question?”
“I asked what you thought of Brandy’s new boyfriend. Didn’t you guys talk while we were with Jilly?”
“What do you want me to say, Nicki? That we’re gonna start hanging together every weekend?”
Flashing him a smile, she started walking toward their table—but slowly so they could continue their private conversation. “I just wondered what you thought.”
“He seems like a nice enough guy—but we got nothing in common.”
“Well…I wasn’t sure what to think at first, either. But he must be a good guy if he’s going to a wedding with Brandy this early in their relationship. I don’t think most guys would do that.”
As they approached their table, Sean couldn’t help himself. “Yeah, and your boyfriend skipped out. What does that say about him?”
Nicki set her plate down and glared at him. He’d been half-joking, but she was taking it as a full-on insult. “He had to work. I told you that.”
Sean hadn’t wanted to piss Nicki off. Instead, he’d hoped that she would have been viewing him in the light she’d been viewing Kevin. And had she not reacted by getting angry, he might not have pressed the matter.
But she had and Sean couldn’t help himself. “I call bullshit.”
“How would you even know?” Her lips twisted in a tight ball, and Sean braced for an ass-chewing. Honestly, he loved it when she got a little miffed, because it made her all the more beautiful, the way her cheeks would turn a little pinker, the way her eyes got darker and bigger. But she was past that point.
She was completely pissed off. And she raced out of the ballroom, running like Cinderella as the clock chimed midnight.
Chapter Five
Holy shit. Bad enough that he had upset Nicki, but he didn’t like the scowl coming from Brandy, either. As she started to get up to console her friend, Sean said, “I got this.”
Why the fuck did he always have to be a complete dick? While her boyfriend might have been a cowardly asshole, Nicki didn’t deserve to be made to feel bad, especially on a day that had put a bit of an emotional toll on her, not to mention Sean had agreed to do this.
But as he looked around the large corridor on that side of the Sedgwick Hotel, he couldn’t see her anywhere. As he passed the doors to t
he restrooms, he knew she might be in the women’s, but he thought he’d keep looking. It was also possible she’d gone outside, but he hadn’t spotted her through the windowed doors, so he didn’t think so—at least not at the back of the hotel anyway.
Nearing the lobby, he spied her standing next to the giant water fountain by the front window. She wasn’t staring into the water, though, nor was she on her phone. Instead, she was looking outside, watching the traffic drive by on the main highway that passed through Winchester. “Nicki?”
As she turned, he couldn’t ignore the frown on her face. Why he’d expected to find her crying, he didn’t know. Actually, that wasn’t true. His last three girlfriends had turned on the water works every time he’d so much as asked a question. It seemed to be the typical response from the women he dated.
But, of course, Nicki wasn’t like any of them—which was probably why he’d never been able to get over her.
She wasn’t crying—but she was not happy, either.
“Can’t I just have a few minutes to myself, Sean?”
“If that’s what you really want. I just…wanted to apologize for being an asshole today. I’ve let this whole experience put me in a shitty mood and I’ve been taking it out on you. So I’m sorry.”
Her face softened then, again not what he was used to. Michelle, the girl who’d just left him, held the nastiest grudges. A month ago, she’d gone without speaking to him for two whole days. “It’s okay. I probably shouldn’t have asked you to come with me in the first place.”
“No,” he said, getting closer now. “I’m glad you did.” The smile she flashed at him made it all worth it. “And I promise no more complaining. Okay?”
“And I promise we won’t stay all night. I just want to watch the toast, eat some cake, watch the girls fight over the bouquet, and do some dancing.”
“Is that all?”
The way she playfully slapped his upper arm made him grin—and then he stuck out his elbow. She took his arm as they made their way back to the ballroom, with Sean planning to down a couple more beers by the end of the meal.
And keep his mouth shut for the rest of the night.
* * *
Two down, several to go if he was lucky. Whether he was mellowing out from the alcohol or having made Nicki halfway happy, he wasn’t sure—but he wasn’t about to discount the beer’s effects. A little while later, Sean said, “I’m going to get another. You want anything from the bar?”
“Not right now. They’ll be handing out champagne in a little bit.”
While Sean had never turned his nose up to anything with a proof, his particular poison was beer, followed by whiskey. Champagne put him in the mind of the elites who ran the town, the bastards he was beginning to despise.
Finally, while Sean was drinking his new bottle of beer, the bride and groom were having their first dance on the floor, effectively opening up the rest of the evening. Again, Sean was reminded of all the silly rituals involved in a wedding and now understood why planners were not only in demand but made bank. “Isn’t that so romantic?” Brandy whispered rather loudly to Nicki.
“For sure. She’s absolutely gorgeous.”
Goddamn. At their heart, maybe women were all alike, and Sean wondered if he’d be able to get through life without having to endure some shit like this.
He’d just have to find someone who felt like he did.
Before that, he’d have to get over Nicki—and that yearning was turning out to be a hell of a mountain to get over.
Several people wound around the room near the edge of the tables, maybe to see the bride and groom more closely. But a couple of young women passing by paused and one of them, a girl with black hair and heavy makeup, turned and whispered, “Sean Ramsey? Is that you?” Looking up, he tried to figure out who it was in the dim light, but she wasn’t familiar at all. Then she frowned. “You don’t remember me.”
“I’m sorry.” He’d been saying that too much today.
“I brought you with me to prom. I was a junior and you were a sophomore.”
Oh, fuck, yes. How the hell could he have not recognized the woman he’d lost his virginity to? And prom, that was another stupid ritual he’d drunk his way through. At least that evening had had a happy ending. With Nicki, Sean was playing the long game—but it was one that he was likely to lose.
“Oh, yeah. Brenda, how the hell are you?”
“Fantastic now that I see you’re here. Save me a dance, wouldja?”
Sean nodded as she walked away and he couldn’t help but notice Nicki’s expression out of his peripheral vision.
Could she actually be jealous?
Glancing at her, he said, “First dance is yours, though.”
“Lucky me.” Unfortunately, Sean couldn’t tell if her tone was sarcastic or sincere.
When the bride and groom were done with their dances, including the one with Jillian’s parents, Nicki didn’t hesitate and grabbed his hand, pulling him to the floor. Unfortunately, it was a fast dance to some insipid pop tune he’d never heard before. But he just held Nicki’s hand while she twirled around until the next song started—a slow one where he was able to pull her close enough to smell the perfume behind her ears.
All he had to do now was stop himself from getting a hard-on, because there could be no pretending it hadn’t happened. Her words, though, kept him grounded in reality. “I don’t disagree with you that there are a lot of silly traditions in weddings, but they symbolize something. They represent the biggest commitment of our lives, and maybe that’s why we make such a big fucking deal about them.”
“Maybe.”
She pulled back a bit so she could look him in the eyes. Her brown irises had always made him think of the earth, of nature, of beauty, and he often found himself getting lost in them. “I just hope, when all’s said and done, that you and I can find someone to make us feel like that, like what Jilly and Nate look like, romantic and in love.”
How quickly Nicki seemed to have forgotten that her girlfriend had been ready to call off the wedding earlier in the day—but, after promising to behave, he wasn’t about to point that shit out. Instead, he planned to enjoy having this woman up close to him for just a few more moments. The way she smelled, the way she felt he was going to emblazon in his memory for all time.
And maybe they’d have another chance someday…if they could just get the fucking timing right.
Too soon, the dance was over and they were heading back to the table. Although Nicki liked hard rock music like he did, he also knew she had a penchant for dancing, so unless he wanted to be on the floor with her all night, he’d have to accept that other men were going to ask her to dance—and he’d have to be okay with it. It wasn’t like he had any claim to her anyway.
He was not her boyfriend.
And that was what he’d expected, invitations to dance, when a couple of guys approached their table, obviously eyeing Nicki. As they both sat in the empty chairs left by Brandy and Kevin, though, Sean sensed something entirely different.
“Nicki Sosebee, yeah?”
As usual, she turned her head, smiling widely. She might not ever know it or admit it out loud, but she seemed to Sean to be a people person, not only good with them, but enjoying their company, drawing them to her infectious personality. “That’s me.” Because she liked others so much, it prevented her from spotting the bad ones immediately.
To Sean, though, these guys were obvious. They could have had tattoos on their foreheads that labeled them assholes or douchebags and they wouldn’t have stood out any more to him. The one guy said, “You don’t even remember me, do you?”
Tilting her head and furrowing her brow, Nicki seemed to assess the one brown-haired guy. “You seem kind of familiar.”
“I should. You’ve had your tongue in my mouth.”
Now her eyes finally showed that she was beginning to sense that maybe these guys’ intentions weren’t so good. But she smiled again, her voice polite. “I’m reall
y sorry. Who are you?”
“Name’s Jake.”
“So what can I do for you?”
Fuck this shit. Sean had been quiet long enough. “She’s not dancing with you if that’s what you’re asking.”
Even sitting, the guy managed to noticeably puff out his chest. “And who are you?”
“Name’s Sean Ramsey.”
“I suppose you need to know what your girlfriend’s been up to. A couple years ago, Nicki and me were making out at a party. She practically attacked me.”
Nicki’s jaw slackened but it was like the guy had rendered her speechless—until she spat out, “He’s not my boyfriend. We’re good friends.”
Sean was itching for a fight. “I don’t see the problem here. What guy wouldn’t want a beautiful woman like Nicki?”
“The issue’s not a guy. I’m talking about my girlfriend. She broke up with me after that.”
“How’s that my problem?” Nicki said, standing. “Did you tell me you had a girlfriend?”
The way this Jake guy was fuming gave away that he had not. “It doesn’t matter. You were bein’ all seductive, draping yourself all over me. How could I not fall for that?”
Sean was done. “Man, you got ten seconds to get the fuck out of here.” Glancing at the man’s silent friend, he said, “And I got no beef with you, but you’re guilty by association, so I suggest you both hit the road.”
Jake leered at Nicki. “How about this? You make it up to me. Since you guys aren’t together, then you spend the rest of tonight with me, and we’ll call it even.” Leaning over, he got close to Nicki’s face. “How’s that sound?”
“I warned you,” Sean said, standing quickly. “You leave right now or—”
“Or what?”
“Or I’ll beat the shit out of you.”
“At a wedding?”
Nicki stood in an instant, grabbing Sean at the elbow. “Don’t ruin Jillian’s special day.” Turning to Jake, also upright, she asked, “What is wrong with you?”
Sean understood, but he wasn’t going to take his eyes off this menace. “Let’s take this outside.” When the guy frowned, nodded, and backed toward the doors to the ballroom, Sean knew it was on and he followed, refraining from cracking his knuckles.
Bad Ass (Nicki Sosebee #14) Page 3