by Marie Force
School ended yesterday, and today we’re on the Quantum jet about to land in Los Angeles, our new home. If there’s one person among our new friends I’m looking forward to seeing more than anyone else, well, that’s my little secret.
I don’t know what you’d call the flirtation or whatever it is between Kristian and me, but it’s something, and I can’t wait to find out if it might turn into something more. It’s been years since I’ve dated anyone or been interested in a man, and I’ve never been attracted to anyone the way I am to him. He makes me feel so special by listening to every word I say like they’re the most important words he’s ever heard. The last time we were in LA, when we all stayed at his place in the city to avoid the reporters who’d swarmed around a scandal in Jasper’s family, Kristian and I sat on his patio and talked until four in the morning while everyone else was asleep.
With wavy dark hair, intense cobalt-blue eyes and sexy dimples that appear only when he’s truly happy or amused, he’s so gorgeous that I often find myself staring at him like a lovesick puppy.
I’m dying to see him again, to find out if the attraction is still there and to see what might come of it. I’ll never admit that he was one of the primary reasons I wanted to move here, but I’d be lying if I tried to deny it.
“How much longer, Mom?” Logan’s question interrupts my delightful thoughts of Kristian Bowen.
I check the time on my phone. “About twenty minutes.”
The kids are so excited to see our new home, to get settled and to spend the summer in LA. I’m starting my job at Quantum in two weeks, part-time for the summer while the kids attend camp and then full-time when they go back to school. I can’t believe I’m going to work for the company that produced Camouflage and counts among its partners Flynn Godfrey, Hayden Roth and Marlowe Sloane. Talk about being starstruck! And I haven’t even mentioned the other two Quantum partners, Jasper Autry and Kristian Bowen.
Kristian Bowen.
His name makes me want to sigh in anticipation, knowing I’m going to see him again today. If I were to let out my inner high school girl, I’d be writing his name next to mine on the cocktail napkin the steward gave me with the glass of wine I ordered and then drawing hearts around our names. But I’m not a high school girl. I’m a mature woman of thirty-two with two incredible kids who are my whole world and a brand-new life in a dynamic city to look forward to.
With maybe a brand-new man, too. God, I hope so. He’s so beautiful and sexy and intense, and I haven’t had sex since the dinosaurs were roaming the earth, or at least that’s how it seems. The last time was when I was pregnant with Maddie, who just finished kindergarten. There are dry spells and then there’s my life, a barren sexless wasteland. I’m ready to get my groove on again, and Kristian Bowen is the one I want.
He’s the only one I want.
But does he want me like that? Or are we stuck firmly in the dreaded friend zone? Why in the world would a man like him who could have—literally—any woman in the world want to be with one who’s fighting an ongoing battle with breast cancer while raising two young kids alone? There’s baggage and then there’s my two-ton trunk, a heavy load for me, let alone a man who can have any woman he wants.
Ugh. Do yourself a big favor, girlfriend, and don’t put the proverbial cart in front of the sexy horse. He’s apt to run for his life away from you and all your luggage.
Before I can let that depressing thought derail my excitement, a crackling sound comes from the speaker system ahead of the pilot’s voice. “Hello from the cockpit, Gifford family.”
The kids bounce in their seats, their excitement palpable.
“We’ve begun our final descent into LAX, and we’ll have you on the ground in about ten minutes. We ask you to fasten your seat belts and prepare for arrival. Welcome home, folks.”
The pilot’s sweet words of welcome bring tears to my eyes. After what I’ve been through, I’m so grateful for every day and determined to make this move the best thing that’s ever happened to my little family. My primary concern is making sure the kids are happy and healthy. They will miss their friends in New York, but they’re excited about moving to California, especially Logan, who missed Natalie terribly after she left in the middle of the school year.
A few minutes later, the plane descends through the clouds to reveal the sprawling city of Los Angeles below. “Look, guys.” I point to the window. “There it is.”
“Move your head,” Logan says to his sister. “I want to see, too.” She insisted he sit with her, and he allowed her to have the window seat, even though he wanted it for himself. He’s so good to Maddie and often stepped up to help with her when I was too sick to care for them. He’s far too mature for his nine years, and I hope this move will allow him to be a kid again and not a kid with a sick mother and a little sister who needs him more than she should.
They cheer when the plane touches down with a thud and the roar of the thrusters, which they’re used to from our earlier flights to LA.
After taxiing for quite a few minutes, the plane finally comes to a stop.
I supervise the kids, making sure they have everything and ushering them to the door, which opens right onto a tarmac where Natalie waits with her movie star husband, who is now our friend. Pinch me, please. Flynn Godfrey is my friend! It’s taken some practice to get used to saying that sentence, but he’s made it easy by being so amazing from the first time I met him. He’s done so much to help make this move happen, and I’ll never be able to repay him for his astonishing generosity. It’s easy to forget just how beautiful they both are until I’m with them, and then it hits me all over again that my lovely, wonderful friend Natalie hit the husband jackpot with her gorgeous, generous husband. They both have dark hair, and while her eyes are green, his are brown. I can’t imagine how stunning their future children will be. It’ll be unfair to the rest of the average-looking world.
Logan and Maddie run to Natalie, who embraces them both at the same time while Flynn looks on, grinning widely. He and Natalie are so in love that being around them gives me hope for myself. Maybe someday I’ll find someone who looks at me the way he looks at her. I’m mildly disappointed to realize that Kristian didn’t come to the airport, but then I check myself. Why would he come to the airport? I’m Natalie’s friend, after all.
Flynn hugs and kisses me. “Welcome to LA.”
“Thank you so much for everything. The plane, the movers, all of it.”
“Anything for you.”
He’ll do anything for Natalie—and her friends—and has proven that many times in the months since we met.
They load us and our suitcases into a silver Mercedes SUV, one of sixty cars that Flynn owns. Natalie mentioned that once, and I thought she was kidding until she told me she was dead serious. Sixty cars! It boggles the mind. But like he says, he could be addicted to worse things than cars.
On the way to our new home in Venice Beach, Natalie and Flynn point out landmarks and other points of interest, none of it registering with me because all I can think about is whether Kristian will be there when we get to the house. Now that I’m finally here, I want to get to know him better. I want to find out if the attraction that burned so brightly between us is still there or if it will fade now that we’re going to see each other more often.
I hope that doesn’t happen. I’ll be so disappointed. I’ve allowed my crush on him to get totally out of control, blowing it up in my mind into a romance with epic potential. In reality, he was probably being nice to me because he feels sorry for the single mom with cancer.
I’m appalled by the tears that fill my eyes. I stare out the window at the passing scenery as I try to get myself under control. With everything else I’ve got to deal with, including a new home, a new job and two kids who’ve been uprooted from the only life they’ve ever known, I simply don’t have time to obsess about a man.
But then we arrive in Venice Beach and pull up to the bungalow that now belongs to us, thanks to Flynn�
�s sister Ellie. The street is lined with some of the nicest cars I’ve ever seen, including a black Range Rover, a gray Jaguar, a Porsche and something else I don’t recognize, but it looks expensive. I begin to feel hopeful again. Does one of those fancy cars belong to Kristian? I have no idea what he drives, but it’s probably something amazing.
In the driveway is a black Audi sedan that looks new. The porch is decked out in balloons, and the yard is full of friends waiting to greet us. My heart pounds with excitement as I take in the familiar faces—Marlowe, Leah, Emmett, Sebastian, Addie, Hayden, Ellie and Jasper.
Everyone is here. Everyone, except Kristian.
Chapter 2
My friends are simply unbelievable. I start crying the minute I step out of the car, and I don’t stop for what feels like an hour as they hug me and the kids, show me what they’ve already done to make the house our home and present me with keys to the car in the driveway, a company car being made available to me to use as I see fit.
It’s too much—and not enough, because Kristian isn’t here, and that makes what should be one of the best days of my life a little less than it would’ve been if he’d been part of it. I want to ask about him, but I don’t dare show my hand where he’s concerned. If it were just me and Nat, I might ask her, but I can’t ask about him with his closest friends and business partners all around me.
Ellie left me the grill on the back deck, and Hayden fires it up to cook burgers under Addie’s supervision. We eat on the deck, enjoying the warm Southern California sunshine, sitting on the gorgeous teak furniture that Ellie has also left for me after moving in with Jasper.
“I have palm trees in my backyard,” I proclaim during a quiet moment, making them laugh. “Sorry, but it’s the little things.”
“You have lemon and orange trees, too,” Ellie says, pointing them out to me.
“Do you eat the fruit?”
“Absolutely.”
“That is amazing—and don’t laugh at me. I’m still getting used to the fact that I have a yard, let alone trees bearing fruit that I can actually eat.”
“It’s a big culture shock to move here from New York,” Natalie said. “It took me a while to get used to having a yard, too.”
“So where’s Kris?” Flynn asks the others.
The question has me sitting up straighter, hardly breathing as I wait to hear what they say.
“No fucking clue,” Hayden says. “He hasn’t been answering calls or texts.”
“Do we know he’s okay?” Flynn asks, seeming alarmed.
“We assume he is,” Hayden says, “until we hear otherwise.”
Now I’m worried that something has happened to him. Was he in an accident or… No, stop. He’s a grown man with a life of his own. Maybe he had other plans.
“It’s weird because he said he would be here today,” Marlowe says.
Okay, well… What does that mean? Did he think it over and decide he didn’t want to be part of my welcoming committee after all? That would totally suck. I feel like a balloon that’s been hit by a pin. Deflated.
“I’ll track him down later,” Jasper says, seeming unconcerned.
From what I’ve observed in the past, Jasper is Kristian’s closest friend. If anyone would know whether we should be worried or where to look for him, it’s Jasper.
“He probably left his phone somewhere again,” Addie says.
I want to ask if he loses his phone frequently, but again, I can’t bring myself to voice the question because I don’t feel I have a right to ask about him. I want to know everything about him, and that isn’t creepy or anything. Needing a moment to get myself together, I check on the kids, who are running around in their new yard, and stand to begin cleaning the paper plates from the table.
“Let me help,” Natalie says, gathering bowls of potato chips and tossed salad and following me inside.
“Do I have you to thank for fully outfitting my kitchen with things like plastic wrap?” I ask her as I use the wrap to cover the bowls.
“I might’ve had something to do with that.”
I can tell I take her by surprise with a tight hug. “You have to be the best friend anyone has ever had. Thank you for all you and Flynn did. I love it all, especially the white hydrangeas.”
She hugs me back. “We’re so glad you’re finally here. I couldn’t wait for today.”
“What you all have done here… You’ve made everything so easy for me and the kids.”
“We love you,” she says, her sweet, simple words moving me to tears.
“I love you, too. All of you. I can’t believe I’m hosting a cookout for Flynn Godfrey, Hayden Roth, Marlowe Sloane and their closest friends.” I laugh as I wipe tears from my cheeks.
“In a few months, you’ll forget they’re celebrities, and every time you see them, they’ll just be your friends.”
“How is this my life now?”
“We have Fluff to thank for all of it,” she says, referring to her fourteen-year-old dog, who broke free of her on a walk last winter and ended up biting Flynn. The rest, as they say, became the stuff of Hollywood films when Flynn the movie star fell for Natalie the school teacher.
“Thank goodness for Fluff.”
“Leah and I say that every day.” Natalie’s former New York roommate has also relocated to LA to work as Marlowe’s assistant.
“How is Fluff getting along with Flynn these days?”
“They’re BFFs. He calls her his daughter, and she hasn’t bitten him in months. I think they’ve turned the corner.”
“That’s so cute.”
“She’s a holy terror, but she’s our holy terror.”
I glance at the deck, where everyone else is enjoying drinks and the sun. “Could I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“Is it weird that Kristian didn’t come today? I sort of thought, you know…” I’m so embarrassed and anxious that my body feels like it’s been plugged into a heater.
“That he had a thing for you?”
Her blunt comment makes me even more uncomfortably warm. “I wouldn’t go that far.”
“Why not? We all saw it. He could barely take his eyes off you from the minute you met at my wedding and every time you’ve seen each other since.”
“I’ve seen him exactly four times.”
“Okay… All four times, he was obviously into you. So where is he today? As far as I know, he was looking forward to you getting here as much as I was.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because he confirmed the date with me—several times. The car in the driveway? He did that. And last weekend, when we were all at Hayden and Addie’s, he asked if everyone was planning to be here today to help you get settled.”
Hearing he did all that has me more confused than ever. “Maybe he changed his mind. About being interested.” I glance at Natalie, feeling oddly vulnerable. “In me.”
Natalie shakes her head. “No way. No one changes their mind that quickly. Something must’ve come up. I’m sure it’s nothing. You’ll see him soon.”
“That would be nice. I’ve been looking forward to seeing him again.”
“I have a good feeling about you two,” she says with the big smile we’ve seen so much of since she fell for Flynn.
“Don’t jinx me.” The emotions of the day catch up to me all at once, and when I wobble ever so slightly, Natalie notices. I hate that I still haven’t completely recovered my mojo after being ill. Among other things, I suffer from lingering fatigue that regularly creeps up on me, taste buds that don’t work the way they used to, scars and anxiety over whether the cancer will come back. I’ve heard that last one lets up somewhat over time, but I still wake in the middle of the night in a cold sweat from the fear of dying and leaving my kids without a mother.
Natalie puts her arm around me and leads me to the sofa I sent from New York. It’s old but still in decent shape even after two kids did their best to ruin it. “You need to take it easy, Aileen.
You’re still recovering.”
“I know. We’ve had lots of excitement today and over the last couple of weeks. I thought the kids would spontaneously combust waiting for today to get here.”
“Well, now you’re here, and you’re going to take it easy. Tomorrow you guys are coming over for lunch and a swim and then staying for the birthday party we’re having for Mo.”
“Oh. We are?” All I hear in her kind invite is another possible chance to see Kristian. He wouldn’t blow off Marlowe’s birthday party, would he?
“You are. If you want to, of course.”
“We want to. Thanks for the invite.” As I smooth a hand over my skirt, which is wrinkled after the long day of travel, I try not to think about how I wore this outfit with Kristian in mind, hoping it’d make me look young and healthy and appealing to him. Despite the wonderful outpouring from our new friends, I feel oddly let down.
“Is everything all right?”
“Yes! This has been such an incredible day.” The last thing I want is for Natalie or any of my other new friends to think I’m disappointed after all they did to make us feel so welcome.
“It’s okay to admit that you’re bummed he’s not here.”
“Is it?”
“Sure, it is.”
“I built it up in my mind to be something it’s not. We’ve only seen each other a few times, talked a little.” But those conversations were some of the most meaningful I’ve had with anyone. I’ve thought about that night on his balcony so many times over the last few months. That one night made me want to move here so I could live closer to him. Foolish, stupid, ridiculous. You’d think someone who’s been so totally burned by a man in the past would be so much smarter and at least a tiny bit wary. “I feel silly.”