Wake

by Amanda Hocking

“Oy!” Bernie shouted.

  Harper shielded her eyes from the bright sunlight that managed to break through the foliage, but she couldn’t see Bernie anywhere.

  “Bernie?” Brian asked. He climbed off the boat first, onto the dock, then helped his daughter do the same.

  “I thought that was you coming ’round there,” Bernie said, and Harper finally spotted him trotting down the path and waving his hand. “I wasn’t expecting company today, but it’s a nice surprise. ”

  “I tried calling,” Brian said, “but the number didn’t work. Do you still have a phone out here?”

  Bernie waved it off. “The storms were always taking it out, so I just got rid of it. ”

  “We aren’t intruding, are we?” Harper asked as she and her father walked down the dock to meet Bernie. “We don’t want to bother you. ”

  “Bother? Ha,” Bernie teased in his cockney English accent, “it’s never a bother getting a visit from a pretty girl such as yourself. ” He winked at her then, making Harper laugh. “And your old man ain’t so bad, either. ”

  “So how have things been, Bernie?” Brian asked.

  “Can’t complain, though I still do. ” Bernie turned around to start leading them from the dock and gestured widely to the trees around them. “Come on. I’ll show you what I’ve done with the place. Things have changed since you’ve been here last. ”

  Nothing looked all that different to Harper as she followed Bernie up the worn path toward his house. Everything still smelled of pine and creeping Charlie, just the way she remembered it. As Bernie and her father talked about all the things they’d been up to over the last year or so, Harper wandered more slowly behind them, admiring the place from her childhood.

  Since she’d been about twelve or so—the age at which her father started feeling safer about leaving her home alone in charge of Gemma—they’d come out to stay with Bernie less and less, but before that, it had been a home away from home.

  Harper was certain that if she looked, she’d find the fort she and Gemma had built out of branches and old wood in the back, behind Bernie’s cabin. They’d secured it with nails and wood, and Bernie had promised to leave it for them always.

  When they reached his cabin, she noted that it looked more worn than she remembered it, but it held up remarkably well for its age. Vines covered one side, with Bernie trimming them only around the windows.

  As Bernie led them around to the back of the cabin, Harper finally discovered what the “big changes” were—he’d started a vegetable garden. A giant rosebush, covered in large violet blossoms, grew in the center. It was something his wife had planted just before she’d died, and until the vegetable garden, it was the only plant he really took care of.

  “Wow, Bernie,” Brian said, a little stunned at the sheer numbers of tomatoes, green peppers, cucumbers, carrots, radishes, and lettuce that Bernie had in his yard. The garden plot was nearly the size of his cabin.

  “It’s a lot, isn’t it?” Bernie smiled proudly. “I sell them at the farmers’ market. It helps supplement the ol’ retirement. You know how extravagant my life can be. ”

  “It is impressive,” Brian admitted, “but if you’re strapped for cash, you know—”

  Bernie held up his hand, stopping him before he could say more. “I know you’ve got two girls to take care of, and I’ve never taken charity a day in my life. ”

  “I know. ” Brian nodded. “But if you do ever need anything, you can always come to me. ”

  “Bah. ” Bernie shook his head, then stepped into his garden, rubbing his hands together. “How would you like a rutabaga?”

  While Brian and Bernie discussed what kinds of vegetables Brian would want to take home, Harper headed out toward the trees, hoping to get a glimpse of her old fort. Coming out here was like stepping into Terabithia.

  Some of her best childhood memories involved her and Gemma running through those trees, usually because they were being chased by one make-believe monster or another. Almost always Gemma would be the one who turned around and faced the monster.

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  Harper would be the one to invent the games, explaining to Gemma in vivid detail what the hideous ogre might look like, and that the ogre wanted two young girls to grind up to make his bread.

  But Gemma would always be the one who defeated the ogre, either with a stick that was really a magic sword or by throwing stones at it. She would only run for so long before she would stop and fight back.

  As Harper passed through the trees, a breeze picked up, mixing the scent of the ocean with the pines. It also blew up a feather that had been hidden among the trees. When it drifted by Harper, she bent over and picked it up.

  The feather was astonishingly large—several inches in width and well over two feet in length. It was a deep black color straight through, even the rachis running down the center.

  “Ah, you found a feather!” Bernie said from behind her, and she turned back to look at him.

  “You know what this is from?” Harper asked, holding it up so he could better see the peculiar feather.

  “From a bloody big bird. ” Bernie carefully made his way through his garden over to her. “But I don’t know what kind of bird it is. It’s nothing like I’ve ever seen. ”

  “What does it look like?” Harper asked.

  “I haven’t been able to get a real good look at it, but I can assure you, it’s huge. ” He held his arms out as wide as he could to demonstrate. “The wingspan is twice as wide when I’ve seen it make a pass over the cabin. The sun was setting, and at first I thought it was plane, but the wings were flapping, and a feather came off. ”

  “I didn’t know we had birds that big out here,” Brian said, watching Bernie as he explained what he’d seen. “That sounds like a condor, maybe. ”

  “My eyesight’s not what it once was, I’ll admit that, but even the noises they make don’t sound right,” Bernie said. “I’ve heard them around the island, making all kinds of weird cackling sounds. At first I thought the seagulls had learned how to laugh, but then I realized that didn’t make much sense. ”

  “Maybe you’ve discovered some new species of bird,” Brian said with a smile. “They could name it Bernie’s Bird after you. ”

  “I dare to dream. ” Bernie laughed.

  He went back to picking vegetables in the garden, the feather forgotten, and Harper went over to help him. By the time they’d finished, Bernie’d had her fill a wheelbarrow full of produce he could take to the farmers’ market.

  Brian and Harper stayed on a bit longer, sitting in the backyard and reminiscing about the past. Eventually, though, Bernie seemed to tire, so they excused themselves. Bernie walked them as far as the dock, and when they got on the boat, he stood waving at them for a long time after.

  TWENTY-TWO

  Confessions

  As soon as Alex had told her that Luke was dead, Gemma had known the sirens had something to do with it. The first hour she’d spent with Alex after he’d told her, it had been hard for her to keep from vomiting. It had to have been Luke’s blood that she’d drunk, the blood of a mortal that Penn had used in the potion to turn Gemma into a siren.

  When Alex explained to her where they’d found the body, it only confirmed her fears. That was why Thea had insisted they get out of there when the police started searching the woods by the bay.

  Alex didn’t have the same suspicions as Gemma, of course. He tried to speculate on what had happened to Luke and the other boys, but he couldn’t even fathom it. Over and over, he’d stare, mystified, and ask, “Why would anyone want to do that to another human being?”

  Gemma would just shake her head, because she truly didn’t know the answer. Her only hunch was that it hadn’t been another human that had done it—it had been a monster. She still didn’t understand completely what a siren was, but without a doubt, they were evil.

  The one good thing about comforting Ale
x was that it didn’t give her much time to think about herself or worry whether or not she was evil. All her energy went into making sure Alex felt better and making him as happy as she could.

  Other than when he’d initially told her about Luke’s death, Alex didn’t cry. Most of the time he just sat there, his jaw tense, his eyes faraway. Gemma stayed with him until very late on Friday and all day Saturday.

  Late Saturday afternoon, his head was in her lap, and she was rubbing his back when he whispered, “I can’t stop seeing it. Every time I close my eyes, I see it. ”

  “What?” Gemma asked. “What do you see?”

  Other than telling her that he’d found the bodies, Alex actually hadn’t said much about it. He refused to tell her any details, instead simply shaking his head whenever she pressed him for more information. Gemma didn’t even know how Luke had died or what had happened to him.

  “I can’t. ” His voice was tight. “I can’t even put it into words. It was most horrific thing I’ve ever seen. ”

  Alex looked up at her then, his eyes searching her face. Brushing the hair back from her face, he forced a thin smile.

  “You don’t need to know,” he told her. “You don’t need to have that image burned in your mind. You are far too sweet to have to deal with something that awful. ”

  “I’m not. ”

  “You are,” he insisted. “And that’s part of the reason why I…” He licked his lips and stared into her eyes. “It’s why I’m falling for you. ”

  Gemma leaned over and kissed him then, partially to keep herself from crying. It was what she’d wanted, what she’d been hoping for, but … she couldn’t have it now. She didn’t deserve it.

  The evil that had traumatized Alex like this—Gemma was a part of that. Maybe not completely yet, but she was becoming a monster.

  A few times, she had thought of telling Harper or Alex about the sirens. Before she’d found out that was what she was, Gemma had been on the brink of telling Harper about the strange things going on with her.

  Now, with the murders and knowing that she was somehow connected to them, Gemma could never tell Harper or Alex or her father.

  But there was one person she might be able to talk to, one person whose grasp on reality had become so tenuous, she would never doubt Gemma’s story—her mother.

  *   *   *

  “How are things going with Alex?” Harper asked as she drove them both to see their mother on Sunday morning.

  “Do you mean in our relationship, or how he’s holding up in general?” Gemma asked. She was slouched low in the passenger seat, staring through her dark sunglasses out the window.

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  “Um, both. ” Harper glanced over at her, as if surprised that her sister had said that much.

  They’d barely spoken on the entire twenty-minute ride to Briar Ridge, despite Harper’s many attempts at conversation. Now that they were almost to the group home, Gemma started to respond with whole sentences.

  “Good, considering. On both counts. ” Gemma tugged at her ears, trying to alleviate the watersong. It only seemed to get louder, no matter what she tried, and it was maddening.

  “Well, I’m glad that you came with me to see Mom today,” Harper said. “I know it was hard for you to break away from Alex, but Mom loves to see you. ”

  “About that. ” Gemma turned to her sister as they pulled in front of the group home. “I want to see Mom by myself today. ”

  “What do you mean?” Harper turned off the car and narrowed her eyes at Gemma.

  “I need to talk to her by myself. ”

  “Why? About what?”

  “If I wanted to tell you about it, I wouldn’t need to see Mom alone,” Gemma pointed out.

  “Well…” Harper sighed and looked out the front window. “Why did you wait until now to tell me that? Why didn’t you just come here by yourself?”

  “My car’s broken, and I knew you’d never let me go anywhere by myself,” Gemma said. “At least not in your car. I’m actually a little surprised you let me walk over to Alex’s house by myself. ”

  “Don’t do that. ” Harper shook her head. “Don’t make me sound like the bad guy. You’re the one who has been running around doing God knows what with those awful girls! It’s your fault we don’t trust you. ”

  “Harper. ” Gemma groaned and hit her head on the back of the car seat. “I never said it wasn’t my fault. ”

  “You’re acting totally bananas lately,” Harper went on, as if she hadn’t heard a thing that Gemma had said. “And there’s a serial killer on the loose on top of everything. What else am I supposed to do? Just let you run wild?”

  “God! You’re not my mom, Harper!” Gemma snapped.

  “And she is?” Harper pointed to the group home next to them.

  Gemma looked at her like she was an idiot. “Um, yeah, she is. ”

  “Maybe she was, and through no fault of her own, she had to give that up. But who’s been raising you the past nine years? Who helps you with your homework? Who worries sick about you all night when you don’t come home, and then takes care of you when you’re hungover and beat up?” Harper demanded.

  “I never asked you to do any of that!” Gemma yelled back. “I never asked for you to take care of me!”

  “I know you didn’t!” Harper shouted angrily, as if that made some kind of point. She let out a shaky breath, and when she spoke again, her voice was much softer. “How come you can tell her what’s going on with you, and not me?”

  Gemma stared down at her lap, pulling at the frayed ends of her shorts, and didn’t say anything. There was no way she could answer the question without giving something up. She couldn’t let Harper know what she’d become.

  “Fine. ” Harper sat back in her seat and turned the car battery on, so she could flip on the radio. “Go on. Tell Mom I say hi. I’ll be out here, waiting. ”

  “Thank you,” Gemma said quietly and got out of the car.

  Often Nathalie would rush out to greet them when she saw their car, but she didn’t do that today. That was probably a bad sign, but Gemma needed to talk to someone, and her mother was the only person who would understand.

  When Gemma got to the front door, she could already hear the yelling from the inside. Bracing herself, she knocked on the door and waited.

  “You never let me do anything!” Nathalie was shouting in the background when one of the staff opened the door. “This is a damn prison!”

  “Oh, hi, Gemma. ” Becky smiled wanly at her. Becky wasn’t that much older than Harper, but she’d been working at the group home the past two years, so she’d gotten pretty familiar with the girls and their mother. “I didn’t think you were coming this weekend, since you missed yesterday. ”

  “How is she doing today?” Gemma asked, even though she could hear how her mother was doing. From the other room, Nathalie swore and banged something loudly.

  “Not so great. But maybe you can cheer her up. ” Becky stepped back so Gemma could come inside. “Nathalie, your daughter is here. Maybe you should calm down so you can talk to her. ”

  “I don’t want to talk to her!” Nathalie snarled.

  Gemma flinched, then shook it off. She took off her sunglasses and walked farther into the house. She found Nathalie in the dining room, standing next to the table and glaring at the staff on the other side. Nathalie’s stance was wide and her eyes were wild, making her look like an animal about to pounce.

  “Nathalie,” Becky said, keeping her tone soothing. “Your daughter drove all this way to see you. You should at least say hi to her. ”

  “Hi, Mom. ” Gemma waved when Nathalie glanced over at her.

  “Gemma, get me out of here,” Nathalie said, returning her angry glare to the staff opposite her. She grabbed the chair in front of her and shook it so it would bang loudly on the floor. “Get me out of here!”

  “Nathalie!” Becky moved cl
oser to her, holding her hands up, palms out. “If you want to visit with your daughter, then you need to calm down. This behavior is not tolerated, and you know it. ”

  Nathalie stepped back from the chair and crossed her arms in front of her chest. Her eyes darted around the room, and she seemed unable to focus on anything as she thought through her next move.

  “Fine. ” She nodded once. “Gemma, let’s go to my room. ”

  Nathalie practically ran to her room, and Gemma followed her. Becky was telling Nathalie that she still had to behave, or her daughter would have to leave. As soon as they were in her room, Nathalie slammed the bedroom door shut.

  “Bitch,” Nathalie muttered at the closed door.

  Ordinarily when Gemma visited, her mom’s room was pretty clean. Not because Nathalie was clean or organized, but because the staff would get on her if it was too messy. Today it was a total disaster area. Clothes, CDs, jewelry—everything was thrown about her room. Her stereo was smashed in a corner, and her beloved Justin Bieber poster was torn in half.

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  “Mom, what happened today?” Gemma asked.

  “You have to get me out of here. ” Nathalie grabbed a pink backpack from a pile in the middle of the floor, then flew around the room, grabbing clothes and junk to fill it with. “You have a car, right?”

  “My car’s broken. ” She toyed with the sunglasses in her hands and watched her mother trying to shove a Velcro Reebok into her bag, even though the bag was already overflowing. “Mom, I can’t take you away from here. ”

  Nathalie instantly stopped what she was doing, half crouched on the floor with the shoe and bag still in her hands, and glared up at her daughter. “Then why did you come here, if you’re not taking me away? Did you come here just to rub it in my face?”

  “Rub what in your face?” Gemma shook her head. “Mom, I visit you every week. I just come to see you and talk with you because I miss you and love you. We usually come on Saturdays, but there’s been a lot going on at home. ”

  “So I have to stay here?” Nathalie straightened up and dropped her bag and shoe on the floor. “For how long?”

  “I don’t know. But this is where you live. ”

  “But they don’t let me do anything!” Nathalie whined.

  “Everywhere you live has rules,” Gemma tried to explain to her. “You’ll never be allowed to do whatever you want. Nobody can. ”

  “Well, that stinks. ” She looked around the room in disgust and kicked a teddy bear that Gemma had gotten her for Mother’s Day.

  “Listen, Mom, can I talk to you?” Gemma asked.

  “I guess. ” Nathalie sighed and went over to the bed so she could flop down on it. “If I can’t leave, we might as well talk. ”

  “Thanks. ” Gemma sat down next to her. “I need your advice. ”

  “About what?” Nathalie looked up at her, intrigued that someone was coming to her for help.

  “There’s a lot of stuff going on right now, and it’s all so crazy. ” She chewed her lip, then looked at Nathalie. “Do you believe in monsters?”