The desire to be held and comforted was so strong in my chest, I almost gave in. But I bit my lip and resisted.
Using his handkerchief once more, I asked softly, “Do you miss her?”
He nodded, running his knuckles slowly down my arm, lifting some of the heaviness from my heart. Then his eyes began to glisten with tears. “Very much.”
“Oh, Kolton.” It broke my heart to see him so sad.
“I’m all right.” He looked away from me. “I’m sorry you have to see me like this.”
I shook my head. “Don’t be sorry. I can’t imagine how you must be feeling.” More than ever, I wanted to embrace him. But something held me back.
“I just wish I could have done something,” Kolton told me. “At least I wish I had spent more time with her while I had the chance.” He blinked back the tears, slowly shaking his head.
I placed my hand on his forearm and turned my shoulders to face him. Looking up at him, I whispered, “You didn’t know. You couldn’t have. None of us could have imagined this.”
He gave me a sad, lopsided grin, gazing into my eyes. “I guess we need to trust that none of this would have happened unless God allowed it.” His statement surprised me, and for a moment I found myself lost in thought, wondering if it was true.
“Kolton.” His mother walked toward us. I quickly removed my hand from his arm, and though I kept my eyes on his mother, I could feel Kolton still looking down at me.
Still several yards away, she spotted him and said, “There you are, Kolton.”
“Mother?”
So the woman he was with at the funeral was indeed his mother. She was beautiful, like I had imagined her to be, but she too looked very sad.
“Can we return home now?” she asked him.
Kolton seemed to hesitate slightly, then he answered, “Yes, Mother. Give me one moment.”
She smiled gently and nodded, then turned and walked away.
Kolton looked back at me. “I have to escort my mother home.”
I nodded, trying to smile at him. I really didn’t want him to leave. I didn’t want him to leave me here, alone.
“Will you be all right?” he asked.
“Yes. I’ll go find my brother. Thank you.”
He took my hand in his and ran his thumb over my knuckles. “I will see you again soon.” He squeezed my hand and turned to walk away.
“Sir Kolton,” I called after him.
He looked back over his shoulder.
“I just want to tell you that … that you are the kindest man I’ve ever met.”
He smiled as though pleased and brushed his wavy hair from his face.
As I watched him walk away, my hand felt cold and bare without his holding it. I realized I was still holding his handkerchief in my other hand. Should I go after him to give it back? Although I thought it, my feet stayed planted in the ground beneath the tree.
I stood there for a while, lost in thought, numb with pain. The villagers began to return to their homes for the evening, and the sun was setting. I held Kolton’s handkerchief in my hand, but I didn’t feel warm anymore.
Walking out from the shade and into the waning sunlight, I headed for the castle. Jack must have returned to the castle, unsure of where I was. So I walked back on my own.
As I passed by Jack’s chamber on the way to my own, his door opened and he stepped out. “Hello, Scar.” He smiled sympathetically, seeing the tear stains on my face. My brother hugged me gently. “I’m sorry.”
“It isn’t just Britta,” I said, my voice cracking.
Jack pulled away. “What do you mean?”
Tears began to fill my eyes again. I guess I hadn’t cried out all my tears with Kolton.
“Did Cordel upset you again?” Jack looked alarmed by my tears.
“Cordel? Cordel despises me. You are leaving soon to go away with him, and now Britta is dead, and so is Duke Stephon.” I felt myself trembling. I wasn’t even sure my words made sense, but I ached to tell Jack how I was feeling, and I knew he understood.
Realizing that I was still clutching Kolton’s blue handkerchief, I used it to wipe my cheeks.
“I know,” Jack whispered. “I understand. It’s all right to be angry, and it’s all right to cry. But no matter how dreadful or terrifying this situation may be, I believe it’s all in God’s hands.”
“Sir Kolton said something like that tonight. He said Britta and Eric’s accident wouldn’t have happened unless God allowed it.”
“Your friend is right. Eric and Britta are in God’s hands … and so are you.” Jack smiled and nudged my shoulder.
“I must keep reminding myself of that. I think I have too much of Cordel in me. I want to do everything on my own and refuse help from anyone.”
“Believe it or not, I do see a bit of Cordel in you. Cordel’s good side,” he assured me. “I see his determination and fight in your eyes.”
That comment was actually flattering.
Jack walked me to my chamber and said goodnight. I didn’t have an appetite, so I changed for bed.
Unable to sleep, I lay awake, wishing Kolton hadn’t left for Rhineland. Wishing he was there with me, to hold me and comfort me. We were both grieving the loss of dear Britta; couldn’t we suffer together and keep each other company?
I drifted in and out of a light sleep all night. Each time I came back to reality, the funeral replayed fresh in my mind. Grieving faces. Black clothing. Death lingering in the air.
Never had I felt more alone.
CHAPTER 24
KOLTON
I left Scarlett standing beneath the trees, and went to find my mother. My heart clenched as I remembered Scarlett’s tear stained face. Her beautiful face, with her soft, full, tempting lips and wet, dark eyelashes. She tried to be strong, I could tell, but it was clear she was taking Britta’s loss very hard.
I wanted to marry her. It was probably too soon to say that, but I felt like I knew her so well already. She was transparent and wasn’t afraid to tell me how she was feeling. I was thankful I was able to comfort her while she was crying, but I had wanted to do more than just stroke her back and touch her hand. The sight of her crying wrenched my heart, and I had to hold myself back from pulling her into my arms and embracing her and kissing her until we both felt restored. I had to keep reminding myself I had only met her a few weeks ago and her social status was much higher than mine. And I couldn’t let my emotions after Britta’s death lead me into doing something unwise.
But how could I show her I was a God-fearing man who wouldn’t even dream of hurting any maiden — especially her — when all I wanted to do when I was around her was kiss her?
I found my mother standing alone in the plaza, just outside the church where the funeral was. As I reached her, someone called out.
“Sir Kolton Reinhart. I thought I’d find you here.”
I turned to see the duke of Darrenberg mounted before me. He had a knight on each side and wore medal armor that made him appear taller and broader.
“Your Grace.” I dropped to one knee.
“You may rise.” The duke dismounted and came to stand before my mother and me. “Lady Katheryn,” he addressed her as she curtsied. Then he looked me in the eye. “I’m very sorry to hear about your cousin and her husband. May God rest their souls.”
“Thank you, Your Grace.”
“I’ve been thinking about you since the day you saved my daughter’s life, Sir Kolton.” His tone was businesslike. “You seem like a respectable man, and I would like to offer you a job.”
“A job?”
“I could use a man like you working for me. I have lots of business that must be taken care of in the next few weeks, and need some help. You’d have a place to stay at the castle, and your meals would all be taken care of. You would work with my top knights and my own sons.”
I couldn’t believe the duke, Scarlett’s father, was offering me a job. I was flattered. Could this be my escape from Rhineland? From my father?<
br />
“Your Grace, I’m honored. When would you like me to start?”
“Should you accept, I’d like you to start now.”
I’d get to live in Darrenberg, in the same castle as Lady Scarlett. And Duke William seemed like a noble and righteous man. To work for him and to live in Darrenberg would be more than ideal.
When I looked to my mother, she smiled encouragingly.
“I would like to accept your offer. But I must first escort my mother home.”
“Of course. You take care of your mother, then come back and you can begin.”
I smiled. “I will return as soon as I can.”
“It’s settled then. I shall see you soon.” He turned and mounted his horse. Nodding to me and my mother, he rode off with his knights.
###
I slept rather late the next morning, but woke when Gabriele knocked on my door and brought in breakfast. I ate a hearty meal of eggs, meat, and bread. As soon as I finished, Jack entered my chamber.
“Good morning,” he said. “How are you doing?”
“Better than last night.” I tried to smile at him. “Thank you.”
Jack sat down in my chair, and I sat across from him on the edge of my bed. “I don’t mean be the bearer of more bad news, but I talked with Father this morning.”
Usually a bad sign. “Did he say when you and Cordel will leave for camp?”
After a moment, Jack nodded.
“When?”
He drew in a breath. “Tomorrow.”
“Oh, Jack.”
“I know. I’m not happy to be leaving either. But I will do what my father wishes.”
One thing I was certain of — Jack wasn’t as stubborn as me. He would do whatever it took to please our father. I, on the other hand … well, Father wasn’t often pleased with me.
“Have you gone to the church yet?” I asked.
“I went early this morning.”
I stood and began pulling dresses from my wardrobe. “I should go now.” I took a cranberry-colored dress out and went behind a dressing curtain, where Gabriele waited to help me.
After I dressed, I had her pull my hair back and tie it in a thin strip of leather at the nape of my neck, then she partially covered my hair with a gold net.
“I’m off now,” I told Jack. “Do you want to come?”
He shook his head. “No, thank you.” He then turned to Gabriele and asked her to bring him some food.
###
After I prayed for about a half an hour, I went to Malachi’s station.
“Hello,” he greeted me.
“Good morning. Jack informed me you are leaving with him and Cordel tomorrow.” I crossed my arms in front of my chest and raised my eyebrows.
“That is true,” said Malachi awkwardly.
“Well, I came to say goodbye, in case I don’t see you before you leave,” I explained.
“Goodbye, my lady. I wish you well while I’m gone.” He looked into my eyes, but he didn’t display any emotion.
“I thank you,” I replied. “The same to you. Goodbye.”
As I turned to walk away, I realized I would actually miss Sir Malachi. That surprised me. Honestly, I would miss them all — Jack, Cordel, Malachi, Jeremiah, and Brendon. I felt like I was being left behind, like they were moving on and leaving me back in Darrenberg to do nothing but study all day.
###
The next morning, I woke up early and looked out my window. Cordel, Jack, Malachi, Jeremiah, and Brendon, along with many other guards and knights, stood below. They all wore chainmail and looked to be collecting swords.
I quickly dressed and ran down to the courtyard. Jack smiled when he saw me, but Cordel scowled and said, “You shouldn’t be here, Scarlett. You could get hurt.”
“I am fine,” I protested.
But he motioned to Sir Jeremiah. “Take her back to my father.”
I glared at him angrily, but began to follow Jeremiah. My attention was caught by someone standing in the courtyard. Were my eyes deceiving me, or was that Sir Kolton? He stood talking with a knight, and he wore armor like the rest of the men.
I quickly crossed the courtyard, and Jeremiah followed. “Sir Kolton?”
His face lit up when he saw me. He stepped away from the knight and bowed. “Lady Scarlett.”
“I don’t believe it. What are you doing here?”
“Your father asked me to come. I arrived last night.”
“My father?” What did Father want with Kolton?
“He said he had work for me. He’s sending me with your brothers.”
What? He was sending him with Cordel and Jack? Why? I clenched my jaw, anger toward Father causing my blood to burn within my veins.
“Excuse me, Sir Kolton.” I turned toward the castle, brushing aggressively passed Jeremiah. I stormed through the corridors until I reached Father’s private study, and threw open the door without knocking.
“You’re sending Sir Kolton away?”
He sat at his desk, looking startled.
When he didn’t answer quick enough, I asked, “What do you want with him? Isn’t it enough to send off your own sons?”
He stood to his feet so he could look down at me instead of up, per usual. “Calm down, Scarlett.”
But that command only made me angrier.
“I asked Sir Kolton to come,” he continued. “He’s going to be working for me for a few weeks.”
My fists clenched. What was Father trying to do to me? Remove everyone I cared about from my life? Cordel and Jack was one thing, but Kolton?
A puzzled expression crossed Father’s face. “Why does this concern you, anyway?”
I looked him in the eye. “It doesn’t.” I left the room, letting the door slam shut behind me.
I didn’t see Kolton all day. Cordel kept him and the other men busy, and Malachi made sure I stayed far away from their equipment in the courtyard.
Father seemed uneasy and overwrought all day. He did nothing but pace and talk secretively with Cordel.
At the midday meal, I tried to go find Jack, but Cordel sent me back inside like earlier. So I sat in the Great Hall and ate. Malachi entered and sat beside me. “Did Lord Erguston tell you to come here?”
I nodded. “He says he doesn’t want me getting hurt with all their equipment.”
“Your brother is wise.”
I grimaced. “And over-protective, and coldhearted, and stubborn, and slightly tyrannical,” I finished his sentence.
He seemed amused. “That’s not all true.”
“Most of it is.”
I could tell by his expression that he agreed. “But your brother does care about you.”
“How do you know?”
“Oh, I know. He has been protective of his little sister since the day you were born. He may be a bit tyrannical, but Lord Erguston would never let anyone hurt you. Of that, I am certain.”
“Thank you, Malachi.” I smiled at him.
###
When it was almost evening, I wondered why they hadn’t left yet. I was standing in my chamber when all of a sudden, hundreds of men emerged from the woods and entered the village on horseback. A few dozen of them came into the courtyard, while the rest remained outside the courtyard walls.
Upon seeing this, I ran to the solar where Father was talking intently with Cordel.
“What is happening?” I cried. “Are we being attacked? Have you not seen the vast army that has entered Darrenberg?”
Cordel quickly turned and walked out without glancing at me.
“Scarlett … come here.” Father looked pale as he sat down.
“Father, what is it?” I was so anxious and confused, I could barely stand it.
He drew in a deep breath. “Listen to me. The army you see is Cordel’s army.”
“What are they doing here? I thought Cordel and Jack were going to the camp to train. Or to train the army.”
“Scarlett, someone has threatened Darrenberg. But do not be afraid. Your brot
her and his army will take care of everything. There is nothing for you to fear.”
I shook my head. “I still don’t understand. Who has threatened us?”
He closed his eyes, as though this conversation was painful. “It is nothing you need to be concerned with.”
“So, then, Cordel and Jack are not going to the camp?”
“I know not. They may, after they have eliminated our enemy. But I am uncertain of when they will return. You should not be asking any more questions.”
I walked to the window. Cordel spoke with one of the men from the army down in the courtyard. Jack and Kolton stood beside him.
It was no use trying to get answers out of my father anymore, so I turned and walked out of the solar. I knew without a doubt there was something he wasn’t telling me. He had seemed so troubled lately, so tense and restless. It made me fear that his, Cordel’s, and Jack’s lives may be in danger.
Several minutes later, I stood in the courtyard beside Father. The men were ready to leave. It was time to say goodbye. I didn’t know how long they would be gone, and apparently, neither did my father.
Jack approached us and hugged me first.
“I’ll miss you, Jack,” I said.
“I know,” Jack whispered, his chin on my head. I took a deep breath, trying to hold back my tears. My brother was trembling, and there was an edge to his voice that told me he was afraid of what lie ahead.
He pulled away. “I’ll see you soon. I promise.”
I nodded, a tear sliding down my cheek. “Goodbye, Jack.”
He hugged me once more. “Goodbye, Scar.” Then he turned to Father.
Sir Kolton had been talking with my father, and now his gaze fell on me. He stepped toward me, sadness in his eyes, and spoke gently. “It was good to see you again, my lady. I’m sorry it was so short.”
“I wish you didn’t have to go.”
Instead of smiling at my bold statement, his expression became penetrating. He looked into my eyes as though he was searching for something. The longer he looked at me that way, the harder my heart ached within my chest. Please, don’t go.
“We will return, Lady Scarlett. You have my word.”
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