by Jacie Lennon
What is wrong with you? Lusting after a man who is hurting.
I can’t help it though. I can’t turn off my hormones that are in full swing.
I spend a long time in the shower, hoping that by the time I get back in the bedroom, Mason will be passed out, asleep. But he’s not. His eyes are closed, but his fingers are drumming a beat on his bare chest.
God, he’s beautiful.
I remember those hands and how they caressed my body. How they felt, trailing a fire across my skin as he brought me high and then let me crash before taking me up again.
“Are you going to stand there, staring at me, or get in bed?” he says, jolting me.
His eyes didn’t open, and I don’t know how he knows I’ve been standing there. My stomach clenches as I chide myself for letting him in my bed. I couldn’t let him sleep on the couch though.
Pulling the covers back, I slide in next to him, careful not to touch. I don’t know why I bother being careful as he swiftly turns on his side and pulls me against his body. His strong arm wraps around my middle, and he tucks his face into the nape of my neck, planting a kiss right where my neck and shoulder meet. I wiggle as a feeling of pleasure shoots through me, and I realize he’s hard, his long shaft digging into my ass as we lie there. Neither of us makes the first move to acknowledge the desire coursing through our bodies in tandem.
“Mason?” I whisper, my eyes shut.
“Hmm?” His deep voice vibrates the small hairs on my skin, sending a new wave of goose bumps over me.
I clasp my hand through his before turning to look at him, our faces only a short space apart. I don’t say anything else as our eyes meet, and I see the longing in his. He needs this right now. He needs me right now. And at this moment, I need him.
He hums low in his throat as our lips meet. An animalistic part of him takes over as he goes from controlled to wild. His hands skate over every part of my body while he ravages my mouth. I don’t hold back either as want curls through me, centering itself between my legs where I feel wetness pooling. As if he can read my thoughts, his hand pushes my legs open, and he runs a finger through my slit. Bringing the finger up, he circles it around my nipple before he lowers his mouth to it, tasting me as he sucks and bites lightly.
Arching my back, I dig my fingernails into his arms as I pull him closer to me. I need him everywhere, covering every inch of my skin. He growls and pushes me on my back. Hooking a leg over me, he rises on his knees, staring down at me. Both of our chests rise and fall with hurried breaths before he slowly leans back down, his hand raking through my hair and gripping, pulling my head back to leave my neck exposed.
“God, you are beautiful,” he whispers in my ear before lowering his mouth to lightly nip my earlobe.
He shifts back, moving until he’s between my legs, and then he plants his lips on the soft skin right underneath my ear, sucking as he reaches down to spread my legs further apart. I moan as my hands find his ass, gripping and helping to guide his cock inside me. We both sigh once he’s seated, needing these feelings that have been building in both of us to find release.
“Mason,” I whisper urgently.
He lets go of my hair to sit back, and he pushes my legs back before he pounds into me. I writhe in pain and pleasure. The fullness he creates in me is almost too much for me to bear.
Our eyes connect, and with neither of us looking away, Mason lowers one hand to push down on the sensitive nub between us, sending me over the edge as I cup my breasts, pulling my nipples taut. His hooded eyes widen slightly as his nostrils flare.
“Fuck,” he roars before releasing inside me, his strong arms coming down on either side of my body as he holds himself suspended.
Both of our bodies glisten with sweat, and we slide together as he gingerly lowers himself down to take my bottom lip between his. He sucks gently before rising back up and looking at me again.
“Damn,” he says, a soft word this time.
This was different from the first time we’d had sex. The urgency of want then was replaced by the urgency of need now.
We stare at each other as we realize that this is bigger than both of us realized. The lines of our relationship are blurred, and I don’t think we can straighten them back out.
“Shit,” he says, quickly rolling to the side. “Did I hurt you? I didn’t mean to just collapse on top of you.” He stares at the ceiling before looking back at me.
“I’m fine. God, I’m better than fine. I needed this.” I break out in a grin, and his lips twitch.
“Missed me?” he jokes.
I roll my eyes. “I’ve missed your cock. The jury is still out on the man attached to it,” I say.
He chuckles. He surprises me by scooting closer and turning my body, pulling me back into him like we were lying when I first got in bed. His arm rests across my waist, and his hand draws circles around each of my nipples, skating back and forth in the dip between my breasts.
“Are we … cuddling?” I whisper.
His breath blows a few hairs across my cheek. “I hope so. If this isn’t cuddling, then I’ve been doing it wrong my whole life.”
“So, you’re telling me, you do this with all the ladies?” I joke.
“I can’t remember the last time I cuddled.” His voice trails off. “It was probably with my girlfriend in high school. The only long-term girlfriend I’ve ever had … if you consider six months and five days long-term.”
“You know the amount of time you were together, down to the day?” I ask. My eyes widen in surprise even though he can’t see my face right now.
“She was my first true love. Or so I thought. She was also Chuck Rogers’s, Steven Curtis’s, and Jonathan Pipes’s true love as well. It’s honestly amazing how she played four guys. It probably helped that we didn’t go to the same school together.”
“Did she break your heart?” I whisper.
“At the time, yes. I’m over it now,” he says, his hand continuing its lazy path across my skin.
“You haven’t dated since?”
“I’ve gone on dates, but I haven’t had an official girlfriend since then. I haven’t seen the need, to be honest. I never thought I wanted marriage … or kids,” he says the last part softly. “I’ve been young and dumb. And selfish. I’ve used women. I’m not proud of it, but I never really had to grow up. Not until now.” He goes quiet, and his fingers stop moving.
He pulls his arm from my waist as his hand hovers over my body. I can feel the war going on within him, and I reach up to grab his wrist. Shifting over onto my back, I bring his hand down and splay it across my lower stomach, resting my hand on top of his. We don’t talk as we both look at our joined hands, rising and falling with my breaths. He scoots his body closer, laying his head on my chest, and our breathing synchronizes as we relax, our bodies succumbing to the exhaustion from the day.
25
Jules
I wake up to the pressure of something on my stomach. My eyes aren’t even open before I realize I’d better get to the bathroom and fast. Throwing a hand over my mouth, I wiggle out from whatever has me pinned down before realizing halfway to the bathroom that it was Mason’s arm.
Mason stayed the night. Mason is still here.
After another bout of sickness, I slowly stand back up from where I was crouched over the toilet and run a hand across my mouth. This morning sickness—excuse me, all-day sickness—is for the birds.
There’s a slight knock before Mason’s head appears from around the doorway. “You okay?”
I nod and fill the glass on the counter with water, drinking a sip before clearing my throat. “Could you grab me the crackers out of the pantry?”
With a nod, he disappears down the hallway, and I quickly put toothpaste on my toothbrush and brush my teeth, getting rid of the nasty taste in my mouth.
I make my way back to the room to collapse on the bed. He sits down beside me, and my eyes appreciate the sight of his cut body, moving and making his muscles ripple
. I almost wish he hadn’t put his briefs on before coming in here. I reach for a cracker and pop it in my mouth before I take a finger and outline his abs. He watches me, his eyes tracking each of my movements before looking at me. We are almost like aliens, poking and prodding an unknown territory, not quite knowing how to act with each other. Not too long ago, our entire relationship existed in antagonizing each other, and it’s now morphed into some sort of enemies brought together by a common goal. To raise a child. I’m not sure when we went from dislike to like, but it’s a foreign feeling and one that is also strangely comfortable.
His hand comes up to brush hair back from my collarbone while I lie there—looking sexy, I’m sure—and chomp on crackers after heaving my guts up.
“Does this happen every day?” he asks, handing me another cracker from the pack.
“Yes, it’s a ton of fun,” I say, sarcasm evident in my tone.
He smiles. “Damn. I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
“It’s okay. Apparently, it’s common,” I say with a shrug.
We sit in silence again. My phone starts to ring on the table next to me, and both of our heads swivel to see the name.
Kyle.
Mason grabs my phone before I can get to it and answers. “What do you want, asshat?” he growls into the speaker.
I hear Kyle’s angry voice on the other side, saying something that I can’t make out.
“Quit calling Jules. She doesn’t want to be with you. If you don’t leave her alone, I’m going to call the cops.” Mason pauses a moment before speaking again, “I’m not joking. Leave her the fuck alone.”
He presses the End Call button and throws my phone on the bed. He calmly hands me another cracker, and I wait for him to tell me what Kyle said.
After a moment, he looks at me and shrugs. “What?”
“Aren’t you going to tell me what he wanted?”
“You know what he wants. You. And he can’t have you.”
“I understand you are worried, but I can handle myself,” I say, shrugging as he glares.
He runs a hand through his hair in frustration, rolling his eyes to the ceiling. “God, woman, you drive me crazy.”
He gets up and stalks out of the room. He looks like a caveman, and weirdly, it turns me on. I get up and follow him, wanting to continue this conversation. I’m a strong, independent woman, but part of me is enjoying his possessiveness.
“Hey, don’t walk away from me,” I say to his back.
He spins and stalks toward me, backing me up against the wall. He puts a hand on either side of my head, pinning me in. I rub my legs together, shocking myself by the excitement that is radiating through my body.
God, I’m getting off on this.
My nostrils flare, and his eyes narrow.
A smirk crosses his face, and he leans in, his lips next to my ear as he whispers, “Are you a big girl, Jules?”
My nipples peak through the threadbare T-shirt I’m wearing and brush against his chest. Nodding, I bite my lip as his teeth nip the sensitive part of my ear.
“You don’t need a man to take care of you, do you?” he whispers, lightly running a hand down the curve of my waist and then hooking it behind my thigh, pulling my leg up to rest beside his hip.
I shake my head, letting it fall back against the wall as his hand continues to caress my ass before landing between my legs, spreading me open.
“So, you don’t need me to touch you here?” He takes a finger and swipes it through the valley of my breasts, and his head lowers to kiss right where his finger was. “Or here?” he asks as he drops to his knees, his broad shoulders splitting me in two. He drapes one of my legs over his shoulder, and his tongue darts into my belly button. “What about here?” His thumb finds my clit, and he presses down as he tilts his head back to look at me. “Do you need me now, Jules?” He doesn’t wait for an answer as his mouth covers the inside of my leg, his tongue darting out to lick across my slit and in the crease of my other leg. He gently bites down around my pulsing nub before slightly sucking it in, the pressure sending me soaring.
Every one of my nerve endings is screaming, and I thrust one hand through his hair to keep his mouth right there. Right on that sensitive flesh that is cresting the mountain, about to plummet me into utter oblivion on the other side. He swirls his tongue around my clit, and my toes curl. I hook my other leg over his shoulder, pushing down at the sensations coursing through my body. My hormones have me on high alert, and the way he’s touching me and holding me set me off. His hands cup my ass, keeping me up so he can continue licking and sucking, his eyes fastened on my face as I stare down at him, our gazes burning. He moves one hand and inserts a finger inside, sending me over the edge.
“Fuck, Mason. Fuck, I’m coming,” I say, gritting my teeth. I lean my head back against the wall, breathing hard as my pussy clenches around his finger.
I’m not done coming down from my high before he stands, quickly turning me and plastering both of my hands to the wall, gripped in his. We stand like that for a moment, my back to his front and his cock in between the slit of my ass. It twitches, and I arch my back, pressing myself into him as he brings his hands to my waist. With one push, he’s seated deep inside me. I’m so slick with arousal that it’s not a struggle. One hand slaps my ass before he’s pumping into me, pulling me back into him with each thrust.
“Oh my God.”
“Fuck, Jules.”
Our moans mingle together in the air, melding with our ragged breaths. I reach behind me and hook a hand around his neck, pulling his head to mine and pressing our bodies together. He dips his head and nips my shoulder before sliding out and turning me, pulling me into his arms as he rests my back against the wall. I reach between us and guide him back into me, his arms wrapped around my legs, holding us together. My fingers grip his arms, the muscles beneath my palms moving in tandem with us.
His groans fill my ears and turn me on even more. I love that I do this to him. I love what he does to me. He leans his head down, his mouth finding the base of my neck, sucking and nipping at the sensitive skin there, and I shudder, feeling another orgasm already building.
“God, you’re beautiful,” he says.
Raising his head, he leans in to push his lips against mine. I open, letting his tongue roam as he continues to push in and out of me. Beads of sweat coat his forehead once I open my eyes. I’m helpless as I’m pushed into the wall each time his hips jut forward. I fucking love it.
We both cry out, our foreheads meeting as we finish together. An epic finale in this sexual chemistry that brings us together.
Damn these hormones and damn these feelings. This man has broken me somehow. My body craves his touch, and I was so wrong, so fucking wrong, when I said I didn’t need him.
“You want to stay with me for a bit?” I ask tentatively and smile when he nods.
We clean up and crash on the sofa, him lying down and me spread out on top of him. We turn on the TV, surfing the channels.
“Mason?” I ask, my head on his chest as I listen to the beat of his heart underneath my ear. I suddenly want to know everything about him, starting with his childhood. I think back to what Nick told me about his mom and decide to ask Mason for his version.
His chest rumbles as he grunts in response.
“What happened with your mom?” I listen as his heart speeds up, quicker and quicker, and I regret asking the question. I rise a little, bringing my arms underneath my chin so I can look at his face. “It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it,” I say hesitantly, giving him an out but hoping that he will open up a little to me.
“She and my dad left when I was three,” he says, a frown pulling his face down.
My chest aches for him.
“Nick?” I ask.
His dad told me that he wasn’t a great father, but I’m surprised he left Mason as a child.
“Yes. Grams raised me for most of my childhood before Dad got his shit together and came back to get me. H
e and Grams got in a huge fight about it until he proved to her that he was clean and could take care of me.”
“What about your mom?”
“I never saw her again.”
I gasp. I might only be a few weeks along, but the love and protection I feel for this child growing inside me causes me to question how someone could leave their child and not look back.
“Never? Do you know where she is?”
“She has been in contact with Dad. She wants to talk to me, make amends. But I haven’t made up my mind,” he says with a shrug. His finger is still flipping through channels; it’s almost like he’s not paying attention, and he just wants something to do with his hand.
“What’s holding you back?”
“I found out I have a brother. One she had a few years after me. He’s graduating high school this year.”
“Oh my God,” I say, slapping a hand over my mouth.
For someone who has had a relatively normal childhood, this story is hard to take in. I can’t imagine losing either of my parents, and then finding out I had a sibling when my parents couldn’t even stay with me is heartbreaking.
“Yeah. I might have left a hole in Dad’s office wall when I found out.”
“That’s where it came from?” I ask, my eyes wide.
“Yes. So, anyway, you can imagine my hesitation when she says she wants to talk to me, get to know me, try and be a mom again. She is one; she’s just not mine anymore. Grams has always been my mother figure, and now …” His voice trails off, and I feel the hitch in his chest as he tries to breathe in around the emotions.
“Oh, Mason, I’m so sorry.”
I lean up and brush his hair off his forehead, and his eyes connect with mine. They widen a moment as if he can’t figure out why I’m trying to comfort him before his hand moves and cups my ass.
“It’s okay. Nothing for you to worry about,” he says, but the smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes as he turns his head back to watch the TV.