Cassidy’s irritation flashed away as quickly as it had come. One of the Jarretts needed help? Why didn’t she know?
“Who?”
He shook his head. “It’s not for me to tell.”
Seriously? He wasn’t going to tell her. For the last five years, she had only stood by his family and pitched in at the ranch in every way imaginable to help the Jarretts. Cassidy had grown far closer to them than she had ever been with her own parents. Wade hadn’t been there for them. Wade had hurt them. But they trusted him—involved him—already.
And now they were keeping things from her.
Cassidy’s hands trembled. She straightened some paperwork on the counter to keep them busy. To keep Wade from noticing.
Their beloved Wade had returned and apparently that meant she could be iced out. Why bother with the ex-girlfriend when they had him?
Fear chased hurt through her head, down her spine. They churned into something ugly in her stomach.
She crossed her arms in an attempt to shield herself from the effect Wade had on her. “Were you the one who needed help? You haven’t been back two whole weeks but you’ve disappeared three full days. Where are you going?” Cassidy stepped closer. She lifted her chin. “If you are gambling again... I can’t, Wade. You can’t be a part of our lives if you’ve fallen into any of that stuff again.”
“Whoa.” He held up both hands and took a step back, creating space. “A little faith here.” He turned away from her, dug his hands into his hair and tugged on the strands. When he turned back to her, his hair was completely disheveled and charmingly distracting.
She tightened her crossed arms. Focus, Cassidy.
“Am I acting like I’m drunk or being chased down by goons for gaming debts?” He pressed a palm to his chest. “Come on, Cassidy. I’m working myself ragged out there and spending all my time with you guys and my family.” He held up a finger, stemming her words. “And I love it. I don’t want to be spending my time doing anything else. But it’s highly irritating to be constantly doubted after all that.”
“Mom. Dad.” Piper burst through the front door. “Shannon says we have to get a move on.” She ran back to the car, leaving the front door to Cassidy’s bungalow wide open.
Cassidy moved to follow her but Wade sidestepped, getting in her way. “We need to settle this before we head out. Do you honestly believe I’m still involved in those things?” he asked in a voice so raw a tsunami of regret flooded through her.
She met his leaf-green gaze. His eyes were bright and no worry creased his features.
“You’re clean,” she conceded. “By the looks of it, you’ve been clean for a long time.” She sighed. “I shouldn’t have said what I did. It just...came out.”
He nodded, once, tightly.
“Wade.” She caught his arm when he made a move to leave. “I’m sorry. Forgive me for saying that.”
Half the reason she had snapped at him was because she had missed him at supper the day Piper had her cast removed. And Cassidy had missed him most of today when she had found out he wasn’t at the ranch. She was beginning to seek out his face, expect his smile and listen for his tender words. He hadn’t been home long and yet Wade had already taken back the part of her heart that had always been his.
All of it.
Which terrified her. She couldn’t lose herself to Wade Jarrett again. Not without knowing he was going to put down roots at Red Dog Ranch for good. She couldn’t go through loving and losing him again. She wouldn’t.
He blew out a long stream of air as he shoved a hand through his hair. “It’s fine. I don’t have a good track record so it shouldn’t bother me so much when you think the worst.”
“But it does bother you.”
“I wish it wasn’t the initial conclusion jumped to. But what can I do?” He shrugged.
“I shouldn’t have said it.”
“I’m not that guy anymore, Cass. I don’t know how to make you believe that and maybe I just need to come to terms with the fact that people will always think the worst about me. But I’d like to change opinions if I can.” His gaze latched onto hers. “I’d do anything to change your opinion.”
“You are,” she whispered. “Every day. You are.”
Wade looked around her house, glancing toward the open front door. “If we don’t head out soon Shannon and Piper might take off without us.” He held out his hand. “Truce?”
She surprised herself by taking it.
And was even more surprised to find she didn’t want to let go.
* * *
As Wade inched the car out onto the road, he was sure everyone in it could hear his heart pounding. See the beads of sweat skating down his back.
That had been way too close. He’d almost told Cassidy. Almost blurted everything out when she was grilling him.
Oh, by the way, I have cancer, Cassidy.
That would have gone over great.
At the medical center yesterday, Wade’s doctor had confirmed his fears. Papillary carcinoma, he had called it. The most common kind of thyroid cancer—information that was supposed to be reassuring but shockingly hadn’t helped Wade sleep any better. The doctor had explained to him that it was usually a slow-growing kind, so he had mused that Wade must have had it for a while. There was a risk of this type of cancer moving into the lymph nodes though, so he had been urged to schedule the surgery right away. The team of specialists needed to get in there and remove anything that looked incorrect.
In eleven days, he would have a lobectomy.
Wade fought the urge to touch his neck.
If all went well, in eleven days, all the cancer would be removed from his body and he could move on. If healing went according to the doctor’s plans, he would never have to worry anyone besides Shannon. He would be able to attend Rhett’s wedding without anyone being the wiser.
Okay, the doctor explained he would have a scar and that the scar would be fairly visible in the beginning and then fade over time. But he hoped a good tie or high-collared shirt would be able to hide it. He would figure out something.
And if he ended up having to tell them, by then it would be behind him and something they could celebrate instead of worry about.
If all went according to plan.
All that mattered was Wade would be able to spare Cassidy any worry she would have had if she had known his diagnosis. By dealing with this on his own as much as he could, he wouldn’t be a burden to anyone. He had caused them all enough grief five years ago and any opportunity to save them from more he’d take. Especially for Cassidy, who had already admitted to being wrung out about his being back. She was starting to talk to him and he didn’t want to give her cause to pull away.
In the passenger seat, Cassidy fished a tube of lip balm out of the backpack she had insisted on stowing on her floorboard and handed it to Piper. Wade’s mouth went dry. Cassidy was the kindest, best person he had ever met. She thought of everyone’s needs and made sure everyone knew how much she cared about them in so many little ways. She had always made him want to be a better man. To live up to the person she believed he could be.
He loved her. He had never stopped loving Cassidy Danvers and he never would.
Acknowledging that didn’t change the fact that Cassidy could do a million times better than the guy who had let her down when she had needed him the most. It didn’t change the fact that he was a total mess and still needed to focus on fixing his relationships with his family.
Shannon was warming up to him. She had trusted him enough to let him come with her to file for a protective order at the courthouse today. Last night after the cops had photographed Shannon’s bruises, they had arrested Cord on a domestic assault charge but he had bonded out quickly this morning before they had been able to get the protective order approved. However, the people at the courthouse had assured them he would be se
rved with notice soon, not that a piece of paper would keep a man like Cord away, but at least they could call the cops if he did show up and there would be enforceable action beyond them just asking him to stay away. They would have to tell the rest of the family soon, but Shannon had made him promise to allow her to be the one to say something.
As far as Wade’s family went, Rhett would take more time. And Boone hadn’t returned any of his calls, although Shannon assured Wade that Boone was really busy between studying for his classes at divinity school and his family. They had exchanged a couple emails where Boone wrote that Wade was forgiven, but Wade would have actually liked to talk to him before checking off their relationship as on the right track again.
Shannon hooked her arm on the edge of his seat and leaned forward to speak with him and Cassidy. “I hope these clouds clear out before sunset.” She pointed at the gray puffs obscuring the sun. “After waiting in line for the vouchers this morning, I’d be disappointed if we don’t get a great sunset.”
Enchanted Rock was a large granite dome that looked like an Easter egg lying on its side in the middle of Texas. A popular tourist attraction in the area, the park often reached capacity by ten in the morning. At that point, they handed out vouchers for people to return later in the day. Shannon and Wade had waited in a ninety-minute line that morning to get their return voucher, but that had been Wade’s plan all along. Growing up, his father had taken the family hiking all over Texas but Wade had the best memories of watching sunsets from the top of Enchanted Rock. He had wanted Piper and Cassidy to witness it too.
“We’ll still have fun, even if we don’t get to see a sunset,” Cassidy said.
Piper tapped on the window. “Maybe it’ll storm real bad.”
Wade chuckled over Piper’s delivery. “It’s not supposed to rain at all. I checked the weather earlier. They said there’s a zero percent chance.”
“But,” Piper dragged out the word. “Even if there was, storms are okay.”
“You’re right,” Cassidy said. “We don’t need to be afraid of storms. It’s just not very fun to be stuck in one outside. Especially on granite because it gets really slippery.”
“Remember the tornado?” Piper whispered.
Cassidy’s caught Wade’s eyes. Her brow creased.
In the spring, a tornado had torn a path through Red Dog Ranch and Piper had been on the property when it happened. He had heard how Cassidy and Piper had huddled in the basement of the dining hall with a bunch of guests who had come for an Easter event at the ranch. Tightness corded around Wade’s chest. His sweet daughter had been in danger and he hadn’t been there to help her or hold her or keep her safe.
Cassidy’s gaze was pleading.
He hadn’t been able to help her then, but he could step in and be there for Piper now.
Wade rolled his shoulders. “You don’t have to worry, sweetheart. There aren’t any tornadoes in the forecast. These clouds should be out of our way soon. I wouldn’t take you out if I hadn’t checked to make sure it was safe first.”
“Listen to me.” Piper’s little voice was firm. “I’m not worried. I have to tell you something.”
Cassidy twisted in her chair. “What did you want to tell us? Go ahead, Piper.”
“Uncle Rhett told me he knew he loved Macy because of the tornado. So that’s not bad. What if the storm hadn’t come? He still wouldn’t know.”
Shannon set her hand on Piper’s arm. “He would have figured it out eventually. Rhett is stubborn, but I have confidence he would have realized he loved Macy without a storm.”
Piper jerked her head back and forth, braids flying. “The storm made Uncle Rhett like the ranch too. Before, he didn’t. Remember?” Her voice rose. She pointed at Shannon. “And ever since the storm, you’ve been home more too. I like that. So that’s a good thing. I think the storm made a lot of good things happen.”
Shannon swiped at her eyes. “Thanks, sweet lady. I’m glad I’m home more too.”
“But the big thing.” Piper held up her arms, fingers splayed. “The really big, really important thing is that the storm brought my dad home.”
Cassidy’s hand immediately snaked out to clasp one of his.
Before, Wade had been a disappointment to his family; he didn’t know how to take being considered someone’s blessing.
Wade swallowed, coughed, cleared his throat. “I love you so much. You know that, don’t you, Piper?”
“I know, Daddy. To the moon.”
“And back,” Wade said. In a quick motion, Wade flipped his hand over so he could lace his fingers with Cassidy’s. She didn’t pull away.
His daughter nodded. “People think storms are the bad guys. But know what? A lot of bad things happened like the cabins and the office and all those cars flipped over but the tornado made our lives better. I mean, after the storm. Like, bigger parts of our lives than all the stuff, right?”
“You’re right, Piper. That’s all really good to remember. I don’t think I had made those connections,” Cassidy said.
“That’s why I named my cat Cloudstorm. So I can remember about the storms.” She tapped her forehead. “Maybe they are scary, but I have to be brave because they can be good after they’re done.”
“I thought you named him that because he’s gray and white like clouds?” Shannon’s smile said she was teasing.
Piper shrugged. “Well, that too.” Her eyes zeroed in on Wade. “I’m glad you’re back, Dad.”
“I’m glad too.”
Wade pulled into the Enchanted Rock parking lot. The pink dome of the rock formation loomed ahead of them.
“How come you left?” Piper’s brow scrunched up. “Where were you?”
Wade had known these questions would come at some point. He had been prepared to explain his actions to Cassidy but telling Piper was a different matter. She was so young—would she understand? He needed to speak in terms she could grasp. At least, he hoped he could.
Cassidy squeezed his hand. “Right now’s probably not the best time, Piper.”
He found a parking spot, parked the car but left the keys in so the air could run. He unbuckled his seat belt and turned so he could look at Piper.
“It’s fine.” Wade rubbed his hand over the back of his neck. “I—ah—I wasn’t a good person, when I was younger.”
“Like how I’m young?” Piper pointed at herself.
“No, I was older than you. When I was a teenager. Do you know what a teenager is?”
“Yeah, Dad.” She rolled her eyes. He wasn’t aware almost-five-year-olds knew to roll their eyes, but apparently they did. “A big kid.”
“Right.” He nodded. “When I was a big kid, I wasn’t a good person.”
“Mommy liked you.” Piper looked to Cassidy. “She said you were the best. She told me that all the time.”
Don’t glance at Cassidy.
Don’t glance at Cassidy.
He didn’t want to make things awkward for either of them, so he kept his gaze squarely on Piper. “Well, your mommy had a way of seeing who I could be and she cared about that person.”
“False.” Cassidy’s whisper was hoarse. Wade looked her way to find she was looking right at him. “I cared about your daddy as-is. That means, I didn’t ask him or expect him to be anyone else. He did do bad things, but that doesn’t make someone bad. It means they made mistakes, and haven’t we all?” She finally broke eye contact to address their daughter. “Do you understand?”
“Like when I broke your favorite vase and hid it under the sink.” Piper’s shoulders dropped as she trained her attention on her hands. “I wasn’t a bad person. But it was a bad thing to do.”
“Exactly.”
“What bad thing did you do, Dad?”
How did he explain underage drinking and gambling to a little kid? How did he explain addiction and what it
could turn a person into, even when they were trying to fight it? Piper couldn’t comprehend how years’ worth of feeling as if he didn’t measure up to his siblings could be forgotten as long as he had tossed himself fully into one of his preferred vices. He prayed she would never have cause to understand the paths he had walked and what he had forfeited in the name of the next high.
Wade shifted in his seat. Despite the air-conditioning blasting through the cabin, he felt hot. He tugged at his shirt collar. “I was doing things I shouldn’t have been doing and not living in a way that made God happy. God wasn’t my friend yet back then. A lot of my choices made my family sad. They made your mom sad too.”
Cassidy opened her mouth to interject, but Wade shook his head.
“Some friends and I were going on a trip. I had always planned to come home, but then there was a storm on the water and our ship went down.” He wanted to make sure Cassidy and Shannon heard he hadn’t kissed them goodbye on his way out the door with the knowledge he wasn’t going to return. Nothing had been premeditated. He thought that was important for them to know.
“Some other people with a boat saved me. When I saw all my friends had died... I just... I thought I deserved to be with them. I thought about your mom and my family and it hit me that their lives might be better if I weren’t around to disappoint them anymore.” Wade swallowed hard. “I wanted your mom to be happy and I knew she never could be with me. So I stayed away and I let people think whatever they wanted.”
“So it wasn’t—wasn’t because you didn’t love us?” Piper’s voice quivered.
Her tears tore at his heart in a way that made him feel split in two. He reached over the seats, fumbling to get her unclipped from her car seat. Shannon swooped her hands under his and deftly unbuckled Piper. Then Wade took Piper in his arms and hauled her onto his lap in the front seat. He hugged her close.
He could have reminded her he hadn’t known about her. He could have absolved himself of her pain and pushed it onto Cassidy. But he wouldn’t. Piper was in pain and he would do whatever he could to make it go away, and casting her mother in a bad light wouldn’t do that. Five years ago, Cassidy had good reason not to trust he would change his life to be a good father. He didn’t blame her for not telling.
His Unexpected Return--A Fresh-Start Family Romance Page 11