by Lea Coll
His hand covered mine on my leg. “We’ll figure it out.”
Normally, the simple touch of his hand on my leg would calm me but I was too wound up. “That’s it? Just we’ll figure it out?”
“Yeah, we have nine months to figure everything out.”
“That’s easy for you to say. It’s not your body. The baby won’t live here.” I gestured at the cabin.
“Why not?”
I couldn’t believe he even had to ask that question because the answer was clear to me. “Because we’re not together, remember? You said you didn’t want to be together unless I wanted a relationship and this baby doesn’t change anything for me.”
“It doesn’t?”
“It changes everything, but my plan is the same. I still need a job and the job I’m qualified for isn’t here.” I felt the same old resentment toward him come to the surface again. I didn’t want any ties to Chestertown beyond my family, and there was no way to separate this baby from Wyatt and our parents. It was one more thing keeping me here. Maybe that’s why I was so upset.
He pulled his hand from mine. “So you’re going to move back to Baltimore and have my baby there. You’re going to work eighty hours a week and who’s going to watch him or her? Daycares don’t keep those kinds of hours.”
My eyes filled with tears because this was the issue. I dropped my face into my hands. “I don’t know. I doubt I can afford daycare on my salary. I don’t know what I’m going to do.”
He rubbed my back, heat searing through my shirt providing comfort and tingles. His voice was gentle and soothing, “We don’t have to decide all of the details now. The only thing you need to be sure of is if you want to keep the baby.”
Agitated, I stood, his hand dropping from my back. “Of course I want to keep the baby. Don’t you?” In all of the scenarios that ran through my head today not one of them was the idea that Wyatt might not want the baby.
A slow smile spread over his face. “Yes. I just wanted to be sure that you did.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “You think so little of me you’d think I wouldn’t want this baby—our baby?”
“No, I’ve always thought highly of you. You’re stubborn, strong, and opinionated. You know what you want.” Then he stood in front of me. “I just wanted to hear you say it. That you want our baby.” He rubbed my arms as if to calm me. “We’ll figure this out together. I want to be there for you. I want to be there for this baby.”
I searched his face for any sign of insincerity, but what I saw was contentment, happiness. It was confusing because unexpected changes always threw me. “You’re happy about this, aren’t you?”
“I’ve always wanted a child. Maybe not before I was married, but I always dreamed that I’d have a child one day with you. How could I possibly be unhappy?” He dropped his hands from my arms. “I have a good job, benefits. I can take care of this child. I can take care of you.”
That was the issue. I didn’t have any of those things. Years of our family imploding over money and hanging onto a failing business convinced me that a good job with a guaranteed paycheck, health insurance, and stability were what I needed. “I don’t need you to take care of me. I want to provide for the baby too.”
“I get that. Trust me, I get that. But I’ll be here in any way you’ll let me.”
He was saying all of the right things, but it didn’t change the fact that I wanted to be independent. I couldn’t refute the idea that him offering his support settled some of the anxiety I felt at not knowing what the next step would be. “Okay.”
He sat back down, resting his elbows on his knees. “I assume you want to wait to tell people? Don’t people usually wait a few months first?”
I sat next to him, relaxing now that the hard part of the conversation was over. “I live with my parents so it might be hard to hide it much longer. I’m sick and really tired.”
“You’re feeling sick?” His voice laced with concern and sympathy.
I could see him struggling with that news—that I was suffering because of this pregnancy and my stomach clenched that he cared. “Yeah, that’s how I found out I was pregnant. I was sick in the Jeep with you when we came back from Assateague and again today.”
“Did you tell anyone?”
I shook my head. “No. I told Samantha it wasn’t possible—that I hadn’t been with anyone. At the time, I thought it was impossible. I don’t understand what happened.” Then my eyes narrowed on him. “Who would you want to tell anyway?”
He smiled. “My family. My mom’s been pressuring Sutton for babies. I guess she figured she’d be the first to settle down.”
His body vibrated with excitement and happiness—so different from my initial reaction to the news. His family was close and they would want to be involved in this baby’s life too. Suddenly, my life wasn’t just me anymore—it was this baby, Wyatt, his family, my family. It was overwhelming.
“Can we wait a few weeks? At least until the doctor confirms that everything’s okay?” I needed more to time to process everything.
“Absolutely. We can do everything on your timetable. We’ll do it when you’re ready, but all I ask is that we do it together.”
“I don’t think I need to be there with your family. We’re not together and I don’t want to give them the wrong idea.” The last thing I wanted to do was face his family. When I had walked away from Wyatt, I walked away from them too and they’d been like a second family to me in high school.
“Yes. My mom will want to talk to you—to make sure you’re okay and to offer help.”
“Isn’t she mad at me?” Kristen and Wyatt were both upset with me and I expected no less from his parents. Wouldn’t they be concerned for Wyatt that he’d get hurt again?
“She was upset we’d broken up, but she understood. We were young. You had a full scholarship to UMBC. She’ll be thrilled you’re pregnant with her grandchild. That will override any residual negative feelings if there were any.”
“Okay.” But I wasn’t so sure. Everyone else had been so angry and hurt by my actions and the last thing I ever wanted to do was to hurt Mrs. Carter. She’d always been there for me.
“One step at a time, yeah?”
Everything about Wyatt’s demeanor was comforting and encouraging. Some of the turmoil I felt earlier was still there, but it was definitely quieted by his reaction, his presence, his confidence that everything could be figured out in time.
“Are you ready to eat?” he asked, getting up.
I was suddenly starving. I hadn’t eaten much since breakfast. I’d been nibbling on saltines, worried about setting my stomach off again. “Yeah.”
He brought the takeout cartons to the coffee table and handed me the chopsticks. I opened the boxes containing chicken, rice, and veggies and we ate in silence for a few minutes. Right now, the food tasted good and my stomach was settled but I worried I’d feel ill afterward.
“You seem surprised by my reaction.” He gazed at me over his takeout box as he placed noodles in his mouth.
I sighed. “I am, a little. I wasn’t sure what to expect. If you’d be angry or upset.”
“You worried I wouldn’t want anything to do with the baby?”
“Not really, but it’s been years, Wyatt. I have no idea where you’re at right now. Do you want a baby now, and with me? Maybe you’re interested in dating someone and this would complicate things for you, or you recently broke up with someone and you might want to get back together with them.” I was prepared to raise this baby by myself and his help was appreciated but definitely not expected.
“I’m not dating anyone. I broke up with Casey six months ago. She was upset I wouldn’t or couldn’t commit to something more—marriage, kids, the whole thing. Like I said earlier, I wasn’t planning on a child at twenty-five but now that I have one, I couldn’t be happier. I’m excited.”
“Thanks for being so honest.” I would never admit it but thinking about him with someone else bothere
d me even if it shouldn’t. I’d left him. Of course he could date other people.
“What about you? Any other guys in the picture?”
“No. Not right now.” I didn’t mention that any stints with guys in my life were brief and very casual. I never went below the surface with anyone. I didn’t want that commitment or entanglement. I didn’t want to be so tied up in someone else that walking away for my career would destroy me. I’d done that once and I wouldn’t do that again.
“There’s no one still harboring something for you? I find that hard to believe.”
I shrugged. I wasn’t that girl who dove whole-heartedly into a relationship. I knew what was at stake and wouldn’t take that risk.
His expression could only be described as satisfied. “Don’t run out on me again. We plan everything together. I don’t think I can stop you from moving back to the city, but I want to know about it and I want to work with you on a child-rearing plan, a custody arrangement.”
“That’s fair.” At his steady gaze, I continued, “I’ll talk to you before I make any final decisions. Trust me, right now, I have no idea what to do.”
His fingers interlaced with mine as he placed his takeout box on the table in front of us. “I’m here with you every step of the way.”
As a friend? As the father of my child? As what? He’d been clear that a relationship was out unless I was committed to him. Now that we were tied together because of this baby would I have to see him date someone else, marry someone else? Share my child with someone else? The thought caused a stabbing pain in my chest. I longed for the numbness I’d felt when I was in Baltimore and he was here. Now I’d be forced to face this, us, what we had, and what we could have been for the foreseeable future.
Wyatt
I was elated Lucy was pregnant. When Casey pressured me for more—a ring, marriage, and children, I’d walked away, but now I knew I didn’t want those things with her. I’d always wanted those things with Lucy. I didn’t see any downside to it unless she moved away, which was huge, but I hoped she’d see it was better to raise the baby here where I lived, both grandparents lived, and her friends. We would need help and we had it in abundance.
I wanted to see her again this morning so I texted her. I wanted to reassure her things would be okay. I wanted to reassure myself that she was here. As happy as I was about the news, I’d had difficulty sleeping wondering if she would up and leave, not telling me. It was irrational, but something told me this news was a shock for her and I didn’t want her to panic.
Wyatt: Are you feeling okay this morning? I wanted to know how she was doing, how she was feeling. I wanted to be part of every step of this pregnancy.
Lucy: Yes, thanks for asking.
Wyatt: Are you up for going somewhere with me?
Lucy: That depends. Where are we going?
Wyatt: It’s a surprise.
Lucy: You’re full of surprises these days.
Wyatt: So, are you ☺
Lucy: Touché. Okay.
Wyatt: Be there in 30.
I pulled up her driveway like I had so many times in the past but this time I was meeting with the mother of my child. I loved the sound of that. I knew she was upset and thrown off with the news but I’d show her how we were going to be amazing parents and had nothing to worry about. I knocked on the door, listening to the approaching footsteps.
The door opened and Mr. Perry stood in the doorway. “Wyatt, good to see you.”
“Good to see you as well.” We shook hands and I stepped inside. Nothing had changed in the last seven years. The home was lived in and comfortable.
I followed Mr. Perry into the kitchen where Lucy was seated at the table eating toast. She raised her brow at my outfit. I planned to take her to work with me, so I wore my uniform, an army green shirt and pants, a gun holstered on my hip, and black work boots.
“Are we going to your work?” Lucy asked before taking the last bite of her toast and pushing away from the table to clear her dish.
“I guess it’s not much of a surprise at this point.” I gestured down at my uniform.
I walked over to where she put the dish into the dishwasher. When she was done, I leaned over to kiss her cheek, aware her parents were watching, and said quietly, “Morning.”
“Good morning.” She eyed me warily.
She probably didn’t want me showing affection in front of her parents, but it was only a kiss on the cheek. After tossing and turning most of the night, an idea came to me. I planned to woo her. I wasn’t sure what the modern word for courting someone was but convincing her to give me another chance was the idea. It was similar to my desire to show Lucy what she was missing but I was ramping it up to why she needed me in her life. Charming her parents was part of the plan.
“Morning Mrs. Perry.” I dropped a kiss on her cheek too.
“It’s so good to see you, Wyatt,” Mom answered. “Would you like some eggs?”
“No thank you. I ate already.”
Mrs. Perry smiled with happiness. “What are your plans for the day?” Her gaze bounced back and forth between Lucy and me.
“I have to work for a few hours and thought Lucy would like to see what I do. Then I thought we could go swimming.”
“Oh, how nice. At your old swimming hole?” Mrs. Perry asked.
“Yes.” I leaned easily on the island counter like nothing had changed since high school.
Then to Lucy I said, “Grab your swimsuit, your camera, and whatever else you think you’ll need. We’ll be on the boat today.”
She gave me a tight smile before leaving the kitchen.
I turned my gaze to her parents. “How’s retirement?”
“Great, actually. I should have retired years ago.” Mr. Perry took a sip of his still steaming coffee.
“It’s been great not stressing over the business. We have time to relax and we’re thinking of traveling, finally.” Mrs. Perry exchanged a happy smile with her husband.
“That’s great.” It was good the business wasn’t causing them any more stress.
Lucy walked back into the kitchen in a white T-shirt that hung off one shoulder revealing tan skin and an olive green bathing suit strap, leggings, and sneakers, a beach bag over her shoulder.
“Are you ready?” I was excited to put my plan into action. There was no way she could resist me. Failing was not an option—not when the alternative was living hours away from Lucy and my child.
“I am.”
I shook Lucy’s father’s hand and kissed her mother’s cheek again. “Thank you for the coffee.”
“Take care with Lucy, okay? She’s been really tired lately.”
“I will, Mrs. Perry. I always do.” I exchanged a look with Lucy. We needed to tell them soon.
I grabbed Lucy’s hand and guided her down the hall and out the front door. I opened my truck door for her, helping her inside, with a boost from my hands on her hips.
When I climbed into the driver’s side, she said, “Why are you taking me to work?”
“I wanted to show you what I do at work and take you to one of our favorite spots when we were kids.”
“Am I allowed go to work with you?”
“I filled out the paperwork for you.” I gestured to the console between us. “You just need to sign the release form. Don’t worry, I won’t let anything happen to you.”
Lucy picked up the clipboard and signed the waiver and placed it back on the console.
“It’s like a ride-a-long.”
“Okay.”
“That’s it. No more arguing?” I smiled at her.
She sighed. “Is this a good idea? We’re supposed to be friends, remember? Friends who are having a baby together.”
“Friends do ride-a-longs.”
She shot me a disbelieving look before laying her head back on the seat. “It will be cool to see what you do, though.”
“How are you feeling?” I’d googled pregnancy symptoms as soon as she left last night.
“Okay. I’ve been eating crackers as soon as I wake up and that helps.”
“I read that too.”
“You researched pregnancy symptoms?” She arched her brow.
“You’re the one who’s tired and sick. I wanted to know what to expect so I could help you.” I glanced over at her to see if it was sinking in that she wasn’t alone. I would be here for her.
Lucy kept her eyes trained on her window. “What will we be doing today?”
“I’m taking you out on the Sassafras River. I patrol the river to check for boating violations and OWI’s, operating while impaired vessels, and fishing violations on Saturdays. It’s the busiest day of the week.”
“That sounds interesting but is it dangerous?”
“No different than another other police officer. I’m an officer with all the powers of the state police except our duties are to protect the natural resources of Maryland, including wildlife, aquatic life, and boating safety laws. We step in when park rangers need us to enforce hunting and fishing laws. We work with other law enforcement agencies too, but my district is Kent County.”
“Is that how you came to work with Jack and Luke?”
“Yes, we work closely together if there’s a case that involves all of our departments but I’m mainly a patrol officer responding to calls on water and land.” I was ready to move past fieldwork and be a supervisor.
We pulled into the marina’s lot. “If you feel nauseous, we can come back. I’m just filling in for one of my co-worker’s shifts so he can go to his kid’s soccer game.”
“That’s really nice of you.” A soft smile covered her lips.
“I’m the only one who doesn’t have a kid so I don’t mind.”
Lucy smiled. “Not for long.”
“That’s right.” I smiled and reached over to squeeze her hand.
Lucy held her hand out to me so she could step out of the truck, but I placed my hands on her hips and lifted her down. I hoped her heart raced when I touched her and she could feel the warmth of my hands through her clothes. I wanted her to remember everything about me that she loved. I didn’t just want this baby—I wanted her.