The curtain was peeled back, rings scraping across the rod in the process. A hand touched my waist, warm, solid, man.
“Please. Listen to me.” He pressed his fully clothed body against my backside.
I sighed, my shoulders falling. “Talk then.”
“I’ve got nothing else but you and the club. I don’t want to fucking choose, but if it comes down to it, you know where I’ll go…”
My face grew hot, and humiliation struck me like a guitar pick to a string, a sour note that had chills of unease dancing down my spine. I was such an idiot.
“I don’t expect you to pick me, if that’s what you mean.”
He moved in closer, his hips flush with mine from behind. With slow fingers, he lifted my chin, forcing me to look at him from over my shoulder. “Is that what you think?”
“I don’t know how else to think.”
Niyol tucked a lock of my hair behind my ear, then caressed my shoulder with his calloused fingertips. Wordless, he leaned around me, shutting off the water. I didn’t move, other than the chattering of my teeth.
“Come on. Let’s get you warm.” Niyol pulled back the curtain and stepped out, water dripping from his jeans, onto my floor, soaking the tile. He grabbed a towel, forgoing his own clothing to tuck it around me. Then, without a thought, he picked me up, cradled me to his chest, and carried me to my room.
The worst part about it? I let him.
Both of us were drenched, soaking the carpeted floors. Along the way, down the hall, he grabbed another towel from a closet and wrapped it over me like a blanket. In my room, he lowered me onto the bed, taking care to wipe my body down with the extra towel. Again, I let him, watching with trembling breath, and remembering our nights together on the road.
His hair fell over his eyes like a curtain, wet from the shower. Every drop caressing his lips was a seduction of its own. Part of me knew I shouldn’t have let him do it. I wasn’t even sure if the two of us were meant to be together now—he’d basically told me the choice was already made. The club over me. Yet there I was, a sucker for someone, again, who’d basically just told me I would never be their number one.
He stripped out of his own wet clothes, staying in his damp boxers. Both of us shivered as we lay beneath the comforter, our bodies pressed close. Not thinking twice, I laid my head on his chest, a natural reaction to being close to him now. I draped my arm over his stomach and he kissed my forehead in turn.
It felt amazing to lay with him like this again, even though this very well could have been our last goodbye. Maybe that was why I wasn’t pushing him away.
The comforting sound of his heart was like a lullaby in my ears, almost lulling me under. But I refused to fall asleep when there was still so much to be said.
“Are you happy, Ny?”
Fingers danced in my hair. “With you, like this? How could I not be?”
“Not with me.” I sighed. “I meant, being back with your club.”
“It’s where I’ve always belonged, Summer. And now that Pops isn’t there, I feel like I can breathe again. Live the way I’ve always wanted to within the club.”
“That’s good.” I paused, genuinely happy for him. “I just… I’m so confused about what’s going on right now. It’s going to take me some time to wrap my head around everything. You being a part of my life and the club…”
“That’s not a no.” His words were a whisper, as though he was speaking them out loud for his own sanity.
I shook my head, feeling his smile against my forehead when he pressed his lips there again. “No. I guess it’s not.”
“I’m willing to wait, Summer. However long it takes you to decide.”
I shut my eyes, letting go of the words with my heavy breaths. “You’re willing to wait, but…” I swallowed hard. “What if I don’t want you to?”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know if I can live my life never knowing if you’ll be home or not. I’m not sure if a non-traditional relationship is something I want.”
It wasn’t. I’m not sure why I was sugar-coating it. My entire life I’ve dreamt of the house with the huge land where my kids could run free. Just like my grandparents had. We could host holidays and Fourth of July bashes. Maybe buy a few goats and a horse even. I wanted to be the mom mine couldn’t, and have a dad, right there by my side. I’d go to work as a teacher during the day and then, at night, come home and live the life I’d always dreamed of.
Committing to Niyol meant losing all of that.
“Who says we wouldn’t have traditional?” he asked, lifting my chin so I could settle it on his chin and meet his eyes. “Just because I’m an RD doesn’t mean I can’t give you everything you want.” His brows furrowed as if a thought had just slammed into him. Lips quirking up on one side, he said the last thing I ever expected. “Move in with me.”
I jerked my head back a little. “Move in with you?”
He was kidding. He had to be kidding.
“Yeah, I mean, I’m living in the dorms at the compound right now, but we could rent something for a while. Halfway between the compound and your work. Once we save up enough money we can build a house on the compound land.”
Build a house on a motorcycle club compound?
“I…” His eyes were wide and serious, searching my face. Nothing about this was a joke to him, but to me, it felt like I was living in some sort of alternative reality.
“I’m not talking today, or tomorrow, but soon,” he continued. “We can be together. See where things go.”
I frowned. “You want me to move in with you?”
“There a parrot in the room?” He smirked, stroking his fingers along my cheek. “Yeah, Summer. I want that. A lot.”
I chewed on my bottom lip, not doubting his sincerity. Laying my head back on his chest, I glanced over at my small work desk that sat across the room. It was piled high with lesson plans and new cheer routines. My planned life. My career. Almost everything I wanted was right there in that stack of papers, organized and ready. I liked my apartment. The location was ideal for now. The simplicity of it all. My very own world where I could just come home and be me. Drink my coffee in the morning, grade papers at night. The only thing missing would be Niyol.
“Say yes.” He stroked a hand between my shoulder blades, his voice practically cooing. “Come be a part of my world.”
“But what about my world? The things I want.”
He frowned. “You can have that too. Told you. I’ll take you to work on my bike. Be there to pick you up at work every night.”
“But I like my apartment. And I’m getting my new car next week, so I’ll be able to drive myself around again. I want a farm, Niyol.” I shook my head at the thought.
He chuckled. “A farm, huh?”
I winced, hating that he could joke about this. “Yes. I want that. Like my grandparents have. I want that life someday.”
He paused for a little bit, his fingers stilling too. “Someday, yeah, but what about right now? You don’t wanna move in with me?”
“Niyol… I told you I wasn’t even sure if we should be together a few minutes ago, and now you’re talking move-ins and changes. I just—”
“But it was okay if I moved in with you, though.” His voice cracked angrily. “You asked me on the airplane, remember? To move in with you once we got back.”
Technically, I had asked him. But that was before he had a place to go to. A home to stay at. A motorcycle club to be a part of. That was also before I realized what him being back with his club would mean when it came to us being together.
It was better to be blunt and state the truth, rather than hold back, which was why I said what I did next. “Your world scares me.”
He pulled me closer. “You’ll always be safe with me.” When all I could do was shrug, he kissed the top of my head again. “At least think about it?”
More insecurities piled on top of me at his question, but I wouldn’t let them overrule my he
ad. I was not going to agree to something I wasn’t sure of. And I sure as heck wouldn’t let him put me on the spot either. We barely knew one another, so what was wrong with waiting before delving into each other’s worlds so quickly? I should have never asked him to move in with me on the plane in the first place. It was too soon. Too much for both of us. These three weeks apart had only proven that. We needed to slow down. Date. Get to know one another more.
There again, was that what I even wanted? I was sure I was falling for Niyol, but did that mean I wanted to sacrifice my chance at happiness for his?
Maybe that’s what love was truly about. Losing yourself to make others around you happy. I’d done it for so long that it was a natural reaction.
Stress had me yawning, exhaustion creeping in with a vengeance. And though my mind swarmed with confusing thoughts, I found myself falling asleep against him.
Life was complicated, life was stressful, life was full of too many choices and decisions.
But naps, on the other hand, were not. And I needed one.
Thirty-Eight
Niyol
If I was truly a good man, then I should’ve never snuck out of Summer’s bed after she’d fallen asleep in my arms. I should’ve explained why I had to go, that there’d been a call from the club. Someone had broken into the compound after I’d left. Cut through the barbed wire of the fence, snuck the fuck inside, and stole some of our guns and ammo right out of the War Wagon, the trailer we kept our weapons in. More rogues, we’d figured. But were they the same ones? And what the fuck did they want with a few bullets and a couple of Glocks?
We’d only seen one dude on video getting out of their car. Dressed in a black cut, no patches, and a ski mask. He was a twig-like thing who obviously could move around unseen. A tool for someone else? Likely. By the time Slade got a crew to the corner of the compound where he’d been, the guy had split.
To be fair, I did leave Summer a note saying that I’d call her tonight. I’d make it up to her, for the rest of my life if I had to, but this would be my life for a long while, if not forever. Run, run, run. Stop. Go. Stop. Go. Over and fucking over. And if she didn’t like it, or wanna be with me because of it? I had no clue what I’d do, but I cared about her enough to accept it.
I wasn’t kidding when I’d said she was one of the main reasons I found the balls to come back. Without her? I’d be a worthless man. But making her miserable by sticking it out with me wasn’t who I wanted to be either.
It was later in the evening when Slade, Archer, and I got our first and only lead. Couple of guys driving an old Chevy down the interstate toward Iowa. They’d made it just to the edge of the Illinois/Iowa border, their car dying alongside the roadside. When we’d found their piece of shit ride, the guns were right there in the backseat, along with the ammo, door unlocked. We couldn’t figure out what their angle was, but we were all relieved that no blood had to be spilled to get them back.
The three of us, along with a couple of other prospects, wound up stopping for the night at a run-down shack of a motel with a makeshift bar in the lobby set up on stilts. It wasn’t any worse than the places Summer and I had stayed in, but it wasn’t golden either.
I’d texted Summer about a half hour ago, apologizing again. Saying I’d pick her up tomorrow, do something date-ish, because I knew that was the kind of shit she needed. I had to try and keep our two worlds apart for a little while, until the time was right to mold them together. Especially if she was still unsure about everything.
Sitting there with Archer and Slade like I was in that bar, felt like old times. Drinking and celebrating the world we were about to be living in. An awesome fucking world where there’d be no more Pops to mess with our lives.
“Tell me about this woman of yours.” Slade leaned back in his chair, curly hair hanging over both his eyes and a Bud bottle pressed to his lips. The guy was quiet and deadly most of the time, always on high alert. The trifecta that rounded out our crew.
“What do you wanna know?” I asked.
“What’s she like?”
Like heaven bottled all its perfection and put it inside of this one person that was made for me.
“You saw her. She’s damn perfect.” I settled with that, not wanting to sound like a pussy-whipped fool.
“And she’s gonna accept this?” He spread his arms out wide. “Our world. Your world?”
I shrugged, peeling the label on my beer, hating how I didn’t have a real answer anymore. “Hope so.”
She told me she feared my world, and I didn’t blame her. Summer had grown up with a doctor daddy and two big brothers. A situation where she didn’t have to want for, or deal with, a whole lot, I’m guessing. The lifestyle I lived was something that wasn’t easy for an outsider to get used to.
“She’s a feisty one.” Archer grinned, taking another drink of his beer. “Thought she was gonna bust my balls trying to keep your ass hidden in that room in Colorado.” He laughed, jabbing his thumb at me. Slade smirked at that, and I couldn’t help but do the same. “I got mad respect for a lady who tries to protect her man.”
I remembered listening in the hall that night, waiting for her to get back. I’d been pissed as hell that she’d taken off, but in a way, that also proved she could handle anything. It’s the only real hope I had left when it came to the possibility of her accepting me and the club.
“She’s a good girl.” I clapped the bottom of my bottle on the table, not really in the mood to drink now. Instead, I wanted to call her, get home to her, get inside of her again, most of all.
“Good for you two. Thinking she’ll make a fine old lady.” Archer leaned back in his chair with a smug smile.
I grinned, rubbing my hand over my mouth. “I wouldn’t label her as that just yet. She’d likely bust me in the balls.”
“You sure she’s what you want?” Slade leaned forward onto the table, his eyes narrowed. As my cousin, the two of us shared the same dark eyes and skin. Unlike me, though, he saw the world as a black hole, ready to suck you in at any moment. I could be like that sometimes, but never as bad as him.
“She seems like a lotta work,” Slade added.
“She’s not.”
“But you were so fucking adamant about going cross-country and finding Maya.” Unconvinced, Slade kept going, defense for the woman there in his stare.
“Maya’s my past. Summer’s my future now.”
“Sounds ridiculous.” Archer laughed, then put his hand on my shoulder. “But if that’s what you want, I’m all for it. Long as you don’t take off again.” He turned serious. “The club needs you.”
“I’m not running.”
“Swear it,” Slade demanded.
I put my elbows on the table. “On my life.”
Both my buddies slowly leaned back at my declaration, respect flickering in their eyes. They knew I didn’t make that vow lightly.
“Well, all right then.” With a grin, Slade lifted his drink into the air. “A toast to the forever kind of pussy.”
I shook my head but lifted my bottle anyway.
The tension eased in the air after that. We spoke about the club’s future, the plans we all had. It was a damn good night, all in all.
Until my phone buzzed and Emily’s name flashed across the screen.
Thirty-Nine
Summer
The road was pitch black, while the rain beat against the windows like tiny drums, echoing throughout the cab of my rental car. The insurance company said my Rover was totaled, which I figured was the case, and now I was just waiting for the insurance check to buy something new.
Somewhere along the drive, amid my disappointment over being ditched by Niyol, I let my emotions take hold and guide me to Lisa’s house. Sometime after I’d fallen asleep in Niyol’s arms this morning, he’d left. And next to me on a pillow when I woke was a Dear Jane letter. What a stupid, stupid man he was saying one thing, then acting another way.
At the same time, I should have expected this
to happen. After hearing what he’d gone through during his three weeks of isolation, only for him to run straight to me the second he was free, I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, even if I didn’t understand it right now. Just as long as he let me in every now and then; communicated instead of ditching me while I was sleeping. Then maybe I could try to accept the ways of his club. It could take some time, but that’s all I had anymore.
I pulled into Lisa’s driveway ten minutes later, my inquisition prepared. Emily had told me little about her mother’s life with Niyol’s father, and from the sounds of it, things hadn’t been great. So, it was time I went straight to the source and found out exactly what I was about to get myself into when it came to the world of the Red Dragons.
Dressed in a pair of jeans and a long, black tank top, Lisa opened the door looking as though she was ready for the runway.
“Summer? What are you doing here?” Her green eyes widened as she took in my disheveled form.
“Would you believe me if I said I was in the neighborhood?”
She ushered me inside with a sad smile on her face. “Sadly no.”
Soaked to the bone and wearing my hoodie and shorts, I walked inside, looking around, and asked, “Is he here?” It was a long shot, not to mention the perfect excuse.
“Niyol?” she asked.
I nodded.
“No, I’m sorry, sweetie, he’s not.”
She took my coat and ushered me into her kitchen. Uncaring that I was dripping water all over her beautiful floors, she grabbed a blanket off the back of her couch and placed it around my neck as I settled at her kitchen table.
“What’s going on, Summer?”
Not wanting to beat around the bush, I let it all go. “He wants me to move in with him, but I’m not sure if I want to.”
Lisa prepared a pot of coffee and set a cup in front of me on the table. She tapped her finger to her lips as she sat down beside me in a chair with her own. “So, this is deeper than I originally thought.”
Her Wild Ride: An addictive, steamy biker MC romance suspense novel Page 24