His eyes widened. “You want to catch this mountain lion?”
“Yes.” She stood, trying to find the words that would make him see why this mattered. She pointed at the track. At the scat. “This is pure luck.”
To her surprise, he started laughing. “That’s not what most people would consider lucky.”
She grinned, trying to concentrate, because his face, lit up with laughter, was a sight to behold. “Hey, I have long since accepted that I’m not like most people. But seriously, we have an opportunity here. If we can catch this mountain lion, we can learn all about it. Whether it’s male or female, how old, in what state of health. If it’s related to any of the pumas already in the Department’s database.” She had to make him see how much this mattered. “With a radio collar, we can track it, learn where it roams, including if and when it comes near your ranch.”
“How are you going to catch it?” Caleb gestured to her vaguely. “You’re not exactly a match for it.”
This was good. If he was making short jokes, he wasn’t going to say no. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to wrestle it.” Excitement had her pacing back and forth, staring at the hillside by the trail. “You know, in this situation, I think a cage trap might work. And the vet, Emily, said she’d like to help me if an opportunity like this came up. I’ll give her a call.”
“Emily Fielding? When did you meet her?”
“I took Einstein in for a checkup when I found him. Emily asked about my work. She said that if I trapped any lions, she’d love to help assess their health.”
He looked at her doubtfully. “So, tonight, you and Emily will sit out here, in the dark, waiting for this lion to show up?”
“Something like that.”
“And you’ll use my livestock as bait.”
So that was his worry. “I’d never do that. I’ll pick up a nice hunk of meat from the butcher for bait.”
“How do you know this lion doesn’t want its meat nice and fresh? I can’t risk losing another animal.”
She cast around for some way to assuage his fears. “Can’t you lock your sheep in the barn? It’s huge. It should hold them all, with tons of room to spare.”
He looked chagrined. “The doors don’t exactly shut.”
This was ridiculous. “Okay, that’s it. You are having that barn raising sooner rather than later. I am texting Grandma when I get back to my car, and letting her know that The Biddies should go full speed ahead with planning.”
His voice came out rough. “Please don’t.”
She tried to reassure him. “It’s not charity. It’s neighbors helping neighbors.”
“It feels like charity. And it’s not just that.” His jaw tightened into that familiar, stubborn line. “It’s privacy. It’s everyone knowing my business.”
She knew what he was trying to describe. “I felt that way a lot, growing up.”
“What do you mean? You weren’t a charity case.”
Did he know her so little? Or had he forgotten? “I was in foster care until Grandma took me in.” The memories came flooding back. “When I moved here, everyone in town knew my story. About my parents and their drugs. People tried to be kind, but each time a new rumor went around, about their arrests, or whatever trouble they were in, I could feel people looking at me differently. All that pity. Ugh.”
Maya stopped, horrified. She rarely talked about her parents. She tried not to think about them too much either. They were one more thing in life that was impossible to understand. “I’m sorry—this isn’t about me.”
“I didn’t ever know you felt that way. You always seemed so strong, so focused and calm.” Caleb reached out his hand, then stopped himself, and she felt the loss of what hadn’t happened. What she hadn’t known she wanted. The touch of his hand on hers.
She took a step back so she wouldn’t reach for him. “It’s in the past. But the point is, let The Biddies help you. They are so happy to do it.”
Then she turned away and scanned the hillside to get her mind back on the task at hand. And away from that intimate moment. Because the more of those they had, the harder it would be to keep Caleb neatly filed in the work category of her mind. She needed him to stay there. He’d made a choice to cut her off all those years ago, and he could do it again in a moment.
She had no time to think about any of this. She didn’t even live here, and wasn’t going to move back, so even if there was something between them, it was a nonstarter.
Plus about a million things needed to happen between now and tonight if this crazy idea was going to work. It was time for facts, details, tasks. Which were far more comfortable than thinking about Caleb. “I’ll need to round up all of my gear and call Emily, and I hope I can get a trap in time.”
Then it occurred to her. He hadn’t said yes. “So, is it okay if I hang out here tonight and trap a mountain lion?”
He nodded. “On one condition. I get to hang out here and trap the lion with you.”
“You want to help?”
“I don’t want you to get hurt.”
There was that rescue complex again. “I have been trapping mountain lions and bears and wolves and coyotes for years, Caleb Dunne. And I didn’t have some man’s protection for most of that.” She rolled her eyes dramatically. “It’s a miracle I survived without you.”
“Okay, okay.” He held up his hands in mock self-defense. “I apologize. I never meant to suggest you weren’t capable. Clearly you can accomplish anything you set your mind to, all on your own. But I’d still like to help out, if you’ll let me.”
“Thank you.” She was still suspicious of his motives. She didn’t want him there if he thought her weak. If he had some misguided idea that she needed him. “I thought you hated mountain lions.”
He shrugged. “Well, they’re causing me so much trouble, I may as well meet one if I have the chance.”
That she could accept. Maybe if they trapped one, if he could see one up close, she could help him understand why the big cats mattered. Why it was so important to find ways to coexist with them.
“Just one thing though.” She made her voice stern. “If we catch a lion, you have to listen to me. No arguing. No trying to take over.”
“You’re the expert. I’ll just be there to help.”
“Help is good.” Maya went to get Newt, pulling the sweet boy’s head gently out of a yummy patch of grass. “We should go back. I’ve got to get things ready. It’s going to be a busy day and a long night.” She climbed into the saddle and gathered her reins. “Come on, Einstein.”
The big dog looked up from the clump of sage he’d been investigating. His eyes held so much intelligence that sometimes it seemed like he was part human. He trotted over to fall into step beside Newt.
Caleb motioned toward the sheep, still grazing peacefully, farther out in the pasture, oblivious to the mountain lion that might be lurking close by. “Want to help me bring them into the barn? I’ll figure out a way to barricade them in there for the night.”
“Yes.” Maya’s heart warmed as she remembered days when they’d done this before. Happier times, when she’d helped him with his chores around the ranch.
Caleb swung up on Amos and set off at a jog toward the sheep. The small flock instantly turned away from him and headed back toward the barn. Maya flanked them so they’d stay on course. When she glanced at Caleb, he waved, a big grin on his face. It was almost like they were a team. It was almost like the life she’d imagined for them. A brief glimpse of what might have been possible, once upon a time.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
MAYA PUT ANOTHER branch on top of the wire-cage trap and glanced at Caleb. “What do you think?”
“It’s getting hard to see it.” The sun was almost down, barely peeping over the ridgeline.
“That’s the idea.”
He laughed. “I was referri
ng to the fact that it’s almost dark. Not our amazing camouflage.” He came forward with the last piece of brush they’d cut and handed it to her ceremoniously. “Would you like to do the honors?”
“Why, thank you.” She set the branch across the top of the doorway. “I’m glad you’re here with me. I don’t know how I’d have gotten this trap out of the truck and up this hill by myself.”
“Happy to help.” She’d made it clear she didn’t need his protection, but no way was he going to let her do this alone, even though she’d been trapping wild animals for years. While they’d packed the truck to come out here, she’d told him stories. Grizzlies. Wolves. She’d worked with them all. It was amazing to realize how rugged so much of her life had been. How tough she was to live the way she did.
He glanced down the dirt road for Emily, who’d had to close up her clinic before she could meet them. No sign of her yet. Hopefully she understood the directions he’d given her. They were on a remote corner of his ranch and it hadn’t been easy to explain how to find them.
Maya picked up a canvas tarp from the pile they’d brought and spread it out in the bottom of the cage, careful not to touch the plate at the entrance that triggered the door to close. Caleb squinted at the contraption through the dimming light. They’d wedged the cage halfway in the bushes, and covered the rest with brush. “You know, if this mountain lion is dumb enough to walk into this crazy-looking trap, it deserves to get caught and collared.”
Maya laughed. “It does look kind of crazy. Hopefully the lion will be too excited to eat the meat I brought to notice our mediocre camouflage.”
“Do you think this will work?” It was hard to believe that an elusive animal like a mountain lion would just show up here and walk inside.
“I have no idea. There are plenty of reasons why it might not. The lion could have moved on. It might not be interested in eating lamb. Maybe it came by your ranch to look for deer.”
“Well, overall I’d prefer that.”
“Let’s hope that, just for tonight, it really, really wants lamb.” Maya went to the cooler chest Caleb had carried up the hill. “Time for bait.” She pulled out two huge legs of lamb and tossed them into the back of the trap. “Hopefully that will tempt our mountain lion friend. And hopefully it won’t tempt anyone else.”
“You think we might catch something else?”
She grinned at him. “You never know what’s out and about at night. Skunks, of course. Maybe a bobcat or a fox. The pressure plate on the floor of the trap is so sensitive, any of them could trigger it.”
“So all of this work, hauling this gear, sleeping out here, it could all be for nothing.”
“Welcome to the world of field biology, my friend. Some days it all works out, and other days you get a skunk in your trap.”
She was funny. She always had been. He’d smiled more today than he had in a decade. “There has to be another way.”
“We usually use dogs to track and tree the lions. It works much better. But I can’t get trackers on such short notice.”
“You use them in Colorado?”
“All the time.”
He was staring, and maybe it was rude, but he was trying to imagine her pelting through the woods with a couple of hound dogs, chasing a mountain lion up a tree.
“Why are you looking at me that way?” Maya asked. “I know it’s not your average job but it’s what I do.”
“Why do you do it? Why did you decide to study predators?” He wanted to try to understand what she got out of this life, which seemed so solitary and even scary to him. Anything could happen to her out in the backcountry, including one of the animals she studied deciding to make her its next meal.
She caught her lower lip in her teeth as if not sure how to answer at first. “They’re beautiful and fascinating and they’re misunderstood, you know? Everyone thinks they’re these vicious killers—that they deliberately want to hurt other animals. But they don’t. They’re just hungry, and finding food the only way they know how.”
“You mean it’s not their fault that they are who they are.”
Maya nodded. “They aren’t out to cause harm. It’s just what happens.”
Caleb remembered what she’d told him about the attack on his ranch. The panicked sheep in constant motion. The panicked puma trying to make that motion stop. And then it dawned on him, the deeper meaning, perhaps, behind her choice of careers. “There is no fault,” he said softly. “Like an accident.”
“Yes.” Maya’s eyes searched his, as if seeking his understanding. “Like an accident.”
He nodded, looked away and swallowed hard. “Thanks for telling me,” he said. “I’ve wondered.” And now he knew. That the very thing that had broken them apart, that had set him off to the military, to hide from the pain, that had dissolved his parents’ marriage, had also set her life in motion, along a unique path she might not have pursued otherwise.
“And spending so much time in the wilderness? Do you like living like that?”
The sigh she gave was so small, most people might not have caught it. But he was listening hard.
“It’s easier. To be alone. To work alone. Being around people is kind of uncomfortable. If I make friends, they want to know about my past. Then I have to make a choice. I can tell them about the accident, but then they’ll always see me differently. I can avoid mentioning it, but then no one really knows me. When I first started doing fieldwork, I realized I didn’t have to worry about any of that in the wilderness. And it felt like a relief.” She stopped, clapped her hands to her cheeks. “Oh my gosh. I’m going on and on. You must think I’m insane.”
“I don’t.” It was the opposite. Like she’d put into words something he couldn’t. “I felt the same way. That’s why I reenlisted. In combat, you’re entirely focused on the mission. You don’t have to think about anything else. And guys in the military—well, it’s not like they want to have a lot of heart-to-heart talks about the past. You work hard, you joke around a little and that’s enough for everyone. I liked that. It was a shock to come back here, where everyone knows my history. And I imagine it was even harder for you.”
“Well, most people have been kind. But sometimes I feel a little bit like prey. Like I could get ambushed by someone who still believes the rumors about me, at any time.”
“I’m sorry it’s like that. I imagine that if you stayed here, you’d eventually get all the ambushes over with, and then you could feel more at ease.”
“Well, I won’t be here long enough to find out, I suspect,” she said.
He wished he could do more to keep her safe. To make her feel like this town was still her home. Of course she wouldn’t want to stay here—she had a far more interesting life waiting back in Colorado—but he hated that his actions had been a big part of what made her feel unwelcome here for so many years. “I promise you, if anyone says anything to me, I will set them straight.”
She shot him a shy smile. “Thanks.”
Maybe it was the dusk that made everything shadowed and a little unreal. Maybe the dim light gave him courage. Whatever the reason, Caleb said what was on his mind.
“Telling you to go, telling you that we were done—it was one of the biggest mistakes I’ve made. I didn’t want you gone. And I missed you, once you were.”
Maya froze. Turned. Her eyes were wide, her lips slightly parted, but she didn’t say anything. Instead she walked away, and he watched her hands ball into fists at her sides, then release, like flowers closing and opening again. At their pile of gear, she picked up her duffel bag of clothing, fiddled with the zipper, then dropped it abruptly and plunked right down to sit on it, like his words had knocked her legs right out from under her.
He sat next to her. “I’m so sorry, Maya.”
“Me too.” She hit him, suddenly, hard on the shoulder.
“Ow. I guess I deserve that
though.”
“All these years,” she said, tears audible in her words. “All these years I thought you hated me. That you blamed me. And that made me blame myself even worse than I already did. Why didn’t you write? Or call? Why didn’t you let me know, somehow, that you hadn’t meant everything you said?”
She was furious and he wanted to wrap his arms around her, to make it all okay, but he couldn’t be the person to fix this. He’d broken it too badly already.
But he could be honest. “I think it’s easier to try to stay angry. Anger is simple. Way simpler than other feelings. Stuff like fear and regret. Or sadness. Or love.” He blew out a breath. “All that other stuff is so hard to figure out.”
“And maybe anger made you feel stronger,” Maya said.
He looked at her in surprise. She still saw right into him. She always had.
“It might feel like strength in the moment, but it isn’t. It’s just pushing people away, until you’re sitting on your porch, drinking by yourself, wondering what the hell happened.”
She nudged him with her elbow. “Hey, at least you have that cat.”
His laughter surprised him. Again. She kept doing that. Taking all of the knots inside them and gently untying. “Yeah, I’m glad there’s Hobo.”
“But your drinking...” Her voice was serious again. “It scares me.”
Her honestly hit like a blow to the sternum. He drew in a breath to steady his head. “I stopped drinking after that morning you came by. I plan to stay stopped.”
She was silent, staring at the trap for a long moment before she looked his way, her eyes dark and troubled. “I’m glad of that. I really am.”
He remembered then how she’d seen drinking go from bad to worse. How it must feel to know your parents chose booze and drugs over a life with you.
She bumped her shoulder gently into his. “Let’s finish getting set up. Then hopefully Emily will get here and we can eat. And then we have to sit, really, really quietly, without all of this chatting. Think you can do that, cowboy?”
Reunited with the Cowboy Page 15