by Drew Black
"I guess I've a lot to learn."
"I'll take you through it step by step, it's not as difficult as it seems, once you get the hang of it."
That's easy for you to say, Jack thought, "Thanks, then if it's okay, I'd like to re-do it on my own, like sort of a practice run."
"Sure, that's a good idea."
Sam tore out several pieces of paper from her writing pad, and informed Jack that each one would represent one of the estate's logs - she entitled them appropriately. "We'll not bother with the official set at the moment," Sam said studiously, "I'll show you how daddy transfers everything across into those later in the week."
The door opened, and in walked Molly, feather duster in hand. "Is everything okay kids, can I get you anything?
“No, it's okay thanks Molly." Sam said smiling at Jack. "Oh, Molly, there is one thing, Jack's going to be working on his own later, so I'll be going out sunbathing, so would you check that he's okay every so often?"
"Yes, that's no problem at all Miss Samantha." Molly said giving Jack a hearty smile. If they're not in the same room as one another they couldn't get up too much, Molly thought feeling a lot more comfortable about the situation.
Jack's first hour unsupervised flew by, and he was secretly pleased when Sam herself came back to check he was okay.
"How are you doing?" Sam asked sitting down next to him.
"I'm doing okay, actually, better than I thought I would, but I haven't started on the bible yet."
"You've only been doing it for just over an hour Jack." she exclaimed.
"Why, how long should it take?" Jack enquired as Sam was pouring over his work, checking and cross-checking it.
"My best time is just under three hours, but the norm is about four. All this is correct!" she said looking up at him and fixing him with those brown/black eyes.
"Don't sound so surprised, at school I was a straight A student."
"Smartass!" she replied tapping him on the head with the sheaf of papers. "You're going to make me look stupid." she said a little disconsolately.
"No, I'm not Sam. I would never do that to you, not for a thousand pounds a week."
She leant over and pecked him on the cheek; "See you in another hour Einstein." she said getting up and breezing out of the room.
8
That evening as Jack cycled home, he felt good. He arrived just in time to wash his hands before the family sat down for their evening meal.
"How did your first day in your new job go Jack?" his mother asked placing a steaming bowl of mashed potatoes on the kitchen table.
"Great thanks mum, I think I'm going to really enjoy it once I get the hang of it."
His father mumbled something, and his brother John giggled.
John was becoming so much like Joe and their father it was frightening Jack thought realising unenthusiastically that he now had three goons to contend with instead of just two.
"Hey Jack, you didn't tell me that Jane Ford was moving down to London." Helen said taking her place at the table.
Jack's mind raced, did Helen say London? No, that couldn't be right. "What do you mean moving to London, she can't be, I only saw her the other day, besides Tom hasn't said anything."
"Well I was speaking to a friend of hers at work this morning, and she said that it was all sorted, they're both moving down there next week."
Jack just couldn't take it in. He knew there was no way that Helen would make something like that up, but nevertheless it just didn't seem possible. If she moved to London, he might never see her again. Anything could happen to her down there, and he may never even find out about it. He felt devastated.
"What's up Romeo, as your sweetheart run off and left you? John said protruding his bottom lip. "She's never liked you anyway, she told me she thought you were a little prat."
Joe laughed stupidly at John's baiting of their younger brother.
Jack rose to his feet. "You little shit." he said.
"Jack! Sit down, and do not use language like that in this house." his mother said, but Jack didn't hear her his focus was totally taken up with John.
"I'm so scared." John said in a high-pitched voice, however, he still looked to his father hoping that he would draw a close to the confrontation, but Joe Senior's face held no expression. John turned back towards Jack just in time to see him grab the ladle from the bowl of potatoes.
Jack lashed out and caught his brother full in the face with the ladle, mash flew everywhere.
John clutched his face; "Argh, my eye, my eye," he screamed, "you've blinded me you fuckin' asshole."
The room fell absolutely silent. Helen picked pieces of mash from her hair, face, and jumper. Victoria shook her head, but said nothing, Joe Senior and Junior continued to eat as if nothing had happened.
There was a dull clang as Jack allowed the ladle to fall to the kitchen table. "Sorry mum." he said staring blankly into space. He turned and walked out of the room, collected his coat and went out of the back door.
Jack walked for ages in no particular direction. How could she, he thought, without even bothering to tell him. He had always looked upon Jane as a true friend, he would've done anything for her, she knew that. Wasn't that worth something? Obviously not. He really loved her, and even if they were never going to be together, he still wanted her to be happy. Just not in fuckin' London! It was becoming quite apparent what she thought about him - absolutely fuck all, that's what. Maybe his stupid half-wit of a brother hadn't just been teasing, when he said that she had never liked him. Well, they could all go to hell, he didn't need any of them. He could feel anger rising within him. He let out a deep sigh, and some of it dissipated. He suddenly felt pain in both of his palms and was surprised to see when he inspected them that each one displayed four white crescent shapes that were beginning to turn red. He sucked them in turn, but his saliva served only to make the wounds sting more.
By the time he returned home, his dad and brothers had gone to work, and his mother had gone to bed. Only Helen was still around. "Hi Sis." he said taking his coat off. "I'm sorry about before, was mum really upset?"
"I wouldn't worry Jack, she'll be fine in the morning, she’s had to cope with far worse over the years, well we all have, haven't we?"
Jack nodded and sat down.
"I'm sorry for breaking the news about Jane to you like that, but I honestly thought that you would’ve known about it. I know how much you like her."
"Yes, I did like Jane, I liked her a lot, but she's older than me, and if I'm being honest, I think she just regarded me as a kid. I did think she would've told me though, I thought she was a good friend, if nothing else." Jack fell silent, reflecting on the times he'd spent with her, and the fact that his memories were so vivid. He somehow doubted if she remembered the time they’d spent together with such clarity. God, he felt so stupid.
"She's probably got her reasons." Helen said kindly.
"Like she doesn't give a damn one way or the other. I'm sorry sis, but I just feel such an idiot. John was right, that's why I lashed out at him. How is he by the way?
Helen stifled a giggle, "I shouldn't laugh because it wasn't funny, but that'll teach him to make fun of people when they're upset. He's got a real shiner, but he'll live. I'd just stay out of his way for a while, if I were you."
"That won't be a problem, but I can't be doing with him, but why do I feel so bad about someone who I had no chance of ever going out with?"
"Jack, you are not the first person who has loved someone who hasn't loved them back, and believe me, you won't be the last one either."
"Why, has it ever happened to you?"
"Of course, it has, it's happened to everyone at some time or another, but you've just got to get on with your life, that's all. It's her loss, not yours, besides you must start thinking more highly of yourself Jack, and once you do, you'll be amazed at how other people start thinking more highly of you as well."
Jack thought about Helen's words for a moment; "Yes, you're
right." he said smiling bravely. "There's plenty more fish in the sea." but that was the essence of his problem, he didn't want any of the other fish, he wanted Jane.
"That's more like it, it may hurt now, but everything gets better with time, you'll see. I really do mean it about it being Jane's loss. You've got a lot to offer Jack, but you can't go around thumping people whenever they make you feel angry. Oh, you might get away with it in this mad house, but out there, in the real world, it's a different story. You've got to learn to out-think your opponents, not outfight them. And trust me Jack, you're more than capable of doing that."
"Yeah, it's just sometimes I get so mad, that's all." Jack said glancing at his palms. "I just can't seem to help it."
"Well, if you don't learn how to control your temper, it'll end up controlling you."
"Listen, I'm going to bed, thanks for the talk Helen, I do appreciate it."
Helen went over to him and gave him a hug. "Good night, sweetheart." she said embracing him, "I'll see you in the morning."
He lay awake for a long time that night, a myriad of thoughts all trying to occupy his mind at the same time. The only sense he could make of any of it was he realised he was living out the last of his childhood. Times were changing, and he just hoped and prayed they were going to change for the better.
Sam started college, and Jane went to work in London. She had invited him to tea, via Tom, to wish him goodbye, he supposed, but he made an excuse about having to work late because he thought it would be for the best. He wasn't great at goodbyes, and besides, he didn't want to make a fool of himself by becoming emotional in front of her. No, he wanted to forget all about women, for now, and focus his attention on his new job. This was his big chance, his golden opportunity, and he was determined to take it.
9
It had been just over a month since Jane had left, and Tom missed his sister badly. Somehow the house just wasn't the same without her in it. They'd used to argue sometimes, like all brothers and sisters did but on the whole they got along really well. After their father died, he'd had to take over as the man of the house, but he didn't think he would have been able to manage without his big sister's friendship and support.
Has he got ready for work that Monday morning, his thoughts were very much with her. It will be Christmas soon, he thought, and somehow, he just knew she wouldn't be coming home to share it with them. For some reason that he couldn't fathom, he always felt worse about his sister leaving home on a Monday morning. Reluctantly, he finished getting ready and went downstairs.
"Morning mum, morning Sal."
"Morning." they replied in unison. Sally munching a piece of toast whilst reading the newspaper.
"What's happening in the world today then Sal?" Tom asked with a smile. She was really growing up, he thought, realising for the first time that his kid sister had grown breasts, where the hell had they come from?
"Oh, nothing much, there's a big spread on that Jimmy McAvoy who you like, though."
"Jimmy Mcilroy," Tom corrected her smiling to himself. "Thanks Sal, I'll read that later."
Suddenly Sally put down the paper and looked up at him with her big blue eyes.
"What's up?" he asked her.
"You're not going to leave us as well, are you Tom?"
At this their mother turned around from washing the dishes.
"I'm not going anywhere Sal," Tom said looking over and smiling at their mother, "I'd miss mum's home cooking too much. No, seriously sweet pea, I'm going nowhere, you've no worries on that score."
"Good." she said picking up the newspaper again, whilst Elizabeth resumed the washing up.
Tom felt as though the house itself had breathed a sigh of relief at his declaration. However, you'll have to leave eventually, he thought, but found this issue just way too complex for a Monday morning, so he pushed it to the back of his mind.
10
Tom had bought himself a bike shortly after Jack. It wasn't as fancy a model, but it did the job. As he mounted it and set off for work on this sunny October morning, he felt a distinct chill in the air. This was the easy journey, most of it downhill, and the freshness of the wind on his face, as he cut through the air, lifted his spirits. He arrived at work early, so he decided to get a coffee in the canteen.
Having got his drink, he looked around for somewhere to sit. He spotted Christine and Sue from accounts, but they looked engrossed in conversation, so he decided to sit at the table next to them instead. He took a drink of his coffee and heard them both giggle. He felt a little self-conscious sat there on his own staring into space. He wished he'd brought something to read, the newspaper, or a book even, anything that would make him feel a little less conspicuous. He wondered how Jane was getting on, they hadn’t heard from her in over a week, but he supposed they’d have to get used to hearing from her less and less as time went on. However, he decided that it was unfair to expect Jane to have to make all the effort, so he promised himself that he would enlist Jack’s help at the weekend and write a letter to her. He glanced over at the girls, and saw Sue, the dark haired one, whom he quite fancied, staring directly at him. She immediately averted her gaze and whispered something to Christine, and both girls giggled some more.
"Have I done something funny?" Tom asked.
"No, you haven't" Christine, the blonde one replied, "We just had a bet on whether you'd come over and sit with us, that's all,"
"Oh yeah, and who won?"
"I did." Christine said with a look of triumph.
"Well, I'm glad I've given you two girls some entertainment. I'd love to stay and chat, but we've got a lot on today." Tom said getting to his feet and taking another swig of his coffee. "See you later."
"Bye Tom" Sue said.
"Bye Tom" Christine repeated mimicking Sue's tone.
As he departed, Tom laughed to himself, what a way to start the day, he thought.
Down in the loading bay his colleagues were beginning to arrive. Quilter seemed in a good mood. Mind you, Tom was never sure whether that meant good or bad news for him and Jamie.
"Hey Tom, I've got something for you." Quilter said rummaging in his bag. "There was an article in the paper this morning about Jimmy Mcilroy. I know how big a Clarets fan you are, so I brought it in for you."
Tom was just about to tell Quilter that he'd already seen it, but then decided against rebuffing his good gesture.
"Here it is, I put it in the middle of my works diary, to keep it straight.
Tom took it, "Thanks, very much Dave, I'll have a read of that at brew time."
"Harry, I thought I'd show Tom part of the stock control procedure this morning, if that's okay with you?"
What the hell had got into Quilter this morning, Tom thought, first the footy article and now this. Mind you, he was eager to learn the stock control system, so he did not object.
"Yeah, no problem Dave, but don't forget the whole of the Hardman’s delivery has to go upstairs today."
"Yeah, me and Jamie will get cracking on that, as soon as I've got Tom set up, I won't be long."
"Okay Dave, but don’t be long, will you? The delivery is way too big for Jamie to handle on his own."
Tom resisted the urge to smile, so, Harry wasn't totally oblivious to Quilter's laziness after all then.
"Come on then Tom," Quilter said, "I'll start you off with an order that I've already checked off. Therefore, if you make any mistakes with it, it won't matter. I've been meaning to show you the stock control for a while, but I've never got around to it - I've tried teaching Jamie," he whispered, "but he's not really up to it. Don't get me wrong, he's a great lad and a good worker, but I need someone I can rely on in the brains department, if you get what I mean?"
Quilter ran through the checking off procedure with Tom not just once but twice, to ensure that he properly understood it. When he felt as though Tom was fully conversant with the system, he got him started. "Remember Tom," he said, "It's only a practice run, but focus on accuracy instead of spee
d. I'll pop back in a while to see how you're getting on."
Tom nodded and smiled. In fairness, he had to admit that Quilter had certainly been thorough with his instruction, he'd honestly expected him to whizz through it at the speed of light. Oh well, fair play to him. Anyway, he needed to concentrate because he was determined to make a good job of this.
Quilter returned to the loading bay to catch Harry in the middle of one of his yarns about Jessop. Harry had been here right from the start and Christ didn't they know it!
"... and Mr Jessop said, 'Harry's worth three men ...' Mind you, I was a lot younger back then, Jamie, but nevertheless ..."
"Right Harry I'm back, we'll get cracking on hoisting up the Hardman’s delivery, shall we?"
"Okay, lads, I've got a desk full of paperwork that needs attending to, so, I'll leave you two to it, if that's okay?" Harry said looking over at Quilter.
"No problem, Harry. Me and Jamie will make a start on it, and we'll finish it off this afternoon, when Tom returns."
Harry nodded, and began walking over towards his office.
"Oh Harry," Quilter called out.
Harry stopped and turned around.
"Do you think we should change the hoisting ropes; they’re beginning to look a bit frayed in places?"
"I haven't noticed." Harry replied, walking back over.
"The part right at the top in between the two pulleys for instance, can you see it.
Harry looked up craning his neck; "No, that's fine Dave, these ropes have got at least another twelve months left in them. Besides, do you know how much ropes like this cost?
Yeah sorry Harry, I wasn't thinking. And you're right, Jessop would go spare if he discovered that we'd scrapped perfectly decent rope."
Harry set off back to his office and then stopped.
Don't fuckin' change your mind now, you old git. Quilter thought frantically. But he needn't have worried because Harry had only stopped to check his pocket watch, and time check completed, he continued back to his office.
"Right Jamie, which would you prefer to start with, the hoisting or the unloading?" Quilter asked his work colleague.