by Kari Chaplin
“I’m going to the salad bar. Do you want anything?” I asked, hoping to end the subject and get some food.
“Hey, yeah, get me some ranch and croutons.”
I loaded my plate full of salad fixings, not forgetting Myra’s requests.
“Don’t forget to try the frozen yogurt bar before you leave. It’s superb here.”
I looked up from the ranch to see our waiter standing next to me. “I’ll do that.” We smiled at each other. “So, you work here and Othello’s, huh?”
“Yeah, just trying to pay my way through school,” Noah offered.
“Really? What are you studying?”
“Physiology, with an emphasis on dream analogy,” he explained proudly.
I’m sure the fact that I was clueless was apparent on my face. I didn’t understand what the two had in common.
He obviously picked up on my confused façade. “I’m exploring how dreams affect your body overall. The analogy is to find out if the intensity of your dream, good or bad, affects your bodily functions, which includes your organs and natural rhythms.”
“Really? Well, that explains the connection, I guess. Looking for a test subject?”
“Sure. Maybe I can write my thesis on your situation? You know, if you are interested,” he added shyly.
“I haven’t told you about my dreams. Maybe they won’t be interesting enough for your case study.”
“I’m sure they will.”
My cheeks blushed from embarrassment because I wasn’t sure what his answer meant. He didn’t know anything about my dreams.
Noah leaned into my ear and whispered, “Everyone has interesting enough dreams.”
“Okay.” I couldn’t come up with an intelligent response.
I headed back to our table, four rows down from the salad bar. I counted them on the way to the self-serve bar. As I passed the aisle of booths adjacent to our section, I happened to raise my eyes from the ground and saw him. It would have been nice to keep my eyes on the ground for a few more seconds. My feet came to a halt mid-stride, causing me to fall forward just a smidge. It couldn’t be. Demien was sitting at the opposite end of the row from where I was standing. I slowly walked toward him, letting my anger bubble. He was at the bar and now there. I was beginning to wonder if he was following me. As I approached his table, my heart plummeted when I realized it wasn’t him. That man didn’t look that much like him. My eyes were playing tricks on me, or my mind. Whichever the case, I was much too disappointed in the discovery that it wasn’t the man of my dreams. I wanted it to be him.
“Can I help you?” asked the man sitting at the table.
“I’m sorry. I thought you were someone else. Mistaken identity, sorry, again.” …So embarrassing. If I hadn’t been so disappointed that it wasn’t Demien, then I wouldn’t have stood there staring at a stranger like an idiot.
“Wait… not so fast,” the man said softly as his hand reached out for me. “Why don’t you have a seat? We can hang out. I’d like to know your name.”
“Um, no thanks. Someone is waiting for me.” I practically ran back to my table.
When Noah came back to our table, I asked, “Hey, do you want my number or something?”
“I’ll find you.” He dropped off the ticket and left.
“What was that about?” Myra asked as soon as she thought he was out of hearing range. I froze. Did she see the interaction with the stranger an aisle over? Her eyes expressed innocence. My face had to have resembled a deer caught in headlights. My eyes felt as wide as a double-wide trailer home. Before I could figure out how to play that one off, Myra says, “Well? Why does Noah need your number?”
My face relaxed as I let out the breath that I had been holding in. Stammering, I replied, “Oh, oh, yeah, well, he’s studying dreams and stuff. I’ve offered to be a test subject.”
“Why would you do that?” she asked.
“Maybe he can explain these weird dreams I have.”
She shrugged in a very relaxed way, but her eyes expressed otherwise. Something had changed about her.
After we ate, Myra dragged me next door to Allison’s Boutique. She dug through rack after rack of clothes. Things she wanted to try on, she threw on top of me. It sucked to be her shopping bitch, but we had made this agreement a long time ago. If I “assist” her shopping, then she can only spend thirty minutes shopping for clothes. She had never held up her end of the agreement. I would never expect her to, either.
“Let’s go to the bookstore after we leave here,” I said from the outside of the fitting room door.
Myra was trying on a jean skirt. “How is this?” It was medium-dark denim with the broken-in and torn look.
“It’s cute. Bend over.”
She did as I ordered. That was one good thing about being her shopping bitch. She had to obey. “Length isn’t too bad, just wear shorts underneath. I can almost see your butt when you bend over.”
“Eh, extra tips.” She shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly and continued her quest for the perfect shirt from her pile to match the skirt.
We looked at every rack, and I swear she tried on everything she thought might fit her. Her philosophy was, and I quote, “What? Every manufacturer’s size differs. I have to try on everything.” Yes, she always said it exactly like that. I quoted her word for word. I never understood why sizes and measurements couldn’t just be universal. I know I’m a girl, but really, clothes weren’t my thing.
I found myself daydreaming about Demien. I wondered what he was doing at that moment. My mind drifted to his face. That smug, ornery face with those eyes you could get lost in for hours. I wanted to see him. I wanted him to bother me right at that moment.
“Zanj,” Demien whispered. “Help me find...” His whisper trailed off.
My eyes shot around the store looking for him. I quickly scurried through the racks to find if he were playing a game of hide-and-seek with me. There was no sign of him anywhere, but he had to be there somewhere. I heard him call to me. After searching the small boutique and realizing that the bell above the door never rang, I knew he hadn’t been there at all. I must have imagined it. That was weird. I shook it off and headed back to the dressing room just in time to see Myra step out.
“Okay, I’m done. Let’s check out, then off to the bookstore.” Myra’s voice brought me back to reality.
As we entered the bookstore, the aroma of coffee in the air aroused my senses. “Ah, let’s grab a cup of coffee on the way out.”
Myra nodded her head in agreement. “What book are you looking for?”
“I don’t know. Maybe the new releases will have something worthwhile. I have to find something different to keep me entertained.”
“Isn’t that what TV is for?” Myra’s tone was snarky.
“No,” I said.
She let out a rough, throat-clearing laugh. “You know how much I love you, but it sounds like I need to go on and grab a magazine. I’ll wait for you at the coffee shop. I know better than to get between you and books.”
“Okay, I’ll try to be quick.” I let out a short-lived chuckle. She and I both knew that was a lost cause. I tended to get lost, losing track of time and reality when it came to books. Of course, I was even worse in a bedding store.
“No hurry. I have a lot of catching up to do with pop culture.” Myra headed toward the magazine rack.
I turned toward the “Just Released” section and began to browse. A few books seemed to be promising. I took a mental note of the titles and decided to browse the other sections. I started in history and worked my way down aisle after aisle of towering bookshelves. The chatter from shoppers and the soft hum of various machines from the coffee shop quieted into a low buzz. I became increasingly more isolated from the reality going on around me. I was suspended in the bliss that this heaven had to offer.
“Excuse me,” I said when I bumped into another shopper. In my daze, I had forgotten anyone else could be around. I had completely lost myself amongst endles
s shelves of books. Coming back down to Earth left a strange feeling of alertness that had seemed so far away just a few moments earlier. I could feel the weight of gravity again. The hushed noises from the machines seemed louder and more annoying. The fact that I was able to sense the person who I had bumped into, made me angry. My back arched, bringing the hair to a straight stance as my body recognized that feeling. I didn’t have to turn to view the body close to mine... Demien... Somehow, I just knew. The awareness of this soul must have been built into my DNA at conception. I was overpowered by a warm, familiar feeling; the same warmness and belonging I felt at the bar. At that point, I was well aware that nothing else, no one else mattered, just him and me.
I turned around and very rudely asked, “Are you following me, Demien?” I meant for that to sound dramatic, but it was closer to a love-sick teenager, trying to sound tough. Someone please kick some sense into me. I didn’t want to give him any indication of the feelings I had when he was around… or the cold loneliness I felt when he wasn’t.
“What do you mean?” He simulated false innocence. His words sounded serious, but his eyes gave his deception away. I suspected he meant it that way.
“I think you know what I mean,” I scoffed.
“I need a new book. Mine are all worn.” He provided a crooked, confident smile that sent my heart racing and my knees weak.
Stop it, stop it, I demanded of myself. I had to stand my ground. Just because we shared a moment at the Halloween party, didn’t mean he wasn’t bad news. “You were at the bar,” I growled.
He stared into my eyes with his crystallizing gaze.
I could feel the words slipping from my thoughts. I had to concentrate hard to pull my attention back to the conversation, even though I really wanted to do naughty things to him. I wanted him to rush to me and pull me up into his arms as he kissed me passionately. I took a couple of deep breaths to pull me back from that alluring fantasy. I managed to let the rest of my original thought roll off my tongue before I lost the words again. I modified my eyes from a gushy girl in love to a scowl that would spit fire, if that were possible. “I saw you just as Myra jerked me from the bar. You were at the clothing shop. I didn't see you, but I heard your voice. Now you happen to be at the same store and aisle as me.”
He bore into my eyes as if he was releasing his full powers upon me. “Okay? I didn’t realize there was a rule against visiting my place of work before a leisure trip to a bookstore.” He raised one eyebrow, his smirk deepening in amusement. My knees were buckling from overwhelming lust.
I spat, “Yeah, I’m sure you were really looking for a book about…” I realized I didn’t even know what section we were in. I grabbed a book off the shelf to use as a prop. “Stranded on a secluded island with a cowboy servant ready to make all your fantasies come true.” My voice ended in a whisper. “Great, romance,” I said under my breath. I rolled my eyes. How embarrassing. I hated romance. I didn’t know how I ended up here.
“Sci-fi actually is across from your genre of choice.” Demien pointed at the neighboring shelves. His eyes tightened as he snickered.
I threw my hand in the air, cutting him off mid-sentence. “Don’t bother.”
I could tell he was struggling to hold laughter in. I started to walk away when I felt his hand on my shoulder. My body shuttered with delight to his touch. My heartbeat quickened in hopes that he would claim me at that very moment.
“Are you always this aloof?” he purred in my ear, making my toes warm and my hormones jump even higher. His eyes were full of desire and longing. My knees began to give way. I used what strength I had left to shake his hand off my shoulder.
“To you,” I hesitated for a moment to gather strength. “Yes. I don’t like you.” I managed to stumble away, tripping over the edge of a bookshelf. “Damn it,” I muttered in frustration.
“Yes, you do,” I could almost hear him smirk, with that stupid smile plastered on his face.
I didn’t have to look at him to see that too familiar expression on his face. I know him too well, I repeated the absurd thoughts to myself during my storm off. I grumbled all the way to the coffee shop. Without warning, a realization hit me like a brick. I stopped, shocked at my thoughts. “I know him too well. Where did that come from? I don’t know him. This guy really makes me crazy. There is something about him that is not... I can’t quite think of the right word. Human?” I angrily murmured to myself as I entered the threshold of the café. The award-winning grumbles continued as I obsessed over our interaction. I knew the patrons were staring at the crazy girl talking to herself, but I couldn’t have cared less at that moment. Our interaction played over and over in my head. Other than pissing me off and confusing me, I had a strong feeling that I was overlooking something extremely obvious and important. I couldn’t shake the feeling.
I snapped out of my daze to realize I was standing in the middle of the coffee shop with eyes glued to me. That is, everyone’s eyes except Myra. I made a full circle in search of her several times, but I couldn’t find her. I spun circles as I tried to spot her, stuck in the same spot. She wasn’t there. She said she’d be in the coffee shop.
“Vessi,” I heard her voice from afar. I turned around to see her jogging over from the registers. “Ready?”
“Yeah, let’s get out of here.” I angrily pulled her outside.
“What’s your problem?” She jerked her arm from my hand. I hadn’t realized the strength to my grip.
“I bumped into Demien. Ugh! He pisses me off.” My tone was filled with hurt and anger. I couldn’t explain why I was so emotional. Our interaction wasn’t all that dramatic. I couldn’t deny the tension, but there hadn’t been enough drama to warrant my overreaction.
“What did he do?” Her features glowed with concern. She appeared a little frightening to me for the first time in our lives. I had never seen this side to her.
“Nothing,” I yelled.
“Well, did he say something,” she asked, frustrated.
“No! Just the look of him makes my skin crawl.” That was all true, but he made my skin crawl in an intensely fantastic way. I wanted him never to go away and never to take that feeling away from me.
We got into the car and headed to Myra’s house.
“I just don’t understand your hatred for Demien. He’s never done anything to you.” Myra’s eyes turned serious. “Has he? If he did anything to you, I’ll hurt him.” Her fist was balled up, hitting the palm of her other hand.
“Myra, no, he’s never hurt me. He infuriates me.” I rolled my eyes. I didn’t want to talk about it anymore. I had exhausted myself emotionally for no decent reason.
After dropping off Myra in her driveway, I headed home and went straight to bed. I was exhausted.
The night’s dream started off with me staring into Demien’s cold, black eyes, surrounded by deep purple azaleas. He handed me a bouquet of Queen of the Night orchids while pulling me in close. Kissing the top of my head, his lips moved down slowly and seductively until they found my expectant lips. It was a soft, yet powerful kiss, leaving me dizzy and wanting more. His hands ran down my sides, finding a resting place on my hips. My hips erupted with tingles as butterflies exploded in my stomach. There was tension in the air. Our breathing was hard and rushed. He slowly encircled my waist, leaving hot streaks of longing each place his hands passed. I felt my body rise until I was no longer straining my neck to look into his eyes. We stared into each other’s eyes for a long moment. His eyes expressed pain. He slowly lowered me until my feet found ground once more.
“For reasons I can’t explain, you must stay away from me.”
“What do you mean? I can’t stay away. I love you, Demien.” Tears began to fill my eyes.
“I love you, but I am dangerous. I am not good for you…” he whispered in my ear. “… Anymore.”
I cried harder. “I can’t stay away. You can’t leave me, not again. I need you. I love you.” I barely finished the words through hysterics.
“Shhh…” He wiped my eyes with his thumbs. “You must,” he said, as he unfurled his marvelous wings. His wings were a medium charcoal color with black streaks. They were glorious in girth and height. He let go of me and hovered in the air. “I will always love you. I will find my way back to you. I promise you that.” Then, he was gone.
I woke up feeling heartbroken. I was more than heartbroken… I was devastated. I didn’t know what to think of this dream. It was beyond bizarre and depressing. Why would he leave me? The idea made me angry and deeply destroyed. I stayed in bed for a long while until I could collect myself. I had to leave the dream behind me and face the day. Honestly, I had no idea how I would be able to leave it behind. I needed to know he was still there. I figured the only way to settle down was to go to work.
After getting ready for the day, I headed to Myra’s to pick her up. I couldn’t get the sadness and loneliness out of my heart. I knew it was just a dream, but I couldn’t seem to shake the feelings. Anxiety flooded me. I was so afraid that I wouldn’t see him again. The grim clouds over my head followed me throughout the morning. I had to get to work as fast as I could manage. Luckily, Myra would be waiting in her drive, as usual.
“Hey, Ves. How are you?” Myra hopped in the car before it technically stopped rolling.
“I’m okay. How are you?” I replied, emotionless.
“You don’t seem okay. Are you still upset about your little run in with Demien last night?”
“No, it was another dream. I’m okay, though. I guess I just didn’t sleep very well. Let’s just get to work. I need the distraction.”
Fifteen
“So, tell me, what kind of dreams have you been experiencing?” Noah asked me as I served him a glass of Merlot.
“Well, it’s kind of a long story,” I began slowly. I was nervous about relaying them to a perfect stranger. My dreams have always felt so intimate. “I’ve had these dreams my entire life. I don’t think I have time to discuss them now. How did you find me, anyway?”