‘I understand. Cal told me you’ve had to work very hard to encourage them out. I don’t want to disturb them, Tiggy. Would you prefer me to leave?’
‘Of course not! You’re the one who has offered them their lovely new home. They are incredibly temperamental, but it’ll be worth it if we can get them to breed.’
‘Even if they’re hardly cuddly giant pandas,’ Charlie said ruefully.
‘Now they would pull in the crowds.’ I smiled.
‘Well, rather than me disturbing them further, shall we walk for a while instead?’ he suggested as I tipped the cats’ daily dose of meat into the enclosure.
‘Okay,’ I agreed.
After making our way back up the slope, we meandered in silence until we reached a rocky outcrop, which we climbed to give us the best vantage point for the sunrise. As the lucent, peachy rays began to emerge from behind the mountains, I turned to him.
‘How does it feel to know that all of this is yours?’ I asked.
‘Honestly?’ He looked down at me.
‘Honestly.’
‘Terrifying. Give me the responsibility of saving a human life over sorting out Kinnaird any day. At least I know what I’m doing in a hospital – there’s a methodical approach that will either fix the problem or won’t. Whereas this . . .’ Charlie indicated the wild terrain, ‘is largely beyond my control. Even though I want to do my best for Zara and future Kinnairds, I wonder if it’s just too much for me to take on. Everything I’d like to accomplish seems to involve yet more expense and a long timescale.’
‘But it’s all so worthwhile,’ I breathed, unable to prevent my arms gesturing expansively at the incredible landscape that lay all around us, glistening with a life of its own in the emerging sunlight. He stared at me for a second, then followed my lead and gazed out across the glen, inhaling deeply as he surveyed what was effectively his kingdom.
‘You know what?’ he said after a pause, during which his shoulders seemed to relax and release some of their tension. ‘You’re right. I have to remain positive about it, realise how lucky I am.’
‘You are lucky, yes, but I totally understand how it must feel overwhelming. We’re all behind you though, Charlie, really we are.’
‘Thanks, Tiggy.’
Spontaneously, he reached out to briefly touch the sleeve of my ski jacket, and our eyes locked for a moment. I pulled mine away first and the moment was gone as swiftly as it had arrived.
Charlie cleared his throat. ‘Listen, I want to apologise for that unfortunate scene you witnessed last night.’
‘Don’t worry about it. I hope it got sorted anyway.’
‘No it didn’t, and it never will be,’ he said abruptly. ‘I didn’t sleep a wink last night, which is why I got up early and came down here. I thought some fresh air might clear my head.’
‘I’m sorry, Charlie, for whatever it was. My father used to tell me that there were some problems you could sort out, and the ones that you couldn’t, you just had to accept, close the door and move on.’
‘Your father sounds like a very wise man. Unlike me,’ he said with a shrug. ‘But he’s right. Fraser’s back at Kinnaird for reasons unknown and there’s nothing I can do. Right, I’d better go back or Beryl’s full Scottish breakfast will be getting cold.’
‘She won’t like that,’ I smiled.
‘She certainly won’t,’ he agreed as we turned to make our way back towards our respective dwellings. ‘Where are you spending today?’
‘Margaret’s invited me to her new bungalow for lunch.’
‘Send her my best, won’t you? I’ve always been very fond of her,’ Charlie said as we paused in front of the Lodge. ‘Merry Christmas once again, Tiggy. Thanks for your company this morning. And I hope we’ll get a chance to talk some more.’
‘I hope so too. Merry Christmas, Charlie.’
*
Margaret’s bungalow was everything a new bungalow should be and we both made appreciative noises as she demonstrated how the taps produced immediate hot water, and we touched all the radiators and flipped the channels on the television.
‘This is so cosy, Margaret,’ I said as she guided me to a new pink Dralon sofa and handed me a whisky. She looked well and rested, and her two dogs and the cat were sleeping peacefully in front of the fire.
‘I must say, I don’t miss gettin’ up at the crack o’ dawn. After all those years, it’s a true luxury to have a lie-in until seven! Now yae relax, Tiggy, and I’ll be seein’ to our lunch.’
I sipped my whisky slowly, the heat trickling pleasantly down my throat, and I eventually followed her to the small table that she’d dressed with a ruby-red poinsettia and candles. While I enjoyed my nut roast, made the way only she knew how, Margaret tucked into a turkey breast.
‘How was the Christmas Eve ceilidh at the Lodge last night?’ she asked me. ‘Was Zara there?’
‘I was really tired so I didn’t stay for the dancing, but yes I did meet Zara. She’s quite a character,’ I said, suppressing a smile. ‘Actually, when I left the Lodge, there was this really tall man hanging around outside. Then Charlie came out and . . . well,’ I shrugged, ‘he didn’t seem very pleased to see him.’
‘Yae say he was tall?’
‘Very,’ I confirmed. ‘And he had what I think was an American accent.’
‘Canadian, more like. No . . . it couldn’t be.’ Margaret set her fork down and stared into the candlelight.
‘His name was Fraser,’ I prompted. ‘Charlie said so this morning.’
‘Then it was him! What on earth is that lowlife doin’ back here? Hah!’ Margaret took a deep swig of her whisky then thumped the table. ‘I’d bet I know.’
‘Know what?’
‘Nothin’, Tiggy, but yae stay clear o’ him. He’s trouble in a teapot, that one. Poor Charlie – that’s all he needs just now. I wonder if he knows?’ Margaret mused to herself, obviously not inclined to share. ‘Anyway, we’ll be forgettin’ about him. It’s Christmas Day after all.’
I nodded compliantly, not wishing to upset her. After lunch, we sat down and I enjoyed one of her homemade mince pies. We watched the Queen’s traditional Christmas Day speech and after that, Margaret dozed whilst I did the washing-up. I did my best not to think about Pa and the fact I really missed all my sisters and the sense of belonging they gave me. Even if we were a disparate bunch, with zero blood links between any of us, our Christmas gatherings had always been warm and massively comforting, glued together by our traditions. We all used to decorate the tree together on Christmas Eve, then Pa would lift Star up to put ‘herself’ on the very top of the tree. Claudia, our housekeeper, always prepared the most amazing food, and while everyone else tucked into meat fondue or goose, I’d have little vegan treats made just for me. Then, feeling deliciously full and warm, we’d open our presents together in the sitting room, the windows glazed with snow and the stars in the night sky winking through. On Christmas morning, we’d run into Pa’s bedroom to wake him up, then go downstairs for one of Claudia’s traditional sweet crêpe breakfasts, followed by a brisk walk, warmed afterwards by a mug of her mulled wine.
When Margaret woke up, we had a cup of tea and a slice of her fantastic Christmas cake, the remainder of which she insisted I take with me to share with Cal. I indicated the already darkening sky and the few flakes of snow beginning to fall beyond the window.
‘I think I should get going.’
‘O’ course, Tiggy, yae be careful driving home now, and drop by any time you’re in town.’
‘I will, Margaret,’ I promised as I kissed her goodbye. ‘Thank you for today. It was lovely.’
‘Have yae met Chilly yet by the way?’ she called to me as I climbed into Beryl.
I realised that in the build-up to Christmas, I’d forgotten all about him.
‘No, but I promise I will soon.’
‘Yae make sure you do that, dear. Goodbye now.’
*
I woke at my usual early hour on Boxing Day
and went to feed the cats. The snow was thick this morning, and as I threw in their meat rations, I couldn’t blame them for staying snug in their beds. I was surprised but gratified to find Charlie waiting for me when I emerged from the enclosure.
‘Good morning, Tiggy, I hope you don’t mind me coming down again. I woke up early and couldn’t seem to get back to sleep.’
‘It’s no problem, Charlie,’ I assured him.
‘Shall we walk again for a while? Unless you’ve somewhere else you have to be,’ he added.
‘I’ve nothing waiting for me at the cottage except a smelly old deerhound and a lame hedgehog. Even Cal has abandoned me. He’s with his family in Dornoch.’
Charlie laughed. ‘I see.’
As we set off, he seemed much more positive about the estate, pointing out favourite spots, and telling me more of its history.
‘There used to be an amazing house that looked like a medieval castle and stood just to the right of the Lodge,’ he explained. ‘That’s where all the lairds and their families lived until the 1850s, when my great-great-grandfather managed to burn it down by falling asleep with a big fat cigar. He went up with the place – he was well into his eighties by then – and the whole lot was razed to the ground. You can still see the foundations in the copse next to the Lodge.’
‘Wow, you have so much family history, whereas I have none.’
‘Is that a blessing or a curse, I wonder? It’s certainly weighed me down recently, that’s for sure. Although it really helped me talking to you yesterday, Tiggy. I think I’d almost become immune to the beauty of Kinnaird in recent months, viewing it more as a liability than an asset.’
‘Well, that’s understandable, Charlie. It’s a huge responsibility.’
‘It’s not just that,’ he admitted. ‘It’s also the fact that it somewhat threw my vision of my own future off course.’
‘What was your vision?’
There was a long pause, as if he was debating whether or not to confide in me.
‘Well, I’d been thinking about going abroad to work as a doctor with Médecins Sans Frontières once Zara has finished school. The NHS is a wonderful institution, but its staff are weighed down by paperwork and government budgets. I just want to be free to use my skills where they’re really needed, somewhere I could really make a difference.’
‘I know exactly what you mean. I’ve always dreamt of working with endangered species in Africa. Not that I don’t adore the wildcats, of course, but—’
‘I understand,’ Charlie cut me short, but smiled sympathetically. ‘This is hardly the African savannah. It sounds as though we share a similar dream.’
‘Well, dreams take time to come true and even then, they’re not always in the places we expect to find them. I suppose we have to be patient and concentrate on what we have today.’
‘Yes, you’re right, and talking of that, have you had a chance to think of any other breeds we could introduce here?’
‘I reckon red squirrels are definitely one for the future, when the reforestation is more advanced. I’ve been researching the wild salmon you mentioned, but restocking sounds quite complicated, and as I told you, I’m not a fish expert, so I’ll need to pick an expert’s brain. In the meantime, I think European elks could be the next step – I might know someone at Servion Zoo who could advise us. Although obviously we’d need a budget; I was thinking you might be able to apply for some grants.’
‘Tell me about it,’ Charlie sighed. ‘I’ve been trying to fill in a grant application to the Rural Development Programme here in Scotland, as well as a couple to the EU, but they’re a nightmare. I simply don’t have enough time to gather the information in the detail they want.’
‘I could help you, I’ve got plenty of time on my hands.’
‘Could you? Have you any experience in that area?’
‘Yes, at uni and at Servion Zoo I had to apply for funding for research projects. I’ve only done a few, but I vaguely know my way around the bureaucracy of it all.’
‘Well, that would be incredible. I’ve been tearing my hair out over the applications. I’ve been either at the hospital or had my head bent over legal paperwork ever since my father died. My wife keeps trying to convince me to either sell up or convert the place into a golf course, and I don’t blame her.’
‘I hear she took over the renovations of the Lodge. She did a great job, it’s stunning.’
‘Yes, even though the project came in at way over the original budget. But it’s unfair of me to criticise her. It’s not been easy for her and she was only trying to help.’
‘And I’m sure the Lodge will attract discerning clients in future,’ I said firmly as Charlie glanced at his watch.
‘Yes, right, I need to get back. Perhaps I can bring over the application forms to the cottage – as far as I’ve got with them – for you to have a look through at some point?’
‘Any time, Charlie.’
*
By the time I got back to the cottage, a bitter wind was howling along the glen, so after I’d eaten breakfast, I lit a fire and curled up on the sofa with a book. Last night, knowing Cal was away, I’d let Thistle into the cottage and this morning he was back on my doorstep. He promptly attempted to climb onto my lap, and, eventually, I turfed him off and he curled up at my feet, his wheezing snores and the gentle crackling of the fire comforting me as I read.
I jumped as I heard feet stamping on the mat outside. If it was Cal, I knew I was in for a mouthful about Thistle, but instead, a pair of bright blue eyes appeared round the door.
‘Hi, Tiggy, am I disturbing you?’ said Zara.
‘Not at all, I was just reading,’ I said as I sat upright. ‘Are you having a nice Christmas?’
‘Any day is nice when I’m at Kinnaird,’ she said as she sat down next to me on the sofa. Thistle immediately bounded over to her and put his head in her lap. ‘I drove to Deanich Glen this morning – Mum and Dad were having another of their rows – so I went for some peace and quiet. It’s fantastic down there, have you been?’
‘No, but Zara, should you really be driving out there alone? The roads are treacherous in this snow . . .’
‘I’ve been driving around the estate since I was ten, Tiggy! This is our land, remember? I don’t need a licence or anything here. I take a radio and a hot flask and stuff in case anything goes wrong – I know the rules, okay? I went to give Chilly his Christmas box. I stole a bottle of Dad’s whisky to perk it up.’ Zara gave me a conspiratorial wink. ‘We shared a dram and a few rollies. Even though he’s mad and he smells terrible, he’s more fun than anyone else round here. Except you, of course.’
‘My friend Margaret was talking about him yesterday. I’d love to go and meet him.’
‘I can take you down whenever, if you want. It’s probably best if I introduce you to him first and explain who you are, because he doesn’t take well to strangers.’
‘A bit like my wildcats.’ I smiled at her.
‘Yeah, exactly. So, how about – in return for taking you to meet Chilly – I get to say hello to them? I’m very quiet on my feet like you are, Tiggy, promise, and I really would love to meet them. What are their names?’
I told her, thinking that if I did take Zara to see them, how could I explain it to her mother after I’d shooed her away?
‘Why don’t I see how sociable they’re feeling tomorrow? I’m just paranoid about them scenting strangers and going back into hiding.’
‘I understand, Tiggy. I’m here until just before Hogmanay, so I have a few days yet. And while I’m here, I was wondering if I could . . . be your assistant, or something? Follow you round and see what you actually do?’
‘I’m afraid at the moment, until we’ve arranged to bring other animals onto the estate, the cats are the highlight of my working day.’
Zara checked the time on her mobile. ‘I’d better be off. We’ve got a load of neighbours coming for dinner and Mum’s forcing me to wear a dress!’ She rolled her eye
s, stood up and walked to the door. ‘If it’s okay with you, I’ll swing by tomorrow around noon.’
‘You’re welcome here any time. Bye, Zara.’
‘See you, Tiggy.’
*
Zara appeared the following lunchtime, and I was glad to have her. Cal had been out on a shoot all morning and I really was feeling like a lonely old spinster.
‘Hi, Tiggy.’ She smiled as she stepped through the front door. ‘I’m going down to Deanich Glen to take Chilly his lunch, so how about I introduce you to him?’
‘That would be great.’ I grabbed my outerwear. ‘Lead the way.’
Once Zara was strapped into the passenger seat next to me, we set off. The bitter wind of yesterday had died overnight and it was a pure, fresh sunny day. The snow glittered all around us as I steered the car down the slope, innocently blanketing the treacherous ice that lay beneath it. Zara gave me directions then chattered away about how boring last night’s dinner had been and how she was dreading going back to her school on the North Yorkshire moors after New Year.
‘Just ’cos generations of Kinnaird ancestors went there, doesn’t make it right for me. Isn’t it ridiculous that at sixteen you can legally get married, have sex and smoke, but at boarding school you still get treated like a ten-year-old, with lights out at nine thirty!’
‘It’s only eighteen months, Zara. It’ll pass in a flash, really.’
‘We’re not around that long on this earth, so why waste all that time – like, over five hundred and forty days, ’cos I counted – being somewhere I hate?’
I secretly agreed, but the sensible adult I’d become knew better than to say so. ‘Life is full of ridiculous rules, but there are also some good ones put in place to protect us all.’
‘Do you have a boyfriend, Tiggy?’ Zara asked me as she directed me across the little river and along a narrow wooden bridge, the water on the rocks below us frozen into incredible ice sculptures.
‘No. Do you?’
‘Sort of. I mean, there’s someone I really like at school.’
The Moon Sister Page 7