When he confessed this to me, the first thing I did the following day, was to stop at a sporting goods store. I grabbed a wooden baseball bat, a couple of balls, and a leather glove. When I suggested some practice, his big blue eyes came alive. Seeing his delighted reaction tugged at my heartstrings, he’d missed it so much.
Most of all he was thrilled I offered pointers and some coaching. When I saw he had a natural ability, I spoke with Billie and told her I thought Colby had a lot of potential. She agreed any sport was a great way of keeping fit and building kids’ confidence.
From what I’d learned of Colby, I knew he was quite reserved. Not as shy as his mom, but I figured it wouldn’t have taken much for him to close himself off and become resigned to fitting in with the needs of others, much like I’d suspected his mom had done.
When I heard him talk negatively about Logan, I decided to call him on Colby’s behalf. I explained how excited Colby had been when I suggested he try to get back into baseball, but told his father it was very important for him to commit to Colby’s practices and any games he played, even if they happened during his visitation time with his son.
I was surprised when Logan confessed he’d never played baseball, not even as a child. His parents were football fans, but Logan himself had not been an athletic child. We agreed I’d support Colby’s learning of the sport, and after a few more minutes of conversation, Logan himself agreed to facilitate him to attend any games during his weekend visits with him.
Once I had brought Colby up to speed with his pitching and batting techniques, I tracked down the coach for the Little League team near his school that he had played with. Explaining Colby’s situation and the reason why his participation had lapsed Colby was welcomed back. As a thank-you for the coach’s understanding, I offered to become a sponsor of the team.
As Colby was back in school and Billie’s routines for them had settled down, I had felt better about leaving them for a tour. Through my contacts I’d managed to pull together a seventeen-date tour in twenty-six days and this was a pretty full-on schedule.
The tour took was eventually scheduled for late September, which was much later than expected, due to rehearsals, Colby’s tenth birthday and having space and one thing or another. Most of the venues had been great about slotting us in, and I’d prayed my organization would keep Wiggy out of trouble and support Strings to gain favor with his bank manager for a while. My thoughts were if the tour went smoothly, there was room for a slightly longer one next time out.
From the moment we knew we were heading out on the road the band had been full-on with rehearsals. With those, and Colby’s baseball schedule, I had struggled to find some quality time with Billie. The closer the date came to ‘Tour Day’ the more I’d dreaded going away.
Leaving home had a very different feeling to every other tour I’d done. It was the first time I felt worried about leaving, and I hoped to hell Logan didn’t pull any manipulative moves on Billie and Colby while I was gone. I never worried about Charlotte when I left.
Kissing Billie goodbye was heartbreaking, and I was torn between feeling excited about playing again and the heavy weight in my chest over leaving the love of my life and my sweet little stepson behind.
The hardest part was actually leaving the apartment as we’d had so many great months there together, and I was sad our life was changing again. However, I knew it was necessary at the same time if I wanted the band to continue. I was glad there wasn’t a long goodbye as Hammer and Wiggy were already waiting in a car outside. Being picked up and not leaving under my own steam had reduced the time we’d had for long drawn out goodbyes.
“Damn, dude, you’ve got it bad. Does she take it up the ass?” Wiggy asked, totally disrespecting my wife.
The crack of skin on skin registered with me long before I realized I’d slapped him. Hammer’s huge hand gripped my wrist.
“Sawyer, for fuck’s sake, dude,” he admonished, but there was no way I was going to allow any man to talk in such degrading terms about my wife.
“Mind your mouth,” I ground out, as my aggression rose from the pit of my stomach. “Never talk about my wife like that again, do you hear me?”
“Yeah, fuck, chill, I’m sorry.”
“Sorry you opened that fat mouth of yours and let it spew shit as usual, Wiggy? Don’t you know it’s better to keep people guessing as to whether you’re stupid, rather than to prove it? When the fuck are you going to grow up and be a man?” My dark mood wasn’t my only reason for calling him out. We had a long month ahead of us and my tolerance for his less than subtle crass remarks had expired from that very first day he’d used wise cracks about Billie.
“Fuck, between you two, it’s like going on tour with two dads,” he muttered under his breath.
“Is that so? If you’re smart you’d keep your thoughts to yourself, or I’ll be forced to give you another slap myself, ‘cause I’m tiring of your shit as well,” Hammer added, which made me turn to eye him cautiously. He’d always been the peacekeeper in the group, so I imagined the previous few months spent supporting Wiggy since my honeymoon, hadn’t been as smooth sailing as I’d been led to believe.
“Are we doing the right thing going out on the road?” I probed.
They both answered in a heartbeat, “Yes.”
“Then don’t make me regret this decision,” I stated, staring pointedly at Wiggy until he grew uncomfortable and looked away. “Another comment about my wife, and it won’t be rehab you’ll be visiting for care next time, it’ll be a trip to the ER.” The shock on his face told me my words had hit home because I’d never been one for violence. From his stunned reaction, I saw he finally felt the gravity of my words and the deep feelings I had for Billie.
* * *
We picked up Strings and it was the first time we’d all been in one place in almost ten long months. We were headed to Oregon and our tour was due to take us down the North Pacific Highway, taking in San Francisco, Los Angeles, San Diego, Phoenix and finally finishing at The Palms Resort in Las Vegas.
Strings made us laugh when he told us about his sister’s new boyfriend, and how he’d fanboyed over Strings, much to Monica’s disgust. He began delivering one-liners and banter and Hammer joined in. Wiggy sat quietly and listened, which told em he’d taken my advice and kept his thoughts to himself.
At one point, I sat staring at Wiggy on the plane, mouth open, eyes closed, and dead to the world in sleep. It was easy to see he was clean because he’d been bored and distracted, then eventually he’d fallen asleep. Normally fidgety, he was completely still.
Sorry was my strongest feeling in relation to Wiggy. I knew I should’ve felt bad for hitting him, but I didn’t … not even a little. This thought worried me because it was my failing for letting him get to me, but I also knew if our band was to continue with the current line up, Wiggy needed to toe the line. He also needed to learn, if he wanted anything in life he had to begin to behave as if it wasn’t an automatic right or he didn’t already own it. Privilege, respect and acceptance had to be earned.
We all felt beat by the time we checked into our hotel in Portland and headed to the restaurant for a quick dinner before bed. Strings and I had our own rooms, but Hammer and Wiggy were sharing, with the understanding if Hammer hooked up I’d look after Wiggy for the night.
There was a note on the account that no alcohol was to be served to their room and indeed the barman was told not to supply Wiggy with anything other than soda, fruit juice or water. We’d stayed in the same place a few times before and the staff all knew us and had been used to this request in respect to Hammer. The hotel room minibar had been stripped out and filled instead with sodas and fruit juices, candy, and chocolate. There was also a supply of fruit, chips, and nuts. I was determined to do everything I could to keep my band on track.
“Sawyer?” A sweet girl’s voice asked as we were sitting down to eat. I turned my head, a frown creasing my brow because the way she said it was as if she knew me.
“Oh, My, Goodness, it is you,” said this very beautiful redhead, who looked vaguely familiar. My curious eyes took in her flaming red hair, sweet pretty features, and a Cupid’s bow mouth, but my mind came up empty and I couldn’t quite place her. Taking in the rest of my group I saw uncertainty flash through her eyes. “You are Sawyer Wild, yes? You don’t remember me?”
“I’d definitely remember you, sweetheart,” Wiggy chipped in with a leering tone. Turning toward him, I scowled, my lips pressed in a line of frustration, my narrow eyes warning him to knock it the fuck off. Taking my hint he dropped his gaze to his flatware, picked up a spoon and studied his reflection in the back of it.
Shoving my chair back, I stood knowing I knew her from somewhere, and felt slightly embarrassed I didn’t recall her name. For a moment I thought I’d fucked her, but something told me that wasn’t it, so I smiled slowly, looked sheepish, and shook my head.
“Forgive me, I meet so many people, it’s hard to keep track sometimes,” I answered, honestly.
“Antonia Bennett?” she asked, and my eyes widened in sudden recognition.
“Fuck, Toni?” I questioned, already knowing it was her. Of course it’s her. Toni’s father and mine were joint CEOs of a Fortune 500 company, but I hadn’t seen her since she was about fourteen years old.
Last I’d heard she had gone to a Swiss finishing school, but by then I’d grown up, left home, and was living with Charlotte. Toni was a couple of years younger, but we’d once spent a family summer at my father’s’ luxury cabin on Lake Tahoe’s north shore.
“Have you eaten?” she asked, glancing down at the table we had been seated at, which was only big enough for four people. Taking one look at the guys, I shook my head. “Just got into town, we were grabbing a bite before bed. You?” I asked, already knowing the answer. My mind raced because Toni was a very refined girl when I knew her, and the last thing I had wanted was more crass remarks from Wiggy toward her.
“No, I’ve been here since yesterday, my meeting was postponed until tomorrow and I was going stir-crazy. I hate eating alone, but I forced myself down here at the risk of going mad otherwise.”
Turning to the guys I began to introduce them, but I had already decided in my head we’d ask for another table to talk. There was no way I wanted to catch up with her in front of them for several reasons; they’d have no clue who we were talking about, Wiggy’s unpredictability, and the wealth aspect that may have crept into the conversation. The guys knew I came from money, but I was the last to thrust the extent of this in their faces.
“These are my bandmates, Hammer, Strings, and Wiggy.
Wiggy had been about to stand up and Hammer tugged on his jacket. “Stay.” I smirked at Hammer’s order.
“If you guys don’t mind, I’ll grab another table for Toni and I, we’ve got a decade or more to catch up on.” Without waiting for a reply, I waved the waiter who’d brought us some drinks over and asked him to seat Toni and me somewhere else.
Once seated, she grinned sweetly and I remembered her pretty face from all those years ago. I recalled she’d had an infectious laugh back then too. “So, a band, huh? I always thought you were a rock star,” she stated, confidence positively oozing from her.
“Yeah,” I chuckled. “Not so much a star as a musician. It’s always been about music, not fame.”
She nodded, grabbing the pitcher of ice water from the table and pouring herself a glass.
“I swooned when you sang at Lake Tahoe,” she admitted, and I chuckled. I must have been all of sixteen when I last sang in front of her. “I had a huge crush on you back then.”
My eyes widened. “You did?” I replied, playfully.
“You’re even better looking now than you were back then.”
“I’m also very married these days,” I stated, proudly waving my hand with my shiny gold band on it.
“Pity,” she replied, leaning forward and placing her elbows on the table, which was totally against the normal etiquette for a girl of her standing.
“Are you hitting on me, Toni?” I chuckled, remembering her wicked sense of humor and thought she was being a tease.
“Would it matter if I was?” she asked, narrowing her eyes and staring more intently.
“Yeah, I think so,” I said, the flat tone in my voice falling into line with the heavy feeling in my chest.
“In what way?” she asked, flicking her flame red mane behind her shoulders.
“I’d have to say it was lovely seeing you again, but no thank you,” I told her politely.
“Hmm, and what would it take to change your mind?”
“Nothing.” She grinned and I realized she thought I meant I could be persuaded. “I mean nothing could change my mind, Toni. I’m totally off the market. My gorgeous wife is everything to me.”
After a few moments, she reached into her glass of water and bobbed the ice with her finger before she sighed. “Sorry,” she mumbled, quietly.
“That’s okay, Toni, no harm done. But if you don’t mind, I’m going to go back and join my band, this wasn’t a good idea. I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression.” Standing, I nodded my dismissal, wondering briefly what the fallout would be if this got back to my father. Shrugging off that thought, I knew there was no way I had wanted to spend another minute in her company, no matter what history we’d had. “It was nice seeing you again, but I’m newly married and here to work.” Walking back to my bandmates’ table, I hadn’t cared if I’d embarrassed her; she shouldn’t have hit on me like that.
“What was that about?” Strings asked, seeing Toni stand and leave the restaurant without eating.
“Like I said, just someone I knew from high school, we caught up and now I’m back.”
“So what happened to the decade catch-up?”
“We weren’t on the same page as to the kind of catch-up she wanted.”
“Damn, I’d have caught up with her for you, is she open to friend requests?” Wiggy asked and snorted.
“I don’t think you’ll be up to the task, dude, she’s a maneater from the way she came on to me,” I clipped back sarcastically, and my other two bandmates chuckled.
Chapter Twenty
The consequence of sleeping alone was I found it evaded me for most of the night. A huge part of me was missing, and try as I may, I just couldn’t fall over to sleep. At 3:00 a.m. I remembered it was 6:00 a.m. in New York and Skype called Billie. It was about thirty minutes earlier than her usual alarm, but I had a wicked plan.
“Hey,” she said huskily, and my heart ached to hold her.
“Morning, beautiful.” She gave me a sleepy yawn and held the phone above her head for a few seconds. I heard her grunt and groan, and I imagined her stretching. I heard her shift in the bed, the camera wobbling around the room as she changed position then her beautiful sleepy face stared back at me.
“What are you doing awake? I t’s three in the morning where you are.”
“I wanted to start your day off right,” I disclosed and she chuckled.
“And what did you have in mind?” she teased, playfully.
“Go to my closet,” I demanded.
“No, it’s toasty in here under the covers.” She told me.
I chuckled. “Didn’t I hear obey in those vows you took when you insisted on traditional ones?”
She chuckled. “I don’t think that means literally these days.”
“Hmm, are you going or not?” I heard her groan her disapproval and the bedding rustled as she got out of bed and walked into my closet.
“All right, I’m here, what now?” she asked showing me my storage racks.
“Lift up that brown box on the first shelf there and open it.”
“A gift?” she asked, when I knew she’d seen the plain brown package I’d left. I grinned in anticipation of what her likely reaction would be when she found what was inside.
“Don’t open it yet, take it back to bed.”
“It doesn’t rattle,” sh
e muttered, as the camera lens took in some of the room and I heard her climb back into bed.
“Are you there yet?” I waited for her to show me her face again.
She turned the camera back to her face. “I am. What now?”
“Okay, open the package.” I sat waiting excited as I heard the paper being torn and held my breath for her reaction to what was inside. I felt wickedly playful and a smile tugged at my lips.
“What the hell …” I chuckled at her incredulous tone. “Lush 2?” she mumbled, as she brought it in range of the camera and turned it over to read the instructions. I’d bought her a pink vibrator. I belly laughed.
“Sawyer! I can wait twenty-six days, I hadn’t had sex for ages before I got with you.”
“You may be willing to wait, but I’m not.”
“What do you mean?” she asked, her brows knitting together and I stared in disbelief that she didn’t get it.
“Here’s the deal, Wife,” I began and stifled a laugh. I watched her drag her eyes from the naughty gadget packaging to the screen. “When you get to work today I want you to check into the bathroom and put that little toy in place.”
“Put it in place?”
“Yeah, follow the instructions and we’ll play a game.”
“I’m not wearing this at work,” she said, waving the package at me as she glared indignantly toward the screen.
“Go on, it’ll be fun.,” I urged with a grin. “Check out the app I installed on your phone. I’ve written instructions on what you need to do, and they’re in the drawer in my nightstand. What time is lunch again?”
“Usually around 1:00 p.m. but …”
“I’ll call you then, promise me you’ll wear it. I want you to get used to it.”
“Used to it?” she replied in a high-pitched squeak. I chuckled again.
“Trust me … you do trust me, don’t you?”
She glanced at me and nodded. “I do.” Her face sobered.
“Then wear the damned vibrator,” I demanded, in a playful tone. “But read the instructions first.”
Dare Me, Part Two Dare Duet Sawyer and Billie: Unchained Attraction Series Page 17