“This,” she said, as she patted the teddy bear and looked intently at me on the screen, her beautiful blue eyes glistened with tears. “This is no substitute, but I’m thankful to have something tangible to hang on to until I have you home.”
“Aw, baby, why don’t you come out next weekend? It’s LA, we can spend the day shopping or drive down to Santa Monica before I play my gigs.”
“I’m not staying on the bus,” she chipped back, quickly.
“No one is asking you to,” I replied with my tone an octave higher. “Come, be with me, fly out on Friday evening and back on Sunday afternoon. Ask Tricia to be on standby for us, she can be at our apartment when Colby gets back on the Sunday and she can stay overnight with you. That way you won’t be stressing on what time you get home.”
“All right, I’ll do it, but you better keep Wiggy away from me. That deal is as much for him as for me. I wouldn’t want to stress him out and make him do anything stupid.”
“No Wiggy,” I promised. “You can come to the gigs, but I’ll have someone take care of you so you don’t come into contact with him.”
“How would you do that?”
“Hire some security to keep you company, a female, of course. I’m not having another man protect what’s mine.”
“Caveman,” she replied and chuckled.
“Too true. Have you seen my wife? She’s stunning,” I replied, and meant every word.
“I never guessed you were so romantic,” she mumbled.
“Trust me, I didn’t either, you bring out the best in me … or the worst … sex-wise, I think it’s the latter.”
“I like the worst,” she answered coyly and laughed a little embarrassed.
“I’m not complaining, darlin’, I can’t wait to see you, my dick really needs to penetrate something, it’s tired of my hand.”
“Oh, well you do have that toy you bought for yourself. Now there’s an idea. I think it’s my turn to get revenge on you for that little trick you played on me in my office,” she replied. “Hmm, tomorrow night after the gig, do you have a meet and greet?”
“I do,” I replied hesitantly and wondered where she was going with this.
“Okay tomorrow night you need to put your plastic vagina on—”
“Max … it’s called Max.”
“Weird having man’s name for a vagina,” she muttered her nose scrunched cutely, and I chuckled.
“Max as in maximum, not the guy,” I replied, rolling my eyes.
“Did you roll your eyes at me there?”
“I don’t think so,” I said through a laugh.
“Okay, here’s the deal,” ignoring my reply. “You have to wear it during a meet and greet.
“How the fuck am I going to do that? They’d notice, it’s not exactly small.”
“Use a shirt, tie a T-shirt or sweater around your waist. I don’t know, you’re the one with all the secret moves from what I’ve seen so far,” she replied.
As I had done this to her, I could hardly back out and nodded. “You’re on,” I agreed and laughed again. “This should be fun.”
After this conversation we both settled down with a glass of white wine and watched a romantic movie of her choice on cable television. Each of us lying on the same side of the bed, as we would be if we’d been together, and with our laptops toward our faces so we could see one another’s reactions to the scenes.
When the movie finished, I invited her to watch some porn with me. She resisted for a few minutes, but eventually, she gave in and we watched a tasteful female friendly one that lasted ten minutes.
“Jeez, I’m in the wrong job,” she muttered as she turned her head sideways and glanced at the erotic scene on display.”
“One day we should make one of our own,” I suggested. Her head immediately dropped and she looked up through her lashes.
“That is not going to happen.”
“We’ll see,” I warned.
When the porn movie finished, we both lay staring silently. This was the hardest part of my day when I lay missing her, even though she was right there in front of me, our faces lit up by our screens until our eyes grew heavy and we both fell asleep.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Being newly married and missing home, I was a miserable fuck during the tour until the weekend Billie visited me in LA. When I met her at the airport it must have looked as if she’d arrived home safely from some long spell overseas, the way I lifted her in the air and almost squeezed the life out of her. It filled my soul that she clung to me every bit as tightly as I did to her, when she saw me.
“Hey, beautiful,” I said, my voice almost a whisper as she looked up at me with tears in her eyes. “No, don’t, you’re here,” I demanded, wiping the stray tear that trickled down her cheek, with my thumb.
“They’re happy tears,” she admitted. “I never knew I could miss someone as much, apart from Colby. He misses you too, by the way.”
“I miss him as well, but I’m very glad he’s not here this weekend.” I offered with a grin. “That kid should be hired out as a form of contraception the way he cockblocks.”
As I was chuckling, Billie swiped my chest. “That’s my son you are talking about.”
“That’s what I mean, no son of mine would stop me from tasting my sweet, beautiful wife.”
It had been a joke, but Billie’s face grew serious and I knew immediately I’d said the wrong thing. I didn’t have a son, and from her perspective, her age made her aware that she didn’t have many years left to bear another child. I had no idea if she even wanted another.
We’d had conversations previously regarding this and although I had said I didn’t care, it would have been nice to have a child of my own.
Biological children weren’t high on my list but when Logan had behaved how he had and put Colby at risk, I knew I’d die before I’d have put any child of mine at risk in that way. Although I was trying to be the best dad to Colby, he wasn’t mine and the difference was inferred at every turn.
Up until now, each activity I wanted to do with him had required permission from one or the other of his parents. I’d hoped in time this would improve and there would come a time where I’d state we were doing something rather than gaining approval first.
“What are you thinking?” Billie asked, as I tucked her shoulder under my arm and pulled her close to my side. Turning us away from the arrivals entrance I directed us toward the short-term parking.
“Just how wonderful it is to have you right here by my side,” I said, skipping past the awkward moment my thoughtless remark had made.
“I don’t think I could have gone another day of not seeing you,” Billie confessed and her comment made me smile. “We only have two days,” she mumbled, turning her face into my chest. Feeling her hot breath through my T-shirt warmed my heart.
“We have two days, this is a great thing,” I reminded her. Any time was better than none.
“True,” she agreed, giving me that adorable shy smile of hers that melted my heart.
“I’ve found an amazing little one-bedroom house in The Hills for us to have some alone time. I know it won’t be much, but I wanted to make the most of the time we had.”
“Sounds wonderful,” she said, as we reached my rental car and opened the door for her.
“What, no bike?” she questioned.
“I figured you’d bring a bag and a purse , plus I thought it best I rent something quiet since we may not be home until the early hours of the morning,” I explained, and she nodded.
“Good thinking. See, this is what I love about you, you make everything appear spontaneous but the thought process behind what you do is amazing.”
I felt pleased she was happy with what I’d done and once we were in the car and I’d started the engine, I felt playful. “Plenty of thought has gone into the spontaneous stuff I’m going to be doing to you once I get you into this rental house … or does that make it premeditated?” Immediately Billie’s eyes lusted o
ver and she dipped her head.
“Can’t wait,” she confessed, and I chuckled. It was the first time she’d admitted she was as desperate for me as I was for her.
The drive time from LAX to Beverley Hills only took a little over twenty minutes due to light traffic, and the little one-bedroom house was perfect. Furnished quite minimally, but tastefully decorated and amply equipped for our needs, it had an addition of a small, secluded infinity pool and a view into the valley that I knew would feel romantic at night.
“Wow, this is perfect!” Billie exclaimed, as she threw her lightweight jacket on the small white couch, wandered over to the patio sliders, and opened the door.
“Like my girl,” I mumbled, sliding my arms around her waist from behind and dipping my head toward her bare shoulder. Feeling her silky soft skin on my lips felt like home. Billie leaned her head toward mine and took a deep breath in. Turning to me, she wrapped her slender arms around my neck.
“What are you doing with me?” she asked, shaking her head in a moment of insecurity again.
“What do you mean? I’m right where I want to be.”
“Why?” she asked. “Of all the girls in the world—why me?”
Taking her hand I opened her palm and held it to my chest.
“Feel this?” I asked, knowing she could feel my heartbeat. “My body wants you.” Next, I slid her hand to my temple. I never stop seeing images of you in here.” After this I placed her palm over my raging erection. “And this is a permanent feature when those thoughts come to mind,” I replied with a wink. “Never underestimate my feelings for you. I could say the same to you—why me? But we already agreed to let love rule and not think about anything else, don’t you agree?”
She nodded. “I do, it’s just every now and then I get—”
“Mind fucked. You sometimes get debilitated by thoughts from your old life, darlin’. I’m the one you’re with now and you are my whole world, so this conversation is over.” I bent and kissed her, my tongue gliding along the seam of her lips until they parted with a moan and she let me enter.
The explosive chemistry we shared wreaked havoc within me, an effect from the time we’d spent apart, and my cock stretched uncomfortably against the confines of my jeans as I grabbed at the hem of her small flimsy blouse and yanked it up over her head. Some of her long hair spilled from the sexy updo she wore and I released the rest when I tugged at the tie that held it in place. My lust for her intensified from the moment I saw her sexy dark brown curls cascade loosely over her shoulders.
Grabbing a fistful of hair ,I leaned forward to kiss her again when she shoved my T-shirt up my body. Two seconds later it was on the floor and my arms were back around her, my lips were back on hers. Moving my palms down her warm, bare back, my fingertips breached the loose waistband of her dress pants.
Scoring her long fingernails down my back, Billie reached around for my belt, undid the buckle with the skill of a hooker and unzipped my pants.
Before she got any farther, I dipped my knees and swept her up into my arms. “Eek,” she squeaked at my sudden move, as I spun her around and walked down the hallway looking for the bedroom.
As soon as I saw the huge bed, I flopped her down onto it and immediately pulled off her pants. Wearing only a tiny pair of panties, she lay staring up at me with a look of desperation on her face. When our eyes connected the pull to be inside her almost proved too much.
For the following three hours we were lost in one another, seeking and taking pleasure, until we’d exhausted all those pent-up feelings we’d harboured since I’d left for the tour. Afterward, we laid drenched in sweat, a serene silence between us, and dozed on and off for an hour.
“How would you feel if I said I wanted to have a baby?”
My eyes sprang open and I stared at the ceiling for a few moments, absorbing her question, before I turned on my side to look into her eyes.
“Don’t do it for me, Billie,” I ordered, even though my heart raced at the thought of her carrying my child.
“Oh, I wouldn’t. Most women would want to give a partner a child of their own in our circumstance, but that’s not the only reason I’m asking.”
“Then why?”
“Because I don’t want to regret us not having a child together,” she shrugged, “because I’d like a child we made together, and also I’d like us to have a sibling for Colby. Also, I think it would show my commitment to not being scared to be with you.”
My chest felt tight and a lump grew in my throat. I tried to tamp down how she’d moved me and tried to appear less excited than I actually felt inside. “Then I’d be thrilled if this is what you genuinely want. You know I don’t care about the biology side of things,” I reiterated, still not one-hundred-percent sure her decision wasn’t an unselfish act on my behalf alone. I’d have hated for her to feel this was necessary, because I’d rather have had her happy than miserable with another child to care for.
“Then that’s settled,” she said, matter-of-factly and pressed a kiss to my chest.
“No, darlin’, I want you to tell me this again when I get back from this tour. This is a huge decision to make. We’ve done everything else in a heartbeat, thanks to me, but this one, I’d rather you had plenty of time to think about the decision you’re making. Don’t get me wrong, nothing would give me more pleasure than to make a baby with you, but this time, I want you to consider what this means. I don’t want my wife leaving my child and going back to work full time. This isn’t me laying down the law like some guy from the ‘60s, I just feel strongly that we, as parents, should take care of our babies, not sitters or anyone else.”
“I know this, and I didn’t really have a choice with Colby. I had to work to help pay the mortgage.”
“Then there’s this,” I held my hands out gesturing at the rental we had to catch some time together. “me out on the road and you stuck at home with two children to care for.”
“I’ve thought about that as well. Personally, I think it would make me feel better to have someone else to take care of when you are away.”
“Okay, then if you’re really serious, we’ll give this consideration when I get home.”
A flash of disappointment flitted across her face, but from where I sat I felt I was doing the right thing for all of us. Apart from Colby, there were my absences from home to consider, and where I wouldn’t have minded her having help, I didn’t want my child to be looked after by anyone other than us.
Obviously, when I was home, I knew I’d be happy to be a stay-at-home dad, but all things considered, we’d been apart for a couple of weeks, and we’d just made love for hours. I wanted to be one hundred-percent-sure this was what Billie wanted for herself as much as for me, and she hadn’t felt pressured into giving me a child because she thought this was necessary or essential to our future relationship.
Following our conversation, I thought my wife was a little subdued by my response. When I considered how I’d handled her question about having a baby, I knew she must have been confused by my muted response. Thankfully, I was playing that night so she never had the chance to dwell on our conversation, as we had to get out of bed and be ready for me to get to the venue.
As we were leaving the house, Billie placed her hand on my bare forearm. Smiling up at me she raised an eyebrow. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”
Glancing at the door then back at her, I shrugged. “I don’t think so.”
“Max? Have you packed Max?” I snickered.
“Erm, after the afternoon we’ve just had?”
It was her turn to shrug. “And?” she asked raising an eyebrow.
I chuckled and shook my head. “Maybe tomorrow, I’m drained after that and I’ve a show to perform.”
“And I was working with numbers and people’s finances? Are you saying your work is more important than mine?” she pressed.
Shaking my head again, I stepped back inside the house and went to my overnight bag. Taking out the tube-like can
ister from the bag, I stuffed it into the small duffle bag I had and went back to the door.
“You drive a hard bargain, pretty lady.”
“Yeah, and don’t you forget it,” she muttered, slipping her arm into mine as I led her toward the car.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Although I had promised to keep them apart, Billie insisted on coming to the venue with me. Fortunately, Wiggy was on his best behavior when I took her backstage. It was almost as if they had come to a mutual agreement not to even look at one another. I’ll admit I’d had a knot in my stomach and a pain in my chest because the last thing anyone needed was for Wiggy to stress out and mess up.
The gig itself was incredible and he had definitely brought his A game when he performed. I was especially thankful the rehab facility he’d been in had encouraged him to write lyrics and play his guitar as a form of therapy. During that time he had penned three great songs about love, life, and mistrust. Hearing the lyrics he had written, gave me a better insight into how he ticked. The songs were also laced with truths about how he’d been treated by his parents as he grew up.
“Wow, I loved that last song, it was so poignant. I connected with every word. Your vocals were so heartfelt and I believed the story when you sang it,” Billie gushed, when I exited the stage and she wrapped her arms around me.
“Would it hurt you if I told you Wiggy wrote the lyrics for that?” An instant look of disbelief masked her face and she glanced past me to see him. Turning, I also looked and he was downing a whole bottle of water. The conditions in the venue were particularly stifling and we had all felt as if we were melting out there on stage.
“Maybe there’s hope for him yet then,” she conceded, which I felt was a benevolent view since he had been so rude to her before. His ‘mom’ references toward Billie in relation to me had been most hurtful and uncalled for. During an argument we’d been having, his beef had been with me not her, but as was usual with Wiggy, his immaturity always led him to target the innocent people around him. Therefore, since Billie had been there with me, he’d used her as an opportunity to get to me.
Dare Me, Part Two Dare Duet Sawyer and Billie: Unchained Attraction Series Page 19