“Hey,” I admonished, knowing full well it was all just banter.
“Okay, here’s the plan. We know these babies are coming, we can wait twenty-four hours for the pain to start or we can gently get them going with some synthetic hormone.”
“Jeez, is this a happy, cranky, or emotional hormone?” I asked and he eyed me with a smirk.
Pulling up a chair her doctor sat down and read from her notes. “So, let’s see. The membranes broke at 8:15 a.m. and it’s 9:30 p.m. now. I vote we give your uterus some time and see where we go from there. Both babies are head down and twin A’s head is engaged. Twin B’s position is good. I’d like to see a nice normal vaginal delivery for both, Billie, but you know the risks. Any issues whatsoever and we’re opting for a C-section, as we previously discussed.”
“We did?” I asked, unaware of this development.
“Oh yes, you were away when I had the appointment. It’s precautionary. Sometimes the second baby turns or gets into a position where it won’t deliver. With Billie’s petite stature and the size of the babies, we’ll move her to the OR for the births. It’s a bigger team with two babies and it will also have Billie in the right place if these measures become necessary.” Fuck, how did I not know she had to give birth in the OR? I wasn’t stupid and I had known twins came with a higher risk of complications, but to hear the plan and how imminently it may play out worried me.
Usually, I was an eternal optimist, but my stomach felt coiled with nerves that at any time something would change, so when Billie began having pains on her own for the first couple of hours my mind was internally in meltdown.
Billie opted for an epidural, and this was inserted as soon as her contractions had eased. Watching the procedure made me wince and I felt nauseous on her behalf.
“Gosh, the sounds of their heartbeats are lulling me to sleep.” I stared at her in disbelief because from my viewpoint, if I had been her, sleep would have been the last thing on my mind.
Surrounded by high-tech gadgetry, Billie had appeared to take it all in her stride as a clear intravenous line extended from a cannula in the back of her hand, which pumped clear fluid injected with artificial hormones to help her labor progress. I was reassured this was all normal management since she had the spinal in place.
Billie’s blood pressure and pulse, as well as the babies’ heart rates, were also constantly monitored, and everything progressed very well until around five hours later we heard one of the babies’ heart rates dip dramatically on the monitor recording them.
“Christ, what’s happening? That’s not good, right?” I blurted, totally forgetting myself as I allowed my emotions to flow.
“Sawyer, sit down it’s fine,” Louisa stated, stood and placed her hand on Billie’s abdomen and a minute later, the baby’s heartbeat had returned to normal. She sat back down while I stood with my hands gripping my hair and glanced toward Billie who had indeed dozed off. How the hell can she sleep? “Billie’s fine,” she said amused, and nodded at the chair for me to sit down.
“Billie, can I ask you to lay on your side with the next contraction?” Louisa prompted, and my wife opened her eyes but looked thoroughly washed out.
“Sure, but you’re going to have to help, I can’t feel a thing,” she mumbled, sleepily.
Between contractions I helped Louisa to shift Billie onto her left side. When twin one’s heartbeat dropped again with the following contraction the obstetric nurse then informed Billie she had prepared a tray to examine her again.
Examining Billie on her side she smiled across at me and her eyes went wide. “Billie your baby’s head is sitting right inside the birth canal. I’m going to get some help and we’ll move you next door to the OR,” she said, peeling off the surgical gloves and throwing them in the large trash bin.
As Billie wasn’t in any discomfort, the transfer between rooms went quickly. When I saw the number of people involved, I felt the weight of the complications, which could have occurred, and I felt afraid for her.
The obstetrician and another doctor from his team, two pediatricians, two obstetric nurses, a scrub nurse, two nursing assistants, an anesthesiologist, his assistant and me. This was in the event surgery was necessary after one of the babies had delivered. A lower heartbeat could be heard, and the surgeon asked for some lubrication to examine Billie again.
“Excellent, Billie, your baby’s head is just sitting there, he remarked, smiling as he looked up at us. With the next contraction I’d like you to push.”
I stopped looking and instead focused on Billie’s worried face. I immediately dropped my forehead on hers, cupped her cheek and offered her reassurance. “You got this, darlin’, any minute now we’re going to meet our first baby together. Breathe,” I told her. Calming her calmed me and I felt some of the tension across my shoulders leave my body.
My beautiful girl had only begun to focus on me when her eyes went wide. “Here he comes,” Dr. Stevens said, as I pulled away from Billie just in time to see my first child’s slippery pale body emerge from between her legs and land on the blue drape which had been placed across her. Immediately the doctor placed a clamp on the umbilical cord and cut it.
Billie’s hands flew protectively to the baby’s head and she massaged its tiny wet head. Our dark haired baby opened its eyes and winced at the bright lighting. I chuckled because this was the same thing Billie did first thing in the morning.
“What do we have?” she asked, choked up as we both cradled the baby as best as we could on her stomach.
Louisa lifted one leg for us both to look and we grinned. “It’s a boy,” Billie informed me, even though I had seen for myself and I couldn’t have cared less as long as it was healthy.
Twin B followed just four minutes later, and as twin one was lifted for the pediatrician to check out. The other baby was placed on a fresh blue drape where our son had lain less than a minute before.
“Good job, Billie. What a clever lady you are. You’ve managed to grow a set,” Dr. Stevens praised her as he sat between her legs delivering a placenta. “And without sutures too,” he added.
“A set?” I asked puzzled, and she laughed as the second baby’s sex was displayed and I saw it was a girl. A son and a daughter.
“One of each, how lucky did we get?” I mumbled, stunned almost speechless as to what I’d seen happen just minutes before. I leaned forward and kissed her dry lips. “I’m so fucking proud of you, Billie.” Her lips looked dry. “You need a drink.”
“That’s still going to be a while, I’m breastfeeding, remember?” she joked. I pitied her that she couldn’t have alcohol after all that, when personally, I had needed some whiskey by then.
As soon as both babies had been examined to ensure all was well, and Billie had been checked over, they were both handed back to my wife. Glancing down at their cute scrunched up faces, I had no words for how happy she’d made me, how incredibly blessed we were. And when I saw the euphoric smile Billie also wore when I glanced up from my babies to her, I knew that she felt the same.
It took me more than a few seconds to swallow down the huge lump that burned in my throat when I took in the scene. I barely managed to fight back tears of joy when the moment finally came and I held my tiny children in my arms. The feeling of responsibility to ensure their lives would be the best I could make them wasn’t lost on me in that moment. It came in a rush and although it felt daunting, it was a feeling I knew I’d never have swapped for another.
* * *
Both babies lay cutely facing one another, Remy clutching Brynn’s hand and the simple gesture of an hours old baby almost brought me to my knees. Our kids had Billie’s dark brown hair, their open eyes still blue, stared vacantly at the other. Still and content, I tentatively stroked a fingertip over my son’s perfect little leg and he startled, his hands flailing wide, which made Brynn stretch lazily and grunt. I smirked because I’d jumped, nervous, and Billie chuckled.
“Fuck, he gave me a fright,” I stated unreservedly. T
ammy’s children had been weeks old and more robust than my fragile little ones the first time I’d seen them. Once Remy settled, I continued my exploration of our children. I counted, all their tiny toes and fingers, observed their cute button noses and Cupid bow lips, and I marveled at how amazing the incredible miracle of life was.
Once the twins had been safely delivered we were transferred back to Billie’s room, although the babies were to be closely monitored due to their slight prematurity. As far as I’d been concerned, they’d all made it through in one piece, and I was especially thankful my wife and little children were healthy.
Although they were a little early, thankfully, both of our babies were breathing, feeding, pooping, and appeared content in their bright new world. Billie had been concerned they’d end up in the NICU, and was delighted they had gotten to remain with us in her private room.
* * *
“Twin A born 5:45 p.m., twenty-one inches long, weight six pounds four ounces. Twin B born 5:49 p.m., twenty inches long, weight, five pounds fourteen ounces,” Colby said, reading the twins cards with their details. He peered into the bassinette where both of his dark-haired siblings were laid and smiled.
Like me, he was immediately smitten as he inspected their tiny hands and feet, pointed out the size of their pinkie toes and insisted on holding them while I took a photograph for him to share at school. It warmed my heart to see that in the first instance at least, he hadn’t felt sidelined by his siblings’ arrivals.
“And their names?” James asked. I’d noted he’d kept his distance and waited to be invited to check the babies out, unlike Colby who had rushed immediately to them as soon as he’d entered the room. Then I thought perhaps I may have been too wrapped up in my babies to realize not everyone was as absorbed in the moment as I was.
“Remy James and Brynn Leona Wild,” Billie stated, proudly. My brother’s head whipped up from looking at Colby and the twins’ picture to stare first at Billie then toward me. He looked emotional and shook his head. I watched as he swallowed down lump after lump as he tried to maintain his composure.
When I saw he was struggling, my mind turned again to the baby he had lost and I felt overwhelmed with compassion for him.
“Shall we leave these two to talk and grab a coffee or something?” I offered and stole a quick glance at Billie, who nodded her consent, giving me permission to leave Colby there with her.
“You’ve been quiet, everything okay?” I asked as I led him down to the cafeteria.
“Yeah, I’m just … it’s amazing … I’m really glad for you guys.”
I nodded. “I wanted to thank you for stepping up the way you have, James. In most families what happened between us would have been a lifelong feud, but none of what happened matters anymore. In some fucked-up way it brought us together.”
“Some days it still haunts me, but we’re not most families,” he added, sounding thankful.
“Forget it. Onward and upward, eh?” My brother nodded. “Oh, by the way, that reminds me, we wanted to ask you if you would be willing to be Remy and Brynn’s godfather?”
James stopped, closed his eyes and shook his head and at first, I thought he was going to reject my request.
“You want me? After all I’ve put you …”
“Just a yes or a no will suffice. In case you haven’t noticed, my time is going to be expensive from now on.”
“But me?”
“Yes, you … besides you live the closest and are therefore the most accessible for babysitting purposes,” I joked. “And who knows, the way you and Tricia are creeping around with your clandestine arrangement, it may give you an excuse to spend more time with her.”
Snickering he shook his head again. “I like her, she’s different from anyone I’ve ever known, but …”
“Oh, Brother, you are in trouble, because that’s the thought I had in my head when I went after Billie.”
On paper, I’m sure many would have said we’d never work. That I was Billie’s rebound or perhaps even that she had been mine. Our reality so far on our journeys have been that the length of time you spend with someone doesn’t make love grow, it’s the interactions and small sacrifices, consideration, respect, and encouragement that takes care of this.
To this end, Billie and I took a gigantic leap of faith and placed our fragile trusts in one another at a time when we had little trust to give. We bravely did what few would do in our situations, despite the prejudice and challenges we may have faced. Forgiving is not easy, but sometimes it is necessary for our hearts to heal, and it is because our hearts are healed, they are filled again with love. Facing the future as a family of five, I can’t wait to see what the next chapter brings in our messy and ever evolving newfound family life together.
The End
If you enjoyed following Sawyer and Billie’s duet, you’ll be excited to know you can meet these characters again in James and Tricia’s duet story coming late spring in Resist You, Book one and Resist Me, Book two (Resist Duet)
Also by K.L. Shandwick
The Everything Trilogy
Enough Isn’t Everything
Everything She Needs
Everything I Want
Love With Every Beat
just Jack
Everything Is Yours
Last Score Series
Gibson’s Legacy
Trusting Gibson
Gibson’s Melody
Piper: A Last Score Spin off
Ready for Flynn Series
Ready For Flynn, Part 1
Ready For Flynn, Part 2
Ready For Flynn, Part 3
Flying Under the Radar
Unchained Attraction Series
Dare You, Part one, Billie and Sawyer
Other novels
Missing Beats
Exhale and Move On
Free to Breathe
Another Life
SOULED
About the Author
K. L. Shandwick lives on the outskirts of York, UK. She started writing after a challenge by a friend when she commented on a book she had read. The result of this was ‘The Everything Trilogy’. Her background has been mainly in the health and social care sector in the U.K. This is evident in her fiction as her books tend to focus on the relationships of and surrounding her main characters. Writing is a form of escapism for her and she is just as excited to find out where her characters take her as she is when she reads another author’s work.
Acknowledgments
Edited by Karen Hrdlicka
Proofread by Rosa Sharon My Brother’s Editor
2nd Proof Krista Webster
Cover design Just Write creations. picture Adobe
Alpha read Elmarie Pieterse
Beta team, Lisa Perkins, Heather Woodman, Wendy Hodges, TL Wainwright Author, Nikki Costello.
Dare Me, Part Two Dare Duet Sawyer and Billie: Unchained Attraction Series Page 32