by Nicola Marsh
‘You and Harry were always destined to be together. It just took you longer to figure out than most.’
‘Better late than never.’
Tash laughed. ‘Speaking of Harry, how are the wedding plans coming along?’
‘Surprisingly well. Keeping it low key is helping.’
‘I’m so happy for you both.’ Tash reached across the table and squeezed Alisha’s hand. ‘Let me know if you need anything.’
‘Now that you mention it, how would you feel about throwing a bridal shower? I’m not into all that palaver, especially at my age, but Ruby keeps hounding me about it and she’s sweet to offer to host, but you and I’ve been friends for years—’
‘Consider it done.’ For the first time all morning, excitement replaced worry. ‘Do you have anything special in mind?’
Alisha rolled her eyes. ‘If I had my way we’d be sneaking off to the registry office in Melbourne to avoid all this, but you guys plus Mum and Dad are my family and I want to celebrate with you all, so whatever you want to do is fine by me.’
‘One stripper or two?’ Tash deadpanned, biting back a laugh at Alisha’s startled expression.
‘Mum would have a heart attack.’
‘I think Brenda might surprise you. Doesn’t she devour those racy novels by the carload?’
‘Good point.’ Alisha chuckled. ‘But this is a bridal shower, not a bachelorette party, so no strippers.’
‘But there’ll be cake and party favours so there will be penises.’
They laughed and it felt good for Tash to take her mind off what was happening next door.
As if reading her mind, Alisha said, ‘How long do you reckon she’ll be?’
‘I don’t know.’
Tash wanted Isla to bond with her dad but a small part of her hoped Isla would rush home to tell her all about it sooner rather than later. She’d raised Isla to be confident and articulate, and to that end her daughter rarely had a quiet moment. But while Kody may have thawed since their fraught reunion yesterday, Tash couldn’t help but wonder if some of his residual resentment would spill over and affect their daughter.
Not that Isla would stand for it. She never had any trouble voicing her opinions. What Tash wouldn’t give to be a fly on the proverbial wall over there right now.
‘What’s he like? Has fame changed the guy you dated?’
Tash thought for a moment, before slowly shaking her head. ‘Not really. He’s angry at me for withholding the truth, but overall he seems the same.’
Alisha’s eyebrows rose. ‘Really?’ She flashed a sheepish grin. ‘Because I did an online search this morning and he’s one of the most famous rock stars this country’s ever produced. Gorgeous too.’
Tash had to agree he hadn’t changed much in that regard. Apart from the lines creasing his forehead and the corners of his eyes, Kody looked better than she remembered.
‘Speaking of which, are you going to tell me about that cryptic comment regarding seeing him naked in the bathroom?’
Tash mimicked zipping her lips and Alisha reached across the table to slug her on the arm.
‘Come on, now that I’m virtually an old married woman I need to live vicariously through your dating exploits.’
‘But we’re not dating,’ Tash pointed out, a sliver of something akin to excitement shimmering through her at the thought.
‘Tell me. Pretty please.’
‘I should’ve never mentioned it.’
‘But you did, so spill.’ Alisha waggled a finger in her face and Tash swatted it away.
‘Not much to tell. When we got back from the hospital yesterday I offered to make him something to eat because he was struggling on the crutches. He needed a bath and when I went into the bathroom to cover the plaster with plastic bags, he was sitting there in his jocks.’
Alisha gaped a little, before a mischievous twinkle lit her big, brown eyes. ‘Let me get this straight. He knew you were coming back into the bathroom but he stripped down regardless?’
‘He had to. How else would I get the plastic bags over the plaster, and how would he take his pants off after it?’
‘You could’ve left the bags for him. Then he could’ve undressed after you’d left and put the bags on himself. Instead, he strips off, which means he wanted you to see him in all his bare-chested glory. Pity he left the jocks on.’ She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. ‘So how was it?’
Heat burned Tash’s cheeks. ‘The bod?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Phenomenal.’ A soft sigh escaped Tash’s lips. ‘I mean, I know it’s been a while since my last shag but wow …’ She fanned her face and Alisha wolf-whistled.
‘That good, huh?’
‘Better,’ Tash admitted, wishing she could erase the image from her mind.
Alisha’s smirk faded. ‘I’m going to ask a tough question, honey, and I want you to be honest with me.’
‘Yeah?’
‘Do you want something to happen between the two of you?’
Tash wanted to refuse but she’d always been upfront, most of all with herself.
Predictably, Alisha took her hesitancy as a yes.
‘Just be careful, okay? I don’t want to see you hurt.’ Alisha reached across and squeezed her hand. ‘Rock stars aren’t keepers, and after he leaves, you’ll always be in contact because of Isla—that could pose a problem for you.’
‘I’m not the pining type,’ Tash said, hating how her heart leapt at the thought of any kind of relationship with Kody beyond a parental one.
‘You’re also not the wham-bam type, so any kind of fling with your old flame, who happens to be the father of your child, may end badly if you can’t separate your emotions from the physical stuff.’
‘Thanks for the advice, mama bear.’ Tash tempered her words with a smile. ‘But my priority right now is helping Isla adjust to the idea of having a father in her life. Anything else doesn’t enter the equation.’
Alisha’s lips compressed in a stubborn line and she knew her friend wouldn’t let this go. ‘What if Hot Stuff wants to start something up with you? What then?’
‘I’m the last woman he’d want to get involved with,’ she scoffed. ‘He hates my guts and is masking it with a veneer of polite indifference.’ Discounting those few sizzling looks they’d shared when neither of them had been prepared …
‘There’s a fine line between hatred and love, that’s all I’m saying. And I know you. I know why you walked away from him in Melbourne all those years ago: you put his needs above your own. You loved him but you didn’t want to tie him down, not when his star was taking off. So you deliberately pushed him away, shelved your dreams, and came back here to do the right thing for your child.’ Alisha made a soft tut-tutting sound. ‘By some twist of fate your past is back, and if I’m correct, neither of you are prepared for it.’
Alisha’s words only served to exacerbate Tash’s regrets. What if she’d told Kody the truth back then? What if she’d given him a choice? What if she hadn’t walked away?
But she had and if she’d learned one thing over the years it was to never look back.
‘I’ll be okay, honest.’ Tash stood and leaned down to hug Alisha. ‘And I appreciate your concern, but let’s focus on sourcing a phallic-shaped cake, okay?’
Alisha laughed as Tash intended but it didn’t detract from the concern in her eyes.
Tash knew the feeling. All she’d done since discovering Kody had lobbed next door was worry, and she had a feeling it wouldn’t let up anytime soon.
CHAPTER
19
Kody couldn’t believe how well the morning had gone with Isla and was surprised to discover it was almost lunchtime when his stomach growled. ‘Are you hungry?’
She stared at him with those all-seeing eyes and nodded. ‘I can make toasted cheese sandwiches if you like.’
‘That’d be great. Want some help?’
‘Nah, I’m good.’
He hated feeling this helpless while
he watched his daughter move around the kitchen with ease. The sooner he got out of this damn plaster and became more mobile, the better. He hadn’t taken any painkillers today and his ankle throbbed.
‘Are you okay?’ She eyed him with concern, knife poised above the butter, and he inwardly cursed his inability to hide his feelings. The last thing he wanted was her worrying about him.
‘Yeah, my ankle’s a bit sore, but it’ll be fine.’
‘Okay.’ She resumed buttering the bread.
He loved how kids took everything at face value. At least, his kid did. Compared with some of the tweens and teens he’d encountered over the years, Isla still seemed innocent. All the band members were smart enough not to mess around with jailbait but that didn’t stop young girls trying anything to get it on with a rock star. They’d received questionable fanmail including undies and bras, and fended off inappropriate groping during organised photo ops. One industrious young lady had wangled her way backstage during a concert in New York and had been lolling around naked in his dressing room after he came offstage. That had shocked him, and he’d seen enough of the world to deem himself unshockable.
Maybe it was growing up in a quiet country town, but Isla appeared genuine and guileless and comfortable in her own skin, not entirely typical for a girl on the brink of her teen years.
‘Quit staring,’ she said, glancing up from the bread.
‘Sorry. I still can’t believe you’re here.’
Appeased by his honest response, she smiled. ‘Do you like tomato sauce in your cheese toasties?’
‘Love it,’ he said, remembering how Tash used to slather it on, a culinary peculiarity he’d come to enjoy. ‘Your mum used to make them like that.’
She stilled and he hoped he hadn’t done the wrong thing in bringing up a snippet of the past. They’d avoided talking about Tash for the last few hours, not by any deliberate act on his part, but because he wanted to know everything there was to know about his daughter.
‘I’m still a little peed off at Mum for not telling me the truth about you all these years,’ she said, sounding young and lost.
He heard the hurt in her voice and he didn’t want her feeling that way, not because of something he’d stupidly said. He got to his feet and grabbed his crutches to hop over to her.
‘It’s okay to be annoyed but your mum made a decision she thought was best at the time.’ He stopped two feet away. ‘Like you, I’m pretty upset about it, but your mum’s a good person and while I don’t agree with what she did, I can understand why she did it.’
‘I guess.’ Isla shrugged, but he saw the doubt in her eyes. ‘It still sucks I haven’t had a dad around all these years when I did actually have one.’
Man, she was breaking his heart. But he had to be careful not to disparage Tash no matter how much he agreed with Isla. He wouldn’t do that, despite his gut churning with anger and regret and bitterness that he’d missed out on so much with this amazing kid.
‘The thing is, kiddo, even if we’d known about each other, I probably wouldn’t have been around all that much.’
Her gaze narrowed, coolly appraising. ‘I get it. You’re famous. But you wouldn’t want to spend time with me now if you didn’t care, so I reckon you would’ve made time for me.’
His heart twanged again, like she’d aimed an arrow and shot a bullseye. He couldn’t believe this no-nonsense, blunt, sensible child was his. He’d been the opposite at her age, getting by on cunning and lies in the various foster homes he’d been dumped in. He’d been wily and street-smart but non-confrontational, nothing like his daughter. It made him admire her all the more.
‘I do care, more than you know.’ He laid a hand on her shoulder, glad when she didn’t shrug it off. ‘But it doesn’t change the fact my life’s on the road. And it’s hectic. When I’m not on a concert tour I’m in the studio, writing and recording. I move around—a lot—and that means I may not see you as much as I’d like.’
‘I could come with you.’
Hell. Of course she’d say that. What kid wouldn’t find a transient lifestyle appealing? He needed to backpedal, fast. Tash would kill him otherwise.
‘We could work something out with your mum so you could spend some time visiting me, but your life is here.’ He squeezed her shoulder. ‘You’re a smart kid. I bet you’ve got dreams and to follow those you need to finish high school.’
Her expression turned sullen. ‘Heaps of kids do school by correspondence, so I could do that too. Or I could have tutors wherever you are.’
Man, this situation had gone from bad to worse, because she was actually making sense and for an instant he could see the scenario she painted. If it were up to him, Isla could spend months travelling, maybe longer, because no amount of classroom teaching came close to life experience.
But Tash would never go for it.
Unless she had no choice …
He could hire the top custody lawyer in the country and put forward a strong case: she’d deprived him of parental rights; he deserved time to get to know his daughter; and he could provide Isla with the best of everything. But that would fracture their relationship as parents forever, and drag Isla through a potentially nasty custody battle that would result in bad press.
And that’s the last thing he wanted. Like many musicians, his manager had crafted a carefully fanciful history that appealed to the masses and hid the seedier side of his upbringing. He’d thought the reality of his childhood would give him cred but his manager hadn’t agreed so he’d gone with the fabricated story circulated when he’d first made it big in LA.
But it was more than that holding him back from pursuing a custody battle. He may not know what fatherhood entailed but he knew he wanted to be the kind of dad Isla admired and wanted to emulate, not some dropkick who lobbed into her life and tore it apart.
No, he couldn’t do it, but maybe if he presented his case to spend more time with Isla rationally to Tash, she’d understand.
Yeah, and he’d be playing a gig on top of the pyramids soon.
‘What are you thinking?’ Isla cocked her head to one side, studying him.
‘That I’d like nothing better than to spend as much time with you as possible, so how about we make that happen for as long as I’m staying here, then think about the rest later.’
‘Mum will never go for it,’ Isla muttered, shaking her head. ‘Because she’s a waitress she wants more for me and that means getting good grades and trying really hard at school.’
‘Your mum’s a smart woman and I happen to agree with her.’
Isla rolled her eyes. ‘Now you’re ganging up on me.’
‘Get used to it, kiddo, parents often agree to disagree with their kids.’ He ruffled her hair, eliciting a rueful grin. ‘Now, those sandwiches aren’t going to make themselves and I’m starving.’
‘Slave driver,’ she said, elbowing him away, and he marvelled anew at the ease between them.
‘I’ll hop back to the table and issue orders from there,’ he said.
She laughed. ‘It’s amazing you’ve been all around the world.’ She placed the buttered bread in the sandwich maker and it sizzled. ‘What’s your favourite city?’
‘Vancouver.’
‘Why?’
‘The people are laid back, like Aussies.’ And because the beautiful Canadian city reminded him of Melbourne, which he’d never returned to after Tash broke his heart.
Isla didn’t speak while she carefully placed the cheese slices on top of the bread, before squirting tomato sauce in zig-zags over the lot. ‘Where do you live?’
He’d been hoping to avoid this question because saying he didn’t have a house made him sound like a flake. In fact, he’d have to rectify that situation, because if it came to a custody battle, he’d need to show he could provide a stable home environment for Isla. But how could he explain to his daughter that he’d never had a real home and preferred moving around because that’s what he’d done his entire life?
&n
bsp; So he settled for partial honesty. ‘I move around a lot so it doesn’t make sense for me to pay a housekeeper and bills for a place I’m never at.’
‘Fair enough.’ She topped the cheese with slices of bread and closed the sandwich maker, before looking up. Kody didn’t like the cunning glint in her eyes. ‘So, basically, if we’re going to spend time together I’d have to move around with you too, yeah?’
He should’ve known she’d capitulated too easily a few minutes earlier. She wasn’t going to let this go. Life on the road would appeal to a teen as much as no curfews.
‘Probably, but like I said, this is something we’ll need to discuss with your mum.’
She pinned him with a stare that implied she wouldn’t back down and he’d never been more relieved than when the light on the sandwich maker turned green.
‘Our sangers are ready,’ he said, pointing at the maker. ‘There’s something about the smell of melted cheese that makes me want to stuff the whole sandwich in my gob in one go.’
‘Yeah, me too,’ she said, switching off the sandwich maker before placing the toasties onto plates. ‘I hope you’ve got one of these in your tour bus because we’re going to be eating a lot of toasted cheese sandwiches when I hang out with you.’
He laughed because he couldn’t help it, her tenacity a thing of wonder. ‘I like your determination, kid.’
‘It’s one of my best qualities,’ she said, matter of factly, as she handed him a plate.
They lapsed into comfortable silence as they ate but Kody wasn’t looking forward to discussing Isla moving around with him if he returned to his previous lifestyle with Tash, not one bit.
CHAPTER
20
Jane decided to keep the menu simple for her dinner with Mason: bruschetta with oven-roasted tomatoes and fresh basil for entrée, roast lamb for main and one of Betty’s famous custard tarts for dessert. He said he’d bring dessert but she had an ulterior motive: baking wasn’t her forté and she hoped that by serving one of his mum’s creations he might appreciate her more. Her work, that is. He’d been nothing but pleasant since they’d got over their initial hiccup yet her insecurities ran deep and she couldn’t help but feel inferior somehow, just like he’d made her feel in high school.