by Ashley Kay
I pull it down. “Micah! I’m so happy for you. You deserve it.”
Maisie and Mabel sing, “Micah and Sienna, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N—”
“Stop it!” He tries to shush them, but they just ignore him, giggling. They’re now twenty and still act like they’re back in elementary school. They both attend the same college but are in different majors. Maisie is a psychology major hoping to become a child psychologist, and Mabel is choosing to follow in mom’s footsteps to become a nurse. She’s always been good at helping me patch up her sister’s booboos as kids, so it makes sense. I’m very proud of them and have to stop the tears from gathering in the corner of my eyes.
My brother focuses his attention on me, balancing a fork on the table between two fingers, glancing at me with a mischievous look in his eye. “So, what about you, Savannah? Any new men in your life? Since you think it’s ok to badger me, it’s my turn.”
There’s no way in heck I’m telling them about Preston. I’d never hear the end, and frankly, I don’t even know what’s going on between us. It’s like a bad romantic comedy—part funny, part swoon-worthy, can’t take your eyes off of it, but you really should, kind of deal.
“What’s this about a new man?” Dad comes up behind me, placing his hands on my shoulders.
I pat a weathered hand. “No worries, pop, it’s nothing.” But it’s everything at the same time.
He scoots into the booth, sitting next to Micah, and looks me straight in the eye. “Angel, anyone would be lucky to have you, so don’t you worry, he’s out there.”
“I’m definitely not worried.” I wave my hand slightly. “How are you doing today?”
He picks up a menu although, like all of us, he doesn’t need it. “I’m good, spent the morning watching birds, trying to decide if I need a new feeder or not. Those dang squirrels won’t stay out of my birdseed.”
I chuckle. If only my biggest worry was which bird feeder to get to keep out the varmints. My biggest worry is the feelings I’m catching for a six-foot-three city boy with a penchant toward expensive suits and family drama.
The server takes our order, and we settle into comfortable conversations like we haven’t just gone a few months without seeing each other in person. I wish mom was here, she’d have loved coming back with me to SoS and getting her hands dirty. She never shied away from doing anything that required work. She told me her hands were built for manual labor. Whether that was playing in the garden or handling patients at the hospital, she was always using her hands.
I smile at my dad. His clear blue eyes are shining, his salt and pepper hair groomed neatly. He wears a button-down sweater and worn in blue jeans over dusty brown boots. For nearing sixty-five years old he’s still in good shape. He’s such a good man. I wish he’d get out and meet someone new, but he refuses. I don’t blame him. Some say once you find your true love and tragically lose them, anyone else is just not going to look the same. Besides, one time, he tried online dating and the woman he met up with serenaded him with an eighties ballad in the middle of the restaurant. I laughed so hard in between helping him remove his online profile that I almost passed out from lack of oxygen. I’ve never been able to listen to Journey the same way again.
After breakfast, we all drive out to mom’s grave and put fresh flowers out for her. Daffodils, her favorite, sway back and forth in the cool breeze. I kiss her stone goodbye, tracing the grooved letters of her name, Maggie, and then we’re off to fulfill yet another tradition: skiing. You didn’t grow up in Montana without skiing. We don our gear and glide up and down the slopes until we’re tired and need a break. Hot cocoa rounds out the day and I’m aching for a nap.
Before we part, we gather in the parking lot to say our goodbyes. Micah has a deadline to meet, so he can’t stay longer. I read his face—he wants to get back to Sienna. Mom would be excited to see him happy and thriving.
“Be careful going back. I’ll come visit soon, ok?” I kiss his cheek and fluff his hair as he bats me away.
“Ok, sis, love ya. See you soon. Work on finding yourself another man, please, so you can stop fussing about all of us for once.”
Maisie and Mabel both go in for a hug. They’re always doing things together without thinking. Must be that twin thing. I wonder if Preston and Greyson ever did the same things as boys. I hate that they’re so distant. My sisters stick together like glue, I can’t imagine if one hurt the other, how they’d cope.
“Yeah, Savy, find a good one. There has to be a cowboy out there that’s willing to whisk you off your feet.” Mabel pats me on the head like I’m the little sister, giving me a wink.
“Cowboys aren’t as handsome as they make them out to be in the romance novels, girls.”
Because of their age, they get their ideas about love from books and movies and it’s just not realistic. I’m not a cynic about love, I grew up witnessing great, epic love. With it comes sacrifice and compromise and the best parts give you butterflies, but it can also be taken away. You do everything you can to make it work and even then, it sometimes doesn’t. I wish I still had those bright childlike notions like my sisters. Ignorance is bliss indeed.
Why are they all trying to push me into a relationship? I had one before and look how that turned out. There’s no opposition to finding someone new, I just don’t think it needs to be my biggest priority. I have my archery and working at the facility that makes me happy. I don’t feel that much alone either; I have Grey and Theo and all my friends and family. My heart, however, does ache for intimacy. The house gets lonely at night. Perhaps I should just get a dog. They love you no matter what, loyal to a fault.
I blow them kisses as they drive away back to school and I miss them before they’ve left the darn parking lot. Turning to my dad, he opens his arms. I step into that circle of comfort and warmth, and any anxiety just slips away.
“My little Savannah, it’s been too long, you gotta come to see your old man more often.”
I release a breath into his jacket, muffling my voice. “It’s going to get busy soon planning for the retreat, but you’re right, I need to come home more.”
He lifts my chin up with his fingers. “I know you don’t want to come home because you might run into Brody.”
I bite my lip. He’s right. He’s the last person I want to see. “Yes, but you’re more important than him, so I just need to suck it up. I’m good at avoiding.”
He chuckles. “That you are, sweetie. But don’t let him stand in your way of doing whatever you want. Especially, when it comes to meeting other people to get close to. Not every man is going to hurt you like he did.”
I look down at my hands. “I played a part in the divorce—”
“Stop, that’s nonsense. Having kids is not always in your control so stop trying to blame yourself for that. The right man is going to love you no matter what.”
“Thanks, dad. I’m trying, you know that. Be careful going home, we’ll talk soon.”
He gives me a wink and a chuck under my chin before he leaves.
Driving back home, my windows are down, and the wind blows across my face and through my hair, reminding me of my mom’s caresses, telling me everything is going to be alright.
A knock interrupts my Netflix binge-fest. I initially thought about asking Preston if he wanted to come over—to you know, Netflix and chill—until I researched it online and clued in it meant something totally different from watching movies together. Freudian slip, maybe? If I were to lie on Sigmund’s couch to get psychoanalyzed, I’d need a line of his coke to get through the diagnosis:
Obsessive City-boy Disorder.
Flipping the blanket off my lap, the cool air slides across my legs, and my hands rub at my knees to ease away the goosebumps. “Come in, the doors open!” I call from the couch, not ready to get up.
“Auntie Savy!” Theo blurs past me to the kitchen, where he knows I keep snacks just for him.
Grey steps in, shrugging at his tiny human. “Sorry, I think he on
ly loves you for your snacks.” He looks past me to the kitchen. “Don’t make a mess, kid, or you’ll be cleaning it up.” Glancing back at me, he shoots me an annoyed look. “You shouldn’t leave your door unlocked, it’s not safe.”
I roll my eyes up at him. “Thanks dad.” Shaking my head at his scowl, I chuckle. “What’s shaking bacon? Want to watch a movie with me?”
At least with Grey, I know it would just be a movie and chilling.
“We’d love to, but I came over to ask you for a favor. I’m sorry, I know today isn’t the best day to ask you for anything, but I’m kind of desperate.”
I wave away his apology. “It’s fine. What do you need?”
Scratching his head, he peers behind me again. Before he can speak, Theo bounds down the hallway and tugs on my hand.
“You’re going to take me to mom’s house!” He squeezes my hand before running and tumbling onto the couch, distracted temporarily by something out the window. Kids are like squirrels.
“Oh, I am?” I respond, angling my head. I wait for Grey to explain. Not that I care, Turtle is cool.
“Can you? Please? I flubbed up the times. She’s finishing up an appointment and I have one I need to get to, and I can’t be late. It’s with a potential seller of some land. Preston said this would be an excellent opportunity to expand.”
I perk up at his name and hope fills my voice. “Preston? Does this mean you guys are talking?”
“I wouldn’t go that far. However, we aren’t trying to murder each other in the hallway at the moment.” He then arches an eyebrow. “But, from my viewpoint, you two are doing more than just being friends.”
I cough into my elbow to hide my flaming face. Oh crap. I forgot all about Greyson catching us making out like a bunch of horny teenagers. My face heats to another degree. It’s weird looking at Preston’s twin and having no feelings except tender friendship, but then one glance at Mr. Manhattan and I’m reduced to a smoldering pile of ash.
“We’re uh, friends. That’s it.”
I can tell he doesn’t believe me. Hell, I don’t even believe it myself. Friends don’t kiss like that, and I don’t think the rules have changed on that front.
Grey watches out my front window, face pensive. My stomach is queasy, my lunch from earlier experiencing rough waters, the threat of capsizing imminent.
“Savy, I … just please be careful.” Now, he’s the one who looks like he’s going to puke.
“I know he was engaged once. He told me the other night. It’s ok, I get it. I was married, I know how things can sometimes not work out.”
He blanches. “He told you? Did he say anything else?”
“No, nor do I expect him to. It sounded like it ended painfully and I’m the expert at painful relationships, so I didn’t pry. You ok? You’re acting funny.”
He recovers quickly and bends over to tie one of Theo’s shoelaces that came undone. “I’m fine, it’s all good. Thanks for doing this for me.” He ushers Theo to his things and slides his phone out, effectively ending the conversation.
He’s hiding something. The gnawing and gnashing of my nerves is sending clear signals. There’s something he isn’t telling me, and it’s about Preston. I don’t have time to force a confession from him before I’m wrangling Theo out the door and into my car.
I’m so preoccupied by my thoughts, I notice nothing until Theo is pinching my arm and shouting. “Auntie Savy! Are you listening to me?” his little face is red, mouth set in a firm scowl.
Rubbing my arm, soothing the pain, I catch his eyes in the rearview mirror. “Ouch! Theo!”
Seeing his little face crumple, I reach behind me to pat his leg. “Sorry, buddy, I was distracted. What did you want to tell me?”
He leans up so his head is flush to the arm he pinched. “I’m just curious why you call my mom Turtle?”
Laughing, I rest my head on his for a second, eyes on the road. “Funny story, bud. When I first met your mom, she was trying to rescue a turtle that was crossing the road. She didn’t want it to get run over, but she was afraid it might be a snapping turtle. Your dad handed baby you off to me and went to help her. So, the name stuck.”
I shrug the shoulder he’s leaning against, and he giggles when his head bobs up and down. “I hope the turtle was ok.”
“The turtle was fine, went back to his turtle family.”
“That’s good.” He sits back and juts out his bottom lip, flicking it with his fingers. “Do you love my dad?” he blurts out.
I jerk the wheel and manage not to run off the road. Heart thumping fast, I place a hand on my chest. “Your dad is my friend, of course, I love him.”
“I mean like love, love him.” Sheesh, kid, you’re full of loaded questions today.
“Not love love, bud. He’s my friend, it’s a different love. Why do you ask?”
Watching him through the rearview mirror, he’s drawing in the condensation on the glass. He’s quiet for a few minutes, each of which sets my heart racing out of my chest. I hope to dear Lord baby Jesus that he hasn’t overheard Grey saying anything about having feelings for me. I will run for the hills and never return.
“It’s just that he and momma aren’t together, and I just want him happy.”
My lips turn down into a pout. So that’s what this third degree is about.
“Theo, your dad is happy. You make him happy and SoS makes him happy.”
That seems to pacify him as he doesn’t ask me any more questions. Wincing, I rub my temple. I dodged a bullet. For today. Is this what it’s like to raise kids? Constantly answering a million questions and hoping you answer them the best way possible?
We pull up to Turtle’s house and find her sitting outside on the front steps, flipping through a magazine, her blonde hair hanging in her face. The small cottage-style house with a porch big enough for a chair and a swing offers an idyllic country feel. Painted white with blue shutters, boxwood shrubs under the big front window that need a trim, it speaks of Turtle’s carefree mentality.
She waves when we park and Theo bounces around in his booster seat. Smiling, I exit, lifting the front seat so he can slide out. Running to her, he jumps into her arms, wrapping himself around her, burying his head in her neck.
I’ve grown to accept that I’ll never have biological children, but seeing Theo’s unconditional love for his mom that comes from such an innate place, grabs a hold of my heart and squeezes it until it’s a useless piece of flesh.
Turtle, with her ruby red lips, whispers something in his ear. He grins as he wiggles out of her arms and sprints into the house. Giving me a friendly smile, she comes over to help me with her son’s bag.
I like Turtle. She’s incredibly sweet and we’ve hung out more than a few times over the years, lunch and coffee dates, super casual. She’s not Lynn, that best friend position is already filled, but she’s nice enough. I wish we were closer. That’s the hardest part about being a grownup—trying to make friends.
Grey keeps her at a safe distance, and I questioned why. Why were they not together? He said he and Turtle simply didn’t work out. It was a one-night stand in college brought on by too much drinking and it ended with a pregnancy. They made it work for Theo, but that’s it. I never inquired about it further, never needed to. Quoting Theo, I just want my friend happy too.
“Savy, thanks for bringing him by. Grey and I appreciate it.” She tucks a blonde lock behind her ear only for it to pop back out.
She spins around when Theo barrels out the front door yelling, “Mom! You gotta come hang out at SoS soon. You’ll never guess who’s there!” he leapfrogs up next to Turtle, channeling Tigger on a sugar high.
“Who’s there, baby? A new friend?”
“Uncle P! Did you know daddy has a twin? I can’t believe it. He’s kind of grumpy though.” Theo rambles on, but Turtle’s face stops me from laughing. Her face is void of any color except her blood-red lipstick. With her blonde hair, she resembles a character out of a horror movie.
&
nbsp; Placing a hand on her arm, she flinches, her face swiveling to mine. “You alright?”
Waving her hand, she then crosses her arms and nods at Theo, who’s still talking about who knows what. “I’m good. That’s nice, buddy. I’m glad to hear that.” Her body language suggests she’s anything but glad.
Suddenly, my intuition fires up. She acts like she didn’t know Preston was here. Grey didn’t tell her. Why would that be such a big deal? Maybe I’m reading too much into it. That’s it. I’m just being dramatic. My feelings for Preston are impeding any rational thought. Greyson’s my friend; he has no reason to lie to me and I’m sure whatever it is, it’s nothing.
Shaking away the negative thoughts trying to break through my consciousness, Theo soon distracts us with his crazy six-year-old antics.
13
PRESTON
“You free? I have a surprise for you.” Savy glides into my office doorway, sinfully delicious in her tight jeans and cowboy boots, leaning in the doorway like a boss. Am I in the Dukes of Hazard movie? The longer I’m around her—and I’ve been making it a point to be where she is—the more I realize she could be the one to fix whatever has bounced up into my undercarriage, not the other way around.
She steps in and saunters to my desk, waving her hands in front of my face.
“Yoo hoo, Preston? You in there?” She taps my temple and I grab her wrist, bringing her in to smack a kiss on her lips, smelling her signature vanilla, mint, and strawberry scent.
“I just wanted you to come closer.” Grinning at the feigned irritation on her face, I close my laptop and recline back in my chair, clasping my hands behind my head.
“You rat,” she jokes, rolling her eyes.
“Careful now, those pretty eyes might fall out of your head from all the rolling they do.” I smirk, watching her stand there with her hands on her hips.
“If you weren’t such a pain in my rear, they’d stay put.”
“That would be boring. And yes, I’m free, or at least working on things that can wait. What’s my surprise?” I come around my desk and park myself on the edge, crossing my legs at the ankle.