by Ashley Kay
“How do you get over something like that? I might have been able to forgive her if it wasn’t Grey, maybe I wouldn’t have run away.” His voice trails off, the rain growing louder, dousing any happiness from this day. How does one get over such a profound duplicity by your own family member? I’m crumbling inside. For him.
Flashes of lightening mimic the flashes of questions burning up my mind. The hardest question is the one I must ask. “Are you sure you’re over her?” I shrivel up in the blanket, clutching it tighter around me, fingers stiff. After what we’ve done and shared over the last few months, the possibility of him still harboring feelings for Scarlett hurts more than hiding the truth.
Preston’s fingers inch closer to mine, gripping them fiercely against his clammy skin. “Seven years is a long time. And being here—with you—has changed how I feel about a lot of things.”
I hope it’s enough.
I clutch my stomach, acid building up. Squeezing his fingers hard, I swallow back bile. “Preston, I’m sorry. I don’t feel so well. Can you take me home? I think some of it might be the wine.”
I had to get out of here.
Nodding, he folds the blanket and stuffs it in the back, eyeing me the entire time. His face is wrecked, the lines scoring his forehead, and I wish I could lean over and erase them with a kiss. Instead, I scoot over and lay my head on the window, the cool glass fogging under my breath.
The ride back is silent, but not the good kind. This is torture, the air thick with unspoken words.
He walks me to my door and pulls me in for a hug. I stiffen, then can’t help but melt into him. I cling to him, gripping his shirt tight. I need him to know that even though I’m torn to shreds on the inside, I’ll strive to be whole for him. He kisses my head and releases me.
Tilting my chin up, he tracks my eyes back and forth. “I’ll check on you tomorrow, ok? If you need anything, just knock.” He gives me a half-smile and steps back to go home.
I pull him in one more time and kiss him long and hard. He grabs the back of my head and holds me to his lips. Breaking away, I press my fingers to my mouth and offer him a tiny smile. “Goodnight, Preston.”
I let myself inside my house and lean against the shut door. My chest caves and I burst into tears. Muffling my mouth so Preston doesn’t hear me through the thin walls, I race to my room and throw myself on my bed. Curling into myself, I try to sleep, only to fall into nightmares.
Head pounding, eyes swollen, I look like an ogre in the mirror and feel like one on the inside.
Flipping my phone over, I’m greeted with a text from Preston asking if I’m feeling any better and if we could talk later. Closing my eyes, I rub a hand down my face. I can’t talk to him right now. Ignoring it, I take a shower to erase the ugly feelings creeping in.
How could Greyson do this to him? It’s like I don’t even know him…
I grit my teeth as I step out of the shower, a furious rage flushing through my skin. Whipping the towel around me, I stomp to my room and snatch up my phone. After firing off a text, I take a deep breath to calm the restless beast inside and get dressed.
Leaving the house, I force myself not to look at Preston’s, no matter how much I want to see him. Nothing can impede what I need to do and say. And he’s the sweetest distraction.
Greyson is waiting for me when I storm onto his front porch. He’s leaning forward in a rocking chair with a cup of coffee in his hands and one waiting on the table next to him, the steam curling in the dewy morning air.
Standing in front of him, hands on my hips, eyes flaring, I barely register the paleness of his face. I have a feeling he already knows why I need to talk to him.
“Grey.”
“He told you, didn’t he?”
“How could you?” Swiping a rogue tear sliding down my face, I just stand there, not sure if I should yell at him or slug him.
Sitting back, he asks, “Can I at least explain?”
“What is there to explain? You slept with your brother’s fiancée, had a baby with her, and kept this from him for all these years. Kept it from me! You let me get close to him, knowing I knew Scarlett.” I can’t break down, not yet. I need him to fix this.
Head in his hands, he shakes it back and forth. “It was an accident. Please believe me.”
Sitting down on the step, I pound the wood with my fist. “If it was an accident, you wouldn’t have kept it a secret from me.”
Eyes blazing, he flattens his lips. “It wasn’t that simple. Preston didn’t believe us, neither did any of our other friends. But I swear to you, Savannah, it was an accident. She thought I was Preston, and I was so drunk, I didn’t realize it was her until it was too late.”
His voice is pained, and I’m struggling. He’s been a dear friend of mine for years, yet at this very moment, I fear him a stranger.
“Grey,” my voice trembles, pitching so low I almost can’t hear myself. “How?”
Squeezing his eyes shut with a tear streaking down one cheek, he answers, his voice hoarse, “I was on a bender. It was so bad, so so bad.”
He breaks down, tears now avalanching from his red eyes. “Preston’s face—when he found us—I’d never seen him so angry, so hurt, so devastated by something, not even after all the shit I put us through. We finally made amends a year before, things were good, back to normal, and then I had to go fuck it all up.” Snot pours from his nose, and he wipes it away with his sleeve. The devastation is so clear on his face, there’s no way he’s lying to me now.
I open my arms and he sits down next to me on the step, falling into me. Sobs wrack his body as he releases all the years of carrying a lie around. I wrap my arms around him and rock back and forth, rubbing his back. It reminds me of cradling one of my sisters when they were upset.
As I hold on to Grey, my thoughts are solely on Preston. Here I am, torn between a set of brothers. One I care immensely for and the other I desperately want, but was likely to never have again. I lie my head on Greyson’s, his shoulders no longer shaking.
“I’m sorry you had to go through that,” I breathe out, ruffling his hair.
Sitting up, he wipes his face and sniffs. Staring out beyond the porch and into the forests, a small smile tugs at his lips.
Facing me, he frowns, stretching out a finger towards my face. “Sorry, I got tears all over you. At least I hope it’s just tears.”
“Aw, gross, Greyson Andrew Lee. Disgusting. Bleck.” He grins, taking his sleeve to wipe the rest of my face and neck. Swatting him away, I sigh. “Why didn’t you just tell me? I would have believed you.”
“I didn’t want you to judge me.”
Confused, I furrow my brows. “Judge you?”
“Yes, because of what went down between you and Brody. I was there when it happened. It crushed you. I didn’t want to be another person who hurt you. Scarlett and I felt it was best to not tell anyone the truth. We made up a story that was plausible and just left it at that. Preston wasn’t speaking to me, and I didn’t think he ever would. Then when dad wrote up that will, my stomach bottomed out. I knew I’d have to tell him, and I dreaded it. I knew I’d have to tell you, and I just kept avoiding it all. I didn’t even tell Scarlett he was here.”
“That’s why she was surprised when Theo mentioned Uncle P was in town.”
Grey’s eyes stretch wide. “Oh, shit.”
“Oh shit, is right. You have a mess to clean up and you have to do it fast. Like right now. I can’t keep this from Preston, you know that. I’ve already beat myself up over it and it’s making me physically ill.” I clutch my stomach. Last night’s events sear into my brain. I miss Preston’s touch. I miss him.
Then another revelation shot through me just as intensely as all the rest. “Theo! Oh my god, Grey.” I take a deep breath. “Are you a hundred percent sure he’s yours?” The saliva pooling in my mouth turns rank, and I desperately wish I had a drink to wash it down. I’m certain Preston would go off the deep end if he found out he was a father and di
d not know.
He laces his fingers in his lap and stares at them. “Yes, I’m sure. At first, I convinced myself he wasn’t mine so I wouldn’t have to take responsibility, then I realized how shitty of a person that made me. Those thoughts horrified me. There’s no paternity test that can determine with numbers because P and I are identical twins, but I trust Scarlett. She said that it had been too long since she had been intimate with Preston—there was no way. Theo’s mine.”
I sag my shoulders in relief that is short-lived. “Preston is going to hate us, hate me.” I hang my head, letting my hair rain down in front of my face.
Tugging on my strands, Grey says, “I’m so sorry to put you in the middle of this, I really am.”
“I know, but now you have to make it right.”
He stands up and dusts off the back of his pants. Reaching down, he helps me to my feet. “Can you give me a few days? After the barn dance? I don’t want to make it awkward for everyone if it goes bad, and we know it will go over badly. He’s been asking about Scar and I’ve avoided it.”
Leaning my head back, I close my eyes to the heavens. The sun shining down on my face does nothing to warm the coldness that’s settled in my body. A few days? It’s one day too many.
“I threatened him about you.”
Swinging my head to him, my eyes widen. “You what? Why?”
He shrugs, scratching his head, his face sheepish. “It was when we were fixing the bridge. I just wanted him to know that he couldn’t treat you like any of his conquests in New York.”
“I’m a big girl, Greyson. I can make those decisions on my own.” Thinking of all those other women that had been in his arms and in his bed made me jealous. I had it bad for him and now it won’t matter. I will just be another notch on his bedpost.
“I know. I also told him I’d stay out of it. Can’t help it, you’re my friend, I don’t want to lose you.”
“You wouldn’t have lost me. But you might lose your brother again.” I clench my hands tight, at war with myself.
Blowing out a breath, he pulls me in for a hug. “I’m sorry, I fucked it up. I’ll tell him soon, I promise. I’ll get him to see that you had nothing to do with it.”
I hope this doesn’t implode because I want both in my life, but only one in my heart.
19
PRESTON
Something is wrong—I can feel it. Savy did all the right things last night after I let out my demons. She reacted the way I thought she would, but there was something off about it. I’ve grown close enough to her to sense when something’s amiss.
She left early this morning before I could find her to talk and now she’s not answering my texts. She has to be confused and has every right to be. I only wish she’d stop avoiding me so we can figure this out together.
Sighing, I get out of bed and get dressed. It’s the first day I’ve woken up alone in weeks—I hate it. The bed is too cold.
Shrugging into a t-shirt and jeans, I can’t stop thinking. I’m worried that maybe things between us were too much too fast. Brody hurt her badly, and she has every right to be wary of new relationships.
When Savy asked me if I was over Scarlett, I didn’t hesitate. She was my past, and I want Savy to be my future. The more time I spend with her, the more I realize that those other women weren’t right for me—that life wasn’t right for me. I want nothing more than to take her in my arms and tell her that no matter what’s bothering her, I’ll be there for her.
I want to kiss her lips, hear her sweet moans as we share an out-of-this-world connection, and laugh at my ridiculous attempts at fitting in.
I want to hear her witty comebacks and watch her train her clients while I’m supposed to be working. It scares me how deep I’m falling, and if we don’t work out, I’ll be scarred for life. This sassy woman utterly obliterated my no relationship rule. The fine print reads null because I can’t erase her from my mind or my heart, nor do I ever want to.
I don’t have many to go to for advice on this. Nico is my best friend, but he’s been in a long-term happy relationship for years and would offer me some generic advice I could just as easily read in a Good Housekeeping magazine. Greyson … well, he’s avoiding me too. I’m fearing I have some communicable disease that everyone except me knows about. Besides, he’s team Savy, so he’d just blame me. Some truce we have.
That leaves Shelby.
I can’t believe that I’m seeking the philosophic bastard, but here I am, running toward him for advice about women. I must be out of my mind.
Shelby is tending the stalls, tossing hay bales into each of the horses’ corrals, speaking words of comfort and love to each of them as he passes.
“Ready to get your hands dirty, son?” I didn’t realize he saw me—he had his back to me the entire time.
“Don’t act all surprised. I’ve been waiting for you to come talk to me. Grab a shovel and some gloves. Wouldn’t want to roughen up those baby soft hands of yours, hotshot.”
Glancing down at my smooth hands, I huff and do as I’m told. “You’re an interesting man. Has anyone ever told you that?”
Chuckling, he escorts me to the first stall that’s empty, gesturing me inside. From the looks of it, I’m going to be shoveling crap.
Remind me again why I thought this was a good idea? Oh yeah, for advice on a woman I’m falling for but don’t understand because I’ve been a dumbass for most of my adulthood with the opposite sex…
“Trouble in paradise?”
Whipping my head toward him, he rewards me with an enormous grin, blue eyes twinkling, and a chipped front tooth on full display. “That’s what I thought. Talk to me, son, let’s work this out for ya.”
I perch my arms on top of the shovel. “To be honest, I don’t know. Things were good, we were fine and then suddenly I spill my guts and she retreats.” Shrugging my shoulders, I resume my work, wrinkling up my nose every time the stench of feces reaches me.
“Women are fascinating creatures, aren’t they?”
“I don’t know about fascinating, more like terrifying.”
Sitting down on an upside-down bucket, Shelby looks delighted to have someone else doing his job. Arms crossed, he watches as I shovel, and I make it a point not to complain one bit about it.
Two can play this game, old man.
“What seems to be the problem?”
Leaning against the stall, I scrub my jaw. I need a shave, but out here it feels customary to have a beard, or at least a permanent five o’clock shadow. Besides, Savy likes a little scruff, especially when I go down on her.
“How do you know when to back off from someone that’s important to you or when to fight for them?”
“Do you care about her?” He cocks his head.
Did I? It’s obvious I do. Maybe too much. “Yes.”
“Then it’s simple. I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase, ‘actions speak louder than words?’”
I nod, because it’s something that was practically drilled into me as a kid. Thanks mom.
“Show, don’t just tell, Preston. Anyone can string together words and dress them all up fancy-like, creating beautiful poetry or sonnets, but if you can’t back them up with actions, then it’s a complete waste of your breath. Show her how you feel, and if it’s enough, it will be enough.”
I mull over his words for a bit. It makes sense. Savy could be withdrawn because Brody told her he loved her, but his actions said otherwise, and it might scare her to open up again to someone else.
A new sense of determination comes over me. I’ve prided myself on being a man that goes after what he wants. It’s how I’ve become so successful in my career. But what was all that success if there’s no one in your corner to share it with?
“Do you have someone special? You seem to have a lot of knowledge on this subject.”
Tapping his gloved hands together, he winks. “I did, a long time ago. Best person to ever grace this place. A whippersnapper she was, always kept me on my toes. May go
d rest her soul.”
“I’m sorry to hear that she passed.”
Waving me away, he says, “She’s better off, but the time I had with her—I never wasted a minute. Time is elusive. You think you have enough of it and then one day it’s all gone.”
Slapping me on the back and wandering back outside the barn, his voice echoes off the walls. “Make sure you understand your worth as well, Preston. You deserve love just as much as the next person.”
I’ve spent half of my life questioning my worth and somehow, out here in this place, and through the people here, my protective armor has been dented.
Something butts into my back as I’m bent over to clear space in the stall. Spinning, Milkdud shakes out her head and huffs at me. If cows could huff, she’s the master at it.
“What? You think I’m an idiot too? I need at least one lady on my side.” I scratch behind her ears and swear she smiled at me.
“Have any advice?” She cocks her head and nuzzles my hand, looking for some treats. “Food, huh? Well, I know that’s always on your mind, but I don’t think that will work for our Miss Savy. Back to the drawing board.”
After feeding Milkdud, I go back to the stalls, scouring my brain for a game plan. This is a challenge I refuse to back down from.
20
SAVANNAH
My thoughts are on replay—looping and constantly reminding me I’m keeping secrets.
Preston’s text to me this morning remains unanswered. Every glance up to his office while I’m training is part curiosity and part torture. He didn’t come in until about two hours ago, and I wonder what he’s been up to. Is he avoiding me, too?
I finish up with my last client, hang up my bow, and tell myself I wouldn’t look again. I lied.
My heart lurches. He’s watching me, hand in one pocket and the other coming up to wave at me. Face burning, I lift my hand and wave back. He moves to his office door, hesitating a moment before opening it and striding down the stairs.