I unbuckled Rynlee from her car seat and carried her into the building, her little arms wrapped tightly around my neck.
“Hey, stranger,”’ Becky said, a giant smile on her face when we walked through the door. “Nice to see you here.”
“Hey,” I said. “I brought you coffee.” I held out the tray in my hands, letting her take it before I set Rynlee on the floor. She took off instantly.
“Thanks,” Becky said, taking the cup. “Hey, listen…I need to talk to you.”
My heart fell at the words, knowing what they would mean. “You’re leaving.”
Instead of shaking her head, dismissing the ridiculous claim, she pressed her lips together. “I’m sorry, I know this is the worst possible time.”
I tried not to let her see my hands beginning to shake. “I, uh, no. Well, yes, because any time would be awful to lose you, but it’ll be okay. How long do I have you?”
“A month,” she said, a bit of relief in her eyes. “Maybe a bit more. Jude’s getting transferred to the Cincinnati office.”
“Cincinnati?” I asked, my jaw dropping. “Wow! Long way from home. Are you guys…excited…nervous…” I trailed off, waiting for her to fill in the blank.
She patted the counter, a growing smile on her face. “Excited, mostly, but nervous, too. Neither of us have ever been more than a few hours away from this place. It’s going to be a big change.”
I walked around the edge of the counter, holding my arms out to hug her despite the gripping fear in my belly. What am I going to do without her? “I’m so happy for you,” I told her.
“Thanks,” she said, patting my back before pulling out of the hug. “I just feel so guilty. I’ve been avoiding saying anything because I know how much you have on your plate right now, but I wanted to give you as much time as possible to prepare.” She paused, biting her lip. “Meredith will be back by then, right? I mean, I won’t be leaving you all alone?” Her sentence was a question, one I desperately wished I knew the answer to.
“I hope so,” I said, “but don’t worry about it. We’ll figure something out, if not. Do you think you could get a ‘Help Wanted’ sign put up in the window for me here in the next day or two? Hopefully we can get someone hired and trained by you before you leave.”
She nodded. “I’d be happy to.”
“Thanks, Becky,” I said with a small sigh. I didn’t want her to feel guilty. Honestly, I didn’t. We were paying her minimum wage, and she was a sweet girl with her life ahead of her. I wanted her to move on and live her life, despite the position that would put me in. I looked over my shoulder to where Ryn stood, smelling each individual flower in the shop. “I’m going to step into the office and check some emails. Do you need anything from me?”
“Nope,” Becky said, and I watched her shoulders fall with relief as I walked past her.
“Rynlee, Mommy’s going into the office. You can come in here if you want.”
“Okay,” she called loudly, though she didn’t follow me. I hadn’t expected her to. From the time Meredith and I had signed a lease on the shop, it had become Rynlee’s favorite place. She’d grown up there just as much as she had our home.
At least one of those places still felt safe.
When I sat down in my chair in the small office, I felt my phone vibrate in my jacket pocket. I pulled it out.
What is the matter?
Thank God, it was Meredith. I dialed her number, desperate to hear her voice. To my surprise, it rang through to voicemail. I frowned, typing out a message.
Can I call you? Long story.
The bubbles came up quickly, letting me know she was typing. I waited anxiously, wondering why she hadn’t just called me back. I tried to keep the irritation at bay.
Can’t talk right now, we’re in the mountains and don’t have service. Just text. What’s going on?
In the mountains? I furrowed my brow. Becky put in her notice. I decided to tell her. So we need to figure out what we’re going to do about hiring someone new. Do you have any idea how long you’ll be gone?
This time, the bubbles didn’t appear right away, and a nagging sense of dread filled my stomach. I watched the screen for a few moments, waiting for her answer and tapping my pen against the desk with irritation. Why was this all on me? I’d tried my hardest to be understanding and supportive, but why was I the one left to deal with everyone else’s issues? It just didn’t seem fair.
My phone dinged in response. He is taking me to Spain soon. I am not sure when I will be back. Can you handle it?
I sighed. I wanted to tell her that of course I couldn’t handle it, that when we’d agreed to go into business together, we’d agreed to handle everything equally, that this was just as much her problem as it was mine, and that she was incredibly selfish for disappearing and leaving me without so much as a goodbye. I wanted her to know how much she’d hurt me, on top of all the pain I was already feeling, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t say any of that. Instead, I said, Sounds good. I’ll figure something out. I wanted to talk to you about something else too...I need advice.
This time, her response was instant. What’s going on?
It’s about Jack, I said. His mother has moved in with us and we’ve been having issues.
Uh-oh, trouble in paradise? Why’s his mother there?
I sighed, resigning myself to the fact that this conversation was going to have to happen via text. Jack’s father passed away right after the wedding and she’s having a hard time...supposedly.
Supposedly? She was texting back faster than ever now, making me question her stuck in the mountains excuse. Maybe she was just tired of listening to my problems now that she had her own life.
I’m just not sure I believe it. She’s been really difficult and Jack doesn’t see it. It’s just making me uncomfortable.
So, kick her out? It’s your house, Lor. You make the rules.
It’s not that simple. I rolled my eyes, if only. If I were Meredith, it would be that simple, no question, but I hadn’t been blessed with the backbone my cousin had.
Why not?
Because Jack’s my husband now, I have to consider his feelings. He wants her there.
Sounds like Mommy-issues to me. I’d give him an ultimatum. You or her.
Mer, I can’t do that.
Suit yourself. Listen, I have to go. We’re getting ready to head into the hot tub. Keep me posted on how things go and just remember...you get to determine how people treat you. Love you. Xx.
I shook my head, placing the phone face down on the counter. She made things seem so simple, but in reality—my reality—they stayed far from it.
Chapter Twenty-One
Loren
When we got home that night, the house was lit up—the whole bottom floor bright with lights. To my surprise, Jack’s sedan was in the driveway. It was rare that he arrived home before me.
I pulled Rynlee from her car seat and headed into the house, surprised to smell cinnamon when I hit the door. As I pushed the front door open and stepped inside, the warmth of the house hitting me quickly, I gasped.
“What’s going on?”
Jack was standing in the foyer. He spun to see me, a warm expression on his face. “Welcome home,” he said, holding his arms out for me. I leaned in for a cautious hug.
“What are you doing? What’s that smell?”
He shook his head, his smile growing as he jerked his head in the direction of the kitchen. “It’s not me.”
“What?”
Before he could say any more, I heard footsteps coming our direction—the unmistakable sound of her heels clicking across our hardwood floors. I braced myself, my stomach literally clenching at the thought of seeing her.
“Hello!” she said, smiling and waving as if she were a candidate in a beauty pageant.
“Hi, what, uh, what’s going on?”
“Well,” she stepped down off the tiny step from the kitchen into the foyer, “Jack and I spoke this morning and he mentioned how
upset you’ve been with me.” My eyes darted to Jack in a scowl.
“It’s just been a difficult—”
“I know,” she cut me off. “I know I haven’t made any of this easy on you, but I want to fix that, Loren. I don’t want you to resent me. Two separate families, all these separate lives under one roof…it puts a lot of strain on a person. I get it. You’re trying to adjust to having my son here, and now I’m here too, and I’m an old woman set in my ways, not used to having a child around who I have to be careful with. All I’m saying is, I know my stay here has been difficult. I’ve been suffering, grieving, lost in my own world…but that doesn’t excuse my behavior. So, I’ve spent the day cleaning the house for you—” I felt the dig in her words, though I knew Jack wouldn’t hear them. I’m not a good enough housekeeper, she was saying. “And I’ve prepared meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and corn casserole. Jack said it’s your favorite. Along with an apple pie.” She smiled, obviously proud of herself. “I know it’s not enough to totally earn your forgiveness, but I’m hoping it’s a start.”
Again, I noticed what I often noticed with Coralee’s apologies, there was no semblance of the words ‘I’m sorry’ anywhere in them.
“Thank you, Coralee,” I said after a moment because they were all waiting on a response. “That was very kind of you.”
We walked into the dining room after I’d stopped by the kitchen to wash my hands, and I saw that Coralee had, in fact, prepared all of my favorite foods—coordinated by Jack, I was sure—and they were sitting out, ready to be served.
I tried not to show how impressed or hungry I was as I filled Rynlee’s plate, then my own. When I sat down, Coralee began to make Jack’s and then her own. As she put the last helping of Jack’s food on his plate, her eyes met mine, but I refused to give her the satisfaction. I looked away instantly, sticking my fork into the food.
Before I could take the first bite, a terrifying thought filled my mind.
What if she’d poisoned us? What if this was a trap?
I looked at Rynlee, who was staring at her food without eating either and, though I knew it wasn’t likely, I couldn’t help wondering if she was thinking the same thing.
“Well, go on then,” Jack said, reaching out for my hand. “Eat up. Mom’s an excellent cook.”
I paused, trying to move my way through the maze of a situation. “Well, I think I’d like to have a drink first. Rynlee, would you like some milk before you eat?” She nodded. I stood, grabbing the empty glasses in front of us. “But you guys go ahead and dig in.” I knew it hadn’t come across as casually as I’d hoped, but I had no choice. When Rynlee moved to take a bite, I nearly lunged at her. “Wait!” I cried, and her fork clattered back to the plate, her expression startled. “Wait, Ryn. You need to drink something first…” I looked at Jack and Coralee, who could see right through my lies.
“Oh, for goodness sake,” Coralee said, shoving her fork into the food on my plate and taking a bite to prove it wasn’t poisoned. “Do you honestly think I’m trying to kill you? I’m feeding my son this food.” She scoffed, her jaw hung open in disbelief as she shook her head.
“I’m sorry, of course I didn’t—”
“I don’t think I’m hungry,” she said, cutting me off and standing from the table. “Jack, would you mind cleaning all of this up?”
“Of course, Mom,” he said, his eyes following her as she left the room. “Do you want some in your room?” His voice carried down the hall, but we never heard her answer. When she was far enough away Jack must’ve assumed she couldn’t hear us, and he lifted his fork and took a bite of his food, not meeting my eyes.
“Jack, I’m sor—”
“Let’s just eat, Loren. I don’t want to—” He sighed. “I can’t do this right now.”
“I didn’t think—”
“We both know what you thought. I can’t do this right now.”
“You have to understand where I’m coming from. My first priority isn’t to protect your feelings, or even your mother’s, it’s to protect my child. If I thought even for a minute that she might’ve done something to the food and hadn’t spoken up, I would’ve never forgiven myself. What about the peanut butter incident? Can you really blame me after all that’s happened?”
He took a bite of his food, his jaw tight. “Well, I’m eating it and not dying, so I think you’re fine.”
“Jack, please—”
“Can we just drop it? I begged Mom to cook for us. Talked to her all day about how stressful things have been for you. I keep having her apologize; over and over she makes these statements about how sorry she is for things she didn’t mean to do. Yes, I know she’s made things difficult. Yes, I know the room situation is ridiculous, and I’ve told her as much. I go to bat for you with her all the time, just like I do for her with you. You’re my wife, but she’s my mom. I can’t choose one over the other. Don’t ask me to do that, okay? I’m trying to stay on both of your sides and keep everyone happy, but…I just can’t win here.”
“What’s wrong? Why can’t we eat?” Rynlee asked, running her fork over her food nervously.
“You can eat, sweet girl, it’s fine. I’m sorry I scared you.” I made my way to the kitchen and filled her glass with milk, mine with chardonnay. When I came back, they were eating in silence, and I felt about two inches tall. I handed her milk to her, sitting down in my chair.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, lifting my fork and taking a bite for good measure, though my stomach was rumbling with stress and I knew I likely wouldn’t clear my plate.
“I know,” he said, meeting my eyes for just a moment. “I know.”
* * *
When I entered our bedroom that evening, Jack was waiting for me. I knew he would be, which is why I’d spent extra time with Rynlee, even once she had reluctantly gone to sleep. I wanted to avoid the conversation I knew was coming.
“Sit down, Loren,” he commanded, his tone one I’d never heard from him. I saw the disappointment in his eyes, knew what I was doing to us.
I sat obediently on the edge of the bench to my vanity. “Look, Jack, I—”
“Please, just…let me talk, okay?”
I nodded, my chest tight with apprehension. There was so much I wanted to say to him, to explain, but I knew the harder I pushed to make my actions and my thoughts make sense, the more I’d push him away. My issues, the real issues weren’t with Jack. I knew the situation must be tough for him. My issues were with Coralee. Our relationship had been strong before her. He’d made me laugh, made me feel secure, made me feel wanted. I’d never been looked at the way he looked at me. I wanted to show my daughter that love doesn’t come easy, marriage doesn’t. I wanted her to see that it was work, but that the work was worth it.
“I don’t know what’s happening,” he said, and I bit down on my tongue to keep myself from cutting in right then. “But I know that it’s not healthy. For any of us. I know that it’s been a change…having us here. Me, first, and now Mom. I can’t imagine what an adjustment it’s been, and I’m so grateful for your kindness toward us.”
Suddenly, I felt like I was getting broken up with. My chest was tight, ready to explode with tears. I couldn’t let him end this. I couldn’t let him walk away. I couldn’t lose anyone else.
“I think we both know this isn’t working. I just…” He rubbed his hands over the thighs of his plaid pajama pants, staring at the wall in front of him. “I don’t know what to do.” He looked at me then. “I love you so much.”
“I love you, too,” I said, breaking my rule about speaking before I knew he was done.
“But I love my mom, too. She’s all—I’m all she has left, and she was all I had for a very long time. When my dad got sick, it was just us, dealing with it all. I know you can’t understand it. I know you must think I’m crazy, but she’s always been good to me. She’s always taken care of me. She’s my mom, Lor, and she’s really hurting right now. But keeping her here is hurting you, so what am I supposed to do
? I just feel so lost and overwhelmed.” His voice broke and he stopped speaking, but I could see the figurative weight I’d placed on his shoulders without realizing it. I’d been so focused on my own issues with Coralee, I hadn’t thought of what this must be doing to him.
“I’m sorry, Jack. I’ve been so foolish.”
“You haven’t—”
“No, no, I have.” I leaned off the bench, lowering myself to the carpet on my knees and moving across to him. When I reached his legs, I took hold of his hands, staring into his eyes. “You’re right, this isn’t easy for any of us, but I could’ve made it better. I think the initial impression with your mother being here—the allergy incident—it’s just soured me to her and maybe I’ve placed unnecessary blame on her, but I just get worried about Rynlee and that’s all I can think about. She’s been the source of a lot of stress where my daughter’s concerned. You see that, don’t you?” He nodded, but didn’t say anything. “Maybe I jumped to conclusions on some of it. Maybe I was too harsh. If that’s the case, I’m really, really sorry. I love you so much.” I squeezed his hands. “I’m so glad you’re in my life. Family means sacrifice, and if this is a sacrifice I have to make for a while longer, I will. Whatever it takes to keep our family together.” I kissed his fingers, looking back up to see his eyes locked on mine.
When he smiled, my heart warmed instantly. He leaned down, his lips on mine, and the feeling was so foreign I felt fresh tears prick my eyes. Aside from a peck on the lips as he was walking out the door most mornings, we’d hardly had time to speak in private, let alone kiss like we were now, let alone all the things I’d been dying to do with a moment to ourselves…
I stood from the ground, refusing to remove my lips from his, and wrapped my arms around his neck, moaning under my breath. He responded to the sound, pulling me onto his lap and leaning back onto the bed. I kissed his lips, his cheek, his jaw, his neck, growing more impatient with every move.
The Mother-in-Law Page 11